gilded
by geminibbyy
Summary: The Upper East Side serves as a playground to trust fund babies behaving badly. And haven't you heard? Privilege and scandal always goes hand in hand. "A 'Queen B' who can't even keep her court in order is certainly no queen of mine." (gossip girl universe x oc) [SEASON 1]
1. prologue

_Let me start by thanking you, yes **you**, for deciding to give this story a read. This is an OC story, which I know isn't everyones cup of tea, but fear not because she's not a Mary-Sue. Secondly, with the reboot of GG happening over at HBO Max(um, **yay!**) I have decided to make this version of the GG world much more 'edgy' and mature, hence the rating. Because quite frankly, that's how it should have always been done in my opinion. _

_This is FanFiction so while the story will follow a lot of the shows general main plots, there will obviously be some key differences as well as new plots points as we go further along, and certain aspects of canon characters getting changed. However, I promise not to change any of the characters to the point you can't recognize them. I'm huge on realism within storytelling so I would never dream of completely changing the characters or world that we've all come to love. _

_Lastly, I haven't quite determined who to pair my OC up with just **yet**, and kind of want to leave that up to you the readers and who you think would be best suited to her. So throughout the first couple chapters I'll have her interacting with different options and you can either review, or pm me, with what pairing you'd prefer to see :)_

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**WARNING: **

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS MENTIONS, DRUG AND ALCOHOL **

**USE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, ETC**

**_WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS._**

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All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters, belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Shwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any and all mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true family.

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_"Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality."_

—Oscar Wilde

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**ʜᴇʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ!**

_ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴡʜɪғғ. sᴍᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ? sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ's ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ's sᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. ʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴡᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪʟᴅ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴏᴛs ᴏғ sɪᴢᴢʟɪɴɢ ʜᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴅ sᴇɴsᴀᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɢᴏssɪᴘ; ᴛᴏᴘᴘʟᴇss ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʟᴅɪᴠᴇs, sᴋɪɴɴʏ ᴅɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ sɪsᴛᴇʀ's ғɪᴀɴᴄᴇᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀᴍᴘᴛᴏɴs, ᴀ ᴍᴇʀᴇ ᴘᴜʙʟɪᴄ ɪɴᴛᴏxɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ ғᴀʀ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴜғғɪᴄᴇᴅ. ʙᴜᴛ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ sɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ. **ɴ** ᴡᴀs ᴏғғ sᴀɪʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴀsᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴀɪɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴀɪɴ; ɪ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ʟᴏᴛs ᴏғ sᴘᴏʀᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴏʟɪᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ᴛᴀʟᴋ *ʟᴇ sɪɢʜ*. ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ 'ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ' ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀᴄʜɪʙᴀʟᴅs. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋғᴜʟʟʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ғᴏʀ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴏᴋs. ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴄᴀɴᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴍɪssᴇᴅ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ɴ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄɪᴛʏ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ, ʀɪɢʜᴛ? ɪᴅᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴘʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜᴇʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ғᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ʙᴏʏ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇs ғᴏʀ ʀᴇʟɪɢɪᴏɴ, ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴏғ ɴᴀᴛᴇ ᴀʀᴄʜɪʙᴀʟᴅ. ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴜᴍᴏʀ ʜᴀs ɪᴛ ʜᴇ's ɴᴏᴛ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙʟᴀɪʀ, sᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴜs, ᴡʜᴏsᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏғғ ᴀʀᴄʜɪʙᴀʟᴅ? sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏғ **ʙ**…sʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ʙᴜsʏ ᴛʜɪs sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ʙᴏᴜɴᴄɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴠᴀʀɪᴏᴜs ɪɴᴛᴇʀɴsʜɪᴘs ᴀɴᴅ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ sᴄʜᴏʟᴀʀ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍs. ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴏʏғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴏғғ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ sᴀɪʟᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴅɪsᴛᴀɴᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀ 'ʙғғ' ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅ, s ᴍɪᴀ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀ ғᴏʀ ᴅɪsᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀsᴇʟғ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴇs ᴏғ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʀᴜᴍʙʟɪɴɢ ᴇᴍᴘɪʀᴇ. **ᴏ** ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴜᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ. sʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛ sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ. sʜᴇ's ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ sᴛɪʟʟ ʟɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ʜᴇʀ ᴊᴜɴᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴇᴀᴜ, ɪsᴀᴀᴄ ʙᴀɪᴢᴇɴ. ʀᴜᴍᴏʀ ʜᴀs ɪᴛ, ʜɪs ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴇʀ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ's ᴀᴍᴇx ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ɪsᴀᴀᴄ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴅᴇ. ɴᴏᴀʜ ᴡʀᴏᴛᴇ ᴀʟɪ 𝟹𝟼𝟻 ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs, ᴀɴᴅ ɪsᴀᴀᴄ ᴅᴜᴍᴘᴇᴅ ᴏᴅᴇᴛᴛᴇ ᴠɪᴀ ᴘᴏsᴛᴄᴀʀᴅ… ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴜᴘs ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʙɪɢɢᴇʀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴏ… ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇғᴇʟʟᴇʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴜʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴᴇsᴛ ᴛɪssᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴀʀs. **ᴄ** ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴍᴜʟᴛɪᴘʟᴇ ᴛɪᴘs ᴀɴᴅ sᴘᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢs ᴏғ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴅʟʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ sᴄᴀɴᴅᴀʟᴏᴜs ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ. sᴏ, ʙᴀsɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴛʜɪs sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴡᴀs ᴀɴ ᴜᴛᴛᴇʀ sɴᴏᴏᴢᴇ ғᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴜᴘᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ sᴜɪᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇsᴛ ɴᴇᴡs ᴇᴠᴇʀ. ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜ. sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪs sᴜʀᴇʟʏ ʙʀᴇᴡɪɴɢ, ᴅᴀʀᴇ ɪ sᴀʏ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ.. sᴄᴀɴᴅᴀʟ?_

_ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɴᴇᴡ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ʏᴇᴀʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴜs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇssᴜʀᴇs ᴏғ sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ sᴛᴀᴛᴜs, ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍɪᴄ ᴀᴄᴄᴏʟᴀᴅᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴅʀᴜɢ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʀ. ɴᴏᴡ ᴀᴅᴅ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɪɴsᴇᴄᴜʀɪᴛɪᴇs ғʟᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴍɪɴᴇᴇʀɪɴɢ ʟɪsᴛ — _

_**sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ:** ᴀᴛ 𝟾𝟿 ᴇᴀsᴛ 𝟺𝟸ɴᴅ sᴛʀᴇᴇᴛ,_

_ᴀɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴛᴏᴏ ғᴀᴍɪʟɪᴀʀ, ʟᴇɢɢʏ, ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜsʟʏ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ, ʙʟᴏɴᴅᴇ ᴡᴀs sᴇᴇɴ ʙᴀɢs ɪɴ ʜᴀɴᴅ ғɪɢʜᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴜsᴛʟɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴏᴡᴅ ᴀᴛ ɢʀᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴇɴᴛʀᴀʟ sᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ, **s** ɪs ʙᴀᴄᴋ? _

_ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴋɪᴛᴛᴇɴs, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴʟʏ sᴇʀᴇɴᴀ ᴠᴅᴡ ɪs ʙᴀᴄᴋ. sᴏ ʟᴏᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴏʏғʀɪᴇɴᴅs, ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀs. _

_ᴡᴀs ɪᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴇʀᴇɴᴀ ʟᴇғᴛ ғᴏʀ ǫᴜᴏᴛᴇ 'ʙᴏᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ'. ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ, sʜᴇ's ʙᴀᴄᴋ. ᴡʜʏ'ᴅ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ? ᴡʜʏ'ᴅ sʜᴇ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ? _

_ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴍʏ ᴀᴠɪᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs, ɪ'ʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍʏ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀs, ɪ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴅᴏ. ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ, ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴜʟʟ sᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ɪs ᴏғғɪᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ's ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴡɪʟᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʏᴇᴀʀ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴍᴇʟʟ ɪᴛ._

**_xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ_**

* * *

**_'Bzz.'_**

Odette's hand flinched towards her mobile as it vibrated, signaling her of yet another message. Her phone had been blowing up the past fifteen minutes and she was itching to see what the fuss was about.

_"I need your focus Odette… You seem put off."_

"Well, of course I am," The young girl huffs in annoyance as she buries her shoulders further back into the completely uncomfortable leather chair in which she's been planted in for the last half hour, "I'm missing a dinner party with my friends to be _here_, having the same conversation I've had week after week, I have nothing more to say on the matter quite honestly."

Dr. Avery Windsor was a slender women of fifty; she had a bleached, geometric, bob, and glasses that topped off her look of modern chic. She was very good at what she did. Well acclaimed by all her patients… all her patients besides the miffed teenager before her.

"How long have we been meeting, dear?"

Refraining from rolling her eyes back into her head Odette bites lightly down on her tongue, cautiously thinking over her words. She was annoyed with the situation but she didn't necessarily want to be rude to the women before her. She was older and what was the saying of _'respect thy elders…'_

"I started seeing you shortly after I turned thirteen, that's around the time my parents divorce processed. Yet here we are two years later and they still find it necessary to send my sister and I to meet with you... _Every. Single. Week_."

The therapist looks over her poised patient with a calming expression to match her tone, "And you don't feel any sort of way about this? Besides annoyed of course."

"Not really." Sighing, Odette pushes her freshly curled hair back. "I haven't seen my parents in a proper relationship since I was ten. And the marriage stopped being loving long before then. I didn't care much when they originally decided to divorce and I could care a whole lot less now that it's been done with for so long."

"Yes, and why do you think you felt so unbothered by it all? Parents separating, families falling apart, it can all be very traumatic for their children, I know Courtney was taking it quite hard."

"That's because Coco never saw how they were before. Back when they could actually tolerate each other we were both so young. I can barely remember it so of course she doesn't at all. The only way she knows my parents is the fighting and name-calling, my father wanting nothing to do with my mother and my mother being desperate for my father's love. ...any love really." _But that was a conversation for another time._ "To Coco that is what love is, at least for them. She just liked the idea of having 'mommy' and 'daddy' together and being one happy family..." She trails off staring blankly at the art pieces that adorned the four walls. After a few moments pass she continues, "My father has been married twice and had four other children before my mother and us, remember? He now has three different families he's broken up. My father _clearly_ isn't made for marriage. Which is fine, monogamy isn't for everyone. Besides that, they just aren't a good match. My father finds my mother to be completely humiliating to his status. Which frankly, I don't blame him... I mean, you've seen her on that _ridiculous_ show" She shakes her head in disgust at the thought, "The woman is a total nutjob."

_'Like mother, like daughter...'_ Of course, the good doctor would never dare utter such a thing. Instead of honing in on Odette's obvious _'mommy dearest'_ issues Dr. Windsor takes this as an opportunity to steer the conversation in another direction, "How are you doing with your break up?"

At the sudden change of topics, Odette can't help but chuckle darkly. This whole thing was such a joke, was she seriously asking about her love life as if she's one of her girlfriends?

"We still have ten minutes on the clock." Avery reminds her as she takes a sip from her porcelain coffee cup, "Would you rather us sit in silence."

If there's one thing anyone that knew Odette in the slightest knew it was her deep-rooted discomfort for long, awkward, silences.

"The breakup," Literally everyone in her life expected her to be devastated over the loss of her former _beau_. But it was something she was long over, "technically he dumped me way before the postcard was even sent, he dumped me the minute he got on that plane with his _degenerate_ brother. He dumped me by falling off the face of the earth, there's not much else to say about that." Well, _mostly_ over.

Avery notices as Odette's sharp stature falters, her eyes dropping to the floor. "You had been together for a long time." _'In teenager world at least...'_

"Only a few months..." Her cerulean eyes dart to the clock on the wall.

**_'Bzz.'_**

"You're quite the popular girl, you must know a lot of people."

Looking from where her phone sits a few feet away, Odette shrugs casually, "A lot of people know me."

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes."

"How so?"

Odette stares Avery down for a few moments, debating if this is a road she necessarily wanted to head down right now. Finally, she lets out a dramatic sigh before continuing.

"I have almost one million people that follow me on instagram Dr. Windsor. One million people. I know you're... older... and might not realize, but that is a ridiculous amount of people to be following a sixteen-year-old."

"Fifteen." Dr. Windsor corrects, her facial expression never faltering. Not even at the 'older' comment. She was good...

"Well, I'm almost sixteen."

"But not quite yet. So, fifteen."

Odette concedes and rolls her eyes before going on, "Thousands upon thousands tune in every week to watch the train-wreck that is my mother, and unfortunately a lot of my adolescents has been filmed via Bravo cameras. When I'm not being filmed by her dumb show I have some anonymous stalker tracking and posting about mine and my peers day to day lives. And to top it all off, I come from one of the most renowned families in New York. So I'm a favorite of page six." She can feel her chest tightening as she continues, "I am constantly under a microscope and displayed for the world to see, talk about, and judge. I can go anywhere from forty north to seventy-third west and somebody will know who I am and think they know everything about me_ purely_ based on what they see and read about me. It's all a bit jarring at times."

Dr. Windsor takes in a short breath, "I can tell this all causes you a great deal of anxiety, why is that do you think?"

Before Odette can answer, her eyes flicker to the wall clock one last time and suddenly a smirk spreads across her delicate features. She smooths down her pleated dress, "Well would you look at that, time's up." Rising up she now towers over the women sitting before her, "Let me guess, same time next week?" Her tone of voice is almost mocking as she finally reaches for her phone.

"If you can manage the time, I know how _busy_ you must be with school starting again…" Avery comments offhandedly as she scratches out her signature on Odette's Zetran prescription refill. _Again_.

Odette is no longer listening though as she scrolls through her messages.

**(1)Gossip Girl Update**

**(5) Text Messages from Blair**

**(2) Missed calls from Blair**

**(2) Group Text Messages from Kati and Iz**

_To: Odette_

_From: Blair_

_That's pretty! I'm wearing lace though so maybe you could wear something satin instead?_

_To: Odette_

_From: Blair_

_For dinner tonight I set you next to Nate's cute friend from Dalton, you're welcome xx_

_To: Odette_

_From: Blair_

_Did you see GG?_

_To: Odette, Kati_

_From: Iz_

_B is going postal. Its epic_

_-K_

_To: Odette_

_From: Blair_

_Where the hell are you?_

_To: Odette_

_From: Blair_

_Get your ass here now!_

_To: Odette, Kati_

_From: Iz_

_omg Dette seriously can't believe you're missing this. Where are you anyway?_

_-I_

_"You are going through these at a higher rate then I initially expected you to, which can make your anxiety worse when you crash from it. As well as cause serious harm to you, so please be careful. It's-"_

"School, right... Super, super packed schedule. I'll see if I can squeeze you in though." Odette cuts the women off snatching the prescription note out of her hand. She needed to get to Blair's, immediately.

* * *

"Thank you." Odette smiles sweetly to the familiar doorman of the Waldorf's building as he opens the door to her families escalade. "I'll call you when I'm ready Peter." She mentions to her driver before stepping out.

_"Well, well, well, look who has decided to finally grace us with her presence."_

Odette can't withhold the natural scowl that finds it's way upon her usually pristine features at this familiar sound of voice.

"Chuck…" she nods to him as he smokes a cigarette outside with one of the girls in her sophomore class whose name she never bothered to learn.

Staring at the infamous young Bass she couldn't help but grimace. She had thankfully avoided seeing Chuck all summer but her good luck had certainly run out and seeing him now only brought back all her previous feelings of distain for him. But she didn't have time to waste on _stupid _Chuck, or his poor, _stupid_, victim of the night. Considering how upset Blair had been at Serena's unexpected departure, she could only imagine how worked up Blair must be over her sudden return. She needed her.

"Blair seemed quite put off by the fact you blew off her mothers soiree." After pausing to take a drag he continues, "Somewhere between Serena showing up and then promptly leaving, and Nathaniel bailing out due to a _'migraine'_. Our little princess has deemed the situation at hand worthy of locking herself away in her tower." His eyes flicker up the expansive building to the top corner window; Blair's bedroom.

"Right," nodding Odette waves her hand through the smoke he blew her way as she moves around him. "Then I suppose that would make you, what? The fire breathing dragon?"

"You know me well, _Swan_." He smirks, taking another puff before shifting his focus back on the easy looking red head before him.

She waited to be out of his line of sight before rolling her eyes at his silly pet name. He only did it to antagonize her and she didn't want to give him any type of satisfaction by letting him know it bothered her. At the moment Chuck Bass was really the least of her concerns.

Taking a calming breath she presses the up button on the elevator and waits, taking the moment to quickly think of what might be the right thing to say. But, what could she say in a situation like this?_ 'Sorry the person you feel the most inferior to in the world is back? Sorry the person you love is so obviously in love with her?' _Everyone knew that was true, even Blair. But it was never explicitly talked about... she wondered if maybe Blair thought that if it wasn't said out loud it wouldn't be true.

The elevator chimes as it's doors open, welcoming her in whether she's ready or not. She was pretty sure she was though...

She might not know what to expect on the other side of this or what to say _exactly_, but she had been through a lot with Blair in the past year. She had climbed her way up and was really trying to prove to Blair she was more than the other girls; she was more than some pathetic lackey. She was a friend, and more importantly a great current ally and possible future Queen of Constance Billiard. She had been working hard to make her social life what she wanted. But she still had a long ways to go to reach what she was aspiring for long term. Social hierarchy on the Upper East Side was all one big chess game, with lots of moving pieces. It was sort of exhausting... but, this was her life now and there was no way she was going to let anything derail all she had worked for. Least of all the return of Serena Van der Woodsen.

* * *

_Ok, so there we have it... I hope this didn't bore you to tears. This was not the official first chapter, but I posted this to serve as more of a prologue and as a way to get readers a little bit acquainted with my OC before we fully dive in. I'll be posting the first chapter, hopefully, later this week so if you like what you've read so far be on the look out for that. _

_Thank you again to anyone giving this story a chance. I love gossip girl so much, and I'm really looking forward to sharing this story with whoever cares to read it._


	2. chapter one

_I don't want to get on a soapbox, but I'm kind of going to; bear with me! I forgot to mention in the prologue that while this story takes place in 'Season One' instead of the year being 2007, the year will be 2014. Basically I'm doing this because certain things that I want to include o weren't around in 2007, or weren't as big of a deal then as they were circa 2014. I'm also already planning on making a sequel that will take place in real-time. Meaning, 2020 most likely._

_If you feel so inclined make sure to check out the Instagram page ( **'gilded . ff'**_ but no space, a link will also be on my profile page)_ I've set up as a 'social media companion piece' for this story. I'll be posting character aesthetics, chapter preview videos, text conversations we might not see via posted chapters, outfit inspirations, etc. I may already have two videos posted on there..._

_I also would like to take a moment to HIGHLY suggest that you go give **greyspaces'** story** 'The Chase'** and it's sequel **'Ultraviolet'** a read if you haven't already. Though I imagine if you're reading this, you probably(hopefully) already have. Her oc is...phenomenal, and the journey/story is captivating. There are so many stories on here with no real plot, rhyme or reason, hers isn't like that at all. The meticulous planning that clearly went into the original story, and now the sequel, deserves to be appreciated. So go do that, quickly._

_Once again, thank you to anyone giving this story a chance! Hope you enjoy the first full chapter._

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SUGGESTIVE SITUATIONS, DRUG, AND ALCOHOL ****USE**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

_"I know hate is a strong word and everything, but it's okay: we're teenagers."_

* * *

Blair was a bigger wreck than she had expected. For someone that had seemingly appeared so cool and collected at the sudden loss of her former BFF, she was quite the opposite upon Serena's return. Their whole lives Blair had felt inadequate to almost everyone, that's why she always put on such a strong front to others; she always made the point to make people feel inferior to her to mask her insecurities. Girls like Serena and Odette couldn't possibly understand her day to day struggle. They had a natural confidence and had family behind them that constantly built them up in one way or another.

Blair couldn't relate.

Her entire life for every compliment she received from Eleanor there would be five insults, digs, or just general disapprovals. Having her dad around used to alleviate the tension. He would never say anything at that moment, as to not irritate Eleanor further. But after the fact, when Blair was feeling her lowest, he always found some small way to make her feel a little better.

But her dad was gone now.

He'd left her to weather _hurricane Eleanor_ all alone. As perfect as she once thought her dad was, he still had his flaws as a father. _Who abandons their kid and then sticks an ocean between them?_ Even if she did want to call her dad, there was the issue of the time difference. Potentially, it was a whole new day in France and by the time she'd hear back, it would be a new day in New York too and what was the point of that? It was all way too much of a nuisance, so she stopped bothering to call him at all.

It was selfish to expect people to bend to her will, and essentially bring themselves down to make her feel better, but she would be lying to herself if she said she didn't expect her friends to do just that. At least to a degree.

Serena had always been terrible at it.

She would try for a time, but her personality was too big. She liked the attention just as much as Blair, if not more. She took pleasure in having all eyes on her, and when you were with Serena it was a given that all eyes _would_ be on her. She had been beautiful since birth and everything always came so effortlessly to Serena. She ate far more than Blair yet always remained skinny. She could talk to anyone and never appeared nervous. Boys loved her, girls wanted to be her. She was everything Blair wanted to be and she didn't even have to try.

In Blair's eyes, Odette was a much better friend because she always toned herself down at her expense. Which was a lot to ask, but Odette always obliged. She was younger than any of Blair's other friends which was an initial drawback but the fact she always let Blair have all the spotlight, with zero fight back, also made her rather instantly appealing.

Odette was typically always willing to entertain Blair's whims but fairly recently she had begun to grow somewhat tired of it all. It could be sort of draining to constantly feel like your only purpose in a friendship was to make the other person feel better about themselves. And honestly, due to Blair's low self-esteem, it was starting to get harder to do. But she also knew being friends with Blair had its fair share of perks and that she would rather have her as a needy friend than a vengeful enemy.

However, nights like last night made her seriously question it all. Blair had been a sobbing mess by the time Odette arrived and talking her down off the metaphorical ledge proved to be far more difficult than she had initially expected. She would talk her up only for Blair to bring herself back down. It was a constant back and forth.

Finally, around two o'clock in the morning, Odette had finally managed to calm Blair down by reminding her that she couldn't let Serena get her this worked up and ruin all that Blair had worked so hard to achieve in her absence.

The Blair that was friends with Serena back then was a much different girl today.

Blair had always struggled a little bit with her weight, she was never fat per se but certainly a little chubbier than the other girls. But, the emotional trauma of the last year (and bulimia) had done wonders for her body. She was the thinnest she'd ever been and her mother was extremely pleased with that fact. She had found herself a group of beta girls to follow her and elevated her status to that of_ 'Queen Bee'_ at Constance with her long term goals set on the entire Upper East Side. She had a gorgeous boyfriend, even if he was somewhat emotionally and physically distant. It didn't really matter, she had him. Nate Archibald, the guy so many girls pined over was_ her boyfriend_. She had the beauty, she had the friends, and she had the boy. Life was good, for the most part.

Hopefully their talk had stuck with Blair and her confidence hadn't retreated in the last five hours since Odette had seen her.

Unfortunately, due to her unexpected late-night, Odette had overslept and was running extremely late to meet the girls.

Typically she was a creature of habit and she had a very strict morning regimen that she followed like religion.

She'd wake up at five-thirty on the dot and workout in her home gym till six. From there she'd take a shower, generously apply her moisturizers, and do a collagen face mask as she did her hair. Her last step, before applying her makeup, was to always, _always_ put on sunscreen. When she was in middle school she had read in a magazine that it helped to keep one's skin smooth and delicate. Looking at her mother's aging face she knew her older self would appreciate the extra care younger her put in to prevent looking like that.

But today she had to skip a few steps and she was majorly regretting it as she hurried up the steps of The Met to greet the girls. They all looked so well put together, as they should for the first day of school. The first day of school was the time to show off how skinny and tan you had gotten over the summer, it was important to look your best on all days but especially this one. And she didn't even get to shower or do her collagen mask. She had also forgotten to apply her sunscreen and would now probably need lots of botox as an adult to combat the wrinkles, _just like her mother_.

"Hey guys," she greets somewhat breathlessly, "Thanks for waking me up Coco." She shoots daggers at her younger sister who was seated a step below Kati and Iz, looking absolutely stunning in.. _'my new Hermes boots?'_ "Nice boots." She comments as she kicks the tip of the shoe lightly. She hadn't even had the chance to wear them yet.

Coco scoffs as she feels Odette kick her, "Yeah well, it's not my job to be your wake up call." Kati and Iz giggle along with Coco at Odettes expense.

It was safe to say the sisters weren't seeing eye to eye these days.

Odettes lips were pinched shut as she refrained from firing back at Coco. She wasn't in the mood for a catfight with her baby sister, especially in front of all these girls that she knew would revel in the mess of it all.

Instead, she shifts her focus to Blair.

She was deep in thought as she studied the invitations Jenny Humphrey had made for her. After a few additional beats pass Blair smiles brightly to the freshman, "Very nice Jenny. Don't forget to keep one for yourself as thanks for a job well done." She reaches out and takes the box of handwritten invitations from the new girl.

That was the arrangement they had agreed on, but Jenny had wondered if there would be some sort of catch.

When it was announced over the summer that Blair would be hosting the first big social event of the season Jenny made it her mission to reach out to Blair and offer her services. This was Jenny's very first day of high school, and her first time attending private school. She had heard all the stories from her older brother, Dan, but she was eager to give herself a different experience than him. She meant no offense to her brother, but he was a complete nobody in this world and Jenny wanted to be _somebody_. From her extensive research of the Gossip Girl site, she knew Blair and her exclusive posse of headband wearing mean girls was the exact way to go about it. Handwriting each individual invite had taken up most of her time, but it was all worth it now. Jenny was all smiles as she looked down at _her_ invitation.

Coco had been feeling pretty good about herself but at the revelation that Jenny had received an invite to the Kiss on The Lips party, she couldn't help but sulk. The charity party was well known for only being for upperclassmen. She knew this, but it didn't change the fact she felt _she_ deserved to be the exception. Not this nobody from Brooklyn. _Where had she even come from anyway?_

Odette didn't fail to notice Coco's sudden change of mood, but she didn't dare comment on the fact. The party was somewhat of a sensitive subject between the sisters, and lately the cause of most of their fighting.

_"Oh shit, incoming B..."_

As she registered Kati's warning Odette braced herself for whoever might be approaching them. She was tempted to turn and take a peek but didn't want to be transparent and give them all away.

_"Hey, I looked for you guys all over the dining hall. We don't do breakfast there anymore?"_

Due to her _pointless_ therapy session, Odette had missed Serena's epic crashing of Eleanor's soiree but suddenly she understood why Blair had been so full of despair after the fact.

She looked incredible.

Serena had always been a pretty girl and far more developed than most of the other girls in school. Yet the time away had clearly still done wonders for her. Her skin had never looked more clear, and she had never looked so...well kept. Maybe seeing her like this was so shocking because this was one of the only times Odette had seen Serena sober.

_'Some things have changed.'_

"When's the party?" Serena questions as she snatches one of the invites from Iz's overly tight grip, ignoring the awkward side-eyes all the girls were giving one another.

_"Saturday. And you're kind of not invited."_

Yeah, lots of things had really changed...

* * *

There are two types of rich people; those who have money, and those who have _wealth_. And the Rockefeller's had wealth beyond what most people could believe. Which they liked to boast, typically with lavish parties such as the one tonight for their foundation.

Despite seemingly having it all and some, they were always looking for more, more, _more_. David was constantly reminding his children, and his children's children, of the fact that if you weren't constantly looking to expand and grow you'll get left behind. Not by him necessarily, but by society.

In his mind, there was no question that the next best move for them was to partner with Bass Industries, which had proved itself as a growing, and reputable, powerhouse company over the last two decades.

Bart Bass was new money. He was reared in Queens, of all places, and within five years of graduating from Columbia, he was well on his way to being considered the _real estate king_ of Manhattan. In the last ten years, he had skyrocketed his wealth to new heights with his companies venture into international markets. There was no one else currently in the real estate game doing it as well as Bart Bass. He was a self-made billionaire and Bass Industries was revered as one of the most affluent companies of today.

Much like Bart Bass, the Rockefellers owned several enviable properties in Manhattan. Unlike Bart, they had built, or amassed said properties over generations. The Rockefellers were true blue old money; _modern-day New York royalty_. And while maybe not everyone _liked_ the Rockefellers, everyone feared them. The name carried weight. Forget merely opening doors, throwing their name around could help you shatter entire glass ceilings. However, say or do the wrong thing and they could also have you black-listed in high society; and once they say you're out, you're done for good. There is no coming back from crossing a Rockefeller, and Rockefellers always manage to come out on top. Regardless of who they have to step on to get there. History had very much proven this fact.

Knowing that, some might say Bart would be an idiot to partner with such a cut-throat family. But there was very little that scared Bartholomew Bass and David and his clan of Rockefellers were not one of them.

Despite all that the distinguished family had to offer Bart wasn't quite sold. David was the patriarch of the family and acting CEO of the company, and the foundation. He was still wise in the ways of business, sure, but there were whispers amongst the board of directors that he was slipping up with age...

It wasn't just Bart's money that was new, but his ideas. David was far more traditional and somewhat stuck in the past. Bart had no issue making it clear he would be more willing to do business with David's son, J.D, whose thoughts and ambitions much more accurately aligned with his own. But the old man was far too stubborn to pass down his company. He was convinced he could win Bart Bass over based purely on his own merit.

He also was a firm believer that it never hurt to flash around your money and connections.

"...and I want to thank my dear friend, Bart Bass, for letting us host our _little_ event here." The press furiously snapped pictures as David talked to his eager crowd. "He just recently bought this hotel you know? Mark my words that company, that man, is truly going to elevate not only the Upper East Side but Manhattan as a whole, in a way that we haven't seen...well since a Rockefeller did it." With a subtle wink, David raised his glass in a toast, "Here's to Bart. And here's to all of you that came out to celebrate us. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Andy." He snickers and a few people from the crowd join him in laughter, "My apologies, I'm only poking some fun at my old friend. But truly, thank you for your support, Governor Cuomo. Thank you all. Enjoy the party, and don't worry all drinks are on my tab tonight cheapskates." At this reveal a roar of applause breaks out and David moves to exit the stage.

The family's overly ambitious publicist, Jordan Leakes, was quick to David's side giving him his notes before he could even step off the stage. He offered the older man his hand to help him down the remaining steps which David, of course, swatted away more than determined to do it himself. Jordan wasn't phased in the slightest and carried on with talking his ear off.

"We should move quickly and try to get a picture of you and the Governor."

"That was a wonderful speech Pops."

David's eyes lit up as he was greeted by Odette.

"Grandfather." Jordan quickly corrected, his eyes scanning the room, "_'Pops'_ is _so_ midwestern middle class."

Odette and David exchange a mutual eye roll as they greet one another with a kiss to the cheek. There was no point in correcting Jordan, he was constantly looking to preserve their family's image. It was annoying but also expected.

"I had begun to think I had just imagined you were my granddaughter." David gives the teen a knowing look, "Where have you been hiding?"

"According to Gossip Girl, she's been in bed all summer crying over that Baizen kid."

"Yeah? Thanks for that Jordy." The sarcasm dripped off her tongue but Jordan never even bothered to look up from his phone. "Gossip Girl is for teenagers. Why are you even reading it to begin with?" she continues, her eyes narrowing at him.

Before he can answer David taps the man on his back, "Jordy, why don't you go get yourself a drink. I know you're on the clock, but I'm insisting." His point was clear. _Fuck off._

Odette smirked knowingly and waved goodbye to the the clearly perturbed publicist before he begrudgingly headed to the bar.

"Only a stick in the mud like him would be upset at the prospect of getting paid to drink for free." Odette comments offhandedly as she turns her attention back to her grandfather.

David chuckles as he takes another drink of his scotch before offering her a sip.

Odette shakes her head, "I'm not particularly a fan..." In truth, she had only ever tasted scotch on the tongues of other people. But even it's smell brought back bad memories flooding back. It wasn't for her.

"Well feel free to get yourself something more your taste, just keep it in moderation. You never know who might be watching. I'm going to go look for Courtney, I spotted her around here somewhere." David casually peers around the room as he saunters off in search of the youngest Rockefeller.

Odette promptly heads towards the bar, making sure to be debonair and greeting each passerby. As she waits for the busy bartender to come her way she turns back to observe the bustling party. The room was quite crowded, all with people here to celebrate her family and the work they did. Sometimes it felt like she was having a lucid dream, that this wasn't really her life. But it was, and perhaps she was lucky. Sometimes, however, it all felt like too much of a hassle.

Amongst the jovial crowd her eyes catch sight of Jordan, so obviously schmoozing and boozing her grandfathers' colleagues. In particular, a young, beautiful blonde. That man never knew when to quit, and he was always ready. Which in her opinion made him somewhat calculating. He was always looking for the next best thing.

Odette's face twisted in disgust as Jordan's hand dropped below the blondes' waist. What would his wife _Ally_ think of that...

Across the room, Jordan could feel someone's eyes burning a hole in his head. Looking up from the group he was socializing with he spots Odette at the bar. Alone. In a very understated, very Jordan way, he lifts his drink to her with a small, but noticeable, smirk.

Her jaw clenched as she quickly turned away from his gaze and back to the bar. For being a distinguished man in his thirties, Jordan sure behaved like that of an ill-mannered child.

* * *

A reporter from the New York Post was asking Odette for a sound bite on her knowledge of what's to come for the Rockefeller family.

"I think the next big event for us is the annual tree lighting at Rockefeller Center. Christmas has always been a massive deal in my family and we're all really looking forward to it..." Looking over the reporter's shoulder Odette can see Chuck walk into the party. He was most definitely not on the guest list. Leave it to Bass to be an event crasher though, "I'm sorry, can you just excuse me for a moment." Without waiting for an answer she moves around the reporter to meet Chuck midway.

As soon as he saw her a devilish grin broke out across his face. She was so easily annoyed by him, and he loved watching how easily he could get under her supple skin.

"What are _you_ doing here? You weren't invited."

"Please," He pushes past her and goes to the bar. Signaling the bartender he orders his usual, "My father owns this hotel, I don't need an invite." He takes a long gulp of his drink before offering her some. _'Who said chivalry was dead?'_ Before she can respond with something smart he pulls the glass tumbler back, "Oh right, you don't like scotch."

She can already feel her blood pressure rising, and she hadn't brought her pills. She takes a shaky breath to steady herself. "Chuck, this is a private event that my grandfather has worked very hard on. I don't need you coming in here and..._chucking_ it all up."

"Relax Swan," He rolls his eyes at her typical dramatics, "I wouldn't dream of pissing off your dear old grandfather. Jimmy here," he nods to the bartender, "just happens to make the best drinks."

Odette looks down at his glass and then back up at him, "Take glass, pour scotch. It's hardly rocket science. No offense to Jimmy." She throws in the last portion for the bartenders' expense.

Chuck studied her carefully. She was clearly getting overly worked up, but he wasn't sure what exactly had her so frigid. Surely not him. "You need to learn to relax more. I'm having some people over later for a toke session if you care to partake?"

"Shut up!" Odette was almost tempted to cover his mouth as she frantically looked around to see who all may have heard him, but it seemed the only witness was thankfully Jimmy. Odette wouldn't consider herself a pothead by any means, but she did occasionally..._indulge_. Of course, she would never want the general public to be aware of that fact. Chuck was Chuck, shame was his game but she was a Rockefeller and according to Jordan and the world, they had a particular image to uphold. "Look, stay, go, _whatever_. Just please try not to roofie anyone, okay? This is a classy party. Predatory behaviors aren't exactly on the menu."

"Oooh, I love it when you talk dirty."

This comment throws her for a loop and her face falters momentarily before quickly going stoic as she regains herself, "Yeah okay.." Turning sharply on her heel she walks away from him. She wouldn't allow Chuck Bass to throw her off her with his stupid little mind games. That was _so_ last year.

Odette is pulled out of her thoughts of the past, of which she was desperate to forget, by the feeling of two dainty hands taking firm hold of her left arm.

_"Damn, what are you stewing about?"_

Odette was taken slightly off guard by seeing Blair so chipper. It was a stark difference from when she had last seen the demure brunette. "I take it things with Serena went well?"

"Well, she groveled a lot so I didn't feel like torturing the poor girl much more. She's really lost without me." Blair shrugged looking around the party.

Odette nodded but didn't say anything more on the subject. Sometimes it bothered her how ingenuine Blair could be. Like everyone else in their world she had an image she liked to present, Odette could understand that. But how exhausting it must be to constantly project yourself as something you so obviously weren't. Blair was very insecure, that's all it boiled down to.

"You have your big night with Nate, right?" She watched as Blair's face lit up at the mere mention. Tonight was the night Blair was giving her sacred virginity to Nate Archibald. Odette didn't quite understand the big tadoo. But the 'loss' of her virginity hadn't been a particularly special moment so perhaps she just didn't understand. Or that's what Blair would tell her anyway.

"Oh, you have no idea..." Before Blair can spill all the lurid details the girls are interrupted by David. Within seconds Blair's entire mannerisms switch and she turns on the charm for the Rockefeller patriarch. "Lovely party Mr. Rockefeller."

"Thank you, Briar."

"It's Blair, pops." Odette murmurs, barely audible. Blair shoots her a look, shaking her head as if she was horrified that Odette would dare correct him. She could already hear her, _'If he says my name is Briar, guess what? It's now Briar.'_

"Of course, my apologies. Thank you, _Blair_." David offers her a small bow of his head in apology. "I hear you're hosting your own party very soon?"

Blair straightens her shoulders as a proud smile spreads across her face. She was always eager to boast about her achievements, "Yes, it's a party to raise money for the Giant Ibis Conservation. The American Bird Conservancy picks a different endangered bird each year and it's a cause I've always been very invested in. It was a cause close to my grand-père's heart and that's always stuck with me."

"...that's so important. So few kids your age have the drive to take on something as demanding as hosting an event of that size. I hear it's slated to be quite successful. For being your first year that is very impressive Blair." He turns his focus past where the two girls stand as he continues, "It's just too bad. My poor Coco is truly torn up over the fact she has to miss out on such a big moment."

Watching the exchange cautiously Odette's eyes narrow ever so slightly at her grandfather, "It's only for upperclassmen."

Turning his focus back to the girls he stares blankly at his grandaughter, "Right, but she tells me you're going?"

"Yes, well I-I," She stutters a bit, caught off guard by his bluntness, before continuing, "I take advanced classes though. My credits basically equate me to a junior."

"I know, you make me so proud." He pulls her hand to his lips and gives it a small kiss before looking to Blair, "I know the event is for you younger folks, and while I don't share your passion for the birds, I do share your drive and ambition. You don't see that much in your generation. So I would like to donate." He pulls out his personal checkbook and begins to write Blair the check right then and there. "Now I have dropped a pretty penny on this party I'm hosting today so I can't donate as much as I normally would like to but I would be willing to pledge, hm.. how does 1.4 million sound?" He scribbles his signature and looks up to gage the young brunettes' stunned expression.

Blair's mouth had all but hit the ground. The event was being hosted by a teenager for other elite teenagers, and admittance to the party was earned by donating to the cause. Most of the teens in attendance were trust fund babies, but they were only donating what little they wanted to spare. Two to three thousand here, maybe ten thousand there. But leave it to David Rockefeller to far exceed expectations. "Thank you so much, Mr. Rockefeller, that is truly so, _so_, generous." With his donation, Blair would officially be the most successful teen charity host of this season. Possibly of any season ever.

"It's not a problem dear like I said I'm happy to support ambition. You don't even have to list me as the donor, you can just put down Odette here." He gestures to his grandaughter with a small smile.

"That's very kind of you, but I've already made my donation." Odette clarifies as she twiddles a strand of her hair nervously.

"Oh..." David rubs at his bearded chin for a moment, "Oh! Well then here's a thought, why don't you just put it under my sweet Coco's name?" He stares at Blair knowingly.

_The truth finally comes out._

"Blair you don't-"

Blair is quick to cut Odette off, "Of course! Honestly, I was already having one of my assistants draw up her invite. It was just going to be a surprise."

"I'm glad to hear it. I need to get back to my guests now, but you both have a wonderful rest of your evenings. And Ms. Waldorf, thank you for having this conversation with me."

_'No, thank you!'_ Blair smiles cheekily, her dimples on full display, at the older man's retreating figure. She was on cloud nine.

Odette, on the other hand, was seething. Grandfather had always done this. He always bought them anything they wanted and had taught them that everything they desired was theirs for the taking. Or in this case the buying. Was there anything the Rockefeller's had gotten for themselves without throwing money around?

"B, you didn't have to cave to him like that."

"Don't be silly Dette, I seriously was already planning on inviting her. So it's a win-win."

Odette was rather positive that Blair was definitely_ not_ already planning on inviting Coco. But like Grandfather always said, everyone has a price.

* * *

To: Coco

From: Odette

_You had pops bribe your way into Blair's party? Seriously?_

To: Odette

From: Coco

_Chill. He's the one always telling us to go after the things we wa_nt.

To: Coco

From: Odette

_Yeah, Y-O-U go after it. Don't send him to do your dirty work._

To: Coco

From: Odette

_That was so mortifying Co_

To: Odette

From: Coco

_yeah I'm sure Blair really minded_

To: Coco

From: Odette

_So, NOT the point._

To: Odette

From: Coco

_I wanted to go to the party, I only mentioned it to pops in passing. I didn't know he would do that._

To: Coco

From: Odette

_Totally._

To: Odette

From: Coco

_You're really being a bitch right now so I'm gonna go._

To: Odette

From: Coco

_but FYI they're filming at the house._

Odette rolled her eyes at Coco's last text. As if her mood could get any worse. She so wasn't in the proper headspace to be roped into filming tonight but the party was wrapping up, Blair was going to be busy with Nate, and she needed some serious distance between her and Coco right now. She was short on options.

_Unless..._

_No._

_well, fuck it._

Collecting her things she doesn't even bother telling her grandfather goodbye as she makes her hasty escape out of the room and to the elevator. She was a woman on a mission. And that mission was to not be caught sneaking her way up to Chuck's suite. As deplorable as he could be, at least she could get high for free and sadly that was her best offer for the night.

* * *

_So, I had originally planned on having another school scene as well as the entire kiss on the lips party featured in this chapter but I checked my word count and, excluding the author's note, this chapter was already at 4,906 words. That's a **lot**... I didn't want to overwhelm you all much more than that so I'll just have to tack those onto the next chapter lol._

_Thanks again to anyone that's read this far and I hope you enjoyed it!_


	3. chapter two

_Here we are with chapter two(technically chapter three I guess..)! I wanted to post this way WAY sooner, but unfortunately, I got sick and it did delay my updating/writing schedule a bit. Then I ended up really going back and forth on a specific scene featured in this chapter. Mainly because I'm nervous about how it will be perceived... Hopefully, those who enjoy this character and her story will bear with me and trust that none of the 'issues' featured in this story are gratuitous._

_I want to start by saying thank you to those who reviewed: My absolute favorite person on this site right now, 'greyspaces', thank you times a billion for your always kind words! Without our talks, there's no way I would have had the courage to even post this story so I am forever grateful to you. And my 'guest' reviewers, your feedback is always welcomed and appreciated! Reviews aren't everything but they can be very encouraging, and they let me know what you(the readers) like and don't like with the story. So for those that take the time to do so, thank you._

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL ****USE**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

Odette had made it all the way into the elevator without being caught by anyone and was feeling particularly smug. It was an impressive feat for someone of her status who seemingly had the eyes of the entire world on her at all times. Well, maybe not the _entire_ world but the Upper East Side was like a world within a world and that was enough for her.

Her pride in this particular achievement would be fleeting, however.

At the very last moment, a hand caught the doors as they nearly slid shut.

_"Where are you hurrying off to?" _

She heard the voice before she saw who it was, but it didn't matter because she knew instantly who the man was.

"Stalking me now, are we?"

Readjusting his tie, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, Jordan enters the lift with her. Completely ignoring the fact she moves to stand as far away from him as possible. His eyes flicker to study the floor buttons, "You didn't answer my question." The answer was evident by which button was illuminated, but he wanted to make her say it.

Shifting her weight ever so slightly from one foot to the other she casually answers, "Yeah well, you didn't answer mine. And my family pays you, so I win."

He lets out a dark chuckle at her reasoning, "_Always_." It was true. As much as he liked to pretend he had an upper hand on her, due to their vastly different ages, she owned him. He was employed by David, sure, but she was always in her _'pops'_ ear. She could quite literally uproot his entire life if she wanted to. The thought of a teenager, and a bratty one at that, having _that_ much control over him and his life was unnerving, to say the least.

"Why are you following me?" She asks once more.

"The party was getting pretty dull, I saw you heading out and was curious where you were off to next. It is kind of my job to look after you, keep you out of _trouble_..."

The elevator chimes, signaling their arrival to the designated floor.

"Mm. And what a fantastic job you've done of that huh?" Odette turns to face him, her welkin blue eyes staring coldly into his own, "I'm going to hang out with some friends. Pretty in line with what sixteen-year-olds do." Breaking their long shared stare, she moves around him and exits the elevator. Before taking off she turns back to face him, "You should probably stop looking for _'trouble'_ and go home and be with your wife."

Jordan's lips are pressed firmly together as he watches her exit the lift, at her last comment he can't help but let out a small, unamused, laugh. Placing both his hands on either side of the elevator doors, he leans his body slightly out of the lift so he hovers a few feet over her small frame. "You're _only_ fifteen." he reminds her in the most condescending voice he can manage.

Odette was the heir to a wealthy family, Jordan was only a worker bee of said family. She held the power in that regard. However, Jordan was also more than twice her age, and much bigger than her in stature. When he positioned himself like this he looked down on her and she was forced to have to look up to him. It took the unspoke of _'power_' away from her.

"Yeah well, keep reminding yourself of that fact _Jordy_. I only said sixteen for your benefit. Thought it would make you feel a little better about yourself." She doesn't look up at him as she says this, and she doesn't elaborate further. She didn't need to. She knows her point is made as his hands drop from holding the doors open and he steps back into the elevator without saying anything further.

A couple of beats of silence pass before she hears him press a button. Looking up at him their eyes meet again, this time his stare is empty and she knows she's won this. At least for now. Before anything else can be said the doors slide shut once more and he's gone.

Odette can feel the sensation of tears beginning to form, not from sadness but frustration which made it worse in her mind. Pressing on the bottom of her eyes she lets out an exasperated sigh before pulling out her Zetran prescription and popping a small pill, knowing she needs to pull it together before showing up at Chuck's. He would never let her hear the end of it if she showed up at his door in tears.

* * *

_"I've gotta be honest B, kinda feels like you're giving us whiplash here."_

Blair had invited some of the girls to check out the location for the 'Kiss on the Lips' party with her.

After lots of consideration and debate, Blair had decided on a trendy new event center in the meatpacking district. The building had once been a meat processing factory but within the last few years, the owners of the Whitney Museum had purchased the aging building and completely renovated it. The exterior still matched all the surrounding buildings along the cobblestone road, but the inside had been refurbished into a posh industrial-themed space. Blair's upcoming party would be the first event hosted in the space since renovations had completed and truthfully, that was part of the appeal for Blair. She loved to be considered a trendsetter after all.

_"I mean one minute we hate Serena, then you said she was back in..." _

"Now we hate her again?" Iz finished Kati's initial thought, the two girls exchanging a look of concern.

Blair's back was to the girls so they couldn't see her rolling her eyes at the mere mention of her former BFF's name. She didn't want to even have to hear her name right now. The sound of it only made her think of Nate's revelation from the night before, and the thought of both their _perfect_ bodies intertwined together made her sick to her stomach.

"If you want to be friends with Serena, no one's stopping you. I choose not to be. And I also choose to surround myself," at this, she gestures to the small group surrounding her, "with people that aren't friends with her. So make your choice now, because the last thing I want is to give you _whiplash_."

Truthfully, Serena was a lot more fun, and far less cold. That was something all the girls could easily agree on. But Serena had left and in her absence, Blair had gained serious status. To go against Blair Waldorf was social suicide.

"Were with you B, always." Kati assures the domineering brunette with a small smile to which Iz only nods in agreement.

No one else said anything and the air was quickly growing thick with tension.

It wasn't Kati and Iz's fault at all, Blair knew that. She hadn't told any of them about what Serena had done. She wanted to, she wanted someone to comfort her. But she couldn't. To have to admit that Nate, _her perfect boyfriend_, had cheated on her was too much for her to even process. She really couldn't handle the judgment of the other girls as well.

Odette had remained particularly silent during the entire exchange, but she knew a change of subject was desperately needed.

"This place is incredible Blair." Walking up to the brunette she drapes an arm loosely around her shoulders before squealing into her ear, "The girls from Chapin are going to die of jealousy!"

A smile cracks Blair's hard features before she bursts into a fit of giggles, "Like I care what those little bitches think." She teasingly shoved Odette off her, all the girls laughing now.

Odette feels Blair take her hand and give it a slight squeeze as if to acknowledge her appreciation that she broke the ice for her.

"I honestly hadn't even thought of the Chapin girls at all..."

It was a complete lie and they all knew it.

Blair had a long-standing rivalry with Chapin's Queen Bee, Aspen Holloway. Both girls were constantly vying for that main status as the teen queen of the Upper East Side. Blair held the crown for now, but this was always subject to change. Which is why Blair was always looking to be the best and outdo. This party would definitely do it. Thanks to David Rockefellers' _little_ contribution, she had far exceeded her projected donations goal. And she also had scored this killer space.

"I think as long as everything goes as planned the night should be...magical. A night to remember for sure." Blair looked around in awe, her eyes twinkling as she imagined how the party would play out.

"Have you shown Nate yet?" Iz asks offhandedly as she sits down beside Kati on one of the staircases.

Blair noticeably flinches at the mention of her boyfriend. The light in her eyes fading ever so slightly as she replies, "This kind of stuff bores him. All he knows is to show up, look dapper, and not get too wasted." Blair forces a small laugh at the end to which the other two girls laugh as well.

Odette says nothing but smiles kindly to her friend. Kati and Iz may be completely unaware of the current devastation to Blair's life, but Odette wasn't quite as fortunate. Oblivion could truly be bliss...

Blair hadn't told her yet, she hadn't told anyone. But Odette didn't need her to.

_'There was something about children reared on the Upper East Side. They never seemed to stay children for long. When your parents are that wealthy, typically being a workaholic was only a given. Money like that wasn't easy to come by, and it was even harder to keep. Such was the case for Bart Bass. Sure, he had built a mega-fortune with Bass Industries but he was all work, little play. He was still putting in eighty hours a week into his work. Whether that be through regular office hours, networking events, or traveling abroad for global expansions, etc. This left Chuck, often, to his own devices._

_It didn't take Bart long to realize Chuck was taking full advantage of having the Bass's lavish penthouse to himself. Parties, smoke sessions, and prostitutes were a regular, if not daily, occurrence. Much to Bart's chagrin, the home was quickly starting to feel more like that of a frat house._

_The summer before Chuck's sophomore year Bart gifted him his own personal suite. A place that every daughters father should fear, where debauchery and drugs reigned supreme. But most importantly, located in an entirely different building, it kept Chuck and his wrongdoings out of Bart's way._

_Tonight, the atmosphere of Chuck's suite was pretty informal. _

_There was hardly ever a time Chuck didn't have at least one person over. In fact, if anyone ever cared enough to pay attention they would realize Chuck had an inherent desire to never be left fully alone. He craved the socialization and constant company, even if it meant buying his companions. But tonight, in lieu of a party, he had only managed to get a few of his and Nate's buddies to come by, and surprisingly Odette had taken him up on his offer._

_The four boys, and Odette, were lounged out amongst the various furniture in the open living area. They were passing around an intricate bong as the boys took turns facing each other in some video game that Odette had little interest in. _

_Truthfully, she was bored. But, sitting around here doing nothing still beat being home. _

_'Pathetic.' _

_As the guys started to fight over whose turn it was for what felt like the hundredth time Odette pushed herself up off the armchair and walked over to the bar. _

_Chuck had so many choices of alcohol, more specifically liquor, it was almost overwhelming. Taking a crystal glass she begins to generously pour herself some Tito's._

_"Hm, I would have taken you for more of a 'Vavoom' girl?"_

_Looking over her shoulder Odette's surprised to see Nate walking towards her. She hadn't even heard him arrive. _

_"Just because it's cheap doesn't make it bad. Still does the trick." Taking a quick chug, a slight shiver rolls through her body as she places the empty glass down again. "I really prefer to end my nights with a nice glass of Dom, but we make do with what's offered. What are you doing here anyway? I thought Blair had some big night planned?" _

_While Nate chuckled at her logic, as he heard her question his demeanor completely shifted. "Didn't go quite as she planned..." Reaching for another glass he takes the Tito's bottle and fills both their glasses. "What about you? I haven't seen you around here in a while." He raises an eyebrow at her knowingly._

_It was true. This time, last year, Odette spent pretty much all her free time in this very suite. But things change and now, she practically avoided this place at all costs. Tonight only being an exception due to circumstance._

_Looking at Nate she gives him a small shrug and lifts her glass to him. _

_Hearing the sound of glasses clinking together Chuck turns his focus from the game he was currently in to see Nate and Odette take a double shot together. _

_"Bass, focus!" _

_Feeling one of his friends shove him brought Chuck's attention back. But, only slightly. "Nathanial, come take a hit. You can get greens." After years of friendship, Chuck knew the way to Nate's heart was most definitely the first hit of primo weed. _

_"In a minute." Nate casts a nod to Chuck before turning back to Odette, "Want another?" _

_"Nathanial Archibald. If I didn't know any better I'd think you're trying to get me drunk?" Odette feigns judgment but offers her glass to him nonetheless. _

_"No, I'm trying to get me drunk." Nate laughs a little as he pours them both slightly more than he had the time before, "But I won't complain about having your company." _

_'Don't get involved.' _

_"Things with Blair went that bad?" _

_In the midst of an intense battle, Chuck wouldn't dare tear his eyes from the screen but he was still somewhat distracted by the sound of Nate and Odette chit-chatting away. _

_"You could say that." Nate knew he was probably saying more than he should, but his revelation to Blair had left him feeling pretty numb. Too much so to care that he shouldn't be talking to her best friend about any of this. _

_Besides, Odette was his friend too. And technically, due to their grandfather's longstanding friendship, he had been her friend much longer. _

_Before either of them can say anything they are interrupted by Chuck once again, "Nathanial, stop getting drunk with Blair's friend." 'Especially off my alcohol.' "That's the kind of stuff that got you into this predicament in the first place." _

_Of course, after leaving Blair's, Nate had texted Chuck and gave him a quick play-by-play of what had gone down. He was, after all, his closest friend. But he hadn't expected Chuck to put him on blast for it in front of everyone. Because, again, he was his closest friend. _

_Nate was never one to cause a scene though. It's the way he was raised. Despite being rather annoyed he turns away from Odette, leaving both their drinks on the bar, and goes to sit beside Chuck, "I've got winner." _

_Odette eyed Nate cautiously as he moved across the room to sit on the couch. She wasn't sure how to take what Chuck had said. Obviously she knew what was being implied, but she was also fairly certain she wasn't meant to have this knowledge. Knowing Blair the way she did, she knew her MO by now; she would most definitely rather deny it all to herself than have to admit that her 'perfect' relationship wasn't so perfect after all. '_

The day after Chuck's revelation about Nate Blair had texted Odette in a frenzy explaining that Serena was once again exiled from the group. It didn't take long for Odette to put two and two together. Obviously, something had gone down between Nate and Serena and she could only imagine how devastated Blair was over the entire situation.

After a few more moments of awkward silence have passed Iz finally speaks up once more, "I'm sure the party will be a huge hit, Blair."

"Well, duh." Blair comments back matter-of-factly as she tosses her lush hair over her shoulder, turning sharply on her heel to continue her inspection of the space.

Blair was never one to accept defeat and this entire situation, while not ideal, was still no exception. She glances down to her gold wristwatch, "Sorry girls, but I've got to get going. Nate's taking me for a sushi date."

It was taking everything in her for Odette to keep a neutral face at this particular revelation. She wasn't sure if Blair was being truthful or if this was her attempt at keeping a false sense of appearances for the girl's sake. But if it was the later, she really sort of pitied Blair. Nate cheating is something that would be easily earth-shattering to Blair, and she couldn't talk to any of her 'friends' about it because she was so obsessed with keeping appearances up.

"Yum! You're so lucky B." Odette smiles to her kindly as she makes her way to the door. If Blair wanted to live in a state of delusion that was her business. Who was she to try to complicate things with bringing up her knowledge of such a cruel reality?

* * *

The rest of the school week had gone relatively smooth. Odette had filled most of her time helping distract Blair from her unspoken _'problem'_ by helping with the finishing details for the party. Not that Blair really seemed to need her help, on either front.

Things with her and Nate seemed completely normal. If anything he was slightly _more_ doting than normal. And at the ripe age of sixteen Blair was already an expert in the art of event hosting. She had planned out every last, meticulous, detail and her vision was coming to perfect fruition. The hallways at school had been filled with a buzz of people discussing the party. Most were excited, but there were, of course, the expected few haters as well.

People didn't necessarily love Blair, they loved what she had to offer. There were certainly a few girls that wouldn't hesitate, if the opportunity presented itself, to knock Blair off her pedestal, and there were even more that would relish in watching her downfall.

Blair knew this, better than anyone. Which is why she kept her inner circle so tight. The girls she surrounded herself with might not be the _truest_ friends but they were beta females who desperately needed someone to follow, and she knew she never needed to worry about them trying to take her down. They also feared her so the idea of a Judas level betrayal was far from her mind. Except, ever since she found out about Serena and Nate she found herself increasingly more suspicious of almost everyone. She'd quickly remind herself how ridiculous she was being, but the paranoia was still there.

The only paranoia Odette was currently facing was over her newest Dolce dress. It was nowhere to be found.

Her room looked as though a hurricane had blown through it. Almost her entire closet's contents could be found thrown variously around the room. Tossing a fuschia Caroline Herrera cocktail dress over her shoulder she yells out, "Lucy! Did you send my new Dolce dress to the cleaners or something?"

Odette continues to sift through a pile of clothes as her bedroom door is opened and she hears someone walk in. "Lucy, did you send my new Dolce dre-" Looking up as she repeats her earlier question to the family's housekeeper, she stops mid-sentence and rolls her eyes as her mother stands before her instead. Signature wine glass in hand. "Oh, it's you. What?"

She knew she wasn't being kind to her mother, but their relationship wasn't really one built on love and respect.

Anika Stepanov was a busty blonde of around 40, who wore clothes that looked better suited for someone her daughters' age...and size. She had that look about her, where it was clear she was a beauty in her younger years but the years of smoking, drinking, and botox had done quite the number on her. Despite that, she was vain and she lacked serious maternal instinct. She was also easily the tackiest woman that resided on the Upper East Side.

Anika had convinced herself that she was well-liked. She was married into the Rockefeller family, while only formerly she still let no one forget it, and she had been on the main cast of Bravo's most popular branch of reality television for the past eight years. In her mind what was not to like and envy?

But behind closed doors, computer screens, and her back, Anika was a laughing stock to almost anyone that knew her. A punchline to jokes told at Rockefeller family functions, in front of her children, at her ex-husband's expense. She had also been barred from joining any high society lady groups. They all used the excuse of not wanting their social club associated with reality television, but everyone knew the real reason no one wanted her. Anika Stepanov was a joke that no one respected, and that had rubbed off on her eldest daughter through the years.

"What do you want Mother?" Odette asks once more through almost clenched teeth.

"I could hear you fussing downstairs."

Odette can't help but cringe at her mothers' accent.

Despite living stateside for over two decades Anika had still retained a rather obvious Russian accent. Odette had absolutely loved it when she was a kid. She would imagine Anika was some type of international spy, and that all the time she spent away from home was due to top-secret missions. But as Odette got older, her imagination faded, and she was left to realize that Anika was actually just a shitty absentee mother.

And from there, Anika's accent only became yet another thing that embarrassed Odette about her mother.

Closing Odette's bedroom door, Anika moves to sit at her daughters' desk chair, "You always were a fussy little thing, even as a baby."

_'How would you know?' _

"I wasn't calling for you, I was calling Lucy. I can't find my dress I was hoping she might know where it ended up."

Anika watches her daughter push her walnut toned hair back in frustration before lightly chewing at one of her nails. It was a nervous tick of hers even as a child. "I gave Lucy the night off. But you have plenty of beautiful dresses here."

Odette doesn't say anything in response. She didn't expect her mother to understand, she never understood anything. She steps out of the satin slip dress she was wearing and reaches for another to try on.

"You aren't going alone, tonight right? You have a date don't you?"

Anika's main goal in life, at Odette's age, was to come to America and be a trophy wife. Sadly, that appeared to be her sole expectation of her daughters as well.

"Sure, if you qualify Coco as a date." Odette smirks to her mother in her floor-length mirror as she pulls her slender body through a simple, black, Balmain dress. As her mother moves to help her zip the back of her dress, Odette shoos her hand away before zipping herself up with ease. The point was always clear, she _didn't_ need her help.

"Your sister does not count as a date. Besides, she already left a half-hour ago with international barbie one and two."

Odettes head snaps to her mother, a look of disgust plain on her face, "That's an inappropriate comment mother. I'd call you soviet barbie, but that would be," her eyes scan the older woman up and down, "a bit ambitious."

Her mother rolls her eyes, waving a nonchalant hand at her as she takes a long gulp from her glass. Anika was blissfully unaware of people's opinions of her, therefore hardly noticed when someone was trying to degrade her.

"Coco really left though?" It was annoying but with the way the sisters had been fighting all week it was hardly surprising.

"Yes, but don't give her a hard time. She was really excited to ride in that Bass boys limo."

At this Odette lets out a deep chortle, "Oh, that's not the only thing of his she's eager to ride mother."

Despite the rather raunchy joke, Anika has little reaction. She was hardly modest herself, therefore it wasn't something she enforced much with her daughters. In fact, she almost preferred them to talk to her like they would their friends, she hoped it might help them bond. "Well, I suppose it's a good thing I have both you girls on birth control then."

At this Odette's face noticeably twists in disgust. It wasn't uncommon for her mother to talk with them about sex. Her mother had a very _laissez-faire _attitude about sex and morality as a whole, and honestly, normally it wouldn't phase Odette but the thought of Chuck bedding her baby sister formed a deep pit in her stomach.

Suddenly Anika begins to stroke her daughter's hair, eyes full of adoration but it was probably the wine talking, "You look beautiful, Dee."

Odette's entire stature goes stiff as her mother plays with her hair. It had been a while since she had received a compliment from Anika. Not that it mattered though, because compliments from her mother didn't carry much weight and therefore didn't mean entirely much to her. But, still.

"Sure."

It was a curt, cold, reply but Anika didn't expect much else from her. "Should I call one of the drivers for you then?"

* * *

_"What a bitch." _

Blair stifles a laugh by taking a deep drink from her glass of champagne before adding, "I mean no offense or anything."

"Honestly, I don't know what has crawled up Coco's ass recently." Odette doesn't bother looking up as she continues to scroll through Instagram. Most of her feed was filled with pictures of everyone already at the party. Blair, Nate, and Odette were arriving _fashionably late_, so that Blair could make a grand entrance. It was kind of _her_ _thing_.

Instead of calling a driver Odette had opted to call Blair and ask if she could ride over to the event with her and Nate. Blair had eagerly accepted, which had somewhat surprised Odette. But now she could certainly understand Blair's insistence. Nate and Blair had hardly said two words to each other since Odette had joined them.

Unless Odette started the conversation, neither counterparts would say anything and the trio would be left with uncomfortable moments of silence. Blair and Nate never seemed to have much to say to one another before, but considering what Odette knew now made it seem all the more strange.

As she aimlessly scrolled through all the recent posts on her newsfeed she stops on one post in specific and lets out an audible gasp from deep within her. "Look at this!" Without thinking, Odette shoves her phone screen past Blair and into Nate's hands.

Nate grabs the phone from her, a confused look plain on his face as he takes a drag from his joint. But the smoke he attempts to exhale hitches in his throat causing him to break out into a barking cough as his eyes settle on the video playing out before him.

Watching the exchange through narrowed eyes Blair felt a twinge of jealously growing within her. She knew Nate and Odette had somewhat of a friendship, but not enough so that Odette would choose to share something with him first over her? She definitely didn't feel like starting this fight right now though, so instead, she leans her head on Nate's broad shoulders and peers down at the phone screen to see what all the fuss is about. Once it all clicks, her mouth falls open, "He's heinous."

Chuck had posted a video of himself at the party. The video started with a wide panning shot of the crowd as an O.T Genesis song plays loudly in the background. The camera flips to show Chuck sporting a devilish smirk and reveals Coco grinding against him. The video cuts off just as Coco bursts into a fit of giggles, turning away from the camera and burying her head into Chuck's neck. The caption, _ever so_ _cleverly_ quoting the song playing in the background, 'I'm in love with the coco'.

Having watched the looped videos a few times now, Nate and Blair both look at Odette in an attempt to gauge her reaction. Despite her initial response, she now seemed almost _too_ calm, too quiet. Her silence was concerning.

There were two big reasons as to why this would be upsetting to Odette.

One, she was, for the most part, incredibly protective of her little sister. Two, anyone that was semi-close to the group knew something weird had gone down between Chuck and Odette last year. They weren't entirely sure what, and no one dared ask or talk about it now. But this latest move by Chuck was sure to add fire to that already high flame.

"I'm going to kill him."

* * *

_Uh oh, they say 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' but what about when that woman is a big sister? In canon-verse, Dan punched Chuck for creeping on his little sister, so what do you think Odette will do when she sees him?_

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you think! And I'll be updating the next chapter within this next week, I promise. _


	4. chapter three

_I'm just going to stop giving myself deadlines. Or at least, stop telling you all about them. Writing is so hard, especially when real life never stops. _

_I was beyond elated to see the number of favorites and follows that were gained since my last update. I realize it can be difficult to get invested in a story about an original character placed in an already existing world that we all love, but I really am trying to make her addition seem somewhat seamless(it's like she was always meant to be there, right lol?), and reading about her enjoyable(note: she won't always be likable, but hopefully at least interesting) So, thank you to those continuing to read on. _

_A huge shoutout and thank you to the *literal* S to my B, greyspaces. I wouldn't be writing and publishing this story if it weren't for you! Thank you times a million for not only inspiring me but also always giving me wonderful feedback! And thank you to my guest reviewer as well, very kind of you to take the time to tell me what you think :)_

_As I always say, reviews aren't everything. BUT, they are very (wanted)welcomed. Just saying..._

* * *

**WARNING:**

**SEXUAL SITUATIONS, LANGUAGE, AND DRUG, AND ALCOHOL ****USE**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

_"Most people were raised to believe they are just as good as the next person. I was always told I was better."_

* * *

She was a woman on the verge...

For the remainder of the drive, Odette had played Chuck's stupid video over and over again, on loop. With each watch, her anger grew to the point she was almost certain she had steam rising from her ears. But once they arrived at the venue she knew she had to play it cool. She didn't want Chuck or Coco to know what was coming for them. She didn't know who she might run into first, but for their sake, they both better hope it was the other.

The party was already in full swing, and the place was packed. Everyone that was anyone in teen high society was here, drinking and dancing the night away. Blair had quickly taken to making her rounds, greeting each of her guest. Nate was, of course, was expected to stick by her side, flash his ever-charming smile, make small talk with the other boyfriends, and basically do whatever Blair asked of him. Nate had been on Blair's arm for enough of these events by now to know what was expected of him, but it didn't make it any less of a drag.

_"Right, honey?"_

Nate is pulled from his thoughts and met by the stares of slightly familiar, yet nameless, people all eagerly anticipating an answer to a question he hadn't even heard in the first place.

Blair forces a tight grin as she discreetly pinches down on Nate's arm, "We loved that new place that opened on the west side, right?"

They hadn't been to that place yet, but Nate knew Blair too well. He knew what she wanted, and with her tense pinch on the skin of his arm who was he to deny her. "Yeah, their foie gras and onion chutney are the best around."

"Yeah, I read that somewhere.." remarked one of the girls, nodding to the rest of the group.

Pleased enough with this answer Blair lets go of Nate, "The chef is a close family friend, so if you have trouble getting in again please don't hesitate to let us know."

The chef most certainly wasn't a family friend but Blair knew she didn't need to worry about her lie being exposed. For them to realize she was lying would mean they would need to ask her for the favor of getting them into the new hotspot. Doing so would mean acknowledging that Blair was of higher importance, socially, then them. And these girls would never accept that kind of blow to their overly inflated egos.

As the group carries on with their vapid discussions Nate is sure to try to somewhat follow along this time, as to avoid another pinch from an irate Blair. But if he was going to make it through the night he would definitely need to sneak off with Chuck at some point for a quick smoke. _'Speaking of...'_ He quickly begins to scan the room, curious if Odette had caught up to him yet. She had made him swear to not warn Chuck. Sure, the guy was his best friend but even Nate was a little eager to see Chuck get what he deserved. Everyone knows to not mess with someone's sister. Everyone but Chuck Bass that is.

_"Odette, hey!"_

_"That dress? Love..."_

_"Let's do a shot. Oh..okay, maybe later?"_

Odette smiled, as much as she could, and nodded in greeting to each passerby but she didn't stop to properly talk to anyone. She needed a drink, or three, desperately but she refused to stop and enjoy herself until she took care of this problem.

_"Swan..."_

Looking over her shoulder to where she heard his voice come from she doesn't see him at first, but out of the corner of her eye, she spots a figure move around her. Turning forward once more she sees Chuck now perfectly blocking her previous path. _'Idiot.' _If he knew what was good for him he'd be avoiding her at all costs. But he obviously couldn't resist the chance to mock her with that _stupid_ nickname.

"You look..." He pauses for a moment as his eyes scan up and down her body, admiring how the fabric of her dress clung to all the right areas, before finishing his initial thought almost somewhat breathlessly, "exquisite."

Odette's face remains completely stone-cold. There was a time in which hearing something like that from him would have had her weak in the knees, but by now she knew better. Chuck didn't have a genuine bone in his body. His compliments meant nothing and were only ever used as a tool to get him something he wanted. Typically, getting his dick wet in some way or another was the only end goal. But she had other things in mind for him. As much as she would prefer to throw him a nasty jeer, and rip him a new one. She knew she had to be smarter. Chuck was a lot of things, but he wasn't dumb. If she was going to make her point to him, she needed to speak his language.

"Thank you."

Chuck chews lightly on his inner lip as he watches her practically bat her eyes at him. Her smile was innocent, but her eyes had clearly devious intent. It had been a while since he'd seen her look at him like this, which made him all the more suspicious, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." Shrugging she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in and whispering to him, "do you wanna maybe go do a line?"

Chuckling, he pulls back a bit eyebrows raised at her, "Uh... you serious?"

Odette only nods to him before quickly adding, "Somewhere a little more private though."

Chuck rubs at his chin for a moment, debating if this is something he should let her do. He had always felt somewhat shitty introducing her to it in the first place. But, this was also guaranteed alone time with her which he hadn't had in a _really_ long time. "Follow me."

As he leads the way through the boisterous crowd she follows him, staring daggers into the back of his well-groomed head.

After dodging hoards of dancing, wasted, teens they finally reach the bathroom. "After you." He smirks to her as he pushes the door open.

_'Classy.'_

There were several girls planted in front of the various bathroom mirrors. Some were touching up their makeup, others were snorting their own lines, and the rest were gossiping with their girlfriends. The first few stalls were all clearly preoccupied, and by the sounds emitting from them, it was clear they were being used for more than their intended purpose. Judging by the staredowns she was receiving from the other girls it was clear everyone thought she had brought Chuck here for the same reason.

Ignoring the stares and little inaudible comments that were being made at her expense she walks to the very back of the bathroom and opens the handicapped stall just enough for her and Chuck to squeeze in. She's sure to lock it behind her before turning to face Chuck with a small smile. His usually dark eyes have a small spark in them and he shifts back and forth in place, excited and, possibly a little nervous. He reaches into his suit jacket and pulls a small glass vial out. He rolls it between his fingers, his grin deepening, before presenting it to her.

Taking the container from him she turns it up and down a few times watching the compact powder moving inside, "Laced you think?"

"Honestly, probably."

"Well, then you go first." Still holding the vial in one hand she begins to pull the top of her strapless dress down her upper body.

Chuck is immediately taken back by this sudden turn of events.

Seeing his surprised reaction Odette arches an eyebrow at him before opening the vial and beginning to spill some of the powdered substance across her chest. "Just like old times right?"

Forcing his eyes away Chuck laughs somewhat nervously. This wasn't his first time seeing her like this, far from it, but it had been a _very_ long time and he wasn't sure where this was all suddenly coming from. His eyes drift back to her. Her breast had grown significantly since the last time he had seen them, they were basically busting out of her underwire bra. Her nipples were poking through the sheer lace, fully hard and begging for his attention. Now forcing himself to look up at the ceiling he shifts his weight from one foot to another once more, this time in an attempt to alleviate the sudden discomfort he felt as his partial erection grows against his already form-fitting pants. Instead of thinking over the many '_why's?'_ of the situation further, Chuck surrenders to his nature and closes the distance between them.

Feeling Chuck's hands wrap around her waist Odette swallows hard as she tries to let the moment build before going for her kill. As Chuck leans down to begin Odette can feel his warm, shallow, breathing against her. Just as she can feel his nose begin to graze her exposed skin she reaches out and grabs him by the shoulders. Before he can object or even process what's happening she pushes him back across the large stall until he's seated on the toilet. She never removes her hands from his shoulders, it was a small trick she had learned as a way to keep dominance.

"What the fuck?! You owe me for that coke!" He attempts to stand up but Odette only pushes down harder on him.

"You'll live. But I can't say the same if you keep creeping on my baby sister."

Chuck stares at her in bewilderment, "I see, so you were a cock tease who wasted perfectly good yayo because you were upset about my little video with Coco? And now, you're threatening to kill me."

His tone of voice made it sound like she was crazy, but she wasn't. It wasn't crazy for her to not want Chuck to hook up with her sister. The whole thing really skeeved her out. "Don't gaslight me, I'm being serious Chuck. I, of all people, know how you are. Don't mess around with Cort."

"Clearly. I mean you're holding me hostage in a public toilet." There wasn't enough detergent in the world to clean the germs from a bare toilet seat off his Armani pants. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down he continues, "Look, Swan, you can hold your threats. I hear you loud and clear. Coco is _off-limits_."

Odette releases her grip on him and takes a step back, "Seriously? I wasn't expecting you to be that easy."

"Yeah, scout's honor." Rolling his eyes Chuck stands up and begins to readjust his suit jacket, "I'm not. Not in that aspect at least." He quickly clarifies, "If I actually wanted Coco I wouldn't care what you have to say or think about it. I'd go for her. But, I don't so...no worries _big sis_." There was slightly more to it than that, but he didn't feel like getting into it. "I can't believe that's what this was all about." He lets out an exasperated laugh, "You could have just told me that Odette. Saved me the coke and blue balls." Chuck shakes his head as he takes the vial back from her and dust a line out onto his thumb before quickly snorting it. "You wanna..." he gestures to her clad upper body, "So we can get back to the party?"

Despite initially thinking this was the best way to corner him she suddenly felt incredibly exposed. Turning away from him she begins to pull her dress back up into place.

"What was your big plan with all this anyway?" Chuck finally asks as he holds the stall door open for her.

Odette dusts the remaining white residue from her cleavage that was still visible in the dress, "Remind you how much..._fun_, we used to have."

"We did." Chuck nods in agreement turning to face her. They've stopped walking at this point.

"...and then point out that if you ever did anything with my little sister, nothing could ever happen _here_ again." she gestures between the two of them.

Chuck's brows furrow together as he frowns, "I wasn't aware that was even still on the table?"

"Well," She could feel a lump growing in her throat and knew she needed to get out of the close proximity she was currently sharing with him, "I didn't say it was. But if you start hooking up with Coco, it absolutely won't be." Before he can respond further Odette turns on her heel and quickly walks out of the bathroom. She was thankful for the sudden influx of people entering the room because the sound of Chuck calling after her was drowned out by their conversations.

Upon exiting the bathroom her eyes dart around the room in search of the bar.

_"Wow, you look like you could use a drink."_

"Oh my gosh, Nate! I have never been so thankful to see your face." Odette quickly clings to his arm, "Please get me drunk?"

Nate looked over his shoulder to see Blair talking with some girls from Trinity. She usually didn't want Nate to leave her side at events like these, but she looked pretty caught up in her conversation and probably wouldn't notice he was gone for awhile... He looks back at Odette, her pale cerulean eyes were pleading with him.

"I would be honored."

* * *

_"Do you remember that time when..."_

With the more alcohol she shot down her throat, thoughts of what an absolute fool she had made herself to be in front of Chuck dissipated from her mind. And even though a rather large and loud party was happening around them Nate and Odette were completely lost in their own world, laughing about old memories. It was in moments like this that she was most thankful for Nate Archibald. As upset as she had been, in just a half-hour he had managed to make her momentarily forget it all. There was something sort of special about someone that could have that effect on you.

She was now laughing so hard her stomach was beginning to hurt, "That was _so_ you're fault, and I got in so much trouble for it!"

"Oh please, like you ever got in trouble! It was always me. You used to tell on me for _every_ little thing. I'm pretty sure I still have a scar on my ass from The Captain's belt thanks to you."

Odette covers her mouth at this revelation before reaching out to rub Nate's shoulder, "That's terrible, I was such a brat. You should hate me."

"Never." Nate laughs raising his glass to his lips to take a quick drink.

"You know, we've really got to stop only hanging out under these pretenses." Odette clinks her own glass against his, clearly referencing the other night at Chuck's.

"I'm sure Blair would _love_ that."

Odette lets out an awkward laugh, "I mean, I think Blair knows she can trust me?" Though to be fair, she probably thought the same about Serena.

"I don't think Blair trusts anyone right now." _'Least of all me' _Nate didn't need to explicitly say it, but his suddenly dejected demeanor said it all.

She didn't have good advice for him, unfortunately. At least Blair was giving him a second chance. But it was almost like he didn't really care for one. If he was really content in his relationship wouldn't he be off making _her_ laugh instead of here with Odette? Come to think of it, Odette wasn't sure she had ever seen Blair and Nate laugh the way that him and her do.

"So, not like I'm trying to pry but what exactly happened with you and Blair?" It didn't matter that she wasn't trying to pry, she was. Her curiosity was getting the better of her. She knew certain, obvious, details. But that wasn't enough to put together the full story.

"Serena?"

"Well, yeah I've gathered that much..."

"No, no. Serena, she's here."

At this point, Nate is completely transfixed and staring far beyond where Odette stands before him. Following his eyes, Odette looks across the room and sure enough, there's Serena.

She wasn't hard to miss.

Amongst the group of formally dressed teens, she definitely stood out sporting only rather casual street clothes. Despite this, she still managed to outshine the majority of the girls here. The 5' 10" blonde effortlessly commanded the attention of the room without even trying. Just by showing up and being _'Serena van der Woodsen'_ she stole the complete spotlight. It didn't bother, or interest, Odette much. But others were downright threatened. And the glares Blair was shooting Serena's way said it all.

As Nate pushes away from the bar and begins to walk towards the entrance, conveniently where Serena is, Odette reaches out and takes his hand. "Make smart choices." She cracks a smile and gives his hand a faint squeeze, hoping he'll heed her advice. Nate may have made some dumb decisions, but she knew he was a good guy at heart. Unfortunately, she wasn't so sure Blair would see it that way.

Watching from a safe distance, she can see Blair tug on Nate's arm and begin to tell him something. She can't quite read her lips but can tell from the crazy eyes she was flashing that it wasn't good. After a moment he pulls himself loose of Blair's grip and walks to the door, past Serena, and out of the building. Shaking her head in dismay, Odette finishes the rest of her drink before leaving the bar area in search of something more interesting than the Blair/Nate/Serena fiasco.

Walking amongst the crowd she suddenly feels someone's shoulder roughly knock against her own, "Excuse you?" She moves to shove the person from behind but recognizes him before she can follow through with it, "Dan? What are _you_ doing here?" She hadn't meant that to sound quite as harsh as it did. But she was one of the few people in their entire class to even know his name so she was surprised to see him at an event of this caliber. There was frankly no way he was invited.

Hearing his name said aloud, amongst this particular crowd, was pretty foreign to him. Typically he was only ever referred to as _'hey, you', 'guy', _or the occasional but always condescending '_buddy_'. But he had clearly just heard someone say _'Dan'_. Turning around he can't help but grimace as he spots a familiar face, "Curb your enthusiasm, Odette. I'm just looking for my sister."

"I didn't mean it like that. I also didn't know you had a sister?" _'Especially one that could be invited here...' _She could think it, but she didn't dare say it. Dan had a certain look in his eye that made her not want to push him too much. He didn't look quite as homely and pathetic as usual. Which was, alarming to say the very least.

Before bothering to answer her Dan swiftly turns back around and heads off in further search of Jenny. If Odette didn't even know he had a sister he couldn't waste any more time talking to her.

It shouldn't surprise him. He wasn't a newcomer to this world anymore and was not nearly as naive as his little sister could be. He knew these people didn't care about him, they were only ever looking out for themselves. But unlike with the others who didn't know him, Odette _did_. Kind of. They had been in the same journalism class for the past two years. They also both worked together on Constance Billard and St. Judes' shared newspaper. But apparently that wasn't enough to warrant him being worth her recalling even the most basic facts about him.

"I have told you about _both_ of my sisters actually."

"You have...?" Odette pauses for a moment racking her brain for anything that might jog her memory.

"Yeah, it was one of the icebreaker questionnaires we had to do for journalism. Both years."

Judging by the flicker of recognition in her eyes Dan can tell this sparked something in Odette.

"That's right, Jenny Humphrey is your little sister. And you have an older sister too... she lives in." At this Odette pauses again, "She lives somewhere. Jackie right?"

Closing his eyes Dan sighs before correcting her, "Mackenzie. But look none of this really matters right now, I need to find Jenny."

"Well, maybe I can help?" Odette trails quickly behind him. She didn't know much about Dan, but she could certainly understand being a concerned older sibling.

Dan doesn't bother to stop walking this time, he couldn't afford to lose more time on Odette. "She texted me she's having issues with some girl Molly?"

Odette stops in her tracks, ignoring Dan's groans as she pulls on his arm to get him to stop moving, "Molly Littrel or Molly Deigh? Molly who?"

As annoyed as he was that she kept slowing him down he also was smart enough to know that having her work with him was probably in his, and therefore Jenny's, best interest. He didn't even know who Molly Littel or Molly Deigh were, but she clearly did. Odette was better liked than himself and she knew most, if not everyone, at this party. At least one of those people had to know where to find Jenny or this Molly girl. "She didn't really clarify, look." He presents his phone to her, the 'SOS' text from Jenny already pulled up on the screen.

_To: Dan_

_From: Jenny_

_pls come help. having major issues w/ molly_

Scanning over the text a couple times for good measure Odette attempts to fight the grin spreading across her face, "Oh, Daniel. You have much to learn. Your sister isn't having issues with a girl. She's _obviously_ rolling hard and if it's her first time, she's probably freaked out."

"This is funny to you?"

"Eh." Odette shrugs moving around him. "But it's definitely not as serious as you're making it out to be."

This time it's Dan's turn to reach out and grab her wrist. With a swift tug, he pulls her back around to face him, "Yeah, hello? Hi. You just told me that my fourteen-year-old sister, who has never done drugs in her life, is high on ecstasy. You don't get to just walk away now."

"Newsflash Daren the lion, nobody is '_D.A.R.E-ing_' to be drug-free anymore. Everyone at this party is drunk or high off something. It's not exactly revelatory by any means, so just relax." Taking a deep breath she continues, "Release my arm now and _maybe_ I'll try to help you find your _junkie_ sister." Noting the death stare Dan was giving her she quickly adds, "Joking, that was a joke Dan."

With a clenched jaw, Dan says nothing more but he does let go of her. He gestures for her to lead the way before following her further into the crowd of their peers in search of Jenny.

* * *

**ʜᴇʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ!**

ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ '_ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ'_, ʙᴜᴛ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜᴇs ᴛʀᴜsᴛ ғᴜɴᴅ ʙᴀʙɪᴇs. ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅʀᴜɢ ᴄᴏɴsᴜᴍᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴇʟɪᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜᴛʜ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀɴ ᴀʟʟ-ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜs, ʜɪɢʜ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴜᴅɢᴇ? ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍᴏᴍᴍɪᴇs' ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀᴅᴅɪᴇs' ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴀᴍᴇx ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴜᴛ ʟɪɴᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴇʀᴏɢᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ, ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ...

ғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴇs_ ʏᴏᴜ_ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ, ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀsʜᴀᴅᴏᴡᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴅɪsᴘʟᴀʏ.

ɪs ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ɪᴛ ɢᴇᴛs ᴄʀᴀsʜᴇᴅ? ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀsᴋ ʙʟᴀɪʀ ᴡᴀʟᴅᴏʀғ.

ᴀᴄᴄᴏʀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇs, **ʙ** ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇᴍ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ʜᴇʀ ʙғғ **s**. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀʟʏ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ᴀᴛᴛɪʀᴇ? sʜᴇ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴇss ᴄᴏᴅᴇ. ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴄᴛ sʜᴇ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴀ ᴘʟᴜs ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪɴᴠɪᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ? ᴡʜʏ ᴅɪᴅ s sʜᴏᴡ? ᴡʜʏ ɪs ʙ sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ sᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ-ʙᴇɴᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴀ sᴏᴄɪᴀʟ ᴘᴀʀɪᴀʜ? ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. ʙᴜᴛ, ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ? ɪғ ɴᴏᴛ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴇᴀʀ, ғᴏʀ ɪɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴠᴇᴀʟᴇᴅ. ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɪs ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʀɪɢʜᴛ, ɴᴀᴛᴇ?

_**xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ**_

* * *

_"I can't believe this?"_

The Kiss on the Lips party was Friday night, and it was now Monday morning. But in the time between all in anyone could talk about was Serena crashing and Gossip Girl's ambiguous finishing line about Nate. Speculation began and the rumors were spreading like wildfire. The rumored scandal between Blair, Nate, and Serena was all anyone was talking about. And that's what had Coco in such a fuss this morning.

"I can not believe this."

With a deep sigh, Odette pulls her earphones out and looks over at her younger sister, "Do you think if you keep repeating yourself suddenly you'll sound interesting? Just spit it out already Coco."

The younger Rockefeller rolls her eyes in annoyance at how bitchy her sister can be, "No forget it. If you're going to be rude I don't need to tell you."

"Oh, _darn_!" Odette bites back, venom practically dripping from her tongue. She was being harsher than necessary but she was still overly annoyed with Coco's behavior as of recent.

"This is exactly what I've been talking to Dr. Windsor about. You are such a negative person Dette, and it really like...drains my soul tbh."

One of the more irksome habits that Coco had picked up from Kati and Iz was her use of _text lingo_ in everyday life. In this case, instead of saying 'to be honest' she chose to say 'tbh'. Which only made her sound like more of an airhead than usual. But Odette had brought this up enough times with her sister and nothing was changing. She really didn't feel the need to waste her breath on the issue further. So instead, the two sat in the back of their families Escalade in complete, and utter, silence.

Moments such as these really brought out the stark differences in each sister. Odette _hated _awkward silences, anyone that knew her knew this. Coco didn't mind them in the slightest. Especially when she knew they could benefit her. In this case, she knew Odette would be the first to break thus giving Coco a win. A small one sure, but a win was still a win nonetheless.

_'Any second now...'_

"What can't you believe?"

Sure enough, Odette breaks the silence and tries to ignore the smug grin plastered across her sister's face.

"I just keep reading Gossip Girl's latest blast." Coco turns her phone to show her sister as if she needed to provide proof. "How did she not mention me and Chuck?"

Even the sound of his name was giving Odette war flashbacks to what had gone down in the bathroom. "Why would she? You guys danced a little, it's not really breaking news."

"It's not fair." Tossing her phone into her Birkin, Coco crosses her arms tightly across her chest and begins to pout.

"Cortney," Odette rarely called her by anything but her pet name, but she needed to have her full attention, "You don't want Gossip Girl to post about you and Chuck. Do you know what people would say and think about you? Everyone would think you slept with him and label you a slut, or easy. Why would you want that?"

Coco stares coldly back at her sister, never breaking eye contact even though the words being spewed her way were semi-hurtful. "I don't know, I could ask you the same? Why did _you_ want that?"

She should have known better and known that Coco wouldn't take her seriously. Throwing her hands up in exasperation, Odette turns away from Coco and sinks back into her seat. "What are you going on about now?"

"Everyone. And I do mean, _everyone_. Knows you fucked him. So don't come at me acting so holier than thou."

Odette's head snaps back to look at sister, and if looks could kill Coco would surely be six feet under.

"How disrespectful can you be? You're lucky I don't slap you for saying something like that to me. I never have, and _never_ will fuck Chuck Bass. It's a stupid rumor with zero merit. I was only trying to look out for you but as always, you'll do what you want." Odette was so worked up she was practically frothing at the mouth, "Do me a favor though. Go ahead and ask your good friends Kati and Iz what it's like to lose your virginity to the infamous Chuck Bass. They know _all_ about it. Kati's was _wow_, the things fairytales are made of! Her and Chuck were both covered in each others vomit and he had such terrible whiskey dick that he couldn't even keep it up. Someone also recorded the whole thing and sent it to everyone. And I do mean, _everyone_." She mocks her sisters' previous word choice before continuing, "Iz doesn't remember much, except the large medical bills that followed from the expensive abortion she had to get. Chuck paid for it, of course, being the _gentlemen_ he is. But hey, those are just two of the many _many_ stories out there. Stay on the track you're going and I'm sure your story will make the ranks and maybe even be worthy of a Gossip Girl blast one day." She cocks her head to the side before finishing with the one major thing she knew would kill Coco, "But, there are already _so_ many others like you out there, I doubt you'd be relevant enough to really be worth a news cycle."

Coco doesn't have a chance to fire anything back, if she even wanted to, as the car comes to a stop in front of the school's gated entrance. As the backdoor is held open for them Odette begins to slide out. But just before exiting she looks back at her sister, studying her stoic expression, "Be smarter." And without another word she climbs out of the car.

"Thank you, Peter." She nods to their driver before heading into the school grounds.

A mass of her fellow students surround her, as they enter the building, all caught up in their own discussions. From the sound of it, all much lighter than the one she had just unleashed on Coco.

She felt slightly bad for unloading all that on her, but she needed to know. Coco was a child that so desperately wanted to behave like an adult. But if that was the case she needed to think more like one, and it was sort of Odette's duty as her older sister to keep her...'_educated'_. No one else would care enough to warn her. No matter how much these girls liked to pretend they were her best friends, they weren't. And if keeping her sister safe from physical and emotional pain meant Odette needing to be the bad guy, then so be it. The weight of the responsibility was a lot on her shoulders and heart, but it's not like they had great parental guidance to take on that burden. So like most things it fell to her, always.

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear these thoughts from her head Odette realizes she'll need a little pick me up if she's going to be able to get through the day.

She had a French test, a Calculus exam, and a presentation for speech today. All of which she needed to make an A on if she was going to stay on track to graduate early. Just before heading into her first period she reaches into her purse and discreetly takes two pills from her prescription bottle, popping them into her mouth and swallowing them without anyone around her being the wiser.

_"Bonjour Ms. Rockefeller."_

On exam days Monsieur Autry always greeted his students at the door. Odette had a theory he liked seeing the fear in their eyes. But thanks to her handy dandy pills, in approximately ten to fifteen minutes she wouldn't be feeling anything at all.

"Bonjour!"

* * *

_Ok so before I get onto my usual chapter-ending soapbox, I want to quickly cover the add-in of yet another OC. Typically this is something I would discuss in my beginning authors note, but I really wanted this to be a surprise! _

_Those of you that have read **'The Chase'** and **'Ultraviolet'** by **'greyspaces'** probably caught it. But for those that didn't(you **really** should go read those!) There was a mention of Dan having an older sister, Mackenzie. While I LOVE Mac, she is not my character and I claim absolutely no ownership of her. Her creator is a very dear friend of mine on here, and I just happen to be a huge fan of her work. So much so that I asked her explicit permission to be able to include Mackenzie in my stories timeline. Basically, because I really love the idea of our girls existing in the same world. In her story the world is already way too developed to be able to really include Odette. So, obviously that left me with only one real choice. To add Mac into '**gilded**'. And I am so so excited and honored, that I get to include her. As per Mac's history, she didn't live in the Humphrey loft with Dan and Jenny as teenagers so she will only be mentioned...for now ;) But I hope those of you that read both our stories can enjoy this little touch. _

_Anyways I hope this update was everything you hoped it would be. We're still early into the story but the deeper into this world we get the more excited I am. I can't wait for you all to see what I have planned ahead. As always, thank you for taking the time to read. Now, **pleaaasseee, **as a mediocre writer that isn't afraid to ask for validation I beg of you, let me know what you think?!_


	5. chapter four

_As always, thank you to everyone that's reading. It can be hard to put yourself out there(post chapters) so every read, fav, follow, or review means the absolute world._

_And as always, the biggest thank you goes to my dear friend 'greyspaces'. I really wouldn't be able to do any of this without her._

* * *

**WARNING:**

**SEXUAL SITUATIONS, LANGUAGE, AND DRUG ****USE**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

_"Who has time to make up stories when the truth is so much more interesting?"_

* * *

_September_

* * *

There were only five-hundred and thirty-six students admitted, and currently enrolled between Constance Billard and St. Judes. Annually they accepted no more and no less.

Upon applying, each hopeful prospect was placed through an intense screening with both their academic and personal records being meticulously examined.

Basically, you had to be involved in lots of extracurriculars and have an incredibly high GPA. Or, your parents needed to have deep pockets and donate lots of their money to improving the school.

With its capacity set at five-hundred and thirty-six that allowed one-hundred and thirty-four spots for each grade level. Split that equally amongst Constance and St. Judes and that left exactly a total of sixty-seven spots available for every grade level at each school.

Boasting not only low acceptance rates, and therefore small classroom sizes, but also the highest amount of Ivy-League Acceptances for their seniors, Constance Billard and St. Judes was easily considered one of the most _exclusive_ private educations offered in Manhattan.

And Jenny Humphrey was lucky enough to secure herself one of the sixty-seven spots in Constance's freshman class.

Sometimes it really all felt like a dream.

Sure, she may be one of the token scholarship kids and have to get up earlier than all her peers so that she can catch the subway, and not miss the VIA, to school. But it was worth it to be able to attend such an elite school in the heart of the Upper East Side. Sometimes the expected course-load could be daunting, but she was fully willing to put in all her spare time and risk her mental state to keep up. Nothing would cost her this scholarship. It was the opportunity of a lifetime.

It all left her feeling overwhelmingly grateful but also unworthy. She went to school with the children of politicians, actors, and multi-billionaire CEO's. Who was she? The daughter of a washed-up Rockstar from the nineties who ran a barely profitable art gallery.

She hadn't always been ashamed of her father though.

Growing up Jenny had been a complete daddies girl, to her Rufus was the end all be all. But things had changed rather recently as she became more exposed to the world around her. It was a world that felt lightyears away and right at her fingertips all at the same time. It was a world, hers for the taking if she played her cards right. Which is why she was trying so incredibly hard to get into Blair's good graces.

The prior summer Jenny had spent almost all her free time learning everything there was to know about the social hierarchy of Constance through the most reliable of sources, Gossip Girl. And all roads led to Blair Waldorf.

She was the undisputed Queen Bee of Constance Billard and getting into her good graces and posse was almost as difficult as getting into the school itself. Blair kept her social circle small and very tight. It was near impossible to get in unless you were handpicked by Blair herself. But Jenny had managed an in through the timeless act of bartering. Handwriting Blair's Kiss on the Lips invitations had not only scored her an invite but it got her foot in the door as well.

Jenny Humphrey was in no way considered a friend of Blair's but she was happy to play the role of _handmaiden _for now. That is until she could potentially climb her way up higher. Maybe wanting to one day be Queen herself was a bit too ambitious... but there was also a time when she was sitting in a hot public school classroom in Brooklyn and now she was here.

Anything seemed possible now.

Who was to say that she couldn't one day be Queen J...

But for now, she was just Jenny Humphrey the library book runner.

Blair had given Jenny several books to return, and once the other girls had heard they all added their own. By this point, the stack of books in Jenny's arms towered over her petite frame. She could hardly see where she was going and as she turns the corner, Jenny walks directly into a Senior girl.

_"Watch it!"_

Upon impact Jenny is instantly jolted from her inner thoughts and the several books she's carrying tumble loudly to the ground. In the distance, she can almost vaguely hear someone _'shh'_ her.

She watches as the older girl continues on her way, never bothering to even give Jenny a second look. Let alone a helping hand.

The kids at this school moved like they were walking through her, as if she was nothing. To them, she knew that's what she was.

Letting out a small sigh she kneels down to recollect the many books she had dropped.

The other students' treatment of her was upsetting but also expected. She knew, from watching Dan navigate his last two years of high school, what she was up against. Didn't make it much better though.

Continuing her way through the expansive library she finds what seems to be the check-in desk.

"Hi, I'm returning these books."

Despite her sweet and friendly demeanor, the librarian doesn't even bother to spare Jenny a glance as she points to a metal cart a few feet away.

"Thank you..." Her words come out as no more than a whisper, her confidence wavering ever so slightly.

As Jenny approaches the cart she realizes it's in complete disarray. The R's are with the B's and V's are with the G's. It was all a mess. Despite knowing it wasn't her responsibility and that her kind gesture would go completely unnoticed Jenny kneels down in front of the cart and begins to organize the books by their codes.

_"You are really making her life easier."_

Sheepishly looking up, surprised anyone is acknowledging her at this point, Jenny feels her cheeks begin to rapidly heat up as she meets eyes with Odette Rockefeller.

Ever since she was little anytime Jenny got slightly flustered she'd break out in splotches of crimson red. _'Don't do this right now.' _She commands herself as she tries her hardest to play it cool.

Realizing she's been silently staring back up at Odette, Jenny scrambles for something quick to say, "Yeah you know me, I'm here to make people's lives easier." She gestures to the stack of books to her side as a means of explanation.

Poor thing was obviously doing a standard book run for Blair and the other girls and now, for some reason, she had taken it upon herself to reorganize the entire returns cart. It was sort of pathetic, but mainly it made Odette feel a little bad for the girl. "Well, you should save your kindness for people that deserve it."

Too long of a beat passes before Odette continues.

"I'm pretty sure that in her spare time Miss Congeniality over there," Odette jabs her thumb in the direction of the librarian, "eats the souls of small children. She's really the worst."

Despite her talking about the librarian Jenny can't help but wonder if Odette's initial thought was of Blair.

It was no secret that Blair was especially horrid to the underclassmen girls. They were minions in training and not all of them would make the cut. Either they'd survive her and earn their spot amongst her ranks, or she'd break them. And most often times she broke them. But even though she could be awful at times Jenny truly had the utmost respect for Blair.

She was everything Jenny wished she could be.

"Does it say something that Ms. Groff is actually not the rudest person I've encountered so far?" Jenny has to laugh a little at this because it was true. High school girls could out-mean cranky librarian ladies any day.

"It says something. But nothing I didn't already know." Odette was popular but that didn't make her immune to her share of mean girl antics. Certainly, her experiences paled in comparison to Jenny's however. "_I_ wouldn't stay and work on that. But _I_ also wouldn't have ever started it to begin with so to each their own I guess. I'll see you around." Tossing Jenny a small smile Odette turns around and begins to walk away.

Hesitating for a moment Jenny debates her next move but ultimately knows it's her only choice. "Hey Odette, wait up!" Pushing herself up off the ground Jenny hurries to catch up with her. "I wanted to talk to you... about the other night... at th- at the party." As the words find their way out of her mouth she begins to feel increasingly more sick to her stomach.

_'Party...' _

Odette had been attempting to block most of the events of that night out, but Jenny was staring at Odette wide-eyed and she could clearly see that her neck was beginning to break out in what looked like hives, "Oh, that..."

_Now was certainly not the time to admit it, but Dan was thankful he had stumbled across Odette. _

_He was someone that prided himself on his ability to be incredibly self-sufficient but in this instance, there was no way he could handle this alone. _

_Serena had tagged along, but she didn't know the full extent of anything. Dan had just told her that Jenny was having issues with a girl. Now that he knew the truth he especially didn't want her to know. _

_He knew Serena was in no place to judge his sister, but 'my sister is high on ecstasy' doesn't make for the best first date story either. For Jenny's sake, and possibly his own, he wanted the least amount of people to know as possible. _

_That's where Odette really came in handy. She was incredibly discreet._

_As she guided him through the hoards of party-goers she would stop every so often and hug on some girl, or boy, and whisper something in their ear. As Dan watched each interaction he couldn't help but admire, and slightly envy, how she commanded attention. _

_This was a party, people were getting into all sorts of trouble and having fun, but as soon as Odette approached them they would all drop what they were doing to give her their full attention and talk to her for a bit before pointing her in the direction of the next person. Nobody ignored her, nobody dared blow her off._

_Dan could only ever dream of getting acknowledged like that..._

_After talking back and forth with a boy Dan recognized from his Trigonometry class Odette turns back to Dan, "Okay, I think I know where to find her." _

_"Great! Let's go." Dan gestures for her to get moving but notices she only stares back at him with a very serious-like expression. _

_"Before I take you to her I need you to promise to go easy and stay calm. Chances are she didn't know what she was getting herself into, and even if she did when she comes down she's going to hate herself. She doesn't need her big brother being a dick about it too." _

_Anger flashes across Dan's face for a moment. _

_Who was Odette to tell him how to handle his own sister? But he tries to remind himself to stay calm. _

_He knew she was right. _

_Besides, there was plenty of time to lay into Jenny once she was on the other side of all this. _

_"You act like I'm judgmental or something?" Dan attempts a joke, but it fails completely. "I'll be cool." _

_"Now Dan, let's not go that far. I'm not asking you to do the impossible here. All I said was to stay calm." Odette rolls her eyes as she turns back around and leads Dan further away from where the party was happening and up one of the stairwells._

_As they trekked all the way up to the rooftop entrance Dan could feel his nerves multiplying by the second. _

_He had never done drugs, beyond taking a hit out of Vanessa's older sister's bong from time to time. He didn't know what to expect. _

_MDMA seemed like one of those drugs that only 'druggie-type' people did, how did his little sister fall into it so casually? He knew that was a question for another time but it was the only thing he could think about, beyond hoping that she was safe. _

_"Remy!" _

_An incredibly handsome middle eastern boy turns around and smirks to Odette before walking up to greet her. _

_"Rocky, babe, you're just in time for some fun."_

_Handsome, British and tall. Very tall. _

_Dan quickly noted that this guy was over a foot taller than Odette. He had to basically kneel down to plant a kiss on her cheek. _

_"Tempting, but I can't stay. My friend here is looking for his sister." Turning to Dan she gestures between the two boys, "Dan Humphrey, Remy Almasi." _

_As the two exchange a cautious handshake Dan is able to get a proper look at him. __He had very sharp, dark features. But despite his clean looking demeanor, there was something deeply unsettling about this person. Dan's gut instinct told him that this guy was trouble, and the fact that his search for Jenny had led him here was concerning to say the very least. _

_"His sister is a cute little blonde and I have it on pretty solid authority that she got drugs from you." _

_Remy raises a thick brow at her and scoffs, "Lots of cute little blonde's do. Yourself included."_

_"I'm not exactly blonde. I'm more of a...what's the name of it?" Odette attempts to clarify, but as she hears Dan clear his throat next to her she decides to drop it for now, "Nevermind, doesn't matter. I know you know who I'm talking about so why don't you just tell me where she is and we'll be on our way?"_

_Odette watches as Remy rubs at his sculpted jaw for long a moment as if he was really trying to recall. But then he only responds with a simple, "I don't remember." _

_"Great. Thanks for the help, Odette." Dan lets out an exasperated breath as he walks back to the propped open door. _

_"That's too bad. I was really hoping you'd be more help." She fights the urge to slap the smirk growing across his chiseled face, "It's funny, you don't remember things, but I remember everything. So, __I guess now I'll just have to tell everyone about that night at Chuck's? You know, when you got really, really, drunk and told him you wanted to give him a rim job? Among other things..." _

_Dan had just approached the door, his hand on the doorknob when he heard those last words come out of Odette's mouth. Since his back was to them he knew he didn't have to hide his facial expressions but he still tried his hardest to not let his jaw drop. _

_"Wow, you're going to shame me for my sexuality? I didn't take you as homophobic." _

_Odette shakes her head before giving him a sympathetic smile, "I'm not. Fuck boys, fuck girls, fuck both, you do you, man. But, I'm pretty sure your religion isn't quite as understanding. It'd be such a shame if word of your...preferences...got back to your father. He probably wouldn't even be able to show his face at Mosque from the shame of it all."_

_At this revelation, Remy bites down hard on his lower lip before chuckling, "Hm, you really are a twat, Rockefeller. But I suppose game recognizes game." _

_"I really am." Despite him using the word to hurt her Odette remains completely unbothered, "So then, where's his sister Rim-y?" _

_Once Remy had told them everything he knew Dan and Odette left the roof and headed in the direction of where Remy had claimed he left Jenny. _

_"Are we going to talk about what just happened? Because I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, extorting someone by using their sexuality and religion seems pretty messed up." _

_Odette stops descending the stairs and turns back to Dan, "Whoa, I'm not prejudiced, Dan. Which I know, that's exactly what a prejudice person would say. But seriously, I don't care where a person comes from, what color their skin is, or if they're gay or not. But a piece of shit is still a piece of shit regardless of what they believe in? Remy is not a good guy and he doesn't play nice either. You should know by now that in this world it's fuck, or be fucked over." Pausing for a moment Odette shrugs, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or offended you in any way, but I have a little sister too. I'd do anything for mine, and I know you'd do anything for yours too. That's what was in my arsenal so I used it." _

_Dan studies Odette before responding, "You're right, I would." He knew she wasn't being malicious, she was just trying to help him save his sister. But the lengths his peers went to to get what they wanted never ceased to amaze him. _

_It didn't take long for them to find Jenny. Remy had all but spelled it out for them. _

_"The girl's bathroom, seriously? We went through all this just for her to be in the bathroom?"_

_"Dan," Odette turns to him with a wary expression plain on her face, "I don't know exactly what's going to be happening in there. So why don't you just hang back and let me get her and I'll bring her to you." _

_As much as Dan wanted to fight her on this he was pretty nervous of what he might see. He had no clue what kind of state Jenny was in, he just wanted to know she was safe and to get her home. _

_"Why don't you go and fetch a cab and I'll meet you out front with her?" _

_Without saying a word Dan nods and quickly heads towards the front entrance of the venue. _

_As Dan retreats Odette pushes the bathroom door open and is instantly hit with deja vu of earlier in the night when she brought Chuck in here. _

_"Jenny?" _

_She calls out for the girl knowing full well that she won't respond. But she hopes that if people hear that she's looking for someone they'll be less weirded out by her looking in the cracks of the stalls. _

_Most of the stalls seem to be being used for their intended purposes, but a low groan was coming from the farthest, handicap-accesible, stall. The same stall she had lured Chuck into only mere hours before. _

_As she reaches for the door handle she realizes it's locked._

_ Peering through the small crack in the side of the stall she can't really make out who's in there, but she does see blonde hair so she knows she has to go for it. _

_Looking down at the tiled floor she realizes there is only one way to get into this locked stall. Taking a deep breath and doing a quick sign of the cross, Odette gets down on her knees and crawls across the dirty floor and under the stall door. _

_"Oh my god!" Once she squeezes through she finally has a clear view of what's going on in this particular stall. _

_Jenny is seated on the open toilet seat, her eyes closed and her head only propped up because she's leaning back against the wall. Her dress is pulled down to her belly button and her bra is completely off, exposing her breast._

_ Standing in front of Jenny is a guy Odette vaguely recognizes from Dalton, with his pants and boxers down between his ankles. _

_He hadn't even noticed Odette crawl her way into the stall he was entirely focused on Jenny's exposed body as he rubbed one off. _

_"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Odette shoved him roughly to the ground before starting to lay into him. "Unconcious girls are so sexy, right?! You worthless low-life." Every one of her slaps and punches landed and he quickly brought his hands up to defend his face. "Oh, and look. You're stupid too," Odette comments as she pushes herself up off the ground and draws back her leg just enough before kicking him as hard as she can in his groin. "that's hoping you can't ever procreate." _

_As the pervy Dalton boy groans in agony, Odette steps over him and looks around for Jenny's missing bra. _

_Unable to locate it she opts to just pull her dress back up. She was going home anyway, and Odette really wanted to get them both out of here before the guy on the ground got his strength back, and possibly called for backup. _

_"Come on Jenny." Odette slaps her porcelain-like cheeks a little in an attempt to wake her up. It works, but barely. _

_Supporting almost all of Jenny Humphrey's body weight on her Odette makes her way out of the crowded bathroom and through the party. _

_Noticing that people were starting to stare Odette laughs, "I've got to call her driver, she is SO drunk!" _

_That story seemed to suffice most of the nosey passersby as they stopped staring at Jenny and focused their attention back on the party. _

_Almost as soon as she stepped foot out of the door Dan was there to take the majority hold of Jenny in his arms, "Shit." _

_As Odette moves to open the cab door for him she sees the clear look of distress on his face. _

_"Do you mind if I tag along? Not really in the party mood anymore. Besides, cab fare from the Upper West Side to Brooklyn is probably a bitch, I can charge it to my card?" _

_"My mind is kind of spinning right now so I could probably use the company, and it doesn't look like my sister will be much of that." Dan carefully maneuvers Jenny into the backseat, being extra careful not to bump any part of her body against the car as to not disturb her. As if it could in her state. _

_"I'll get it on the other side so that Jenny is between us. That way if we hit a pothole or something her head isn't banging against the window or something." Odette offers, already walking that way. _

_"Hold up," Dan takes hold of her by her elbow, "This street is really busy and people drive like maniacs, I don't want you to get hit. Why don't you get in on this side?" Holding the door for her he waits for her to get in completely before shutting it and hurrying to the other side. _

_After telling the driver their address and getting situated Dan sits in silence for what feels like a long time. _

_He was racking his brain trying to figure out what happened tonight, and why Jenny let this happen. _

_"I doubt it'll make you feel any better," Odette finally breaks the silence, "But Jenny is definitely not high on MDMA. She might've thought that's what she was taking but it's pretty obvious she was roofied..." _

_At this revelation, Dan stares down at his sister. _

_He was suddenly so tempted to scoop her up and cradle her in his arms just like he used to when they were little and she'd fall and scrape her knee. _

_There was so much he wanted to protect her from and he couldn't. Tonight was a very clear indicator of that._

_ "That Remy guy you think?"_

_"Yeah. Like I said, piece of shit." _

_Dan can feel the sensation of tears beginning to build. __He wasn't sad, well maybe a little bit. But he was mainly pissed. __His fourteen-year-old sister had been given the date-rape drug at a charity event. Sure, it was an unsupervised, alcohol-fueled party only masquerading as a charity event, but still. _

_She didn't deserve this, no girl did. And unfortunately, in this world especially, this was a common occurrence. _

_Rich boys that were given everything they've ever wanted can't take no for an answer. They feel entitled to whatever they want, including underage girls, and so they roofie them and take them by whatever means necessary._

_ Dan wasn't so unaware. He heard the boys in his classes talk about their wild weekends._

_ It alarmed him the amount of them that would so openly talk about using roofies as a means to get action from the more frigid girls but it hadn't struck him this hard until it was Jenny on the receiving end. _

_"I'll never know what happened to her and she probably won't either. That really just eats at me." _

_Odette wondered if she should tell Dan what she saw. But it didn't feel right... _

_Jenny was the one who had been assaulted, she would tell her but then it was Jenny's choice to tell Dan and whoever else. Besides, Dan already looked pretty broken up and she didn't want to push him over the edge. _

_"The good thing is, she's safe now. She's with her brother and soon she'll be in her own bed and be able to recover. You can't think about all the what-if's right now, you'll drive yourself crazy. For the time being, just focus on being comforting to her in whatever way she may need." _

_Dan nods in acknowledgment but says nothing further and they ride the rest of the way in silence. _

_Once the taxi reaches its stop Dan pulls Jenny in his arms and carries her out of the car. __Before heading into their building however, Dan turns back to the cab, "Odette?" He waits for her to roll the window down and look at him, "I don't think I would have been able to find Jenny on my own. Actually, I know I wouldn't have. If it weren't for you, I don't know what could have happened. So, thank you." _

_"Of course, as I said, I have a little sister too. I get it." The two exchange a look before Dan turns and begins to walk away, still holding Jenny in his arms._

_"Oh, Dan!" Odette calls after him suddenly remembering something important that he had forgotten in the mess of everything, "Make sure you call Serena in the morning and explain because I'm sure she's feeling pretty stood up right about now. You left her in the literal lion's den." _

_Dan closes his eyes as his fuck-up fully dawns on him. Years he's been silently pining for Serena and when he scores his first semi-date with her he completely blows it. "Thanks..." _

"Obviously, I don't remember much. But Dan clued me in on what he could, and I'm honestly just really embarrassed about the whole thing." As Jenny speaks her head drops and she won't make direct eye contact with Odette.

Odette knew this conversation was coming, but that didn't make it any less unpleasant. "Jenny... there's something that happened that I really think you should know."

"I know." Jenny's bottom lip quivers as she speaks as if she was fighting the urge to cry, "I mean I don't _know_-know. But I know enough. And what I don't, I think I'd rather not. At least for now."

Odette doesn't say anything right away, taking care to fully process what Jenny was saying and asking of her before she responds. "I understand. If you ever change your mind though, you know where to find me."

"Thanks. You know, for all your help and also not telling anyone. I don't know how I didn't make the top page for Gossip Girl, but I have to think that was your doing. Mainly because the only other person who cared is Dan, and he definitely doesn't have your pull."

Odette says nothing to this but gives Jenny a very telling wink before heading back in the direction she came from.

As soon as she's out of Jenny's line of site Odette wraps her arms around herself, in an attempt to comfort herself, and releases a shallow breath. Their talk hadn't made her feel any better, but that was life sometimes.

Sometimes you had to bear the emotional weight of someone else's trauma so that they didn't have to.

This was _precisely_ why she didn't go out of her way to help people.

This sucked.

* * *

_October_

* * *

J.D Rockefeller was a man of structure. He relied heavily on routine and stressed punctuality above all. He was a busy man and his time was precious, and anyone that didn't respect his time didn't warrant his attention. He held everyone to this standard.

Everyone except for his youngest daughters, who despite their utter disregard for punctuality he loved unconditionally.

_Most of the time. _

Odette was really pushing his patience today though.

Releasing a heavy sigh, he looks down at his Patek Philippe watch for the sixth time in the last five minutes. "We did agree on eight o'clock did we not?"

Coco was currently in a texting frenzy as she rapidly replied to her group message with Kati and Iz. They all couldn't stop talking about the recent drama between Blair and Serena during Ivy Week. But at her fathers' question, she spares him a short glance and shrugs before returning her focus to her phone.

One daughter was late, the other was completely absorbed in her phone, and he was starving.

J.D flagged down one of the various servers moving around the busy restaurant, "I'm still waiting on my other daughter but we'll go ahead and order the Oceans La Tour... that's the three-tier tower correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, we'll do that and then..." J.D scans over his menu one last time before handing it off to the server as he finishes, "I'll get the ribeye, medium rare, with a side of the roasted rainbow carrots. Coco?"

The youngest Rockefeller doesn't even bother to look up at the server as she replies, "Chicken. No Leeks."

"Yes, mam."

_"I'm so late, I know. I'm sorry!"_

Odette leans down to be eye level with her father and plants a big kiss on his cheek.

Despite his previous annoyance with her, J.D's slight grin tells her that she's forgiven for her blunder.

As she begins to slip off her mink coat she asks, "What's been ordered?" And without missing a beat their server takes the coat from her and drapes it across the back of her seat before pulling her chair out for her as he reads off the tables appetizer and entree choices.

"Yum! I'm going to add a spicy tuna roll to the appetizers, and for my main course, I'll take the Chilean Sea Bass with a side of parmesan truffle fries. And can you just bring an entire bottle of your sparkling water?"

"Absolutely. Is there anything else I can get for the table?"

"I'll take another seven and seven, thank you." As the server leaves the table J.D directs his focus on Odette, "Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence."

"I said I was sorry." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she bats her eyes innocently at her father, "The pharmacy was giving me a bit of an issue when I went to refill my prescription."

At this revelation, J.D's brows furrow in confusion, "Didn't you just get that refilled a week or so ago?"

"No." Her answer is short. Probably too short. Glancing over to her sister, Odette quickly racks her brain for a conversation change, "Has Coco caught you up on all the latest drama at school?"

"Nope. But I caught him up on what a monster you've been to me." Setting her phone down, finally, Cortney looks up and gives her older sister an icy stare.

Waving Coco's concerns off with little thought Odette turns her attention back to her father, "Little sisters are the _worst,_ I have no clue how you did it with two daddy."

At this J.D can't help but chuckle. Since they were little the two girls had always been at each other's throats. Some things never really change. "You'd be surprised."

"Have you talked to Nonni recently?" As their server returns with her sparkling water Odette shoots him a grateful smile, "I went to church with her a few Sundays ago. Early morning service too. And that was the morning after a huge party so you should be very impressed."

"Ah, did you need to make confession?" Most fathers would not be impressed or want to hear, about their fifteen-year-old daughter's party lifestyle. But J.D was not like most fathers.

Odette and Coco were the youngest of his six children and therefore got away with the most. He was much younger when he had his older four and was in turn much stricter. But by this stage in his life, he had somewhat checked out on being a _proper_ dad. He preferred the role of a friend. Unfortunately, so did their mother and this left the girls with no real parental figures. J.D would justify it because both girls acted much older than what they were, but deep down he knew he was doing his children a great disservice.

At her fathers' question, Odette forces a smile_, 'Well, I did sprinkle cocaine across my chest for Chuck Bass the night before...' _"Of course not. I just know she likes for us to try to attend with her from time to time."

"Yeah, I'm sure she loved that." J.D's mother, Vivianne, was born and raised in Charleston, South Carolina and despite living in Manhattan all these years she had truly retained those southern values. Especially in regards to family and God. "I haven't seen her in a while, I should probably make more of an effort."

Odette adored her grandparents. So much so that she probably spent more time with them than her own parents. "It's okay. You're a busy guy, I'm sort of surprised you were even able to do dinner with us."

This change of conversation had piqued Coco's interest and she quickly adds in, "Me too. I thought you had standing dinners with Lily on Wednesdays?"

Both girls were very aware of their father's notorious _behavior_. He had charmed his way into many Upper East Side mothers beds. Both single and married. His latest flavor of the month had been Lily Van Der Woodsen.

With Eric in Miami and Serena at boarding school, Lily had all the time in the world for J.D. But as with all the women before her, his attention always drifted elsewhere.

"Lily is a lovely woman. But, she can be a bit much." J.D smirks to himself as he reflects on his time with her, "We stopped seeing each other maybe a month or two ago. What about you two, seeing anyone special?"

Coco scoffs before replying bitterly, "Not if Dette has anything to say about it."

"Are you actually being serious right now?" Odette gives Coco her hardest stare, determined to not let her break eye contact, "He said _special_. Chuck Bass is not that."

"I'm sure he would say the same about you." Coco bites back as the server returns to the table and presents them with their appetizers.

"Thank you." J.D nods to the young man before reaching for an oyster. He wasn't really sure what his girls were fighting about now, but he had learned long ago not to attempt to intervene lest he be accused of choosing sides.

"I'm sure he would. I'm sure he would also say the same about any other girl in the world, including you. Because he's an asshole who doesn't care about women in general."

As Coco looks at her sister she sees nothing but red. Just because Chuck had thrown Odette aside didn't necessarily mean he would do that to her.

Odette had a serious older sister complex and seemed determined to not let Coco live her own life and find things out for herself. It was getting increasingly more irritating.

Besides, she had heard from several mutual friends that Odette was still hanging out over there from time to time and Coco couldn't help but wonder if Odette was really looking out for her, or looking out for herself. "If he's so terrible why are you over there all the time?"

Odette loses a bit of her confidence, taken off guard by Coco's accusation. "I'm _not_ over there all the time. But jealousy really ages a person Coco so if I were you I'd chill out. Looks like you're already getting wrinkles right _there_." As she finishes she pokes her freshly manicured finger between Coco's eyebrows and pushes her head back before preparing for whatever retaliation Coco was sure to fire back at her for this.

"Girls," Sensing that the situation was rapidly accelerating J.D finally calls for both his daughters' attention, "I want to enjoy a nice dinner with you both, can you maybe save the fighting for when you're home, with your mother? Let it be her problem please?"

Neither girl says anything, they were both stubborn to the bone and never one to fully back down, but they both resign to digging into the large seafood spread before them. For their fathers' sake at least.

Besides, Oceans was one of the best restaurants in the city and it would be tragic to let all this wonderful food go to waste.

* * *

_"Just the guy I was looking for."_

"Uh..." Dan's eyes shift nervously as he closes the book he was previously studying to see who had suddenly approached him, "What's up.. Odette?"

It was a Wednesday which meant he was expecting a 'pop quiz' in his American Literature class. He could argue with his teacher that using the term 'pop quiz' was incredibly redundant when after over a month into classes they always, and only ever, happened on Wednesdays. But Dan had always had a strong need to be liked by his teachers. Especially in a school like this where the other students wanted nothing to do with him. The literature puns Mr. Townsend told him each day were some of the only social interactions he received here at school on any given day.

That was until Serena came along.

Sure, things had gotten off to a rocky start but they were slowly but surely figuring it out. Kind of. There was the elephant in the room; their vastly different worlds. But surely other people had overcome worse?

Serena was so perfect in his own eyes it made him feel like he needed to walk on eggshells.

As early on as things still were he was constantly worried he'd do something to blow it all. _Again_.

Sure, they had managed to work through the early onset drama. But if other things started to happen would they be so lucky?

There was also a very real possibility that at any given moment Serena could realize Dan just wasn't very interesting and leave his life as quickly as she entered it. This was a big fear of his but he tried desperately to not give it power over him.

This blossoming romance was both exciting and terrifying all in the same beat.

Shoving his backpack and some books over Odette promptly plops down next to him, "I was running through some last-minute details and realized I never heard back from you about my birthday party?"

If he was being honest, he had completely forgotten about the invitation she had slipped him a couple of weeks back. Mainly because he thought it might have been a joke.

"Serena's going, so I kind of figured you would be coming together?"

Blair hadn't shut up about 'how weird' the thought of Dan and Serena were. Odette, as with most things that bothered Blair, didn't see the big deal. Or at the very least, didn't care enough to. But, she did need a final headcount for her upcoming party.

"It's two weeks from Saturday, so are you coming or what?"

Dan watches as Odette taps her monogrammed pen against her planner, impatiently waiting for his answer. "Two weeks from Saturday? Like, as in Halloween?"

"Well, I mean, _duh_. That is my birthday..." Odette narrows her eyes at him slightly.

_Everyone_ knew her birthday fell on Halloween.

That was sort of very telling about who she felt she was as a person.

"Do you have a better offer? Big night of passing out candy to little Brooklynite tricker treaters or...?"

Dan can't help but cough as he tries to stifle a laugh. Somehow Odette being brought into the world on the _'scariest day'_ of the year made _perfect_ sense.

At her second comment, he can't hide his grimace. He did, in fact, make plans with his dad to pass out candy to the tricker treaters in their building. But, if Serena was going to this party then, "Yeah I'll be there."

"Perfect." Patting his knee Odette pushes herself off the benched seat. Before walking off she quickly turns back around to add, "Make sure you're in costume or security won't let you in."

"You're joking..." Dan hadn't dressed up for Halloween since he was eight.

"Of course I'm not. I don't joke when it comes to Halloween you weirdo?" shaking her head in disgust Odette hurries off in search of the next person on her list. She had a few other people she needed confirmation from by the end of the day.

"You're the one having a costume themed birthday party, but yeah sure _I'm_ the weirdo." Dan had started off trying to yell after her, but it was obvious she couldn't hear him.

He could feel the judgmental stares of his peers around him and can vaguely make out someone saying _'what a loser'_ under their breath.

"But uh I'm the one talking to myself." Clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth he gathers his books and heads off to his class, eager to put himself out of his own self-induced misery.

He needed to prepare himself for his quiz.

He also needed to find a Halloween costume, apparently.

* * *

_This chapter was obviously somewhat of a filler, maybe that's why it was so difficult to write? But everything, even the small details all help to better build this world. I promise things will start to really take off in the next chapter! _

_As for the Jenny section, I hope that didn't offend anyone. In the first Gossip Girl book Jenny and Chuck get caught in a bathroom stall and I decided to lean on that for inspiration more so than how things went down in the show._

_Anyways, I hope you enjoyed._


	6. chapter five

_GUYS, THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER. LIKE, MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET, BY FAR. I'M SO SORRY!_

_Things are really about to start progressing and I could not be more excited to share what is to come (hint: lots of scandalous drama, duh)! For now, here we are with chapter six, the Halloween chapter (part 1?). From the time I started planning out this story I knew I wanted to make a point of having the characters indulge in Halloween fun because that's something, we didn't *really* get to see in the show. So, I hope you all enjoy it! _

_For anyone that is curious, I've posted some pictures on Instagram to give insight on how each specific character's Halloween costume looks. 'Odette's' is the only one I took the time to photoshop. I was planning to try it for all, but that's hard work guys! I'm a mediocre writer, not a photoshop expert so I'm in no way claiming to be good...be kind lol. I also recently have posted character profiles for all the new, non-canon, characters that have been introduced(so far) so that you can see how I imagine them looking. I will continue to do this as more get introduced. It helps me flesh out this fictional version of the Rockefeller family more if I give them each a specific look... anyways, remember that you can find ***all***_ of_ that, as well as videos, and picture promo/inspo at { gilded . ff } on Instagram(no spaces)_

_As always, thank you to all my reviewers; each one of you truly inspires me to continue to move forward and I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to leave me feedback. Taking the 30 seconds, or so, to leave a review will make a writer's entire week(sometimes month?), seriously! Same goes for everyone that follows or favorites, it's much easier to be inspired to update when you know there are people actually reading and enjoying. So from the depths of my soul, truly thank you all!_

_As always, a special shoutout to my friend **greyspaces.** Please go read her Gossip Girl series if you haven't yet. She's so so talented and in my humble opinion, we all are not worthy!_

* * *

**WARNING:**

**SOME VULGAR LANGUAGE,** **DRUG, AND ALCOHOL ****USE, LONG CHAPTER**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

_"Poor Nate was always on the verge of saying how he really felt, but he didn't want to make a scene or say something he might regret later. Instead, he kept quiet and let other people steer the boat, while he laid back and enjoyed the steady rocking of the waves."_

* * *

**_ᴀʜ, ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ. _**

_ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀ ɪᴛ's sᴏᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ғᴏʀᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪsʜ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴊᴜᴅɢᴇᴅ. __ᴡᴇʟʟ__, ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀs ᴍᴜᴄʜ._

_ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴏᴄᴄᴀsɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ? _

_ᴛʜᴇ ᴜᴘᴘᴇʀ ᴇᴀsᴛ sɪᴅᴇs ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏᴡɴ, ᴏᴅᴇᴛᴛᴇ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇғᴇʟʟᴇʀ, ɪs ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴍᴀssɪᴠᴇ sᴘᴏᴏᴋʏ ʙᴀsʜ ғᴏʀ ʜᴇʀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ sɪxᴛᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀɪᴛʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴇxᴘᴇɴsᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇғᴇʟʟᴇʀ's ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ __ᴀᴍᴇx__. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴀssᴜʀᴇᴅ ɴᴏ ᴇxᴘᴇɴsᴇ ɪs ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇғᴇʟʟᴇʀ ғᴜɴᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ ɪs sʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ **ʜᴜɢᴇ**. sᴏ, ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ ᴏʀ ᴡʜᴏʀᴇ ʀᴏᴜᴛᴇ, ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ sᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴅᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴ ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ ғᴜɴ ᴀᴛᴛɪʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ._

_ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ, ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇs ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ... ᴀ ᴅᴀʏ ғᴜʟʟ ᴏғ ᴛʀɪᴄᴋs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛs. ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴏɴ. ᴍʏ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ? ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ ɪs ᴏғғɪᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴀs ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅ ɪɴ ᴀ sɪʟʟʏ ᴄᴏsᴛᴜᴍᴇ. sᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʙᴇsᴛ ᴏғ ɪᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ. _

_**sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ:** 𝟻ᴛʜ ᴀᴠᴇɴᴜᴇ _

_ ᴀ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ʙᴏʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀʏᴡᴀʀᴅ ʙᴀss-ᴛᴀʀᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ. _

_ɪ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴs ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏ ʟᴀᴛᴇ-ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ, ʙᴏʏs? ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ sᴄʀᴀᴍʙʟɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ʟᴀsᴛ-ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ɢɪʀʟ? _

_ᴊᴜᴅɢɪɴɢ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴛɪᴇʀ ʙᴀɢs ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏᴛɪɴɢ, ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ... _

_ᴡɪᴛʜ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ, ᴡʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅs __ᴛʜᴇ__ʜ__ᴇ__ᴀ__ᴅ__ᴀᴄ__ʜᴇ __ᴏғ __ᴀ __ʙᴏʏғʀɪᴇɴᴅ?_

_ **xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ**_

* * *

_"Do you think Blair will be okay with the bracelet I picked?"_

"I like how the gift is for Odette and you're asking if Blair will be okay with it." Chuck shoots his friend an incredulous look as they saunter down Fifth Avenue.

Today was rather busy. Despite the party not being till later that night, there were still steps of preparation in order. Picking up the pieces they had put on hold at Cartier was only the first on a long list.

Giving Chuck a sizable amount of side-eye, Nate shakes his head in dismay. Chuck had never had a girlfriend, at least not a serious one. Certainly, never one as firm as Blair. Still, it bothered him how dubious Chuck could be about his relationship anxieties. Especially as of late...

Things with Blair had never been very easy, but lately, their relationship felt like it was taking a lot more work for the same results as before.

For as long as he could remember, Nate had been pushed by everyone in his life to be with Blair. He was told constantly that she was his perfect match. But still, after all these years, he had a hard time seeing it.

And he had tried.

And tried.

And _tried,_ for years now, to find any sort of real connection with Blair but over time he had reached the defeating awareness that maybe there was really nothing there? Besides the fact that they were rich kids living in Manhattan that ran in the same social circles, what did they really have in common? What did they really have to talk about that had any meaning beyond superficial appearances?

However, anytime Nate started to feel okay with this realization and confident enough to walk away from the relationship his parents, or Blair, would step in.

It's like they could sense that something inside Nate was stirring. That he was attempting to take control of his own life.

And none of them would have that for even a second.

It was like clockwork. Whenever he attempted to sit Blair down and talk she would ramble on about how difficult the last year had been with her father leaving, and Serena, and her eating disorder. She would then proceed to thank him for how wonderful he had been and tell him that she wouldn't have survived the last year without him. _'I don't know what I would do without you!' _The whole thing was much more of a damsel in distress look for Blair than what she usually went with but then again, she knew exactly what she was doing and who she was dealing with. And it worked for her every time.

It wasn't always Blair though. Other times it was his mother.

Anne would practically gush about what a perfect girl Blair was for him. By perfect for him she obviously meant perfect for the family image, not that she would ever directly say it.

He had never seen his mother more animated than when she discussed his and Blair's future and he didn't have the heart to disappoint her by pointing out how unhappy he actually was in said relationship.

His father's tactic was perhaps the most hurtful, however.

He would engage Nate in discussions about his life, consisting of the usual things... school, sports, friends, girls. The two men would exchange stories and laugh at one another's expense. This would grow into a much more serious talk about Nate's future and how bright The Captain felt it was. He would beguile Nate with these ideas of all the possibilities of what his life could one day be. _'There's big things in store for you Nathanial, huge things.' _And right as Nate was able to see it all so clearly for himself, Howard would throw in, _'Blair will be there guiding you every step of the way of course'. _

Were those great things not possible without Blair? Did he need her to guide him _'every step of the way'_? And if not her, would it then be someone else's responsibility? Did he truly believe Nate wasn't capable of accomplishing greatness on his own?

The lack of confidence his father seemed to have in his abilities was deeply hurtful.

It was disheartening to know that in both his parent's minds all roads to success for him, led firmly to Blair.

Like clockwork, he would begin to doubt himself once more. If the people who knew him best didn't think he could be successful on his own, or happy away from Blair, maybe they were right. Maybe what he mistook for misery was just happiness being morphed by his own struggles with anxiety and spouts of depressive moods.

Besides, it's not like Blair was a terrible girlfriend?

In fact, most looking from the outside would probably say Nate was the terrible boyfriend...

Blair cared about Nate, a lot.

She was always at his lacrosse games and soccer matches, sometimes she even went to the practices.

She had also been one of the first people to catch that he was dyslexic.

Most people had the misconception that Nate wasn't all that bright but Blair saw that he just needed some extra patience and tutoring, and she had given him that when he needed it most and continued to do so now. To this day she always helped him with his studies, and she always seemed to believe the best in him even when he couldn't. By most accounts, Blair was a great, supportive girlfriend.

And who was he?

He was the guy that had to get ridiculously stoned to be able to get through big events with her.

He was the guy constantly questioning the point of their relationship, to himself at least. He wasn't even brave enough to have that talk with her.

Worst of all, he was the guy who cheated on her, many times. Some of which she knew of, some she didn't.

But most recently, he had done the very worst thing he could possibly do to her and cheated with her best friend.

Unlike the other times, the other woman wasn't some random he picked up from a bar or a nameless girl from another school. This was someone she knew, this was someone close to her. This was _Serena_.

All the times before he made sure to not hook up with someone Blair knew, or could ever know. It was his attempt at protecting her, as ironic as that was. Blair had worked hard to establish herself as someone to be respected and how could she demand respect from her peers if they knew her own boyfriend didn't respect her enough to stay faithful? Or that she didn't even respect herself enough to leave him for it?

So for this reason, when he stepped out on her he always made the point to be extremely discreet.

Blair knew about some of the girls.

Chuck knew about most of them.

But outside of the three of them, besides the girls that participated, no one else knew anything for certain.

There had been rumors about it since forever, but nobody was ever able to confirm anything because Nate was extremely careful with who he chose for that exact reason. Especially with Gossip Girl and her many avid readers always watching. He had to take the extra time to ensure there was no way of his indiscretions getting out to the general public.

For this reason, he had rules he practiced like religion.

Things always went down somewhere very private, typically Chuck's suite, and phones were never allowed. This didn't stop some of the girls from reaching out to Gossip Girl after they left_ of course_, but without solid proof, it was all hearsay.

But that time, when he decided to go _there_ with Serena, he couldn't even be bothered to give Blair the respect of being careful. They did it in a public space, he didn't use a condom, and he didn't even think twice about doing it which is what scared him most.

He chose the person closest to Blair even though he knew it could get back to her, and despite knowing that he still really enjoyed it.

He felt more wanted and pleased in those forty minutes with Serena than he had from all the amateur handjobs Blair had ever given him, and he hated himself for that.

Nevertheless, even though he felt bad, a subconscious part of him seemed to know that this would be the one indiscretion she would _finally_ not forgive him for.

It took time but he eventually gained the confidence to tell her the truth, knowing heartbreak was the only way they could both let each other go. Through that heartbreak awaited happiness for them both and that is what pushed him to finally tell her.

Yet to his surprise, like times before, she forgave him.

Which made him hate himself even more because it clearly showed _he_ was the only one with the issue, not her.

She was happy. He made her unhappy with the stupid decisions he continued to make. _He_ is what was making their relationship so miserable. She loved him. He might not really understand, or even always feel that love, but clearly it was there if she was always willing to forgive him time and time again.

Maybe it didn't really matter that they had nothing of substance to talk about, or that when he kissed her he didn't really feel much of anything at all.

It didn't matter that they never really laughed together unless they were in a group setting and it was someone else humoring them. Or that he enjoyed the touch of strangers more than he did hers.

None of that mattered because Blair always forgave him and that showed that she clearly cared for him in a way in which few others could. _That's_ what did matter...

So, as with most things, he would end up shelving his concerns for awhile.

But those doubts never fully left his mind, and lately, they had really started to eat away at him more and more.

Mainly the same one. He tried his best to push it away and ignore it, but it kept slowly easing its way back into center focus.

_'Ok, but are you actually happy?'_

"I asked because I really don't want to upset Blair. Things are still pretty fragile and I'm walking on eggshells as is. I don't want to cause more issues by getting Odette a birthday gift that says something it shouldn't."

At Nate's flustered response Chuck can't help but snicker to himself. It wasn't often that he saw Nate lose his cool. "Nathanial, you act like you've purchased a box of magnums and an edible thong for her?"

"No, that's all you." he gives his friend a quick glance over before shrugging, "Well, maybe not the magnums part."

Chuck shoots him the finger as he pulls out a cigarette to light, "Very funny. Look, I'm going to say something people don't often tell you... You're overthinking. What could that bracelet possibly say besides the fact that you have good taste?"

Nate ignores the slight jab at his intelligence, or lack thereof as the joke implied, "Blair and Serena are friends again but Blair is definitely still on edge about everything. She already knows I went after one of her friends, what if she thinks this gift is too nice and takes it as me planning to go after Odette too? I just don't want drama tonight man."

"You guys just fixed things, I'm sure Blair knows even you wouldn't be that dumb. Besides Nathanial, everyone knows there are tiers to jewelry-giving. Rings are the grand gestures of commitment, necklaces are reserved for women you love, and bracelets are the friendzone of jewelry." He waves his hand dismissively as he talks.

"How do you come up with this stuff?"

"I didn't, it's universally known? If a girl wears your ring that's the highest form of lockdown, or commitment. A necklace is the gift of 'love'." At this thought Chuck pauses, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, "You give a girl a necklace because you want to see it wrapped around her and want her to think of you when she wears it, which she will. Bracelets are _nice_. But just that. They're nothing very special and no real thought goes into them."

Nate looks down at the gift-wrapped bag in his hand, "Hey! I did put some thought into this? It's encrusted with her birthstone, which always happens to be her favorite color."

"Yeah well don't go saying all that to Blair or she really _is_ going to think you want to fuck her."

"You're shit at giving advice, I hope you know that." Nate shakes his head in dismay at how unhelpful Chuck proves himself to be time and time again. "You know, you never showed me what _you_ ended up getting for her?"

Chuck follows Nate's eye's to his own similarly gift-wrapped bag. He takes a long drag from his cigarette before shrugging and replying shortly, "A bracelet."

"Are you sure it's not a _necklace_?" Nate waggles his eyebrows mockingly at Chuck before promptly swatting away the exhaled smoke he shot his way in retaliation.

"Please. The only thing I'd give Odette to wear around her neck is a ball gag, or maybe even a nice shock collar."

At this comment, Nate's face drops. Chuck's lewdness was a part of who he was, it was his _charm_, but there were still times even after all these years of friendship that it still caught him off guard. "Jesus. You've got serious issues man."

"Sure," Chuck holds the door to the next store open for Nate and as he passes through adds, "but at least an insecure girlfriend isn't one."

"Touche..."

* * *

_"Happy Birthday Lovey Dovey!"_

"Thank you Nonnie." Odette practically fell into her statuesque grandmother's arms, fully allowing herself to be engulfed by the familiar warm embrace.

"You weren't waiting long, were you?" Vivianne raises a perfectly sculpted brow at her.

She had been, but she also didn't mind. Her grandparents were two of the only people on the planet she didn't mind waiting around on. "No, not at all." Looping arms with Vivianne they stroll through the grand foyer and towards the dining room.

David and Vivianne had several properties all over the state of New York but they called their townhouse on Madison Avenue, home.

Her grandparents' house was easily one of Odette's favorite places to be.

While certain rooms had been repainted, and floors had been redone, for the most part, the interior design hadn't changed much since she was a child. Or since her father was a child before her. Instead of getting rid of 'outdated' furniture and decorations, Vivianne had things repurposed or found a way to make it trendy once more. Their home was eclectic, everything came from different areas, and eras of their life.

Since she was a child Odette had found her grandparents home to be somewhat of a look into their souls. Their home was a representation of their very essence, beyond what the public knew of them. This is why, despite her never actually having lived there, she felt so at home.

"Oh Dove, I can't believe you're already sixteen. It feels like just yesterday you were a little thing, trying on my diamonds and attempting to strut around in my heels." As she reflects on simpler times Vivianne brushes some of Odette's hair out of her face before leaning in really close to whisper, "You were always my favorite."

Vivianne said this to all her grandchildren of course, but Odette always kind of knew that when she said it to her she meant it. "You're my favorite too, Nonnie."

_"What's this? Trying to break an old man's heart?" _

Looking over her shoulder Odette smiles as her grandfather walks out of his office to greet them, but her smile slightly drops as she sees Jordan follow shortly after him.

"Hey Pops."

"Happy Birthday kiddo." David pulls Odette in for a tight hug, planting a kiss on her forehead. His children would argue this was a sign of affection they rarely saw themselves and that he was getting soft with his old age but age had nothing to do with it, his grandchildren were what softened his typically hard exterior. They were the only ones to really get to see this _kinder_ side to him.

He would never talk about it out loud, but this large family he had built with Vivianne was truly what he considered his biggest accomplishment. "You feel any older?"

"Oh definitely." Odette nods sharply before ruffling his perfectly combed hair, "Soon I'll be as grey as you."

"You better hope not." David laughs boisterously, running his fingers through his now messy hair in an attempt to settle it.

"I won't allow it." Vivianne interjects with a small laugh. It didn't matter how old she got, Viv refused to allow herself to go grey like her husband. She paid an exorbitant amount of money every other week to maintain her beautiful blonde hair. Maintaining beauty at any age was something she often would preach to the many women that comprised her family. Odette was a teenager, but still no exception.

_"No Cort?"_

The sound of Jordan's voice made Odette's skin crawl.

It was taking an impressive amount of self-restraint to not roll her eyes at his question. Her plan to ignore him was instantly shot.

"No." Her response is short and not very sweet. She offers no further explanation because frankly, her sister drama was really none of his business. Besides... "You're not staying, right Jordan?" Everyone in the room is instantly somewhat taken aback at Odette's abrupt change of topics.

"I wouldn't dream of imposing on your birthday brunch. I only came to drop some things off to the old man." Jordan pats David on the back before moving around Odette and Vivianne to head towards the door, "Oh," he turns back to face the trio, "Happy Birthday though, Odette. Sixteen's a big one."

She realized this was his attempt at playing nice, but she wasn't up for the game today. The things she would like to say to him were not appropriate to say in front of her grandparents so in an attempt to bite her tongue she presses her lips tightly together and nods curtly to him before finishing her walk towards the dining room. She didn't want to waste another precious moment of her day on the likes of Jordan Leakes.

"This spread is phenomenal guys, thank you." Odette sits down at her usual spot, across from her grandmother, with David in between them at the head of the table.

David settles into his chair, wincing slightly as he feels an all too familiar pain run through his chest. A clear sign of his deteriorating health.

Three years prior David had suffered from a heart attack while in the Hamptons. It was a media frenzy and everyone found out within an hour of it happening. Eight months ago he had another one, much more serious, and no one but Viv and his team of health professionals had the faintest clue.

His family had been so worried the first time, he didn't want to bring them any more stress. Plus, most days he was somewhat in denial about it all. He also wanted to ensure no one in the business world, or the general public would know. The Rockefeller name had always been big, but David put a lot of work into making it powerful, and with that came people always searching for the weak link in the Rockefeller chain. He didn't want to admit to himself that it might be him.

David had served as CEO to Chase Manhattan Bank for several years. He had been an instrumental force in helping build the current landscape of Manhattan both fiscally and figuratively. In the late nineties, he gave his position at Chase to J.D and shifted his focus to the newly formed 'ROCK COR.'

ROCK COR. had several divisions within it ranging from public and private real estate to global media, and they were still _technically_ considered an oil conglomerate due to owning standard oil, in one way or another. David had always had big plans for growing the Rockefeller brand, but even he couldn't have imagined he would one day have a hand in every aspect of Manhattans professional world.

The Rockefeller's were everywhere. Charlotte was mainly a high-profile socialite but she married well. Her husband, Dean Reid, was a two-term Mayor of New York City who was currently waiting out his mandatory four-year break before running again, and with David's backing and influence, it was safe to say he'd win. David's youngest daughter Adrienne owned MOMA and curated Art from all over the world. J.D, while happy at Chase, was chomping at the bit for more. He wanted ROCK COR. but David wasn't ready to let go of that control just yet. He wasn't sure he ever would be.

But, David was getting older and all of his competitors were much younger and certainly used that to their own advantage. A lot of other powerful CEO's and media groups had been looking to push David out for some time now and we're waiting to watch the Rockefeller dynasty crumble. If they knew the state of his health it would be over for him. Over for all of them. For the greater good of the business, he knew he needed to carry on like nothing was wrong. But he was old, and he wasn't well.

David watches Odette, bright-eyed and picking at the different items of food. She was the epitome of health and youth. As special as this moment was, he couldn't help but wonder how many birthdays he had left to celebrate with her. "All your favorites."

"Yeah, this is my most special birthday tradition." Smiling to them both she reaches forward and takes hold of each of their hands, giving them a slight squeeze before resuming to filling her plate. "And these flowers?" She pauses, mid-reach for the ghost-shaped waffles, and lightly runs her finger along the edge of the crystal vase. "I think this is one of the most beautiful flower arrangments I've ever seen."

"Well, then I'm sure you will be keen to know that those flowers were actually a gift from Jordan and Ally." Taking a sip of her coffee Vivianne watches her granddaughters face distort at this revelation.

It was obvious she wasn't a fan of the family publicist. But Jordan was exceptionally good at his job. A lot of people didn't particularly like the Rockefellers, the family had seen their fair share of scandal. But Jordan had worked hard at improving their image and he also served as a close confidant to David, which to him was priceless. In their minds, he was indisposable. Odette probably had the least to do with Jordan's work which made her disdain for him even more questionable. Viv had chalked it up to Odette being a stubborn teenager that didn't like having someone employed by her family tell her what to do from time to time. But, they had an image to uphold and Jordan got paid to do just that. Odette would just have to learn to deal with it.

_'Why_ _would they get me a birthday present? Surely just to kiss grandfather's ass some more.'_

Noticing that a small note is attached to the flowers she grabs it and scans over the print. It read,

_'Happy Birthday Odete, heart symbol Ally and Jordan.'_

It was obvious from the misspelling of her name that the _misses_ penned the card. She was clearly all silicone boobs and no brains because who would _ever_ think to spell it like that. A jersey girl would, apparently. "It's a shame, they probably spent so much money on this and now it'll just wind up in the trash."

David clears his throat, giving Odette a very telling look. "I recall you just mentioning how beautiful they were?"

"I'm joking. They are." She throws her hands up in defense, giving David a gentle smile, "I'll make sure to send a thank you card."

Happy with this answer David bows his head to Odette ever so slightly before shifting his gaze to his wife, "Well Vivvy, do you want to lead us in prayer?"

"I want to do a special blessing too, Dove, since it's your birthday and all. We need to start sixteen off right."

The room falls silent as they all hang their heads and listen as Vivianne begins.

Odette wasn't incredibly strong in her faith, not in the way her grandmother wanted her to be at least, but she still found extreme comfort in hearing Vivianne recite prayers. Whether she believed in everything the Catholic Church taught was irrelevant, Vivianne was so devoted to her faith and Odette had to admire that about her.

Despite the fact that she really wanted to focus on the words her grandmother was saying all Odette could really think about was stupid Jordan and his clueless wife's beautiful gift. She hated that she loved the flowers so much, but she did. Obviously Mrs. Leakes had great taste. Maybe not in men, but certainly in floral arrangements.

Either way, she most definitely would _not_ be sending them a thank you card.

_"...Amen."_

* * *

Tonight was a particularly chilly night for October, but that didn't seem to faze the hoards of party-goers waiting in the line wrapped around 583 Park Avenue.

For an unspecified reason, the security team was only allowing groups of five to ten people in at a time. Which surprisingly didn't seem to bother many of those left waiting in the cold in _very_ revealing costumes.

In fact, the only person that seemed truly bothered was Dan Humphrey.

"All of this just for a party? This is stupid, I'm leaving."

As Dan moves to leave his place in line Jenny quickly takes hold of him by his arm and pulls him back, "Dan, we've already waited all this time. We're so close, just relax."

Normally she probably wouldn't care if Dan didn't want to buy into all this, in his owns words, _'elitist_ _bullshit'. _But Rufus had made it pretty clear that she wouldn't be allowed to go if Dan didn't. So here they were.

"Serena will be so disappointed if you blow her off, again."

"Alright, let's not forget why I had to 'blow her off' in the first place." Dan instantly felt guilty as he watched Jenny's face fall in shame at the mention of her incident at the Kiss on The Lips party. In an attempt to lift her mood he looks over her homemade costume, "You did a really good job on your costume Jen." He didn't like how much of her mid-drift it showed, or the number of zippers located in all the most concerning areas. But he wasn't their dad. However, he knew Rufus wouldn't have been so pleased himself. Which is why Jenny had worn her Princess Peach costume from two years ago and changed at the gas station around the corner. Dan didn't love helping Jenny sneak things by their dad but he also wanted her to have fun, and at least if they were together he could keep an eye out.

Hearing Dan's compliment Jenny's face lights up. The Bride wasn't her first choice of costume. But she knew her father wouldn't buy her the kind of costume she wanted to wear, and she also didn't think it was smart to spend money on something she was only going to wear once. Unlike her peers, she couldn't afford that luxury.

Sifting through the very back of her closet she had found a yellow jumpsuit that her mom had gotten her for Easter one year. Tailoring it a bit, and adding black trim down the sides all Jenny had left to do was splatter some fake blood across herself and suddenly her modest jumper was transformed into the classic costume. It had a 'generic version' look to it, but she had still managed to make it work.

"Thanks! You're costume..." Jenny's eyes scan her brother up and down as she tries to find the right words to say, "It's nice."

"That was underwhelming."

"Well no offense Dan, it just doesn't look like you put a lot of effort into your costume?" Jenny shrugged a bit, shifting her weight from one foot to another. They had been in line for over an hour and the anticipation was killing her, but there was only one more group ahead of them so she knew she just needed to be patient for a little while longer.

Dan looked down at his costume fully prepared to disagree with her assumption but to be fair, she wasn't wrong. He had long outgrown the Halloween tradition of dressing up. Even as a kid he had always found the whole thing kind of silly. This was mainly rooted in the fact he got teased every year for his costumes.

Once he was old enough to choose his own costumes, and go trick-or-treating alone, Dan had always dressed up as some of his favorite literary characters and authors. No one ever really got it and in turn, he was usually beaten up to some degree and his pillowcase of candy was always stolen.

Halloween had long ago stopped being fun for him and now being dressed up and surrounded by his peers, who either a. didn't know him or b. thought he was a loser, brought back all those old negative feelings.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket he decides to see who texted him instead of arguing his choice of costume with Jenny.

_To: Dan_

_From: Serena_

_Are you close? :) _

Despite feeling extremely out of his comfort zone, he couldn't deny that the text from Serena lifted his mood a bit. She was the whole reason why he was doing this after all. He wouldn't put himself in these uncomfortable situations if he didn't know she was waiting for him on the other side.

As security allows the next group of seven people into the building Jenny and Dan move to the front of the line, "Finally."

_"Hey man, we're not going to be able to let you in."_

Dan looked over his shoulder to see who security might be talking to but all of the people behind him were caught up in their own conversations.

_"Yeah, I'm talking to you."_

Dan looks up at the bouncer to see him staring directly back, "I'm sorry?"

"We have orders. No one is allowed in without a costume."

Jenny closes her eyes for a moment, cursing her brother's choice of _costume_ in her head. His inability to cut loose could be annoying from time to time, but she was really going to be upset if it kept her from this party.

_"...Dan?"_

* * *

The event space David had rented out for the night was well known amongst Manhattan's elite. In the past, this same building was used to host numerous charity and political events, but tonight the entire place had been transformed into a Halloween dream world.

The expansive first floor had been turned into a truly frightening haunted house with actors completely devoted to staying in character and scaring the hell out of everyone. This is why security had been instructed to only let small groups in at a time. Odette wanted to ensure everyone attending was completely surprised and more importantly, terrified. It might have been a bit mean to put everyone through such a scare, but it _was_ Halloween and that was part of the fun.

Once, and if, the party-goers could make it through the haunted house they were granted access to the second floor where the actual party was happening. The screams of her frightened guest below were completely blocked out by the loud music and chatter of all of the people that had already made it to the party.

The wait staff were all dressed in intricate and traditional Halloween costumes and moving around the party offering all types of hors d'oeuvres, and more importantly, shots.

_"Girls, let's toast!"_

Serena, dressed in Brittney's iconic schoolgirl costume, stops one of the waiters, dressed as a Pirate, and begins to pass out all the shots to the surrounding group of girls. After handing Odette hers Serena raises the small glass up, "Here's to the birthday girl! I hope sixteen is way better for you than it was for any of us," The girls burst into a fit of giggles, all nodding in agreement, "but seriously, here's to you Dette! Thank you for allowing us all to be here and celebrate your fabulous self." With a wink to the birthday girl, Serena clinks her glass against the other girls and they all quickly knock their shots back.

A shudder runs down Odette's spine as she feels the liquor burn all the way down her throat. Despite it being her fourth shot of the night, the alcohol was not seeming to go down any easier. "Okay, that shot was awful but thank you."

Serena wraps an arm around Odette pulling her in for a side hug as they both laugh together but before she can say anything back the two girls are pushed apart,

_"Why is Aspen Holloway here?" _

Blair, dressed head to toe in Holly Golightly's bedtime attire, had put herself between the two girls but her attention was solely focused on Odette. Judging by her tightly crossed arms, and firey stare, she was not happy. All the girls had been laughing just a minute before but now they had all fallen completely silent.

"What..?" Odette hadn't heard Blair the first time, caught off guard by her sudden interruption.

"God, are you drunk already?" Blair couldn't refrain from rolling her eyes, already picturing having to end the night by holding back Odette's hair as she puked into a communal toilet.

"No...I just didn't hear you, B." Odette was taken aback by the harsh tone of Blair's voice. Everyone knew Blair was fully capable of being a bitch, but her hostility wasn't usually directed at Odette.

"I asked why is Aspen here?" Blair spoke very slowly making a point to emphasize each word.

Blair was being completely condescending, it was awkward, and everyone could feel it.

"Because it's _my_ birthday and I can invite whoever I want?"

Odette wasn't used to Blair speaking to her with such an air of superiority, but Blair also wasn't used to Odette challenging her. Blair pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes ever so slightly before opting to drop the subject. For now. "Have any of you seen Nate?"

All the girls shook their heads. Despite the change of subject, there was still an awkward dead air surrounding the group.

Blair made direct eye contact with each girl waiting for any of them to say something of worth about _literally_ anything. But, of course, no one did. They were all just a bunch of sheep and while that is what Blair preferred, sometimes it did get rather annoying. She couldn't help but wonder how these girls even remembered how to breathe without her having to tell them to do so. "Well, I think you all should be the first to know...tonights the night." A triumphant smile begins to spread across her face as she talks but as she's met with blank stare it quickly falls, "_Meaning_, I'm going to take the next step with Nate." She bites this out, clearly once again perturbed by their incompetence.

"Congrats B." Kati raises her glass ever so slightly to the brunette.

"Wow, you're finally giving Nate head?" Hazel nods her head approvingly, readjusting her headband halo for the tenth time of the night.

"What? No." Blair's face twists in disgust, "I've told you guys, I don't do that. It's sickening."

The farthest Blair had ever gone with Nate was handjobs and some mild fingering, so it was easy to assume the next obvious step would be oral. Except, Blair found the idea of oral sex to be redundant. But she also had never been on the receiving end which might explain her lack of interest. She was probably one of the only girls on the whole Upper East Side that didn't want to give Nate Archibald a blowjob... it was comical, but also kind of sad.

Penelope's brows furrow for a minute before a devious smirk spreads across her face, only complimenting her choice of costume more so. "It's alright, B. It's not for everybody. You're vanilla, and that's okay."

Serena can't help but wince at Penelope's words, knowing that will make Blair's blood boil. As another wait staff passes by with more shots Serena stops him, "I'll take two of these. Thanks"

"I am _not_ vanilla!"

"It's okay Blair, it's nothing to be ashamed of." Penelope shrugs tapping her freshly manicured red nails against her glass.

"Not all guys care about that." Hazel offers, but her tone is weak and it's clear that even she hardly buys the statement coming out of her mouth.

Penelope looks at her counterpart for the night and shrugs, "Yeah, I guess Nate's one of those guys?" That's definitely not what she had heard through the grapevine but...

Looking between the costumed devil and angel in front of her Blair lets out a sigh of defeat as she rubs at her temples, "It's not like I haven't tried, I just can't do it." The idea of putting her mouth on something urine comes out of was repulsive, to say the least. No matter how hygienic Nate was she just didn't have it in her.

Serena wraps her arms around her best friend in an attempt to comfort her, "It's not a big deal Blair. You and Nate have been together forever, it's obviously not important to him."

Odette was trying incredibly hard to not make a face at Serena's comment. It was nice that she was trying to make Blair feel better, but it obviously was somewhat of a big deal because Nate had stepped out of his relationship to get something that he wasn't getting from Blair, and he got that _something_ from Serena herself. The reality of the situation was that Serena knew what Nate liked sexually more so than Blair.

_"What's with the face?"_

Pulled from her thoughts by Blair's question Odette struggles to keep eye contact with her, "N-nothing."

"No, you clearly were thinking something. So say it."

At this point, all the girl's eyes have shifted back to her and Odette was feeling extremely put on the spot. She wouldn't, _couldn't_, tell Blair what she was actually thinking. But she also wasn't thinking quickly enough to come up with a valid sounding alternative.

_"Oh look B, there's Nate!"_

Serena nudges Blair, pulling her focus off Odette and towards Nate and Chuck as they come up the stairs.

Odette had never been so thankful for a save. Following everyone else's stare, she has to stifle a laugh as Nate approaches their group.

"Superman, sweetie? What are you, five?" Blair was obviously annoyed with his choice of costume but Odette didn't understand how she couldn't have expected this. This costume was _so_ Nate Archibald.

"I think it's great," Odette comments, reaching out to poke at his padded muscles. "And you?" her focus shifts to Chuck, "Where's the pet tiger?"

Chuck smirks, "Happy Birthday."

"Thanks."

"I don't get it, what are you Chuck?" Iz's face is puzzled as she looks over Chuck's white suit. Besides the fact that white suits were tacky, outside of Hamptons parties, Chuck didn't look all that different from his everyday self.

_"Girl, seriously? Scarface, duh." _

Coco approaches the group, drink in hand, but her eyes are completely focused on Chuck, "That's a great costume, Chuck."

Looking over the youngest Rockefeller's choice of costume Chuck struggles with the right thing to say, "And that's...that's a costume. Pretty Woman right?"

Her eyes light up, surprised but pleased that Chuck even knew the movie well enough to catch on, "Yeah, it's my all-time favorite movie."

Odette scoffs, "Since when?"

Coco's head snaps to her older sister, shooting her daggers, "Since forever. But um...nice princess costume sis, I think mom had me wear the same one when I was six."

Hearing Cortney's clap back to Odette, Pennelope and the other girls don't even bother trying to hide their amusement.

"Mhm." First Blair, now Coco. Honestly, both girls were working her last nerve. "I'm gonna go get some air..." Odette excuses herself from the group walking towards the back exit to avoid winding up back in the haunted house.

Noticing Odette walk-off Blair quickly follows behind her, "Hey, Birthday Girl?"

Of course, she recognizes her voice instantly, and as much as she wanted to try to play it off like she didn't hear her, she couldn't. Turning around Odette is all smiles as Blair closes the remaining distance between them.

"It's your birthday O, so I'm going to let you be a bitch if you want to. But don't think your little comment from earlier went unnoticed. I'm letting it slide since you're my friend and it's your big day, but don't expect me to be so kind again." Despite the obviously threatening message Blair smiles sweetly to her friend, her dimples on full display. She then leans forward and pats Odette on the head before returning back to their group. As she watches Blair walk away Odette is left standing there, stunned by her behavior.

In the past couple years of their friendship, Blair and Odette had never had an altercation like this. Blair had never looked at her, or spoken to her, the way she did tonight. At least, not as far as Odette was aware.

But then again what did she really know? The way Blair had been treating her tonight was exactly how she always treated the other girls, and she trash-talked them behind their backs constantly. Who's to say she hadn't been doing that to Odette all along? Maybe they weren't as close as she thought... She didn't want to believe that was true but she had seen a new side to Blair tonight and she wasn't particularly impressed.

Hurrying down the steps, she's even more eager than before for some fresh air.

This was her sixteenth birthday, this was a birthday she had dreamed of for years. It was supposed to be special, and so far it definitely didn't feel like that.

_"We have orders. No one is allowed in without a costume."_

As Odette approaches the large main entrance she overhears security turning someone away. She felt a little bad but there was really no excuse to not be in costume. She had made a big enough deal about it to everyone she invited and honestly, she was kind of tired of people blatantly disrespecting her on _her_ day. Rolling her eyes, she stretches her head around the large guard to see who it was.

"...Dan?"

Dan's head is buried in his hands as he tries to think of how to explain his costume, in the most simplified of ways, to this meathead security. As he hears someone call his name he looks up to see a platinum blonde Odette. "Uh, hey Odette. Happy Birthday..." he offers, awkwardly making a half-assed spirit fingers gesture with his hands.

"Oh, no, no... don't do that." Odette cocks her head to the side, feeling extreme second-hand embarrassment for him.

"Yeah, I don't know why I did..." Dan doesn't even bother finishing his sentence, "Odette, do you think you could maybe help us out here?"

_"Not 'us' buddy, you. Blondie is good to go."_

As the security guard points to Jenny, giving her his stamp of approval, her face lights up. "Awesome!" She moves around Dan and both security guards make way for her to enter the party.

"Jen, seriously?" Dan calls after her, shocked his little sister would leave him like this.

"Sorry Dan! Should've tried a little harder with your costume." Jenny laughs a bit, never bothering to look back at her brother as she squeezes past Odette standing in the doorway.

"Unbelievable."

"Yeah, little sisters are never as loyal to us as we are them, unfortunately. It's kind of the curse of being the older sibling." Odette bites at her bottom lip for a moment before looking at her security team, "Guys, he's a friend of mine. He's good. Doesn't listen to simple directions it seems, but he's good."

Despite all the grief they had been giving him, as soon as Odette came out and said he was 'good' just like that he was. That explained this world to tee. "Finally, thank you." His words drip of sarcasm as he moves past security. Before he completely enters the building he turns back to Odette, "You coming?"

Leaning against the large door frame Odette offers him a small shrug in response.

"Excuse my saying so, but it's your birthday and yet you look pretty miserable."

"Gee, thanks." His words make Odette smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I guess I just expected today would go differently."

Of the people Dan went to school with, he would probably consider himself closest to Odette. However, that wasn't saying a whole lot because he really didn't know her all that well. He got the impression most people didn't. Regardless, he could still tell something was definitely off about her tonight.

"Everybody puts too much pressure on themselves when it comes to big birthdays," he didn't but most people seemed to, certainly Upper East Side princesses, "it's normal to feel like it didn't live up to what you expected." Dan felt a bit ridiculous saying this.

583 Park Avenue was one of the most high-end event spaces in Manhattan, and this party was one of the most lavish he had ever seen and he hadn't even been inside yet.

His sixteenth birthday had been his first one since his parents had split and he had naively thought that they could all come together as a family for the day. But instead, the day of, Rufus made chili and they played scrabble with Jenny, and then that weekend he went to Hudson and saw Allison and Mackenzie. Alone. _That_ was a bad birthday, not this. The people in this world had no idea how lucky they were and therefore had no appreciation for any of it. But, it was her day so he could spare her the 'Metropolitan; me v. you' monologue for the night.

She knew Dan couldn't really understand, but she appreciated his effort nonetheless. "So, what's the deal with the no costume thing?"

"Seriously? I am in costume. The gelled hair and glasses doesn't give it away?" Dan gestures to himself, getting somewhat _huffy _over the fact that no one was getting it.

"That's part of your costume?" At this revelation Odette can't hold back her laughter, "I thought maybe you ran out of contacts or something."

"Ha ha." Dan comments back dryly, once again regretting ever showing up to this party and subjecting himself to any of this. This was his childhood all over again. He was fully prepared for Odette to take out his knees and steal his candy next.

"Well, _why_ are you wearing your school uniform? To anybody that doesn't know you, and sorry Dan but most people don't, you look like an average, every day, St. Judes student."

He could somewhat see her point, but he refused to digress, "It's the only suit jacket that I own, and I'm supposed to be Clark Kent."

"That's tragic." Every man should own a suit, just as every woman should have a little black dress. "Ah, Clark Kent. I guess I can see that. Maybe if you had worn the Superman costume underneath it would have translated better?"

"Well, I actually do have a Superman t-shirt on underneath."

"Then unbutton that shit!" Odette quickly moves to unbutton most of Dan's shirt for him, revealing his faded blue t-shirt underneath, "See, there we go. Now, you look like Clark Kent," kind of, "if Clark Kent was, you know...a student at St. Judes."

"Thanks." In retrospect, this was probably something Dan should have thought about, but since he didn't, he appreciated Odette's help. "Did you wanna head into the party now?"

She wasn't entirely sure she even wanted to go back but it was her birthday and all these people were here to celebrate her. It would be in incredibly poor taste for her to bail on her own party, "Yeah, come on." As Dan follows her inside Odette casually drops in, "I hope you don't scare easily Humphrey"

"Uh, what do you mean by that?"

* * *

The party was a hit, though that was expected. After all, everyone loves a good theme party.

Everyone was also drunk which really helped.

As drunk as Odette was she couldn't get the bad taste, left from Blair, out of her mouth.

Odette wanted to put the situation behind her, but it had been lingering in the back of her mind all night. Their previous exchange really bothered her, and worst of all it didn't seem to faze Blair at all. The two of them were lounging on a couch with Hazel, talking like they always did. But every time Blair spoke Odette's annoyance with her only grew.

It was frustrating, as well as somewhat disheartening, to think that Blair could talk to her the way she did and then act as though nothing had happened.

"I can't believe Coco really dressed up as a hooker." Blair burst into a fit of giggles as she sips on a glass of champagne.

Odette didn't have the patience or energy to point out the irony of Blair, dressed as Holly Golightly, poking fun at Coco for dressing up as a hooker.

She continues to stay silent, listening as the two girls ramble on and on about truly insignificant things. But her focus is on anyone but Blair.

Looking around the crowded room it makes her happy to see everyone having a good time, she only wishes she could share in their enthusiasm.

At the bar she notices Kati and Iz chatting up a sophomore boy from St. Judes. She recognizes all their signature moves and knows they've found their victim for the night. Poor kid was not going to know what to do with both of them.

Odette cracks a small smile as she realizes Kati is missing her cottontail, and Iz her bunny ears. They were also both swaying in place, barely able to stand on their own. They were the roughest looking playboy bunnies she had ever seen, but there were two of them and what teenage boy would ever turn down a threesome with two bunnies?

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a figure moving in her direction. Turning to see who it is she's pleasantly surprised to see Chuck approaching her.

"Hey, I haven't really seen much of you tonight."

That was a lie. While dancing with Serena, earlier in the night, she had spotted him in the corner chatting up Alexis Lombardi. Alexis was a friend of Odette's, but she was also super easy so Odette had made a point of keeping a careful eye on them for the remainder of the night.

"My birthday gift to you." He jokes, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, "Swan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

_"...dressed as a slutty nurse. Could she be any less original? Or desperate."_

"Sure." Normally she wouldn't give Chuck much of her time, but right now, even time spent with him was better than sitting here listening to Blair and Hazel play fashion police.

Watching as she extends her hand to him Chuck helps to gracefully pull her up from the low-sitting couch. However, once she's up he lets go of her hand, not wanting to give the wrong idea.

"Follow me..." He nudges his head over towards one of the various side hallways.

The two walk, in complete silence, away from the on-going party and towards one of the empty storage rooms. As Chuck holds the door for her Odette slips under his arm and moves to sit on the sole benched seat in the room. After a moment Chuck joins her, but he doesn't say anything right away. He takes a moment to study her face, and also takes the time to fully think through what he wants to say.

"I like your costume." This isn't what he had called her away to talk about, but it was worth noting that he did. Especially after he had overheard the other girls laughing at Cortney's previous comment at her expense.

Odette was dressed as Princess Aurora.

Her dress almost matched the cartoon princess perfectly except for the fact it was hemmed to be much, _much_, shorter. The form-fitting pink chiffon dress cut off just above her mid-thigh, and even as they sat there he noticed her sly attempts to pull it down as it inched up further.

He liked her costume _a lot_.

"Thank you." The way Chuck's eyes bore into her made her feel incredibly nervous. He had this certain, unnerving, effect on her but she didn't seem to have any type of effect on him at all. He always seemed completely cool and collected. "What did you want to talk about?" She finally breaks eye contact and instead focuses on the sparkles on her dress. She tries to count each individual one, in an attempt to calm her growing nerves.

"Well, it is your birthday. I wanted to give you your gift." As he speaks, he pulls a velvet Cartier box from his suit pocket and presents it to her. "I have another gift for you too, but I'll bring it to you another time. It's fragile."

"Awe, just what I wanted for my birthday," Odette's eyes drift from the velvet case up to Chuck, her eyes twinkling in bemusement, "Chuck Bass's ego."

His lips twist into a half-smile, but instead of saying anything in response he props the jewelry box open so she can see the contents inside.

Settled into a cushion of emerald satin was a diamond tennis bracelet.

"Chuck, it's so pretty... but I can't accept this."

"Sure you can. I mean it's just a bracelet. Nate got you one too." Chuck offered, placing the piece of jewelry on her delicate wrist, and latching it into place.

"Nate got me a diamond bracelet that looks like it costs the tuition of Constance?" She called his bluff. Nate might have gotten her a bracelet, but it certainly wasn't as extravagant as this.

Chuck shrugs this off, "Nathanial's money is tied up in trusts, my money is much more disposable." It was true, but even he knew he was dancing around the point.

Odette lifts her wrist up to study the way the jewels shimmer in the light and something catches her eye, "Wait," taking a closer look it becomes apparent that this wasn't your typical, every day, tennis bracelet that one would see in the jewelry store windows. All the diamonds were formed into tiny, intricate, swans. She takes the box from Chuck's hand and studies the label running across it, "Cartier, hm? You know I get a lot of my jewelry from them... and I've never seen this in-store or even in their vault?"

It was obvious he had placed a custom order in for this particular gift. He knew it, and now she knew it too.

"It's nothing." Chuck straightens his posture, pulling back from her. He wanted to give her the gift, but he didn't want her overthinking the _deeper_ meaning of it because there was none.

Watching Chuck pull away, putting distance between them, Odette can sense he's quickly putting his walls up and she knows better than to push him. This softer side to Chuck rarely ever came to the surface, and when it did it was always fleeting. "Thank you."

"Well, now that the kind gesture is out of the way..."

"Ah, there it is." She should have known Chuck had an ulterior motive. His intentions were never pure.

Ignoring her comment completely he continues, "I have to mention that I've been hearing that you've been talking a lot of shit about me recently. Saying that I'm _'not special'_, and '_I don't think any woman is special', _and I just don't really think that's a fair assumption."

_'Coco and her big mouth.' _She should have predicted that Cortney would go running to Chuck. She was drawing a clear line in the sand of where her loyalty was.

Odette was tracing the part of her dress where the fabric and skin of her thigh met, but at his words, she looks up at him and they stare at each other in silence for what feels like a very long time.

"Just because I haven't met a woman I consider special _yet_ doesn't mean I never will. There's hope for me."

That wasn't where she had been expecting him to go with that, but she also couldn't be surprised, "Haven't you heard? There's no hope for any of us. Least of all you."

Chuck shakes his head, an actual smile spreading across his usually solemn face as he taps his fingers along the bench they were seated on. "You flirt with me a lot."

Completely caught off guard Odette's mouth falls slightly agape as she scrambles for something witty to say. Unfortunately, she was really off her game tonight. After a few beats pass she finally responds, "I insult you any chance I get, what do you mean I flirt with you?" He made his statement with so much certainty that it almost pissed her off. Who was he to say something like that to her?

"You do talk badly about me." He agrees with her on this point, "But, if I were as awful as you paint me to be, in your own words, why would you be here alone with me right now?"

"Because..." Odette focused on an art piece on the adjacent wall, desperately trying to ignore the fact that she could feel Chuck's eyes on her. He stared at her as if he was staring at her naked body and not her stoic face. It made her feel vulnerable, and she didn't like it. "Because even surrounded by lots of people, I've felt completely alone all night. I don't like to be alone and, whether you admit it or not, you don't either. Misery loves company or whatever."

"Well," Chucks abruptly offers his hand to her. She turns and stares at his outstretched hand, and then back up at him, with a perplexed expression before cautiously taking hold of his hand, "It's nice to meet you Misery, I'm company."

Rolling her eyes Odette fights the flushed feeling behind her cheeks, "That was _so_ lame. I don't understand how you pull the number of girls that you do when you're out here saying stuff like that." She made a point to not acknowledge what he was implying with that careful play on words.

"You need to be a man of many words to keep a woman, but to get her you just need to be a man of action. You should remember."

At the mention of their _brief_ past history, Odette stiffens ever so slightly. It wasn't a period of time she remembered very fondly.

"What I remember... is you telling everyone what an awful kisser I was."

Chuck grimaced, "Well, you weren't great."

"You're such an ass!" Odette exclaims in amused shock. Chuck had continuously shown his true colors, she couldn't really fault him for living up to it. "In my defense, you were my first kiss and I didn't know what I was doing yet."

Even though he had been laughing at her previous comment at this revelation he abruptly stops, "Wait, really? I was your first?" This was news to him.

"Yeah. And you, you're Chuck Bass. You have tons of experience and were a great kisser, _obviously_. I felt really good about it all until I showed up to school Monday morning and everyone was teasing me about being your '_worst kiss ever'_." It had easily been one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. All ill-feelings she had for Chuck stemmed from this period of time. Coincidentally, all other, confusing-feelings she had for Chuck also stemmed from this period of time.

"Worst kiss ever is a bit of a stretch..." Chuck rubs at the back of his neck, not completely sure what the right thing to say here was, "I'm sorry, I had no idea. I wouldn't have said anything had I known. Honestly."

Odette nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She was wearing a wig but was still so nervous that she felt the need to play with her faux hair out of habit. "I mean, thank you for the apology but you shouldn't say anything regardless Chuck. Whether you were my first kiss or my three hundredth, it was nobody else's business and it should have stayed between us."

This was a situation that had been weighing on her for a long time, and while it felt good to put it out there it also felt extremely exposing to let him see how much he had hurt and embarrassed her.

"I hear you. Sometimes I get a little too caught up in the game of it all I guess."

That proved her entire point. None of that had been a game to her, it was her life. She had really liked Chuck and thought he really liked her too. Maybe that was naive, but she was only fifteen at the time, and he broke not only her confidence but her heart a little bit too.

Thankfully she had come a long way since last year.

"Yeah well, it's all ancient history at this point and no thanks to you, I've learned a thing or two. I've had no other complaints."

At this implication he laughs, but isn't particularly humored by the thought, "I don't doubt that. But, _I_ was down to teach you a thing or two."

"Crazy concept, but maybe you shouldn't have told anyone that I was so bad and then you could have. Now, what use are you to me?" She was only joking, but her tease came out as more of a challenge than anything.

Chuck chews on the inside of his lip for a moment before reaching out and taking hold of her hand again. He carefully examines the way his gift looks on her dainty wrist before looking back up at her, "You... can use me for whatever you want."

As the words leave his lips Odette can feel her heart rate pick up ever so slightly. "We should probably get back to the party." She pulls her hand away from him and stands up in one fluid motion. "Thank you again for the present."

It felt like maybe a moment had been building between them, but maybe it was for the best it never reached its peak. Her and Chuck were a bit, 'been there, done that'.

"As I said, it's nothing." As he stands up he notices that his white suit had started to wrinkle and attempts to swat the gathered fabric apart.

_'Yeah, nothing...' _

"Here let me help you with that, I wouldn't want people seeing you all disheveled and getting the wrong impression." She moves closer to him, running her hands over his suit with just the right amount of pressure.

"Again." Chuck adds in coyly.

"He's got jokes." With a final trace of her fingers down his chest, she smoothes down the last bit of wrinkled fabric before smiling up at him, "I think you're good to go Mr. Montana."

As her hands drop back to her sides they're left in comfortable silence and their eyes meet once again. But this time he doesn't hold her gaze. His eyes flicker from her cerulean eyes, down to her naturally pouted lips, and back.

From there, it all happened so quickly and yet also very slow.

Odette can feel Chuck inch closer to her, _'What. The. Fuck?' _

She needed to stop this before it went any further. She couldn't allow herself to be left in the same position she was last year.

_If_ she wanted to stop this, now was the time.

She _should_ want to stop this, but she didn't. She couldn't deny her body's natural reaction to him.

She wanted him.

Which was disturbing on several levels, but that was something she would have to work out in her next session with Dr. Windsor. For now, she was fully enjoying the moment. The mistakes she made now were her future self's problem.

She tilts her head slightly, to give him better access to her, and finally, Chuck closes the remaining distance between them as his lips connect with her own.

It wasn't a hasty, 'This-is-a-predecessor-to-me-getting-you-naked-so-I-can-fuck-you', kiss. This was different. He started very slow, kissing her as if she might break under his touch.

He was almost stiff from his own nerves, kind of like he was bracing himself for her to stop him and pull away at any moment. But as he feels her lips graze along with his own, reciprocating his movements and not trying to stop it, the air around them shifts and he begins to kiss her deeper.

He tastes like whiskey and cinnamon, just as she remembered. Despite usually hating the taste of the brown liquor, in this moment she couldn't get enough of it. His lips were a little rough, maybe he needed a little chapstick, but she didn't mind. In fact, she almost liked the sensation of his lips scraping against her own.

With both hands wrapped around her waist Chuck walks her back until she's pressed firmly up against the door. Her lips were plump and her body felt so warm against him.

She smelled faintly of eucalyptus and honey, it was her signature scent but he was rarely allowed to be close enough to her to notice. In this moment, however, it heightened everything.

He pulls back from her taking the moment to catch his breath. This was when he would progress things to the next level. After all, kissing was just foreplay and really did nothing for him. _Usually_.

But there was something about this kiss he wasn't quite ready to move on from just yet.

Odette was short, even in heels. Chuck was several inches taller than her so he had to get on her level to be able to reach her lips. Cupping her face with his hands he simultaneously leans into her while pulling her further into him as their lips meet again. In that moment he wanted her as close to him as humanly possible. He wanted to feel her everywhere.

He kisses Odette as if he's savoring every last bit of her.

And his kiss completely sets her insides on fire.

* * *

ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴄᴀʀɪᴇsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴏᴜsᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴡɪsᴇʀ...

**sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ:** ᴀᴛ 𝟻𝟾𝟹 ᴘᴀʀᴋ ᴀᴠᴇɴᴜᴇ

ᴏᴅᴇᴛᴛᴇ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇғᴇʟʟᴇʀ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴄʜᴜᴄᴋ ʙᴀss ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀɴ ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ sᴛᴏʀᴀɢᴇ ʀᴏᴏᴍ.

ɪ'ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ʜᴇ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ sᴏʀᴛs ᴏғ ᴛʀɪᴄᴋs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛs. ɪ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟɪɴɪᴄ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇ 'ʀᴏᴜᴛɪɴᴇ' sᴄʀᴇᴇɴɪɴɢs sᴏᴏɴ.

ᴅɪᴅ ᴡᴇ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪs ʟᴀsᴛ ʏᴇᴀʀ, ᴏ?

ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪᴍ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʟᴜᴄᴋ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ᴏғғ ɴᴏᴡ.

** ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴋɪᴛᴛᴇɴs,**

ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴄᴋ sᴛʀɪᴋᴇs ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ ɪs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. sᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀsᴋs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇs ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴ. ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴅᴀʏ ɪᴛ's sᴏᴄɪᴀʟʟʏ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟғ, ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴛᴏᴏ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ sᴇᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ, sᴏ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴡɪʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ. ʙᴜᴛ ғᴏʀ ɴᴏᴡ...

ɪᴛ's ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ.

**ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴊ**, ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴜᴍᴘᴋɪɴ ᴄᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ɪs ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀss ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʙʀᴏᴏᴋʟʏɴ. **s**, ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴍɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴡ ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ-ғʀᴏɢ. ᴀɴᴅ **ᴏ**, ɪᴛ's ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇss. **ʙ** ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟᴇᴅ, ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ sʜᴇ's ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ғᴏᴄᴜs ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙʀɪɴɢs ᴀ ᴍᴇᴀɴ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴇʀ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ɪғ ɪ ᴡᴀs ɪɴ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟᴇss ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ɪ'ᴅ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ ᴛᴏᴏ... ᴏʜ ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ɪ ᴀᴍ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴀʀsʜɴᴇss ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ ʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ sʜᴏᴡ ᴍᴇ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅs ᴏғ sᴜʙᴍɪssɪᴏɴs. ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ ғᴏʀᴄᴇ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ's ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ. sᴜɢᴀʀ ᴀɴᴅ sᴘɪᴄᴇ ᴍᴀʏ ʙᴇ ɴɪᴄᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ's ɴᴏᴛ ɴᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴀs ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴀs ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʙʟᴀɪʀ?

ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴɢᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴘᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ, ɪ'ᴅ ʙᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ.

** xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ**

* * *

_So there we have it… I feel like there is a lot to unpack with this chapter? Maybe not. But there is one thing I really want to take the time to address and I hope all of you will read this:_

_Each chapter I try to give a bit of insight on some of the core canon-characters featured in this story. Obviously, we all know and love the canon characters from the show/books(or we wouldn't be reading/writing fanfiction for it!) I do try to keep the characters pretty accurate to how they are depicted in the show and/or novels. But this is also a FanFiction and in the context of the GG world in which ***my*** story takes place, I do analyze and write them a bit differently... _

_However, I'm aware that just because I choose to do that, doesn't mean everyone is going to like it._

_It's okay to have negative reactions to some of the things I'm going to write about and explore in this story. In fact, I want that? As weird as that might seem? I'm ***attempting*** to write this story in as much of a raw/real way as I can and unfortunately, there are loads of negative instances in life. So, therefore, there will be negatives in this story as well. _

_If you are still reading this then surely you know exactly what I'm dancing around right now._

_***gasp*** I've made our golden-boy not so very golden… _

_But I mean, Nate was never really a perfect human being in the first place guys! He has flaws just like the rest of us of course. Flaws are what makes us wonderfully human after all!_

_ It's important for me to mention that I don't think that because Nate cheats he's a bad guy and that was not my intention in writing this. I took **a lot** of time working and rewriting Nate's section because I wanted it to be read in a way where he doesn't seem scummy, but rather he seems deeply unhappy and lost. Because the fact is people don't always cheat strictly for the thrill or the physical stuff or because they can't handle monogamy. Sometimes people cheat to feel connected to someone, even if just for a little bit. Because they feel ***that*** disconnected from the person they're with. It's shitty but it does happen. __Cheating is awful and I'm not condoning it but I also think it's ***way*** more interesting to explore Nate cheating for deeper reasons than just him being 'madly in love with Serena' like they cover in the show. I think Nate is deeper and more complex than that and he deserves to be written as such. I want to explore WHY does he *think* he's in love with Serena? WHY does he cheat as opposed to just leaving Blair? WHAT will make Nate happy? WHAT will make him grow?_

_I truly hope I haven't terribly upset anyone or turned anyone away from reading this story by taking this leap of creative freedom. My hope is that those of you that are reading and really capturing the feel of this story and this world will totally get it and most importantly, just trust me ;) And if you don't, you need to because there will be more instances in the future of me taking creative direction with our beloved canon's. But I promise it's all for a purpose and my hope, is that you might even appreciate some of these characters more once you get to know them a bit more in-depth... but we shall see._

_If you have continued to read this far, thank you for your continued support! I would love to hear what you think about the chapter and I'll be back with a new one very soon. _


	7. chapter six

_With everything going on right now I want to take a moment to let everyone reading this know that I'm sending all of you massive virtual hugs. __I sincerely hope that each of you, and all your loved ones, are safe and remain healthy during this ongoing crisis.__ There is so much pain and fear in our world right now, for a lot of reasons, but we have to remember that we're all in this together. To anyone out there that needs to hear it, you are not alone. _

_ Each of us can do our part though and what better way to practice social distancing then to stay inside and read a nice FF update, yeah? :)_

_Now, I'm not going to lie, this chapter has been done for well over a week now._

_With everything going on in the world right now, as well as some general anxiety issues, I had a lot of difficulty with getting this chapter edited and ended up avoiding FFnet completely. But, I finally buckled down and got it done and here we are..._

**_***IMPORTANT NOTE PLS READ: _****_before I get on my soapbox I want to mention that this chapter was heavily influenced by the song 'Linger' by 'The Cranberries'. If you can, I highly suggest you head over to youtube right now and give it a listen. I wrote the entire first part of this story while listening to my old Cranberries album, with specifically 'Linger' on repeat. I *personally* think the song playing in the background will elevate all the emotions of the first part of this story if you listen(on repeat) to it as you read. ****_**

_I am ***so*** blown away with the amount of traction I got from this last chapter... thank you all so much! Feedback in the form of favorites/follows, reviews, and pms really serves as the best motivation for me to get another chapter out._

_I'm writing this fanfic because I truly love this character and want to tell her story, but it makes it really worthwhile to know there are people out there along for the ride with me. I'm so happy to hear that some of you have taken a liking to Odette. A lot of pressure comes with writing an original character and trying to make her stand out from the canon characters. So to each of you that has made a point of leaving feedback over the course of this story so far, _

_Rachem, Raging Raven, torikay28, bubbliciousbeauty, femmefatale95, Purplestan and other guest reviewers, _

_**thank you**._

_And to the one guest reviewer out there that mentioned my writing reminds you of another writer on here (because we both put a lot of details) I love that and will definitely check said fellow writer out!_

_Lastly, (if you read these you knew this was coming) a huge thank you to my friend 'greyspaces'. S, I've said it before but this story would never have been posted if not for the inspiration you give! I'm beyond thankful to be on this crazy writing journey with you. _

_Alright well guys, buckle in. We are just barely getting started, and there is so much fun drama ahead. Stick with me and I promise you won't be disappointed!_

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS MENTIONS, DRUG AND ALCOHOL ****USE**

**_WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS._**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any and all mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true family.

* * *

_"And in the end, all he learned was to be strong alone."_

* * *

_November_

* * *

Living in New York guaranteed you would live a fast-paced life. You had to, to keep up with the ever-moving city.

Being born and raised on the Upper East Side had an even more direct effect.

It was the opposite of Peter Pan's Neverland, rather than never growing up, kids were forced to grow up way too quickly.

With parents that were rarely around, and hired help that came and went, children were rarely ever allowed to be children for long. They were too busy raising themselves, trying to navigate the world around them, and overall, dealing with things _far_ beyond their maturity levels.

Chuck Bass was no exception.

He stopped being a child at the age of eight, but from what little childhood he was allowed, he did enjoy it.

Chuck was the only child of Bartholomew and Evelyn Bass.

Bart was born and raised poor by parents who always aspired for more but were never able to achieve it. Due to this upbringing, Bart had worked incredibly hard to build himself up as a new-money, real estate mogul. But in his efforts to reach the very top of his career goals Bart sacrificed a typical home life. He worked extremely late hours and was constantly traveling all over the nation and world, brokering deals.

However, instead of being left to a nanny, like most, Chuck got to spend all his time with his mother, which he loved.

Evelyn took a great deal of pride in being a mother.

Born and raised poor, she was extremely grateful for the life her husband gifted her but, it didn't make her happy. Chuck did. _Most of the time at least_.

Evelyn had undiagnosed mental health issues that she had been battling with for the majority of her life. Shortly before meeting Bart, she had been put on a fair dosage of Lexapro, and it helped. _Most of the time_.

After suffering several miscarriages early in their marriage, both Evelyn and Bart were elated when they finally successfully delivered a healthy baby boy. Even several months after giving birth Evelyn had not seemed to lose her 'pregnancy glow'. She was bubbly, and kind, and a doting wife and mother. She saw her baby as a new lease on life and Chuck brought color and happiness to her world in a way that nothing else had. So, with this newfound feeling of complete and total happiness, she decided to stop taking her medication. She would still refill her prescriptions and go through the motions for Bart's sake but he was so busy out there providing for them he hardly noticed what was happening in Evelyn's day-to-day.

From a young age Chuck began to notice some of his mothers' eccentric behaviors. But he had always viewed them as part of her charm; she was an extremely free spirit. It was surprising to think that someone as structured and cold as Bart Bass could be with someone as quirky and warm as Evelyn. But they made it work, somehow, someway.

Mainly they worked because they never had to fully live a life together. While Bart was constantly away, Evelyn and Chuck were left to have all the fun.

The young mother would take her son on lavish shopping trips down 5th avenue, only to turn around and give everything they purchased out to homeless people on the streets. She would take Chuck to all sorts of museums and educate him on various subjects. Not all of her teachings were accurate, but they were certainly entertaining.

But Chuck's favorite thing to do with his mother was to go to the ballet.

She started taking him at the age of four, which seemed far too young for something so highbrow but Chuck was a very calm and mostly quiet child, and within that first showing he became completely transfixed. He loved watching the dancers bodies move, gracefully telling a story.

Ballet was a pastime he was sure he could never grow bored of, and Evelyn loved being able to share that with her son. She had been a beautiful dancer in her youth, but due to her own inner demons, she had lost her passion. But she could see that same light in Chuck's eyes that had once filled her own, so when Chuck had come to her saying that he wanted to take ballet she was all too eager to sign him up.

And he was a natural.

Watching his very first practice reduced Evelyn to tears. Not only was he a beautiful dancer, but he was a happy child. She was both elated that her son could feel so passionately about something, even at such a tender age, and also somewhat jealous because _pure_ happiness came so effortlessly to him.

Chuck was only able to attend ballet lessons for a month before Bart caught wind of it all. Bart had been raised in a rougher area of Queens, and was firmly against his only son doing such _girly_ activities. He was concerned it would make him soft.

Evelyn and Bart fought back and forth on the subject but ultimately, like with most things, Bart won the battle.

Chuck had been crushed, but his father was quick to sign him up for other, more _appropriate_, activities to entertain him. Sports like, PeeWee soccer, hockey, and baseball. He didn't mind those, he had even met a friend during his first soccer season, but none of the sports had enraptured him the way ballet did.

Knowing how much of his heart still belonged to the art form Evelyn continued to support Chuck's passion for ballet by taking him to any openings they could attend.

_"You know," Evelyn leaned down to get as close to Chuck's level as she could, "back in high school I did this ballet."_

_Chuck looked up to his mother, eyes wide in amazement, "Really? I think this is my favorite." He was only saying that because of the connection it had to his mom but it was sweet nonetheless._

_Suddenly a woman sitting next to Chuck looked over and hissed at him, "You really shouldn't be talking."_

_ He was only seven, and still hadn't completely mastered the ability to talk in a whisper._

_Noticing the woman's rude tone Evelyn can feel her mood shift like a flip of a coin. Before she has a moment to think over what she's doing she's up out of her seat, past Chuck, and inches from the older woman's face. "Don't you **ever** talk to my kid like that, do you hear me?" She gets close enough to whisper in her ear so that no one else can hear, "I will rip your face off if you even look at him again."_

_Everyone is completely stunned by the drama that had quickly unfolded before them and begins whispering back and forth to each other. No doubt judging her and her actions, but she didn't care. Just as quickly as she had become infuriated she was now completely collected once more. _

_Without another word she moves back to her seat, tapping Chuck lightly on his nose as she passes him. The older woman she had confronted got up, likely in search of security. But Evelyn wasn't worried. She had enough money to be able to pay people to excuse her ever-shifting moods. Right now, all she wanted to do was enjoy this moment with her son._

_"I mean, look at them..."_

_"That's Bart Bass's wife, you know."_

_"I know they're new money but you would think formal attire to the ballet is just a given. She's in jeans, and he looks like he just came from soccer." _

_"Smells like it too."_

_Hearing the couple behind them talk back and forth Chuck's attention is pulled away from the stage as he looks between him and his mother. He had just come from soccer practice, and in his excitement, for the show, he hadn't even noticed that everyone else was dressed up for this. _

_They dressed up for the ballet sometimes, but other times she would tell him last minute and they would come in whatever they were wearing at that time. T-shirts, shorts, even pajamas a couple of times... Evelyn never seemed concerned about it so in turn Chuck never was. But hearing these people mock them suddenly didn't make him feel very good. For the first time in his life, Chuck felt less-than..._

_Watching Chuck's tiny face crumble Evelyn can feel her blood start to boil once more. She snaps her head back at the couple seated behind them, fully ready to tear into them, but suddenly she feels a small hand take hold of her own and looking down she meets eyes with Chuck. His eyes were completely identical to her own; deep, dark-brown, and very warm. Looking into his eyes made her feel completely at home and instantly killed the rage that was stewing inside her. Squeezing his hand, she leans into him once more and continues talking him through the ballet._

_"This is the Odette solo, this is one that mommy did."_

_"You can do that?" Chuck's eyes never left the performer as he spoke in bewilderment. _

_Evelyn chuckled to herself, "Well, not anymore. But I used to be able to."_

_"She's so pretty." He didn't mean the dancer herself, though she was, but rather the way her body moved so elegantly across the stage._

_"She is." Evelyn watches in admiration as each plie seems to play out so effortlessly. It was like the ballerina was moving on a cloud, and it took Evelyn back to her own days performing this very dance. In this moment, she was completely at peace. _

_"Chuckles," Evelyn calls her son by his pet name, she was the only one that ever called him that but he didn't mind because it was her, "Is this one really your favorite?"_

_He fell in love with every ballet she ever took him to. Each one instantly became his favorite until he would see the next. _

_But this one was different. _

_This one was special to him because it was so special to her. _

_"Yes, we need to come see it again soon." _

_Satisfied with this answer Evelyn only nods in agreement. _

_"What's it called again?" They had seen so many that he had enjoyed, it was easy for him to forget the names. But this is one he wanted to be sure he remembered. _

_Shifting her gaze from the stage back to her son, Evelyn stares at Chuck in silence._

_ In this moment he was so beautiful and so innocent. _

_She wanted to freeze time right now. _

_She never wanted this moment to end._

_"Swan Lake."_

As much as Evelyn never wanted her son to grow up, he of course did.

_Chuck had a soccer game earlier that afternoon that neither of his parents could attend so instead Anne Archibald brought him back to her house so he and Nate could play. He spent the majority of the day with the Archibalds and even ate dinner there, to his and Nate's surprise. But with both boys bedtimes quickly approaching, and little communication with Evelyn, Nate's nanny dropped Chuck off at the Bass penthouse._

_The Bass's housekeeper had come in the morning and was long gone by this point but Chuck was relatively used to solitude, especially recently._

_Evelyn had stopped taking him to ballets, and most days would barely get out of bed. Bart, as usual, was rarely home._

_The only thing that ever seemed to improve his mother's mood was him._

_Throwing his soccer bag to the floor, and kicking off his shoes, Chuck sprints across the marble floors and up the stairs towards his parent's room._

_"I'm home!"_

_Chuck halts in the doorway as he notices his parent's king-sized bed is clearly slept in, but his mother is nowhere to be found. _

_"Mother?" His voice echos across the expansive master suite as he gently creeps into the room. He quickly covers his own mouth in an attempt to stop the words that have already escaped him._

_She was probably hiding from him. She did this a lot. _

_It used to really amuse him but didn't as much anymore. It was something that made her laugh though, and he liked hearing her laugh, so he'd play along for her sake. _

_Tiptoeing across the floor, cautious as to not make any loud noises, he abruptly pushes their bathroom door open._

_ "Got ya!"_

_But he's only met with the same echo of his voice, like before. Straightening his posture Chuck can feel his insides start to squirm. _

_The complete and utter silence he was continually met with was deeply unsettling. "Mom?" He finally yells out as he turns and walks back into their room. _

_Seeing the shape of a body underneath the covers a feeling of relief washes over him as he jumps and throws himself in the bed. As he wraps his arms around his mother his body begins to slowly sink into her 'figure'. Alarmed he yanks back the covers to only see her body pillow. _

_At this discovery, Chuck enters full panic mode._

_ It wasn't like his mother to stay hidden this long._

_"Mom, this isn't fun anymore." _

_It was quickly dawning on him that she wasn't here. _

_But if she wasn't in the Penthouse, where would she be? And why wouldn't she have taken him? _

_He was quickly regretting staying at the Archibalds for so long. The __chicken piccata wasn't **that** good.__ He'd have much rather been here so that his mother could take him with her._

_Sliding off the bed Chuck moves towards the hallway, shoulders slumped in defeat. He had never stayed home completely alone and while usually he loved how big his house was at this moment it was pretty terrifying. _

_How could his mother leave him like this?_

_Before he leaves the room something catches his eye. _

_Sitting on the dresser was his mother's signature diamond tennis bracelet. It had been a gift from Bart early in their relationship and she never went anywhere without it. _

_He turns and eyes her closet for a moment. The door was left propped open and the light was on, which was strange. _

_Taking a deep breath Chuck approaches the door timidly, unsure of what he may find inside. After several deep breaths he swings the door open, forcing himself to keep his eyes open as he does so._

_Her closet looked completely untouched. _

_Including her luggage, which was really the best sign he could have hoped for. __This meant that maybe she hadn't gone far and would, in fact, be home soon. She did wonder off sometimes. She probably went to the Archibald's to get him. He would just have to be patient and wait for her._

_ A small smile breaks out across his face as he's once again flooded with relief. _

_He felt a lot better but was still somewhat skeeved at the idea of being here alone so he quickly ran off in the direction of his room, not even stopping to turn the hallway lights on._

_ As he pushes the large double doors to his room open, the sensor lights automatically switch on as they detect his movement but he doesn't dare move an inch further into his room._

_ He can't._

After a life-long battle with depression, and untreated bipolar disorder, Evelyn Bass took her own life.

The act itself didn't shock many people, most that knew her had always known she had _issues_. But, once word got around that it was her eight-year-old son that had found her hanging from his bedroom light fixture people were suddenly all kinds of concerned.

It was the talk of the city.

Benefits were held in her honor, charities were created, and everyone suddenly wanted to have big discussions about mental health issues. _For a time._

But then, just as quickly as it had become a _thing_, it suddenly wasn't.

Soon enough people forgot all about the _'whys'_ and focused on the _'hows'_.

_How_ could a mother be so selfish?

_How_ could she be that unhappy with her privileged life?

_How_ could she be so cruel to subject her son to that?

_How_ could the family not have known?

Suddenly nobody remembered Evelyn for the beautiful, warm, free-spirit that Chuck knew her as. She became a tragic tale and Chuck was left the boy whose mother killed herself.

But once the next major scandal broke out people didn't seem to remember _tragic_ Evelyn either. She went completely unspoken of by the world, and by their family. Chuck couldn't even remember the last time anyone had asked him about her. Even Nate only ever mentioned her anymore when the anniversary of her death was approaching.

No one cared.

She was the only person that had always looked out for him, always protected him, but once she was gone he had to learn to protect himself because no one else was going to, especially not his father.

That point had been made blatantly clear when he tried to tell Bart that one of his foreign business associates, that had been staying with them as he oversaw Bart's recent development, had been coming into his room late at night. He didn't believe Chuck, chalking it all up to a wild imagination due to his mother's recent traumatic passing. By the time Bart had started to suspect anything _funny_ was happening it was too late, and the damage had been done. Bart cut ties with the man, but nothing else ever came of the situation, and much like Evelyn's death, they never talked about it.

Being forced to grow up at such a young age Chuck became a self-soother, and when he was feeling bad, which was more often than not, he outright searched for anything to dull his pain.

The drugs and alcohol came first, and then older guys like Carter Baizen told him and Nate about porn and masturbation, and from there came the girls and sex. He preferred the girls to the porn or drugs, but any and all of them did the trick at any given moment.

He was far from that innocent little boy, transfixed by ballerinas.

He was, quite frankly, a complete fucking mess.

But for the most part, he played it off well.

His wrongdoings were infamous, and none of his peers held him to a very high standard. They didn't believe he was capable of being better, or deeper, and he preferred it that way.

Chuck provided a good time but was never looking to be anyone's long-term.

He wasn't someone that was going to call you after you hooked up or, in most cases, even talk to you at all.

Given his track record, it would have been really easy for him to blow off what had happened at Odette's party. Expected of him even.

Yet here he was...

In her round, pink, bed, making out with her for the fourth time since her party the previous week.

'The Cranberries' album record plays in the background; Dolores O'Riordan's iconically haunting voice drifting through the room.

The only other noise to be heard was coming from the faint sound of Chuck and Odette's lips moving together.

**_'But I'm in so deep_**

**_You know I'm such a fool for you...'_**

As they lay side by side he wraps his arms around her waist and rolls over onto his back, pulling her into a straddling position on top of him, their lips never breaking contact. She had definitely learned a few things since their very first time and he was surprised by how much he enjoyed kissing her now.

It also made him curious about how skilled she was at other activities.

Odette kisses Chuck back feverishly, enjoying the feeling of being on top of him and therefore in a bit more control. Much to her own horror, she liked kissing Chuck Bass. Not that she'd ever outright admit that to him.

The whole thing was pretty confusing for her because she was always one of the first to harshly judge all the girls that fell for his overly rehearsed lines. She knew exactly who he was; how he was. Yet here she was with him, again.

She's taken out of the moment as she feels Chuck grow hard against her. Pulling back from him, she laughs a little awkwardly as she pushes his hair back, "You always ruin it." With a deep sigh she rolls swiftly off of him, landing on her own side of the bed.

Chuck throws his head further back into the pillow in annoyance, "I'd argue that _you_ always ruin it by cutting us short." It was the same thing every time. They'd makeout but never take it any further. He fully expected it, yet was still always disappointed.

Normally he wouldn't waste his time on a girl that wouldn't put out but for whatever reason, he kept coming back to Odette even though he knew the whole encounter would only ever leave him with blue balls. It was masochistic, really...

"Did you want to smoke some more?" Pushing herself off her bed Odette moves across her room and grabs her porcelain-pink Jonathan Adler canister, offering it to him. The case had been her second gift from Chuck and he filled the large container to the brim with the most quality strain of weed he could find. "I thought this was only made in blue?"

Chuck watches her raise an eyebrow skeptically at him, but says nothing as he shrugs her question off. He had his connections but didn't need to talk about them.

Besides, to admit that he got her _two_ custom made gifts would only complicate their situation more. He didn't want her overthinking on _why_ he would do something like that for her.

He can feel her eyes on him, always studying his reactions. It made him slightly uncomfortable. More so because he was fairly certain she could see right through him. "You know I'll never turn down a toke." As he takes the canister and begins to pack his pipe for them he looks to her bedroom door, "Your mom's not home?"

"Oh, I'm sure she's here somewhere. Passed out in the wine cellar probably."

Chuck laughed a bit at the mental image of her mother blacked-out, surrounded by all her favorite bottles.

Everyone in each of their families' mutual inner circle had an opinion about Anika Stepanov, most were extremely unpleasant. However, due to his experiences with his own mother, Chuck didn't feel comfortable casting those same judgments on someone like Anika but, he also didn't judge Odette for being her harshest critic. Typically no one was more critical of a parent than their child, and vice versa.

"My mom has been acting like more of a _bedlamite_ than normal. I think she's getting axed from her show or something, she seems to be spiraling."

"Have you asked her about it? You should." He didn't want to freak Odette out by bringing up a worst-case scenario, but he had been too young to know to check in on Evelyn. He didn't want anyone living with that heavy feeling of guilt.

"I can't believe Chuck Bass is urging me to use communication skills."

The thought amused her seeing as his own seemed to be severely lacking.

**_'But I'm in so deep_**

**_You know I'm such a fool for you...'_**

As the chorus begins again Chuck's gaze quickly shifts from the pipe towards the pink record player across the room from where they sat, "You a big Cranberries fan?"

Odette is immediately taken back, "I am, are _you_?" Most of her friends had little to no appreciation for the famous Irish rock band.

"My mom was. She played this album a lot when I was little."

This song specifically played on repeat in the Bass household, with Evelyn belting out the lyrics even though she was painfully tone-deaf. As the memory starts to form Chuck quickly shakes his head, pulling himself out of it. He preferred to avoid old memories because he didn't see the point in reminiscing on those times.

Every memory was tainted with the knowledge that no matter how happy Evelyn was in Chuck's memories of her, she still killed herself.

Odette noticed a slight twist in Chuck's face but she hesitated to say anything. She was never one to want to pry, mainly because she knew he didn't respond well to that. She is cautious of her words as she finally speaks, "What was she like?"

He wasn't used to people asking about Evelyn, mainly because people seemed to walk on eggshells around him when it came to her. Chuck smoothly exhaled the smoke he was holding in his lungs, passing her the piece and offering to light it for her. "I don't remember that much." He took a long pause between each word as if he was really trying to find the right thing to say.

"She passed away when you were pretty young right?" In truth, Odette didn't know a lot about Chuck's home life. No one ever really talked about it, least of all him.

"This is pretty heavy talk for a smoke sesh." As she passes the pipe back to him he sits it on her nightstand. He wasn't feeling overly baked, but he had lost the desire once she started talking about Evelyn.

Odette continues to stare, waiting for him to answer her.

He moves his body so that he's facing her door, and sitting with his back to her. "Yeah, I was eight. So pretty much the only memories I have are of her terrible renditions of this song." He quickly runs a hand through his hair as he starts to think of an excuse to get him out of this room as fast as possible.

"Well, it is pretty impossible to not sing this one." To prove her point, as the chorus picks up once more she leans across her bed, wrapping her arms around him, "But I'm in so deep. You know I'm such a fool for you." She sings along, only slightly off-key, but pulls away from Chuck as she feels how tense he is under her embrace.

As she pulls back she eyes his suddenly rigid posture and cracks a small, sympathetic smile. "Have you ever been in love Chuck?"

"Wh-_why_ are we talking about this?"

Chuck was shaking his head, obviously agitated by her probing personal questions.

"So, I'm good enough to have sex with. But I'm not allowed to ask personal questions? Noted." She gives him a look over before scoffing.

"Well, we actually haven't had sex so therefore I don't owe you personal details about my life." As he looks at her he's slightly taken aback by how she stares back at him, clearly not backing down.

"Nope. I don't owe you sex, just as you don't owe me details about your life. I only asked because I think you have to have been in love before, and had your heart broken, for this song to really resonate."

"Ah, so Isaac Baizen's departure is what turned you onto this song?" Chuck's brows furrow as he's unable to hide the pure disgust that washes across his face. He didn't really know the younger Baizen, but after a previous falling out he was far from a fan of Carter and he couldn't imagine the brothers being all that different. Different apples maybe, but they came from the same branch of the same _jackass_ tree. "I wouldn't be so quick to admit that. Ruins the song more than your bad singing did. Just saying."

"Who said I was referring to him?"

Chuck didn't want to ask the obvious, but who else could she be talking about? The only person she had been linked to before Isaac was, well, him...

"I can already see the gears shifting," Odette shakes her head in dismay, "I'm not talking about you either."

Chuck released an obvious sigh of relief. He was mainly joking, but it was good to know. Linking those three-words to their situation, past or present, was only going to put pressure on him that would push him away before things had even really had the chance to begin.

"You don't have to act so relieved. You should be so _lucky_ to have me love you."

"If I was anyone else, someone like Nate for example... I wouldn't doubt that. But, I'm not and my perception on _love_ is pretty skewed." He wasn't outright opposed to monogamy or what came with it, but right now he was enjoying the carefreeness that came with his current playboy lifestyle. Besides, from the limited examples of relationships, he witnessed around him, he didn't feel he was missing out on much.

"Why is that?" Her eyes search his, trying to detect a shift, "Wait, don't tell me...the great Chuck Bass has had his heart stomped all over?" It was posed as a question, but it wasn't.

To her, Chuck's _shtick _as the Upper East Side's resident fuckboy was completely transparent. He didn't allow himself to get personal or deep with anyone because he had probably been burned by someone he once considered _special_. But hadn't everyone?

She wasn't into the idea of coddling broken men. But with that said, there _was_ a natural chemistry she felt with Chuck and she couldn't deny that she had been enjoying her time with him recently.

"A story for another time." Winking at her he leans forward and kisses her slowly, allowing himself the chance to lose himself within her for a few more moments. Finally, he pulls away, knowing this won't go any further and that he can't handle another case of blue balls, "I should get going. I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

Once she feels Chuck's lips pull away from her she instantly begins to chew on her inner lip. She wasn't super proud of herself for kissing someone that boasted such a large number of sexual encounters, but his experience with women certainly had its benefits. The boy knew what he was doing. "If I'm feeling up to it."

"Up to school? Or seeing me?"

"Don't know yet. Playing it day by day."

* * *

Central Park had become somewhat of a save haven for Nate over the years.

Most people would assume his main form of escapism was smoking or girls, and they wouldn't be wrong but running was another, healthier, coping mechanism of his.

The Captain had grown up in an upper-middle-class family with all brothers and was considered a _mans-man_. This was something he had instilled in Nate his whole life.

The Archibalds appeared as your typical All-American family and to further preserve that image Howard had instilled a love of sports and all things athleticism in Nate from a young age.

Nate had been going for morning runs in the park with his dad for as long as he could remember.

Lately, Howard didn't have as much available time and so Nate had started coming by himself. At first it had bugged him that his dad would blow off their routine, but quickly he realized how much nicer it was to not have to feel the pressure of trying to beat Howard. It wasn't a race and he was on no time limit, he could go at completely his own pace.

_"Left."_

As the couple ahead moves to the side at his verbal direction Nate can see he's almost at the North entrance of the park and breaks into a sprint to finish the last stride of his workout off strong.

Once his feet reach the sidewalk just outside of the park he raises his arms up and rests his hands against the back of his head as he tries to steady his breathing.

He closes his eyes as he feels the sweat from his hair run down his face.

His lungs felt like they were on fire, and despite it being rather cool outside he was unbearably hot. But he actually relished in the anguishing feeling, as his dad would say, it was _'a sign of a job well done'_.

Hearing a ringer go off, his hands fumble through his pockets in search of his phone. As his eyes adjust he can clearly see _'Blair-Bear'_ displayed across the home screen. He begins to look around, nervous she might be watching but quickly mutes the ringer before putting the phone back in his pocket. As soon as he does he can feel the vibration of a text so he pulls his phone out once again.

_**To: Nate**_

_**From: Blair-Bear**_

_**Are you avoiding me?**_

_'Blair-Bear'_ Nate visibly cringed as he saw her contact name once again. Blair-Bear was a nickname given to her by her father, but Nate had sort of adopted it back in middle school. He liked it back then, not so much anymore. The same could probably be said for the relationship itself. He taps away at his screen, editing Blair's contact sheet before responding.

_**To: Blair W.**_

_**From: Nate**_

_**No. Just been busy**_

Nate doesn't even have a chance to go through the motions of putting his phone away as Blair responds almost immediately.

**_To: Nate_**

**_From: Blair W._**

**_We haven't talked much since the other night. We probably should. _**

**_To: Nate_**

**_From: Blair W._**

**_Plus my birthday party is just around the corner and I would love your opinion on some things. Poke by any time..._**

In truth, he had been avoiding her.

After Odette's party, Chuck had invited a small group of people back to his suite for an afterparty. Surprisingly Blair wanted to go.

She attended these types of gatherings in Chuck's suite from time to time, but never very often.

Even more surprising than her attendance to the after-party, was her behavior once she got there.

Blair was a very structured individual. She was an academic-focused, serial over-achiever who had very little clue how to cut loose. She had long learned her alcohol intake and never let herself overdo it. But for whatever reason, that night she decided to get properly shitfaced.

As Nate watched Blair float around the suite, socializing, laughing, and being affectionately sweet to all the people she usually hated, he couldn't help but wonder what had brought this on?

She was out of sorts all night.

But her most out of character moment came when she demanded that Nate do _'it'_ with her on Chuck's bed.

Blair had stressed the importance of her virginity for years and there was no way that she had envisioned losing it on Chuck's bed, on the same mattress where so many cherries had been popped before her.

_"I am **not** vanilla."_

_She kept repeating herself, talking over Nate as he tried to explain that now wasn't a good time for them to be taking this next step. _

_"I said no. I don't want to Blair."_

_"Fine. If you don't want it then maybe I'll just have one of your friends fuck me." _

_Nate's mouth fell slightly agape at her words. He had never heard her talk like this and the challenging look in her eyes was concerning. _

_"What? So it's okay for you to do it and not me?" _

_Nate let out an amused chuckle, shaking his head in dismay, "You know what Blair? If that will make you feel better than go for it. You want to get even so bad, have at it. I'm out of here." _

_Realizing her mistake Blair's face fell and she moves to grab his hand, "No, Nate. I didn't mean it. Please don't go." _

_But in her drunken state she was moving slower than normal and Nate was able to back away from her easily. _

_Without another word he turned on his heel and walked across the suite and out the door, not even caring that he was leaving Blair behind. _

They hadn't talked much since then. A couple of texts _here_, maybe a passing glance in their schools shared corridor _there_.

He knew he couldn't avoid her forever, especially with her birthday quickly approaching. But he also didn't want to deal with the repercussions of the things either of them had said. So, he was sort of stuck in this limbo area, unsure of what he wanted to do.

Hence the much needed run.

_"We thought that was you."_

Before Nate can register who's talking to him he feels a set of paws pounce against him.

Looking down he instantly recognizes the spotted puppy pawing at him, "Well, hello to you too Dottie." He kneels down and begins to affectionately rub the dalmatian's head before looking up and smiling at her owner, "You guys out for a run too?"

"Yup, soccer is just around the corner and I need to get my stamina back up."

"I feel that."

Odette sighs at this comment, "Oh whatever, you and The Captain are out here every day. Look at you, you're going to be just fine." Odette gestures to Nate's bare chest, somewhat bashfully. He was beyond fit, especially for a high school boy. "Why'd you even bring that jacket."

Nate follows her eyes to the classic Varsity hoodie wrapped around his waist. "I was cold when I left, but once I started I got..."

"Hot, yeah." Odette rolled her eyes, a small smile spreading across her face, "Can't relate."

Nate gave her a quick look over. She did seem rather exposed to the cold November air in only Nike shorts and a t-shirt. "Here you can borrow my jacket." Before she can even argue he unties the jacket and hands it to her, "But I want that back. Boys Varsity jackets are coveted."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see about that after we beat your ass in the girls vs. boys scrimmage." Odette's eyes shine at the prospect of light-hearted competition.

Nate nods for a moment, rubbing his chin pensively before responding, "No, what we'll see is if you even make it off the bench this year. Better get to running." Nate pats her on the shoulder, fighting the Chesire cat-like grin that was fighting to break out.

Odette stood stunned for a moment before pulling Nate's slightly over-sized hoodie onto her smaller frame, "Well, thanks for the jacket Nate, and who knows, maybe if I wear this long enough your bizarre love of running will rub off on me. I mean, a girl can dream, right?" With a final shared laugh, Odette gives Nate a small wave before pulling on Dottie's leash and breaking out into a slow jog as she enters the park.

Nate watches her retreat further and further into the park, a small smile still plain on his face.

He's somewhat startled as his phone begins to ring loudly once more. Glancing down at the screen he takes a deep breath before answering, "Hey...yes I got your texts Blair..._no_...no, I'm not ignoring you. I was running."

* * *

Odette sat at her bedroom vanity, slowly applying her signature lipgloss as she waited for her countdown to finish.

_'3...2...1'_

She quickly grabs at her phone and begins to furiously type away, her freshly manicured nails making noises as they tap against the screen.

Chuck had texted her asking if she was busy.

She had been laying on her rug, eating almonds, scrolling through her social media pages and saw the text notification as it came through. She was _not_ busy. But, _he_ didn't need to know that. So instead of replying instantly, she had waited a full thirty-five minutes to text him back.

Thirty-five was the perfect increment of time to make a boy wait. It was long enough for him to worry that she might be busy, but not long enough for him to fully write her off and make new plans.

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette**_

_**Kinda. What's up?**_

She had definitely been taught well by the older girls she hung around with and knew how to play everything completely cool.

As she pops an almond in her mouth, her phone signals that she's received a new text. Reading the screen, a smirk tugs at the corner of her lips.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**Haven't seen much of you lately**_

Chuck had broken the cardinal cool rule of not texting back within the same minute as you received the message.

As flattered as she was to see Chuck so eager, she knew she had him in this position because of how she chose to play things out. After her birthday, they had been spending a lot of time together. But this past week she had turned down all his offers and invitations. It was particularly funny to see that the more she told him no, the more he would ask.

She waited a full fifteen minutes before responding. But as she worked on phrasing a vague response, her phone chimed with another new-text alert.

He double-texted her... another cardinal rule, broken. Biting down on her lower lip she teases her hair as she reads his most recent message.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**I would really like to see you. tonight maybe?**_

Instantly another text pops up, _'Triple text?' _

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**My place? Pls...**_

Whatever Chuck had for her, he had it bad and Odette was feeling extremely pleased with herself.

With a satisfied smile, she pushes herself up off the floor and heads to her closet. She needed to find an outfit that would really seal the deal; the ultimate seduction attire. Something that would have him lusting for her, but wouldn't give away that that's what she was going for. This task was difficult but not impossible.

As she sifts through her racks of designer clothes she glances at the wall clock and see's that it's been ten minutes already. She needed to text him back. The poor Bass has tripled-texted her, he was probably suffering enough from embarrassment.

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette**_

_**We'll see.**_

There was no _'well see' _about it, she was absolutely going to Chuck's tonight.

But _he_ didn't need to know that for certain yet.

She was having entirely too much fun with this.

* * *

Chuck's suit was completely quiet.

Usually, his place was loud and jovial, and there were always people over.

That's how he preferred it.

He liked to entertain and be entertained. Having people constantly around him left him virtually no time to himself, and therefore no time to think about the stuff he liked to avoid.

But, he made an exception today. Which was strange to even him.

Today was the anniversary of Evelyn's death and today of all days he didn't want to be alone, and he was risking it completely.

Nate and some of the other guys wanted to come over and have a boys poker night, but he turned them down and had texted Odette as he listened to his friends make other plans instead.

He wasn't sure she'd even come since she had been blowing him off recently but when faced with choosing a night with her or a night with the boys, Odette won. And it wasn't even close.

She was really making him work for it though. Her responses were short and far apart.

Which he hated. Because while he waited for her to reply all he could do was think... and think... and think.

The minutes ticked by as he waited for her final answer.

Time felt like it was dragging, to the point of agony.

Desperate to hear something from her he had even triple-texted her, which was extremely out of character for him. But it had all paid off as he saw her response finally come through,

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette**_

_**We'll see.**_

It was close to an hour later when Chuck finally received a call on the suites' phone.

_"Mr. Bass, Ms. Rockefeller is here to see you."_

_'Finally.' _The corner of his eyes crinkled as he grins, completely gratified, "Great, send her up."

After hanging up the phone Chuck gets up from the armchair he's been sitting in while he waited, and moves to the bar to grab two tulip-shaped glasses. Swiftly uncorking a bottle of Dom Perignon he starts to pour out the glasses for them.

He had overheard Odette telling Nate a couple of months back that Dom was her drink of choice and so he had gone out and bought several bottles for her to have for whenever she chose to come by again.

Hearing a gentle knock at the door Chuck calls out, "Be right there!" as he finishes topping off the glasses. Finally, he takes one and walks over to the entrance to greet her. As he opens the door, his signature smirk on display he can't help but chuckle to himself, "Look who finally decided to grace me with her presence..."

* * *

After a half-hour of trying on outfit after outfit Odette had found the perfect one; a white-slip dress.

It was casual but somewhat sheer. It hugged her in all the right places and most importantly, seeing her in this dress was going to make Chuck lose his mind.

Admiring herself from every angle in her large, floor-length, gold mirror she gives her reflection a nod of approval before slipping on her heels and heading for the door.

_"Oh, you're headed out?"_

* * *

Chuck's face falls completely as he realizes who is standing at his door.

It wasn't Odette, but rather her mini-me.

"What are _you_ doing here?" He quickly scans the hallway to see if maybe Odette was just a few steps behind her.

But she wasn't.

Coco had come here completely on her own.

Cortney moves around Chuck and saunters into his suite, "Were you expecting someone else?"

"Uh, kind of..."

Not even bothering to look up at the girl as he speaks Chuck pulls his phone out to see if he missed any recent messages from Odette.

"Yeah, like my sister."

* * *

_"Oh, you're headed out?"_

Odette clenches her chest as she tries to steady her suddenly rapidly beating heart.

"Blair, you scared me! I wasn't expecting you."

Blair stares Odette up and down, judging her choice of night-time attire, "Clearly. Where are you off to?"

"Um, nowhere..." with the way she was dressed that wasn't believable, "...important." she quickly concludes with a small shrug. Pushing her bedroom door open she makes way for Blair to come in, "What's up B?"

Odette was clearly lying. No girl got done up like this for something, or someone, un-important. But Blair appreciated the loyalty Odette was showing by blowing whatever it was off to be here with her in her time of need.

"I think Nate's cheating again." With a dramatically long sigh Blair throws herself down on Odette's bed, curling up against her satin-silk sheets.

It was taking everything in Odette to not visibly roll her eyes.

She should not be sacrificing her night out for _this_. She had already had this talk with Blair many times before and while she wanted to be a supportive friend, constantly having to talk Blair off the ledge was getting exhausting. Especially now that it was affecting _her_ personal life.

"Why do you think that?"

"He's pulling away from me. He has been for weeks! He's distancing himself"

Odette sits on her bed beside Blair and starts to gently rub her back, "Didn't you guys just have sex for the first time a couple of weeks ago? That seems like a strange way to go about distancing yourself from someone."

Blair feels a sinking pit in her stomach and tears begin to well up around her doe-eyes. Odette was referring to the night of her birthday party, but Blair and Nate most definitely did not have sex that night, or any other night for that matter.

But, that wasn't what Blair had told her friends.

The following Monday she had entertained them all with a wildly romantic tale about how she had finally lost her virginity to her 'Prince Charming' of a boyfriend. She didn't want to lie, she knew she shouldn't have, but she couldn't bear to see Pennelopes smug face if she told them, once again, that it didn't happen.

She was as tired of announcing she was going to finally screw Nate, as they all were of hearing about it. So instead, she lied.

It made her feel better about the whole thing too, for a time. The version she told the girls was much better than the reality of the situation. It all played out like a movie and it was nice to live in that alternative for a bit. But, the truth was always there.

Blair hadn't had the epic romantic night with Nate that they all thought, in fact, he was currently avoiding her at all costs and her heart was breaking piece by piece.

She knew Nate's cycle already. When things got this bad between them he always sought out the company of other girls and the idea of him blowing her off to be with someone else was destroying her.

Before she can even respond to Odette Blair burst into tears, burying her head into the pillows in shame.

Blair wasn't just crying, she was sobbing and even though she had been somewhat of a bitch to Odette recently it still broke her heart to see her best friend in this state. "B, don't cry? What's wrong?" She wraps her arms around Blair, hugging her tightly, "You know you can talk to me."

Anguished cries continue to fill the room and instead of trying to talk her down Odette decides to focus on her comforting her instead. She doesn't say anything more, as she holds her friend tightly, rubbing a gentle circle against her back.

She can hear her phone ringing in her purse, it probably was Chuck. But she couldn't answer now, obviously.

* * *

_"Yeah, like my sister."_

Chuck doesn't say anything in response, unsure if Odette would want him telling people about their 'hang-outs'.

"I'm kidding, my sister hates you." Cortney laughs faintly as she plants herself on Chucks couch, "Or so she claims. But I think we both know better."

Ignoring this statement Chuck repeats his earlier question, "What are you doing here?"

"Relax. Kati is down a floor blowing some business guy. I'm just waiting for her to text me so we can go back to her place." Cortney's eyes go big with panic as she continues, "The guy with Kati said if you didn't let me in I could just go back to their room and wait. And watch I guess. So, if I'm imposing I can just go..."

_'Damnit'_

Chuck knew he couldn't throw her out now.

He was pretty positive she was bluffing but he wasn't willing to take the risk. Odette had told him not to mess with Coco but he was pretty sure she also wouldn't want him to knowingly put her in a bad situation either. "You can wait here for Kati, it's cool. I'm going to step in the hallway and make a quick call though."

* * *

Over the course of the next fifteen minutes, Blair's cries began to fade off until she feels she truly has no tears left to shed over this issue. "I'm sorry, I'm such a pain." Blair wipes at her eyes trying to avoid smearing her mascara.

"You are not. But, hey let me get you a wipe and I'll help you clean off your face." Getting up from the bed Odette hurries into her bathroom and begins digging through drawers.

"I have mascara all over my face don't I?" Pushing herself off the bed Blair walks over to Odette's mirror and can't help but laugh, "I look like the world's saddest clown. Or better yet, Pennelope after her dad's business partner tells her he's still not leaving his wife for her." Finding humor at Penelope's expense was one of Blair's favorite pastimes, and she could slowly but surely feel her mood lifting.

Things with Nate were hard and had been hard but they were _them_. They always figured it out, somehow, some way.

"Did you find the makeup wipes?"

"I'm looking still."

"You should really get more organized Dette." Blair mentions as she begins to look around the room for the missing makeup wipes.

Moving to Odette's nightstand Blair begins to pick up different objects that are scattered across the surface.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots the familiar wrapping of the wipes and eagerly reaches for it, in the process knocking over the book it was buried under. She watches as the book falls to the floor, landing on a pile of slip dresses that Odette had obviously been trying on for her 'un-important' whatever tonight. At the thought, Blair can't help but crack a smile as she kneels down to collect the book and articles of clothing for her. Odette was such a good fri-

Blair can't even finish the thought as she feels her heart stop.

Tucked partly under her bed, as if strewn there in the process of being taken off, was an all too familiar varsity hoodie.

_'It could be someone else's.'_ She tells herself as she snatches it up.

But pulling the tag out her worst fears are materialized.

A tiny _N.A_ was sewn there for one, Nathanial Archibald. _Her_ Nate.

_"I found some!"_

Hearing Odette shut her bathroom drawers before coming back into the room Blair tucks the jacket back where she found it and quickly moves to sit back on the bed, just as she was when Odette had initially left.

"Here, let me clean you up." Odette offers her friend a small smile as she sits beside her and starts to gently wipe the thick mascara off her eyes and cheeks.

"So, where were you actually off to when I got here anyway?" Blair turns her head so that they're forced to stare at each other. Surely she couldn't lie to her face...

"I told you, it wasn't important B. Not as important as being here for you."

Blair's heart sunk as she heard her response. She didn't believe one word. "Thanks."

* * *

Odette didn't answer his call.

Chuck was seething at this point.

All he wanted was to have a nice time with her and get his mind off of today. Now he was stuck babysitting Coco.

The only sight plus to this was that he at least wouldn't be totally alone now.

"Are you hungry Coco?" Chuck calls out as he re-enters the suite. He immediately notices she's not sitting where he left her and begins to wonder what she's up to.

_"I'm ravenous."_

As Chuck turns in the direction that he hears her voice come from, he is instantly hit with a familiar warming sensation that spreads deep within him. He forces himself to look away, going as far as to close his eyes as he pinches the bridge of his nose in discomfort.

"Put your clothes back on Coco."

She had stripped herself down in the short time that he was in the hallway, and despite her having an obviously beautiful bare body, he was deeply uncomfortable seeing her this way.

"Oh c'mon Chuck, this is what you do." Coco moves towards him, pressing herself against him, forcing him back with every step she takes. "You fuck girls, all types. Why not me? Why don't I meet your standards?"

"Because..."

She had forced him so far back in the suite that he could feel his bed against the back of his knees.

He knew _exactly_ why not.

_' "...if you ever did anything with my little sister, nothing could ever happen here again." she gestures between the two of them. '_

But as Cortney rubbed her naked body against him he was finding it increasingly more difficult to formulate complete sentences.

"Because...what, my sister told you not to? _Who cares_!" Coco moves her mouth close to Chuck's ear and whispers in the most sultry of tones she can manage, "Since when does Chuck Bass let some _girl_ decide who he can, and can not sleep with?"

Chuck shakes his head but doesn't say anything to stop her.

He had one Rockefeller girl that wasn't giving him the time of day, blew him off tonight even, and another that was literally here _begging_ for his attention. Maybe Coco had a point...

Pulling back, Cortney smirks at him triumphantly, "Forget her and let's have some fun!" Without warning, she pounces on Chuck, wrapping her legs around his waist and knocking them both down onto his bed.

* * *

_...raise your hand if that last scene made you super **super** uncomfortable(both of my hands are raised high in the air). _

_Yikes. _

_If you've read this far, thanks for giving this update a read and I can't wait to hear your thoughts! I'm also posting more content on the gilded insta page, so be sure to check that out. _

_The next chapter will focus on Blair's seventeenth birthday party and, unfortunately, things are going to get way worse before they get better. The drama that began this chapter __is just the very beginning, so be prepared ;)_


	8. chapter seven

_Guys, it's day...I don't even know what day of Quarantine we are on where I'm at anymore. Things are getting crazier and crazier but it's important for us all to know that we're in this together. I'm very thankful that I am able to spend some of this time focusing on writing this story and reading lots of wonderful fanfiction. For anyone out there that is bored, or anxious and in need of a good, long, distraction, I hope that this story can be whatever it is that you need. _

_This was a __colossal of an update let me tell ya! We're talking 23,000+ words long. Some people might have not minded, but I really would feel like an asshole if I made anyone read that long of a chapter. I mean, I take my writing very seriously but at the end of the day this is just fanfiction, I'm not trying to exhaust anyone's eyes or brain. _

_Now, I know what you're thinking. Couldn't I just trim some stuff out? The answer is a stone-cold no because I refuse to rush plots and there were some things that needed to be covered before we get into the 'Seventeen Candles'- centric chapter. SO, I split this update in half. I hope you all can enjoy it, even if it wasn't what you were expecting(I know, I know, I said this chapter was going to cover Blair's birthday. I lied.)_

_As always, I want to thank each and everyone one of you for reading this and showing me support. Every view, follow, favorite, and review I get is extremely cherished and always inspires me to get more content out. I know there isn't a huge audience for OC stories, but I am so happy that there are some of you out there that have taken a true liking to Odette :) _

_Now to address a point brought up by a *certain* guest reviewer: Writing an original character into a pre-existing world is tough. Especially in a fandom as loved as Gossip Girl. Most people are so invested in their canon ships that it's difficult to read OC fanfiction and get into it. I understand that. But, I work extremely hard at developing my original characters. I don't like reading Mary-Sue's or 'carbon copies' of the canon's either, so I would never in a million years want to write my characters that way. If Odette comes off similar to *any* of the female canons, I apologize. I don't see the similarity but I will work harder at establishing her as her own character as we go along. Thank you. _

_**This chapter is dedicated to S**, for inspiring me daily and always going down the rabbit hole of story planning with me. Also, for being kind enough to allow our GG worlds to sometimes intertwine ;)_

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, TEENAGE ALCOHOL ****USE**

**_WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS._**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any and all mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true family.

* * *

_"Yeah, little sisters are never as loyal to us as we are to them. It's kind of the curse that comes with being the older sibling."_

* * *

Once Odette finished cleaning up Blair's makeup stained face the haughty brunette had found an easy excuse to leave and hurried out of the Rockefeller's home in hopes that Odette wouldn't sense the obvious shift in her mood.

She might not have noticed her friends change in attitude but it did strike Odette as odd that Blair had left in such a hurry. Mainly because in the past when dealing with insecurity issues, it took her all night to build Blair back up. Once she was gone though Odette didn't spend much more time thinking into it.

She _had_ plans for the night before Blair had shown up at her door a crying mess, as per usual. But maybe, despite the interruption, the night wasn't completely ruined.

Pulling her phone from her purse she's met with the notifications of two missed calls from Chuck. _'Great.' _When she previously had heard the calls coming through she had assumed Chuck was on the other end of the line. Knowing for certain only made her feel worse. The last thing she had texted him was, _'We'll see.'_ It was meant to be her cute way of teasing him but instead, it was just that, a tease.

She takes a moment to study herself in her full-length mirror, fluffing her hair at the roots in an attempt to regain its previous volume. Once she's satisfied with her look she pulls Chuck's contact up on her phone and presses _'call'_.

After a few spaced out rings, she is sent directly to his voicemail. He either was pissed at her or had gone ahead and made other plans for the night.

If she didn't know that she had some feelings for him before she definitely knew now because the idea of either scenario was making her stomach twist into knots.

Feeling a familiar wave of nerves wash over her Odette reaches over and pulls her prescription bottle from her nightstand drawer, popping a single white pill into her mouth. She swallows, without water, and chews on her inner lip as she debates taking more.

She had been overtaking them for so long now that the recommended amount didn't seem to do much of anything to help her. But she had recently decided that she wanted to start weaning herself off of her _self-prescribed_ high dosages and she had stopped popping the pills as frequently in the last couple of weeks. Currently, though, she felt the overwhelming urge to swallow _at least_ half the bottle.

She wasn't huge on confrontation but she figured the least she could do is show up and maybe attempt to make it up to him.

She wouldn't show up directly at his suite because if he did have someone over she didn't want to subject herself to see any part of _that_, but she could have someone at the front desk call up to him. If he wanted to see her then he would, and if he didn't then she'd probably die. Well, no that was overly dramatic but she _would_ probably lock herself in her room for the rest of the month and claim she had mono. Just until the sting of rejection passed. Sure, the plan wasn't ideal by any means but anything was worth avoiding the embarrassment of being rejected by Chuck Bass..._again_.

Tucking her pills back into the drawer she grabs a tube of clear lipgloss off her bedside table and begins to hastily apply it. The better she looked the better the chances were of Chuck easily letting this go.

She gives herself one final, appreciative, lookover before heading out.

As she moves from her bedroom, down the hall, she can faintly hear the familiar sound of 'Cher's greatest hits' drifting up from the ground floor. Once she reaches the end of the main hallway she peers over the Juliet balcony, where the massive double staircases meet, and sees several bottles of wine scattered around the open foyer and living room below.

_'One of those nights...'_

Taking in a long-drawn breath Odette rolls her shoulders back, exhibiting perfect posture, and braces herself for whatever version of her mother she might be encountering.

Watching Odette descend the left grand staircase Anika's entire face lights up. She tosses back what little liquid remains in her oversized wine glass before clapping her hands together in excitement, " Dee, come dance! You _love_ Cher!"

This was true but the sight of her mother piss-drunk was distracting her from the music. It didn't matter if Cher was the background noise or not, she would never be in the mood to put up with her mothers' theatrics. "I'm actually going out."

Anika's face falters, "To see Chuck?" Before Odette can react Anika picks up her Macbook and turns it so that her daughter can get a better look at the dimmed screen.

It takes almost no time for Odette to recognize the familiar layout of the Gossip Girl website, "Why..._why_ are you reading that filth?" All across the page, Odette's name shows up in bolded highlight making it obvious that her mother was specifically searching her. She was seeing every picture and reading every single embarrassing, awful, thing that had ever been posted about her; true or not. Gossip Girl gave out more information than any person should know about another, certainly more than a parent ever should about their child. "Stop doing this." Odette quickly shuts the laptop and places it on the chair opposite her mother.

"Well, maybe if you shared more with me I wouldn't _need_ to resort to reading about you."

So, _this_ was the version of drunk Anika she was dealing with. The overly emotional Anika that blames everyone else for her lack of connection with them. "Well, you haven't always been the easiest to talk to mother."

Anika's large cerulean toned eyes begin to water, her filler-filled lips quivering as she speaks, "No, you just prefer your father and grandfather and all the Rockefeller clan really, over me. You always have." Stumbling over her own feet Anika moves towards Odette and grabs her face firmly with both hands so that she can look her directly in the eyes, "но я твоя мать"

Odette instantly recoils from her mothers' touch, breaking eye contact, as she feels a familiar pit build in her stomach. _'But I am your mother'_, it was something Anika felt the need to remind her of all her life.

Despite the fact that Odette tended to view herself in the parent role, in terms of her relationship with the irresponsible and mostly childish Anika, she was in fact just the child. Anika was her mother and she showed her no loyalty, _ever_.

Anika and J.D had a messy divorce, mainly due to financial arguments, that had only been settled three years prior.

Anika had been J.D's third wife so no one on the Upper East Side was terribly surprised when he filed for divorce. What did shock everyone was how desperate Anika was to walk away with a financial surplus.

Unlike his previous wives, Anika didn't come from family money and cashing in on the Rockefeller fortune had provided her with a certain lifestyle she wasn't fully ready to let go of. Her only real claim to a portion of the family fortune was to have full custody of her two daughters. However, when put before the judge and questioned on who she would like to go with, Odette all but yelled '_dad_'. It spoke volumes to everyone present and Anika was devastated.

In the end, despite hearing his daughter's choice, J.D opted to leave the responsibility of the girls with their mother and only petitioned for visitation rights. Odette was devastated.

Anika ended up with sole custody of both girls and was offered a hefty settlement for it.

In place of paying child support J.D's father, David Rockefeller, would pay for the girls' insurance, school tuition, all extracurriculars, housing, any and all material items, as well as providing a monthly stipend for Coco, Odette, and Anika each. However, this agreement would only last until Cortney graduated highschool. From there, David would continue to financially support his granddaughters but Anika would not receive another dime of Rockefeller money.

Her daughters were essentially her meal tickets and Odette was old enough during the split and lengthy divorce to realize this. That only further added strain to their tumultuous relationship.

But, she wasn't heartless and though she would never outright admit to it, it did hurt her to see Anika hurting. Even if she knew, it was mostly from her own doing.

"Let's get you to bed mommy, it's been a long night." The word felt foreign coming from her mouth. Even as a child she had rarely called Anika that. But, that particular name always seemed to get drunk Anika to listen and do what Odette needed her to. And at this moment, Odette needed to put her ass to sleep.

While supporting her body weight, Odette guides her mother's footsteps across the polished floors. They move slowly so that Anika won't lose her balance and bring them both tumbling to the cold, hard, ground. Before they can reach the base of the stairs their attention shifts to the entrance of the penthouse as they hear the signal of the elevator gate opening, followed by the familiar click of stiletto heels echoing off the marbled floors.

_"Whoa, looks like I missed the party?"_

_"_Coco, my baby!_" _Anika looks as equally pleased to see Cortney as she had been when she saw Odette.

The younger blonde saunters over to the duo, giving her mother a sympathetic smile, "Hit the wine a little too hard tonight, Mom?"

Anika says nothing, wrapping her free arm around Coco's trim frame and pulling her in for further support.

Odette carefully scans Cortney up and down with overly judgemental eyes. Her makeup was semi-smeared, her hair was wildly messy, and one of her dress straps had fallen completely off her shoulder and she hadn't bothered to readjust it. She looked rough but Odette didn't really care to know why. "Help me get her to her bed?"

"Lead the way..."

The sisters had been in this situation more times than either of them could count and by this point, they knew how to operate together like clockwork.

As the two girls struggle to keep their mother upright enough to be able to guide her up the stairs Odette can feel Coco's eyes on her. Once they reach the top Odette finally takes a moment to return Coco's gaze and notices a familiar smugness about her. Narrowing her eyes in slight suspicion she finally asks, "What's up Cort?"

"Nothing." Cortney sounded completely innocent but her demeanor was anything but. The smirk that tugged at the corner of her lips would have been obvious to Odette had she not been so preoccupied with their mother.

Normally Cortney would be all too eager to burst her older sisters' bubble, especially when it had to do with Chuck, but the current timing didn't feel _quite_ right. So, for the rest of the walk to their mother's bedroom, both girls stayed completely silent.

The only sound as they retreated deeper down the hallway was Anika faintly singing along to the music as Cher's iconic voice faded away in the distance.

* * *

By the time Coco and Odette had gotten Anika into her pajamas, cleaned off her makeup, and tucked her into her bed, the opportunity for Odette to show up at the Palace and see Chuck had long passed.

So instead she ended the night in her own bed, tossing and turning as she tried to get comfortable without disturbing Dottie from her peaceful sleep at the end of the bed.

She had essentially played babysitter all night. It started with Blair's sudden ambush and ended with her mothers' drunken stupor. She couldn't help but think back to that first initial text she had gotten from Chuck asking if she was busy. She didn't know it at the time, but apparently she was. She was _pissed_.

This wasn't at all how she saw her night going and she was getting really tired of putting her wants on hold to deal with the needs of other people. Rolling over onto one arm she feels under her pillow until she can find her phone. Pulling it out she types up a text for Chuck,

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette **_

_**Rlly srry about tonight, some stuff came up. **_

As she went to tuck her phone back under the pillow she's surprised to feel it vibrate in her hand, already alerting her of a new text.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**It's ok, some stuff came up here too.**_

She repeatedly skimmed this single line of text, a relieved smile growing with each new read. He had replied within seconds so he obviously wasn't _that_ mad at her at least. However, he _might_ have made plans with some other girl in her absence... she didn't really need to know though. After all, what she didn't know couldn't hurt her.

**_To: Chuck_**

**_From: Odette_**

**_Any chance you'd be down for a do-over 2mrw? _**

Waiting for his reply felt like torture.

It was interesting to see how the roles had reversed from when they last talked. Now it was her, anxiously waiting for his response.

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette**_

**_I have to go to this _****_gallery show 2mrw _****_for a school thing. _**

**_Would you wanna _****_maybe meet me there and after we can hang out? _**

She was never one to break one of the cardinal rules but he had shown some, rarely seen, vulnerability when he invited her to hangout earlier and it seemed only fair that she show him the same humility. In fact...

_**To: Chuck **_

_**From: Odette**_

_**I rlly wanna see you, pls?**_

Maybe her pill from earlier was finally setting in, or maybe she felt more liberated getting to hide behind her phone screen, whatever the reason she had decided to triple text him.

Odette Rockefeller was officially a triple texter.

She couldn't help but frown at how desperate it possibly made her look. But maybe, he'd find her desperation endearing. _Hopefully_.

Despite the long waiting she had been doing once she sent her last text his response came through quickly.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**What Gallery?**_

He didn't acknowledge the fact that she had succumbed to triple texting, and she appreciated him for that. That spared her at least a quarter of her dignity.

_**To: Chuck**_

_**From: Odette**_

_**Williamsburg lol. Not your scene, I know. But maybe you'll reconsider?**_

She attached the physical address before pressing send.

Despite the fact that Brooklyn was a burgeoning neighborhood with real estate that could potentially rival Manhattans, most Upper East Side teens turned their noses up at the prospect of making the journey across the bridge. Deeming it and, in turn, it's residents far below their high-brow pedigree.

Odette had spent very little time in Brooklyn and while she didn't look down on the borough she also didn't _love_ spending her free time there. Her attendance at this particular art show was for a grade though so she had no choice in the matter. However, having Chuck there to keep her company could potentially make the evening go smoother.

**_To: Odette_**

**_From: Chuck_**

**_We'll see._**

Odette bites down on her lower lip as she re-reads his response.

He was playing her games now it seemed but she left this conversation at that. She didn't feel the need to humor him with another reply.

With a playful roll of her eyes, she places her phone back under her pillow and settles into her bed. He might come, or he might not, but at least she knew he wasn't upset with her. Knowing this allowed her to finally relax and begin to drift to sleep.

* * *

Dan had been nervous about the art show all week.

Not that he felt he needed to prove something to Odette per se, but well, maybe he did.

He knew this was in is head. A classic _'them vs. me_' mentality, but he couldn't help it. Despite his greatest efforts and achievements, he was always viewed as a second-rate citizen in regard to his classmates. The gallery meant everything to his dad, and to their family. It had materialized due to the blood, sweat, and tears of the Humphrey family and his mothers' original artwork even adorned most of the walls. This place was like a second home to Dan and Jenny, and letting someone into it felt like he was letting them into somewhere deeply personal to him.

It felt like he was letting Odette into his bedroom, with his power ranger sheets, old comic books, and Cedric. It's like he was just asking for her to judge him and the way he lives. It was invasive, and beyond that, scary.

Odette ran with the Teen Queen of Mean, Blair Waldorf, so he was sure she was capable of nastiness. However, she had never really shown that side of herself to him. In fact, she had always been somewhat decent to him, critical at times sure, but she treated him like a human at least. She acknowledged him unlike so many of their mutual peers who preferred to act like he was invisible.

He didn't expect her to waltz in and be uber judgmental of his family or the way in which they earn their living, but she also was a Rockefeller and he had a hard time grasping her family's wealth and lifestyle. A place like this would hardly compare to the properties owned by her own family.

_"You can be honest."_

"I am, it's nice." Odette looks around the open floorplan of the Humphrey's gallery, her arms planted firmly at her sides. "It's _charming_."

_'Charming?' _Vanessa Abrams nose scrunches in disgust as she listens to the forced compliments coming out of Odette's mouth.

Vanessa had been friends with the Humphrey family for years, and in a lot of ways, Rufus had come to be somewhat of a father figure to her. Especially now that she was back in the city without her mom and with only her reckless older sister to look after her. She was close to the Humphries, and even more so, fiercely protective of them.

Rufus had purchased this gallery years ago as a way to show his support to Alison and encourage her to pursue her art more actively. Unfortunately, despite her talent, her pieces mainly went unsold. They had a few solid commissions per year but for the most part, the only people coming by the gallery were people that had stumbled upon it during their exploration of the surrounding neighborhood. Visitors loved to look around at the various sculptures and paintings, but they rarely had the means of purchasing anything.

Now that Alison was living in Hudson the gallery was receiving even less new content than before. The paintings that hung on the wall today were the same ones that had been there six months ago and as time went on even fewer buyers were coming by.

At this point, Rufus was losing money paying the expensive rent and utilities to keep this place running but he didn't have the heart to sell. To him, giving up on the gallery was the equivalent of giving up on his marriage. He had purchased this place as a testament of his love for Alison, what would it say if he now sold it?

He remained hopeful that the gallery would eventually take off, just as he remained hopeful that one day his wife would come back to him. But hope didn't pay the bills and his finances were quickly depleting what with keeping this place running, taking care of the loft, and paying what was left after the scholarship money for Dan and Jenny's tuition.

All he needed was to attract new faces. New faces, with deep pockets.

Recently Rufus had attended a dinner party with Lily Van der Woodsen at the home of Eleanor Waldorf, and despite feeling out of his comfort zone he decided to capitalize on the opportunity and made a point to introduce himself to a few possible clients. They seemed interested, for the most part. He took down their information and quickly got to work planning this event tonight. He sprung for an open bar, and lots of appetizers and various charcuterie boards. He was putting more money into this art show than he normally would, but he was also hoping for a high pay off by having Lily's Upper East Side friends in attendance.

All he was hoping for is that all the hard work he constantly put into this gallery would pay off tonight.

This event was important for the Humphreys and Vanessa didn't appreciate this snooty classmate of Dan's coming in and trying to downplay any part of it.

"Well it may not be the Met, but it has edge, and it's lively, and the art actually means something."

Odette barely looks at Dan's curly-haired side-kick for the evening as she walks over to the painting closest to them, "What do you think this one says?"

The picture depicted a woman, entirely made up of, individual, contrasting brush strokes, with her lips literally stitched together by metal wiring.

"Probably my mom's way of saying she felt she has no voice and was stuck in her marriage and her life here." Dan can only briefly look at the painting before shifting his gaze elsewhere. It felt like the sting of his mothers' absence was never going to get easier.

"I didn't know your mother was an artist Dan, I guess that's where you get your creativity from?" Odette offers him a gentle smile, feeling guilty for unintentionally bringing up his broken home life.

"Uh, Rufus?"

She wasn't sure if Dan's friend was a know-it-all in general or just wanted to prove that she _knows it all_ about Dan, but she was quickly climbing the list of most irritating people.

"What's a Rufus?"

"That would be me," Looking over her shoulder Odette sees a middle-aged man, with messy brown hair approach them. After leaning a folding table against one of the concrete columns he turns to Odette, extending his hand to her with a warm smile, "Rufus Humphrey, nice to meet you."

_This_ was Dan's dad? It was strange, he didn't really look like a dad. At least not the ones she was used to.

All the dads she knew were involved in some type of bis business and she'd never even seen most of them in anything other than a suit. But here was Rufus, wearing dark jeans and a black button-up with roses stitched to the shoulders.

The Humphrey's really never ceased to amaze...

"Odette Rockefeller, it's a pleasure."

_'Rockefeller' _

Vanessa all but scoffs as she hears her last name for the first name. This girl was getting more unlikable by the minute. "Rockefeller? Your family owns standard oil right?"

"Uh, kind of." Publicly, the Rockefeller's_ had_ owned Standard Oil before it was broken up into smaller pieces. Unbeknownst to the majority, their family owned large percentages in every company that Standard Oil had been broken down into. So in a way, they did still own it, they just didn't talk about it.

"Wow, you wouldn't believe the amount of protest I've been to against your family." Vanessa shakes her head in dismay.

The Rockefeller family represented so much of what she hated about the world. Mainly, greed. She couldn't imagine how Dan stomached going to school with people like this. People like _her_.

Odette carefully scans Vanessa over from head to toe, arching an eyebrow at her finally, "Oh, I believe it..."

Sensing the two girls differing personalities were about to come to a head Dan quickly steps in, "Dad," he calls for Rufus's attention in hopes that he'll catch on and help de-escalate the tension in the room, "thanks again for letting us cover your art show for our journalism assignment."

Hearing Dan, Odette pulls her attention away from Vanessa to smile at Rufus once again, "Yes, thank you, Mr. Humphrey. The space is great."

"I believe the words you used were _charming _and_ nice _actually."

"Nice and charming is exactly what I was going for, so thank you Odette. Hopefully you kids can find something interesting enough to cover in your paper, but I appreciate the moral support nonetheless son." Clapping a hand against Dan's shoulder Rufus picks up the foldout table once more and heads off deeper into the gallery.

"You two seem close?" This was yet another thing that struck her as odd. The Humphrey's had a much different dynamic than any of the other families she'd ever been around. There was a genuine closeness there that she almost sort of envied.

"_They are_."

"Shut up..." Odette mutters under her breath as Vanessa speaks up once again, but before Odette can fully respond she notices a familiar, leggy, blonde, "Serena! Oh, thank God."

Considering Odette was a full year younger than the rest of the group, she had come into the mix much later.

Blair, Serena, Nate and Chuck had all known each other for years. In some cases, they had even grown up together.

Odette had known Nate almost her whole life, and through Nate she briefly met Chuck in the eighth grade. But it wasn't until she was a freshman that she finally met Serena and Blair and shortly after that Serena had up and left for boarding school before they had the opportunity to really get to know one another.

Needless to say, Serena and Odette weren't super close. Through Blair, they were becoming better friends but they still had never even hung out one-on-one before. At this moment Odette didn't care though, she was just so thankful to have someone to talk to besides Vanessa.

Serena quickly looks in the direction she hears her name called from and can't help but snicker as she sees Odette booking it towards her, "I don't think I've ever seen you move that fast."

"When you mentioned Dan's friend Vanessa you failed to mention how _friendly_ she is."

Serena doesn't say anything but nods understandingly. In a way, she was happy someone else had finally met Vanessa and come away with the same impression. Now she at least knew she wasn't just being a jealous girlfriend.

* * *

Nate chewed quietly on one of the homemade peanut butter cookies Dorota had brought out for him and Blair to snack on, offering some to Blair every now and then even though he knew her answer wasn't going to change.

Snacks at the Waldorfs always seemed pointless because Blair rarely ever ate anything anymore.

This wasn't always the case though. In fact, there was a time when Blair was even somewhat chubby.

Most people would look at someone like Nate, handsome and athletic, and assume that he's really vain but that has never been the case.

Nate came from a very cookie-cutter, on all accounts, picture-perfect looking family, which made him somewhat crave something outside of that box.

From the time he realized he liked girls, he liked _all_ types. This had never stopped.

Race was never an issue.

He didn't mind gingers _at all. _

And weight really didn't bother him.

Pretty much all her life Blair had always struggled with her fluctuating weight problems. She went from chubby to trim with each changing season. Nate never minded though.

But once things started to get bad she assumed his cheating was because of the way she looked. This, in addition to the years of insecurity she already felt from small comments Eleanor made, or by being best friends with Serena, made Blair resort to some not-so-healthy ways for losing the extra pounds.

She began dropping the weight so quickly that it was hard for anyone to catch when her illness started and by the time they realized it was way too late. Her parents had sent her to treatment over the summer between freshman and sophomore year but it didn't seem to help much. She still was way too thin, she still was barely eating, and you could _still_ hear her in the bathroom with the water running and know exactly what she was doing.

This was yet another way in which Nate felt he ruined Blair. He cheated on her _and_ he made her get a fucking eating disorder. It doesn't get worse than that.

How did people think he was such a great guy? He knew he wasn't.

He hadn't always been this person though.

He wanted nothing more than to be that good guy, '_golden-boy_', everyone viewed him as but the longer he felt trapped in this relationship the further away from that person he felt.

_'But, Blair's a good girl.'_

_'She's good for you Nathaniel.'_

_'I would be awfully disappointed if you ever broke up with her'_

His parents' words play on repeat in his head. Anytime he thought about breaking up with Blair the voices just got louder and louder.

He wanted to believe he could make things work, make them all happy. But lately, it was getting harder and harder to see things in such a hopeful light.

Like tonight, they had been sitting in silence watching Tiffany's on repeat for hours. Nobody was really watching the movie, they were just avoiding having to speak to one another.

What kind of relationship was that?

Not one he particularly wanted to be in.

Not one he could see himself in long-term, yet that was the plan everyone had for him. Blair and his parents had written his future off for him a long time ago, but he had a hard time making peace with it.

When he thought about his future there were small things that he looked forward to that he was certain he wouldn't be able to enjoy with Blair. At their core, they were too different.

At the beginning of their relationship, Blair had tried really hard to pretend to like the same things that interested Nate but she didn't and she had stopped that charade a long time ago. Probably around the same time Nate realized he wasn't in love with her.

Blair would never want to go to Yankee's games with him or have quiet nights in where they cook for themselves, listening and dancing to old records. Sure, maybe those things didn't seem all that important to other people. But they were important to him.

She had made it very clear that she would always have hired help for household tasks, and the only old record she liked was _'Moon River'_.

They even argued over stupid things, like when they were discussing what their first place together would look like. He dared mention that he'd like to maybe have a hot tub and Blair quickly vetoed it and went on a rant about how 'jacuzzis were cesspools' and didn't belong in someone's _adult_ home. _'No one will take you seriously if you make impulse buys like a child.'_

She sounded like his mother more and more as time went on.

Just the thought of that was giving Nate a migraine.

_'But, Blair's a good girl.'_

_'She's good for you Nathaniel.'_

_'I would be awfully disappointed if you ever broke up with her'_

Feeling the pressure in his head begin to build he starts to rub at his temples, praying for some type of relief.

Blair had been watching Nate out of the corner of her eye all evening. He was acting very strange but she had assumed it was due to their series of fights recently. This felt like something different though, "Are you okay?"

"Are you happy? Because I'm not."

The words come spilling out of his mouth before he can fully realize what he's getting himself into.

This wasn't a conversation he was ready to have.

But then again, when would he ever be ready for this?

"When are you ever happy Nate?" Blair was choosing not to take him seriously, wanting to believe this was Nate being dramatic. However, it did seem strange that he was suddenly telling her he wasn't happy the same week she found his sweatshirt under Odette's bed. "If you think I'm going to stand for you breaking up with me so that you can get with my friend, then the drugs have fried your brain more than I thought!"

Nate watches Blair pulls her knees to her chest before crossing her arms around herself tightly. She almost resembled a little kid throwing a tantrum.

"Blair, what are you talking about?" As usual, he always felt several steps behind when it came to their communication. "I've told you over and over that Serena was a mistake. I'm not leaving you for her."

"Oh, yeah? Was Odette a mistake too?"

Hearing this accusation stuns him. He wasn't sure where Blair could have possibly gotten that from, but it was clear she had already decided he was guilty.

As with most things, Blair played the role of, jury, judge, and executioner.

"I've never touched Odette, Blair." His tone matched his irritated expression, "This has nothing to do with anyone except you and me, Blair. We have nothing in common, it doesn't seem fair to either of us to-"

Blair doesn't give him the opportunity to finish that thought, "You want to talk about fair?" She twists her head to stare at him directly, her eyes darker in appearance than he was used to, "It's not fair that my dad left my mother and I for another man. It's not fair that no matter how hard I try, I will always feel second best to my best friend. It's not fair that my boyfriend has to get high to be around me." The more she talks, the more worked up she gets. All of this was a long time coming. Nate wasn't the only one that had been holding back. "It's not fair that my boyfriend constantly disrespects me by sleeping around behind my back. With not just strangers, but my friends."

The guilt sets in, as it always does, as she fights back tears and her face crumbles, "Blair..."

Holding a finger up to her mouth in an effort to silence him Blair takes a moment to collect herself. She had shed far too many tears over Nate, and he didn't deserve to see how broken he was making her feel.

When she finally starts to speak again, her tone settles back to its normal frequency, "Life isn't fair Nate, and relationships aren't always going to be fun and happy. Look at your parents. Do they always seem happy?"

They both knew the answer to that, "But what's wrong with me wanting more for myself?"

This time it was Nate's eyes that filled with tears. He was never one to cry really, but finally saying that out loud made him feel so many different emotions. Happy that he was finally able to get that off his chest, but defeated over the prospect that it didn't matter. He always lived his life the way others wanted him to but when was he going to get to live his life for himself?

Blair couldn't fathom where Nate was coming from and she certainly didn't understand what he meant by that last comment. In her mind, him wanting more meant _she_ wasn't enough.

"All I've done, since day one, is love and support you Nate. I don't know what more I can do?"

"That's my whole point. Relationships are going to be hard, but they shouldn't take this much out of us. They shouldn't make us feel this defeated. Not at our age."

They were teenagers, their relationship should be one of the most exciting things in their lives, they should be having fun together. They shouldn't spend all their time fighting and they definitely shouldn't both be so clearly unhappy.

"So what are you saying? You want to break up?"

There were so many times Nate wanted to have this talk, so many times that he initiated it and chickened out for one reason or another. Now here they were, the ball was completely in his court and she was waiting for his answer.

He knew it needed to be done, he wanted it, but that didn't make saying the words any easier.

"Yeah."

He had the hardest time getting that one word out, but once he says it an instant feeling of relief washes over him.

"I'm sorry Blair, I know this is hurting you. I'll go." Nate collects his coat, subtly rummaging through the pockets to make sure his pre-rolled joint was still there. All he could think about now was going home, listening to some music, and sparking up. To say he was celebrating seemed harsh, but that's exactly how it felt.

He finally got the courage to be honest with Blair, which was huge for him.

His parents were another story entirely though.

He was going to enjoy this small win for now and break the news to them another day.

_"No." _

Nate was already headed towards the elevator when he heard Blair finally speak up. As he turns back to look at her he notices she's staring intently at her large tv screen, "Sorry, did you have something else you wanted to say?"

Blair slowly turns her head to look at him, her stare was piercing and cold. Before she responds she looks back at the tv just as the movies opening credits roll once more, "No, you aren't breaking up with me."

Standing awkwardly in the Waldorf's foyer, Nate shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Had he done it? Had he finally made Blair Waldorf crack?

He was pretty certain he had seen this exact situation on an episode of Dateline.

Picking up a cookie, Blair breaks it in two and holds one of the pieces out for Nate before taking a nibble out of her own half.

Everything about Blair's demeanor told him this was her last-ditch effort at gaining control of the situation. All he had to do was walk away.

He had two options being dangled before him.

One was to go with Blair, settle for their unhappy but safe relationship. Accept that his fate was sealed and ask no questions about any of it. He'd please everyone important to him, but at the cost of his own happiness.

The second option was to turn his back on her, walk out of this apartment, and never look back. He would disappoint a lot of people, but he would know happiness and peace in a way that he hadn't in a very long time.

He was almost at the elevator when she had stopped him. He had made it further with this attempt at ending things than he ever had, and he was too close to stop now.

"Nate, come sit and let's finish the movie."

"Blair, we've already watched this movie twice tonight." His voice sounds pained.

She isn't looking at him, probably trying to brace herself for him to blow off her request and walk out.

Deep down, she knew this was a long time coming. That didn't make it suck any less.

Nate wasn't the perfect boyfriend, but with him, she could envision a perfect life; perfect house, perfect kids. Above that, her entire life had been shaken up this last year. Through it all Nate was her constant, he was her security. She wasn't ready to give that up and she wasn't ready for him to give up on her.

_'But, Blair's a good girl.'_

_'She's good for you Nathaniel.'_

_'I would be awfully disappointed if you ever broke up with her'_

Looking between the elevator and Blair he knows what he wants, but as his parent's voices cloud his mind once again he's reminded of what everyone tells him he needs, and what everyone expects of him.

With all previous hope washed from his face, he walks back into the living room and sits next to Blair.

He takes his half of the cookie from her and the two sit in complete silence once again as Breakfast at Tiffany's plays for the third time.

As with so many things before in their relationship they would pretend this never happened and continue to carry on in the only way they knew how.

Denial.

* * *

Dan was pleasantly surprised by the number of people that filled the gallery tonight.

He wasn't sure he'd ever seen the place quite this busy.

On all accounts, the night was off to a huge success. His dad was making sales, Odette had gotten some good quotes from some of the guests for them to use, and most importantly, Serena was here. There wasn't much more he could hope for.

Except maybe wishing his mom, Mack and Jenny were here to witness the success as well. But the days of them all being together seemed long gone.

_"Hey, where's Jenny tonight?"_

Odette quickly scanned the crowded space in search of the petite, mousy, blonde but she was nowhere to be seen.

"She said she needed some _'girl time'_ with my mom and sister." Dan made the point to use air quotes, "She took a train to Hudson pretty much right after school."

Odette nods carefully but her brows start to furrow as she thinks about his answer more. "How come your other sister doesn't live with you guys?"

Hearing Odette's question both Serena and Vanessa's head snap to look at Dan. Due to each of their relationships with him they, of course, knew the sensitivity regarding the division in the Humphrey family but they also knew it wasn't really something Dan liked to talk about.

"Um," Dan scratched at his head as he tried to think of the best way to go about explaining his complicated family dynamic. Before he could even answer he was given a save,

_"Deets?"_

As soon as she hears the familiar pet name she knows exactly who it is.

"Aunt Adrienne? What are you doing here?"

Dan and the others watch as Odette gets up to hug the statuesque blonde that had just approached them.

"Lily told us about this charming little gallery event and we figured we'd swing by and check it out. Hi Serena." Adrienne smiles brightly to the familiar blonde, getting an animated wave in response.

There was that word again. _'Charming'_

_"_Here hon," Adrienne's long-term partner, Alex, brings two drinks over for them before pulling Odette in for a tight squeeze, "Long time no see kid."

Alex and Adrienne were an interesting couple to see together. Mainly because they didn't really look like they fit.

Adrienne had legs for days, bright blue eyes, and long blonde hair that went down to her back. She was always dressed incredibly chic(Vivianne taught her well) and had the most soothing and sultry voice.

Alex, on the other hand, was quite short and had very dark features. She always dressed like she had just come from band practice, and by the looks of it, her band was Guns N Roses during their prime. She was brutally blunt and had an extremely raspy voice from the years of smoking. She looked nothing like what anyone had envisioned for Adrienne, mainly because she was a woman, but the two of them had been together for years now and they were happy. Which was a rare sight in their family.

"I've been around, it's you two that have been MIA."

The two middle-aged women share a glance before laughing.

"We just got back from an extended stay in India," Adrienne explains, pulling out her phone to find pictures for her niece.

Taking a large gulp of her mixed drink Alex nods, "Yes, your aunt had a very _'eat pray love'_ journey there." Both Odette and Alex share a mutual eye roll. The idea of it was so _very_ Adrienne.

"Well, since you guys are here you should meet my friend Dan's dad?" Odette gestures for Dan to get up, "His dad owns this gallery."

Alex gives the place another look over, "It's a really neat space. Brooklyn is definitely the new Manhattan in my opinion."

"How can it be the _new_ Manhattan, what would that make current-Manhattan then?"

"Old news." Alex winks playfully at her niece before focusing on Dan, "Is your dad available to have a quick chat?"

"Ye-yeah I'm sure. Let me go get him." Dan wasn't used to feeling flustered, but there was a certain presence this family seemed to demand. It caught him completely off guard.

"I'm going to grab another drink, non-alcoholic of course," Serena throws her hands up in defense as she clarifies for the adults, "Want me to grab you one Dette?"

"I'm good, thanks."

As the conversation picks up again Serena maneuvers her way through the crowd of people, trying her hardest not to rub up against anyone. Once she reaches the small, hand-made, bar she breathes a sigh of relief. "Um, just a water I guess." Definitely wasn't her first choice but this was Dan's dads' event, the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass them.

Once the bartender hands her a cup of lukewarm water Serena gives him a sheepish smile, taking a small sip and trying not to make a face at how unquenching it is. Turning her back to the bar she looks out into the crowd and can't help but notice the many different types of people here tonight. The hoards of people that filled this building were a true testament that art speaks to a lot of different people.

Art and an open bar.

An open bar that she can not partake in... it was almost too cruel.

But she was also proud of herself.

There was a time, not terribly long ago, that she wouldn't have been able to resist free drinks. Boyfriend and boyfriend's dad or not, she would have cleaned the open bar out and been too drunk to have to worry about the repercussions. It was somewhat jarring to think that's how she used to live her life.

Never taking responsibility and always, _always_, screwing something up. The new and improved Serena would never do the things old her did, and she was happy to be able to say that. For the first time in possibly her whole life she was happy with herself and who she was becoming.

She's pulled out of her thoughts of how wholesome she's become as she spots a familiar face at the gallery's front entrance. Pursing her lips together ever so slightly in confusion she makes her move across the room until she's only a couple feet away.

"What are you doing here?"

As Chuck's eyes land on Serena, he realizes she looks as lost to see him as he feels being here. "I'm here for the art."

"Did my mother invite you?" The idea of Lily Van der Woodsen inviting one of her classmates to an art gallery in Brooklyn was weird. Almost as weird as seeing Chuck Bass at an art gallery in Brooklyn. She needed some type of explanation.

Chuck didn't really want to tell Serena why he was here, mainly because he wasn't sure if Odette wanted people to know and he wanted to respect that. But, she _did_ invite him here tonight, knowing Serena was probably going to be in attendance. So, maybe she didn't mind. "Odette invited me."

"Odette?"

"Yeah. Is she here?"

Serena nods very slowly before turning around and guiding Chuck back to where she left the group. By the time they reach everyone, Rufus is now in deep conversation with Adrienne and Alex about art and music, Vanessa and Dan are talking back and forth, and Odette is scrolling aimlessly through her phone.

"Hey guys, look who I found? Chuck." Serena shoots Odette a suspicious look before going to sit at Dan's side.

Despite feeling a few pairs of judgemental eyes on her a smile springs across Odette's face at the sight of Chuck, "You actually came."

"You asked me too." Chuck shrugged, trying to maintain his typical nonchalant attitude for the watching crowd.

His act was fooling no one though. Chuck Bass didn't attend functions like this, certainly not ones in Brooklyn hosted by Humphreys, but he came to this one because Odette had asked him too.

This was a lot to try and process.

Obviously the things Gossip Girl had been saying about them were true but even with the two of them standing right before her Serena was having a difficult time making sense of what was going on.

"I feel like someone just told me the Earth is flat." With an exhausted huff Serena throws her body weight against Dan, "Nothing makes sense anymore."

"You're telling me. The world stopped making sense back when you agreed to go on a first date with me."

Serena groans, "Awe no, not a corny, self-deprecating, joke."

"Those are the best kind though." Dan pulls Serena closer to him, enjoying being in this moment with her. There was so much uncertainty in his life, it made him extra thankful for the consistency Serena had brought him recently.

Serena finally tears her eyes away from Odette and Chuck, opting to enjoy the remainder of her time with her boyfriend. But, in the back of her head, all she could think about was telling Blair what she had witnessed tonight.

* * *

Much like her sister, running with an older crowd had always greatly appealed to Coco.

Mainly because she always aspired to be older than what she was, and above that, the upperclassmen girls were just _cool_.

They had fake ID's that got them into the best bars. They had access to all the fun parties and _all_ the 'party favors'. They slept with the hottest guys at school and even sometimes hooked up with older guys. They were frequently featured on Gossip Girl which made them their own brand of Upper East Side-celebrity. They were the standard for cool in every aspect and everyone aspired to be like them.

Especially Coco.

She wasn't dumb, she knew she only was accepted into Blair's posse because of her sister. But, her sister only got her in the door. She was the one working so hard to establish relationships with all the girls in an effort to solidify her position in their ranks. It was harder to do so with Blair since Odette already had a strong claim on her, as far as friendship went. Kati and Iz were perfect for Coco though. They weren't as bitchy as Penelope, but not nearly as clueless as Hazel. There incessant need to be siamese twins was a bit weird, but it was also sort of a sign of their clear allegiance to one another.

The three girls had hit it off really quickly into the start of the year and by this point, they spent almost all their free time together.

"So what happened to you the other night?"

"Yeah, you like, totally bailed on us?"

The three of them were sprawled across Iz's bedroom floor doing hip thrust as they gossiped. Their thought was that if they were just going to lay around and socialize, they might as well work on getting their bodies right and tight in the meantime.

Coco had been trying to focus on her breathing but at the mention of the previous night she stops the mild work out and rolls over on her stomach, trying to fight her nervous smile.

"I might have done a thing. Or, rather, someone."

At this revelation, both Kati and Iz sit up, "Shut up!"

It was almost scary how frequently they spoke in perfect unison.

"You have to tell us."

"Yeah, we won't tell."

For as long as Kati and Iz had been friends they had no secrets. Maybe there were certain things they kept from the other girls, but never each other.

It was their loyalty for one another that had attracted Coco to them in the first place. She wanted nothing more than to have someone in her corner like that.

There was no one in her life she truly felt she could rely on and trust. Her mother was a drunk, her father was never around, and her and her sister fought all the time. But with Kati and Iz she had found that feeling of total security.

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't say anything?" She looks between each of them, searching their faces for acknowledgment.

"I mean, duh. That goes without saying." Iz finally says, biting down on her lower lip as she leans in closer to Coco. Whatever secret she was about to spill was going to be huge and she wanted to make sure she didn't miss a thing.

Closing her eyes, Coco feels a tremor run through her body. Despite how confident she pretended to be most of the time, in reality, she was just an insecure, fourteen-year-old girl, desperately seeking validation.

"Chuck..." She carefully watches their reactions to see if they approve of this disclosure.

Both girls had lost their virginities to Chuck as well, which was her main reason for pursuing him as hard as she had been. She hoped that by sharing this mutual bond with them that maybe it would secure her a permanent spot in this friendship. Maybe their duo could officially turn into a trio? A girl could dream.

Kati's mouth is the first to drop, "...Bass?" As if there was any other, "I don't know who I expected you to say but he was not it. Chuck Bass, are you serious?"

"I thought Gossip Girl said him and your sister hooked up?" While her question is directed at Coco, Iz stares directly at Kati, "Does she know?"

_'Unbelievable.' _

A girl's virginity was a sacred thing and her big reveal about losing it was supposed to be _huge_. Yet somehow, someway, this conversation about her had been turned into a conversation about Odette. Despite Coco constantly trying to escape Odettes' shadow, even when her sister wasn't around she still always managed to block whatever light might briefly shine on her.

"I mean, I didn't ask him if that was true or not. And no, she doesn't. I haven't had the chance to tell her yet."

"Wow," Kati shakes her head in continued dismay, "I can't believe this." Within a second her expression goes from shocked to concerned, "How was it?"

As the conversation focus switched back to her, Coco brightened up, "It was..." she hesitates briefly, "It was good. Kind of painful but I expected that."

"I get that. I bled for _days_ after my first time." Kati nods, reaching over to rub Coco's leg sympathetically.

Coco stares at her friend, completely horrified. That didn't sound normal, medically?

"You had fun though right?" Iz tilts her head slightly, trying to gauge Coco's true feelings. "I mean, from what I remember he's pretty good."

"Well he has enough experience, he should be." Kati rolls her eyes, never one to give Chuck the same props that Iz so frequently did. Kati also didn't have feelings for Chuck in the way Iz did during that time though. "He wasn't good enough to be worth the abortion."

At the harsh but needed reminder Iz's head drops in shame.

No one says anything for a few moments until Iz finally speaks up again, "My point is, I hope you actually enjoyed your first time? There's a lot I regret, and the way mine went down is definitely one."

"Same. If I could have a do-over I _so_ would."

"What do you mean?" To say she was confused would be an understatement. Her understanding had always been that their mutual experiences with Chuck had made them close. They were supposed to be impressed that she was one of them now, they shouldn't be looking at her with such pity.

"Coco, I hooked up with Chuck drunk out of my mind. Not blaming him, I mean he was wasted too. But he did go a lot harder than I would have liked. I was in a lot of pain, covered in my own throw-up, and someone recorded us and sent the video to everyone. It was an all-around awful experience." With a small shrug, Kati gets up and walks across the room to find her phone. She didn't need it, but she also wanted an excuse to walk away.

She didn't like to show it, but thinking back to that time made her extremely uncomfortable.

Everyone assumed her and Iz were easy, but that wasn't exactly the case. She messed around with guys of course, but to this day she had never had penetrative sex again.

Iz's eyes follow Kati's movement across the room, knowing her friend well enough to know she was upset. "As for me, I actually really liked Chuck, like, _a lot_. And he knows what he's doing," she laughs, but the light in her eyes fades quickly, "He knows how to get what he wants. He made me feel special... which sounds so stupid now, of course. But at the time, I thought he was really into me. You know he kicked me out immediately after? And, well, you know how the rest goes."

Iz doesn't bother carrying the conversation on any further. She didn't have it in her to get into the details of how despite his poor treatment of her after they slept together she still tried to actively pursue him. She didn't like to think about what a pathetic loser she felt like when after months of throwing herself at him he finally told her to stop and that he didn't hook up with the same girl twice. Above all, she couldn't bear talking about the shame she carries daily from getting the abortion.

She did, however, feel it was important to ask, "You were safe right?" Not that it had mattered in her case. They took every precaution and still ended up in their situation.

"Duh, I'm not an idiot."

"No, you're just young." Iz tries to smile, but it doesn't mask the somber look in her eyes.

Having recollected herself Kati sits back on the floor and finally adds, "We just hope you don't end up regretting this. Especially if he's been messing with your sister. No guy is worth that drama, especially not Chuck."

This wasn't at all how Coco had been expecting this conversation to go and quite frankly she was feeling setup.

Above all, she was pissed that on top of everything else, they kept bringing up her _stupid_ sister.

"Look, I'm sorry you guys had such bad experiences but honestly Chuck was the perfect gentlemen with me. It hurt for like a second but," She turns to Kati, "otherwise he was very gentle." she then shifts her attention to Iz, "He even offered to let me stay the night _and_ invited me back over after school today for more." With a small sigh, she resumes her previous position on her back and starts her hip thrusts routine once more, "I don't regret a thing, especially in regards to Odette. My sister doesn't own him, and clearly he prefers me if I'm the one he keeps inviting around? Now, I'm bored of this conversation. Can we change the subject?"

Kati and Iz give each other a small sideways glance before laying back down and mimicking Coco's movements, "Should we discuss what we're wearing to Blair's birthday party?"

"Definitely! It was already difficult finding two identical dresses, now we'll need three. That's going to be a nightmare, but you know my mother's assistant is always up for a challenge."

Coco freezes mid-thrust, their words fully sinking in.

_'Three?' _

A triumphant smile spreads across her face as she picks up the set once more. That is _exactly_ what she had been waiting for.

* * *

Odette is all smiles as she lounges on one of the chairs in Chuck's suite, "Thanks again for coming tonight."

Lifting his glass to her, he winks before taking a sip, "Thank you for the invite. Brooklyn still sucks but the art wasn't half bad. If you're into that suffering in silence type of work."

Sitting his empty glass on the coffee table, he scoots to the farthest end of the sofa so that he's sitting as close to Odette as he can without being obvious. "It's interesting seeing Serena and Humphrey together. I suppose she has her mother's penchant for finding worthy charity cases."

As Chuck snickers at his half-joke Odette shakes her head, "I don't know, I don't really think Dan's all that bad. Kind of a dork but I'd kind of even consider him a friend."

"Then you should probably learn to keep better company."

"But if I did that then you probably wouldn't make the list anymore." She raises her eyebrows at him teasingly, "No but seriously, you should give Dan more of a chance. He's harmless."

Listening to her disagree with him about Dan was strangely attractive. Usually, girls always told you what they _thought_ you wanted to hear. He might not be overly vocal about it but he respected independent women. They had their own opinions and weren't afraid to upset anyone by speaking on it. They also appeared to be a rare breed when it came to the girls he knew. Most followed Blair around like her little lackies. They all acted, and in some cases even dressed, the exact same. He had a theory that they all shared the same brain.

Odette, despite being friends with them, seemed different though.

"No one is harmless Swan." Chuck runs his middle finger across his jawline as he speaks, "We all have our baggage and we all are capable of plenty."

Resting her elbow against the armrest of the chair, she props her head up, "What's your baggage?"

"Probably the whole dead mom thing." He says it almost like a joke, but she can see the hurt that flashes in his eyes anytime he's made to think of Evelyn.

After looking down at his shoes, contemplating for a moment, he continues, "Honestly, that's partly why I wanted to hang out last night."

She stares at him, confusion written all over her face.

"Yesterday was uh," Chuck picks up his glass, forgetting that he's already finished it. Once he makes the realization he sets it back once more, "Yesterday was the anniversary of my mom's death."

Once he's able to get the sentence out Odette's stomach drops. She had already felt bad for unintentionally blowing him off but now she felt sick over it. "I'm so sor-"

"No." Chuck quickly cuts her off, "I don't need your sympathy."

No one says anything and the two of them sit in silence.

Finishing what's left of her champagne, Odette sits her glass next to Chuck's. "Well for what it's worth, I did try to call you last night. I can't remember the exact time."

Chuck knew exactly what time she was referring to, and he knew exactly why he wasn't able to answer her call. Part of him felt like he should tell her, but he also didn't want to ruin what they had going for them.

All of this with Odette was way out of his typical comfort zone, but she put very little pressure on him which he appreciated. It made getting closer to her easier for him. He didn't want to specify anything about their situation, but he knew he enjoyed whatever it was because the thought of upsetting her and things reverting to how they were before worried him.

Not that he would explicitly tell her that, ever.

Feeling his phone suddenly vibrate in his pocket Chuck rolls his eyes, annoyed by the interruption. As he pulls his phone out he glances at the caller ID. "It's my father. I mentioned I was going to the art show tonight and he's seemed oddly interested in hearing about it?"

Bart and Chuck weren't close, they rarely even saw one another and therefore rarely spoke. But they had an early dinner together this evening, in memory of Evelyn. Neither of them mentioned that's why they were eating together, they never did though. Difficult conversations mainly went unsaid in the Bass household. That would probably explain why Chuck had such difficulty expressing himself now.

"Let me step out and take this, I'll be right back."

Odette watches Chuck retreat into the hall, already in full-fledged conversation as he's closing the door behind him. Once he's left the room, she takes a deep breath hoping to steady her growing nerves.

She couldn't help it.

As cool and collected as she acted with him most of the time, he did make her a little nervous. Especially now that their situation was escalating.

She was a little more than surprised that Chuck kept coming around. Only because he truly was a _'one and done'_ type of guy.

They hadn't even done anything beyond kissing though.

She wasn't a prude or anything, but she was enjoying her time with him and she knew what would happen once she put out. Part of her wanted to think that she was different, an exception to his rule maybe but rationally she knew better. There were plenty of girls out there that had thought the exact same thing and all of them had been wrong. Why would she be different?

Beyond that, the idea of having sex with Chuck was also sort of intimidating.

She was no Virgin Mary, but she wasn't nearly as experienced as him. What if she wasn't up to his standards?

She had hung out with him and Nate enough, as _friends, _to catch the way he would talk about certain partners on different occasions.

There was a reason so many people didn't like him, he was a dick and the idea of him discussing her on such a personal level with his _'boys'_ mortified her.

It takes her a moment to realize that she's subconsciously tracing the outline of her tennis bracelet - it was a habit she had recently picked up whenever she got lost in her thoughts about him.

She was way too into her own head.

Things didn't need to be so heavy and she didn't need to stress about any sort of expectations. They both seemed to be enjoying this for whatever it was, for now. She needed to focus more on that, and less on the unknown.

The reality was, things may never go any further than they were right now; physically or emotionally so what was the point in stressing about it.

She knew why she continued to stress over the thoughts of it all; she wanted things to progress on all fronts.

Taking both their empty glasses in one hand she makes a beeline for the bar. Walking to the back she pulls out another bottle from the cooler but quickly realizes she's never opened a bottle of champagne on her own before.

She really didn't want to make a huge mess of his space so, she'd wait.

Placing the bottle on the flat surface of the bar she scans the rest of his inventory. He had pretty much anything she could think of, not surprising with the number of parties and people he typically had over. His suite, strangely, looked a lot different when it was just the two of them here. Maybe she was just more keen to notice his little touches throughout.

Personal pictures of him and Nate through the course of their friendship, relics from the places he'd traveled with Bart, lots of music. Though he didn't have a record player which was a real shame because she was _totally_ one of those people that swore up and down that everything sounded better on vinyl. That's okay though, maybe she'd get him a one and convert him. Not for any specific reason, as to not scare him off, even though _he_ had gifted _her_ a gorgeous and expensive piece of jewelry for her birthday.

At the thought of the extremely thoughtful gift, Odette glances down at her bracelet and admires how it shimmers, even with little to no light shining directly on it.

She hadn't told anyone that the diamond bracelet was from him because she assumed he would prefer that. He was a surprisingly private guy when it came to his _actual_ personal life.

He had no issue recounting the details of his latest conquest to anyone that would listen, yet when it came to their current situation neither of them had said much about it to anyone. Based on the looks Serena had been giving her all night she had a feeling she would have to give some answers soon but, for the time being, it was kind of nice getting to be in her own private bubble with him.

There was something about having your entire life easily-accessible by the general public, mainly via gossip girl, that really made you appreciate private moments that you got to enjoy with no audience.

While admiring Chuck's gift to her a small piece of fabric on the floor catches her eye. Due to its dark shade blending in with the carpet she almost hadn't noticed it but as she kneels down for further inspection she easily recognizes the pattern.

It was a polka-dotted, satin thong. And she had a pair just like that.

She stood up quickly, shaking her head in disgust.

There was nothing that could kill a girl's mood quite like finding another woman's underwear tossed around the room of the guy you like.

She knew she couldn't completely fault him because she knew who he was, or rather how he was. She only hoped that whoever had been wearing the thong had been a guest from a long time ago.

But, Chuck had access to the same cleaning services that were offered to every other room in the Palace, so they couldn't be _that_ old.

Her eyes involuntarily drift back down to the underwear and she notices a stitched detail along the hem.

Her polka-dotted thong had stitch work just like that. Coco stole her clothes so frequently that she had gone through a phase where she had her initials stitched into everything.

_Everything_.

This was too weird of a coincidence.

She was fairly certain that this thong laying in Chuck's suite was hers, but the idea of checking and it not being hers really grossed her out. She looks across the bar's storage for something, anything that might help.

_'Perfect.'_

Reaching into an empty ice bucket she finds a small pair of metal tongs. Without giving much more thought to the situation she grabs and pulls at the fabric with the tongs until the stitch work is fully exposed.

To her horror, 'O.R' is clearly visible in her signature vibrant pink threading.

Her first thought was that Chuck had rummaged through her drawers one of the times he had come over. Everyone knew he could be perverse, maybe stealing girls underwear was a kink for him or something.

Her brain doesn't even allow her the opportunity to really humor that thought as she remembers that she had been missing this pair of underwear for months now. Long before her and Chuck had started things up.

Suddenly visions of Coco's smug features from the night prior come quickly to mind.

_'Of course...'_

Once these dots connected it felt like everything stopped and stayed like that for a minute. She could feel the drinks and food from the night working it's way back up her throat.

She had been sitting here considering the repercussions of having sex with him, and admiring his gift and thinking about her feelings for him and low and behold, Chuck had slept with Coco? It felt like a sick joke.

He had promised her he wouldn't...

How stupid could she be to actually believe him?

She was an idiot for allowing herself to get caught up in his bullshit, _yet again_. He hadn't changed at all, he was the same piece of shit now that he was last year. He had just done a way better job at convincing her otherwise.

She can feel a cold sweat start to brim her forehead as she looks out on the suite, her eyes critically scanning every surface. Her and Chuck had just been making out in the seating area, was that where him and Coco had messed around too?

It didn't matter.

He had fucked her little sister, the precise location was irrelevant.

How could he invite her here tonight knowing what he did with her sister in this same room just the night before?

She quickly reached down and grabbed the thong, shoving it in her back pocket before hurrying for the door.

Chuck walks back in, taking a small step back as he sees her standing in front of the door.

"Sorry that took so long. He was surprisingly talkative tonight. I think he trying to get intel on Lily Van der Woodsen?" Completely unaware of the heavy tension surrounding Odette Chuck smirks to himself, "Did you want to open another bottle?"

Did she want to open another bottle, seriously? No, she wanted to _smash_ a bottle against his fucking head.

"I actually have to get going?"

She was being weak and a coward. She should scream in his face, she should slap him, at the very least. She shouldn't act like nothings wrong. But that's exactly what she was going to do.

It was difficult to even look at him. When she did all she could see was the image of him and Coco, in every position imaginable, "I'm not feeling very well." That wasn't a lie.

Chuck dropped his head down to her level, studying her with a concerned look his face, "Are you running fever?" As he reaches out to feel her forehead she dodges her head back to avoid his touch.

"Yeah. I should go."

"Ok?" He couldn't lie and say he wasn't upset that she was leaving so abruptly, but he also felt bad that she was potentially sick, "It's from being in Brooklyn, I'm telling you that place sucks." His attempt at a joke goes nowhere as she blatantly ignores him. She moves around him, making the point to go extremely out of her way to avoid even slightly touching him.

"I'll check on you tomorrow I guess, Swan?"

"Don't even worry about it." She calls this over her shoulder as she quickly walks down the hall towards the elevator.

She didn't want to seem too eager to get away from him and make him suspicious but she was also afraid she might throw up if she was in this building even a second longer.

* * *

_"...you know I'm not one to brag, but I am pretty proud of the turnout tonight."_

Dan and Rufus were just barely arriving back to the loft. Once everyone had left by ten, Dan, Vanessa, and Rufus had operated as a makeshift cleaning crew.

Cleaning up after a group of that size was no joke. If he continued to host events like the one tonight he was going to have to spring for some hired help. He knew he could always count on Dan and Vanessa but relying solely on them made him feel like he was taking advantage of their generosity.

"Your friend's aunts were incredible to talk to. They had some great pointers, and even invited me to a '_gallery owners only'_ brunch sometime in Spring." Rufus pretends to fluff his collar, "Who said your old man wasn't cool?"

"Um, your kids. Often." Dan's voice becomes strained as he struggles to get the door open.

Their building was old and recently the foundation had shifted and caused the door to start jamming which made it nearly impossible to get open, but after messing with it for a bit he finally gets it.

"I'm only kidding," Dan continues as he walks into the loft, "I'm really happy for you Dad. Maybe this is the start to a whole new chapter for Rufus Humphrey."

"Maybe." It had been a long time since Rufus had felt this optimistic towards his life. For once, his mind wasn't on his failing marriage or his strained relationship with his oldest daughter. He wasn't worried about how he was going to keep the lights on at gallery, or if he had enough money for spring tuition. For the first time in a long while he was hopeful.

Before Rufus follows him into the loft Dan's eyes settle on the three women in their living room.

"Mackenzie? Mom? Jenny, what's going on?" They should be in Hudson, what were they doing here?

Dan tries to catch Mackenzie's attention, hoping through a shared look he can get an idea of what's going on. But his sister had been away too long and she was impossible to read as she sunk further into the armchair she was sitting in, avoiding eye contact.

Once Rufus walks in and sees Alison all color drains from his face.

He had been thinking about the moment when he might see her again for so long.

Throughout the day he would constantly play different conversation scenarios out in his head trying to figure out exactly what he would say to her when given the chance.

_'A family should be together.' _It was the only thing he kept repeating the day she packed her and Mackenzie's bags. He wasn't sure how else to try and get her to stay. To this day he still didn't.

His eyes slowly drift from Alison to Mackenzie.

She looked so much older and taller since the last time he'd seen her. It had only been six months though.

How was that possible? How had she changed so much in such a short amount of time?

There was so much that he was missing out on in her life now that she was gone. But he had missed out on plenty when they were under the same roof too. He knew the distance didn't help the divide in their relationship but it was far from the cause of it.

There was so much that he wanted to say, so much he _could_ say, but for some reason, the only thing he manages to get out is, "I'm gonna make waffles."

* * *

_Drama, drama, everywhere._

_This chapter is officially my longest and oh boy, was it a lot of work! I've been worried that this chapter might not be all that interesting, but it was really important that I covered everything that I did in this update. I've said this before, but I'm not into gratuitous writing. Often times, especially in fanfiction, there are scenes that contribute nothing really to the plot or character growth. I can honestly say that there is a rhyme and a reason for every part of this story. Even if it might seem insignificant now, everything eventually will tie together._

_There were some interesting revelations made in this chapter that I'm very curious to hear your reactions to. Overall, I love reading everyone's opinions on this story. I work extremely hard at developing 'Gilded' and you all make it very worth it to me._

_Lastly, I want to thank the wonderfully talented **'greyspaces'** for allowing me to include her original character in my GG-verse. Anyone that actually reads these notes at the start and end of each chapter knows how highly I think of my friend(my *literal* S), and how much I adore this character, so being able to have her exist in this realm of FF is pretty freakin' special to me! If you don't know who Mackenzie Humphrey is, I will do my *best* to explain her history as she comes more into the fold. But, her creator does it 100X better than I ever will be able to so I do highly, highly suggest you go and read **'The Chase'** and it's ongoing sequel, **'Ultraviolet'**. The writing is incredible, and I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. If you like OC's you'll like her stories, so go get after it!_

_Once more, thank you to everyone that gives this story, and in turn me, a chance. It means more than I can truly put into words._


	9. chapter eight

_Can we take a moment to appreciate the resurgence in gossip girl fanfiction that's been happening lately? Being quarantined can really make you feel like you're going a bit crazy but how cool has it been to see so many writers updating their old stories and others posting new ones? I love it and I'm very here for it! While I generally prefer to read OC stories I'm always down to try other types so if any of you have some good story suggestions let me know :)_

_Once again I am completely blown away with the feedback I'm getting on this story! I know I sound like a broken record by now, but truly *truly* every follow, favorite, and review I get means so much to me. I work incredibly hard at trying to make this story enjoyable(and realistic) and making it new and original enough to be interesting while also trying to maintain the key aspects of the canon series/novels that we all love. So, feedback from you all is a great way for me to know that I'm doing something right, as well as inspiring me to keep going. So, I really do thank each and every one of you out there that continues to give this story(and in turn, me) a chance. _

_As always, I have to shoutout my dear friend 'greyspaces'. She is such a talented storyteller and you *will* get invested in her stories. I was not really a huge Nate Archibald fan but she made me completely fall for his character through her writing, she's *that* good. I have also incorporated her character into this story so I highly suggest you go find out more about Ms. Mackenzie Humphrey by reading 'The Chase' and then 'Ultraviolet'. Also, just in general, thank you S for supporting me through this month of no access to FF lol._

_**I want to give a special shoutout to 'Nille Brein' and '**_**_lmsweetness' _**_for being the 70th follow and 60th favorite of this story, respectively.__ I understand that's probably not a huge accomplishment to most but considering Gossip Girl has been off the air since 2012 and this is a story about an original character, this feels like a big achievement for me! So Nille Brein, __lmsweetness, __and everyone else that's following this journey thank you so much._

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, TEENAGE ALCOHOL ****USE**

**_WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS._**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any and all mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true family.

* * *

_"But she wanted him there and there he was. A lamb ready for slaughter."_

* * *

**ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ 𝟷𝟻ᴛʜ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏғ ɴᴏᴠᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ ᴅᴇᴄʟᴀʀᴇᴅ, **

** "ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴄᴀᴋᴇ." **

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴄᴀᴋᴇ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪs.

ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ? ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇs ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ. ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ʏᴇᴛ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴀʟ sᴄᴀɴᴅᴀʟ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʙʀᴇᴡɪɴɢ ɪ'ᴍ ᴄᴏɴғɪᴅᴇɴᴛ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴛᴇᴡᴏʀᴛʜʏ ᴡɪʟʟ sᴘɪʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ.

ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ᴜɴᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ/ᴏʀ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴀ ʀᴏᴄᴋ, ᴀᴋᴀ ʙʀᴏᴏᴋʟʏɴ, ʙʟᴀɪʀ ᴡᴀʟᴅᴏʀғ ɪs ᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ sᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ ʏᴇᴀʀs ᴏʟᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴍɪᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ. ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏᴜᴛᴅᴏɴᴇ sʜᴇ's ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀsᴇʟғ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴄʜɪᴄ ᴄᴇʟᴇʙʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴅᴏᴜʙᴛ ʀɪᴠᴀʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʜᴏsᴛ ᴏғ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇs ᴘᴀsᴛ, ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ.

ʜᴇʀ ɢɪғᴛ ʀᴇɢɪsᴛʀʏ ᴍᴀʏ ʙᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴜᴇsᴛ ʟɪsᴛ ɪs ǫᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴘᴏsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪɴᴠɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴡᴀʟᴅᴏʀғ sᴏɪʀᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋs ᴏғ ɪᴛ, sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ... ɪ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ sᴀʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇs. ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴀʀᴛ, ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴄᴛᴜʀᴇ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ ғᴏʀ ɪᴛsᴇʟғ. sᴀᴅ𝟺ᴜ, ʟᴇᴀᴋᴇᴅ ᴜs ᴀ sɴᴀᴘsʜᴏᴛ ᴏғ ʙ's ᴍᴏsᴛ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ɢᴜᴇsᴛ ʟɪsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɴᴏᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴇxᴄʟᴜsɪᴏɴ...

** [+ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ] **

ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴀ ɢɪʀʟ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴏ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴇxɪʟᴇᴅ ʙʏ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ ʙ? ɪ'ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ɪs ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ? ᴛʜᴀɴᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴄ sᴀᴅ𝟺ᴜ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ ɢɪʀʟ! ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ, ᴏʀ ᴡʜᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪsᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ.

**xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ**

* * *

_"What the hell?" _

Nate had been aimlessly flipping through the tv channels but hadn't come across anything that really piqued his interest. Usually, Chuck's suite provided the perfect escape and distraction from most things, but not today. Maybe it's because he was dreading Blair's birthday party later that day, or maybe he was still feeling the lingering defeat from his failed attempt at breaking up with her. Either way, he wasn't in the mood for much but at the sound of Chuck's tone he directed his attention to him.

He hadn't given him any verbal cues to continue, but he didn't need to, "Gossip Girl leaked Blair's invite list and Odette's not on it?"

Chuck seemed surprised by the words coming out of his own mouth, but Nate was far from it. He had long stopped being surprised by Blair because he had grown to expect that when given the opportunity she would always, always, take it _there_._ 'Slow down'_ wasn't a phrase in Blair Waldorf's dictionary, she only had two settings; fast and very fast and she was always several steps ahead of most of the people she surrounded herself with. Her strategic mind would be impressive if it wasn't almost always used in her own self-interest and at the expense of someone else.

In this case, Odette apparently.

Their talks obviously didn't do _shit_. Regardless of his denial and protests, Blair was still convinced him and Odette had hooked up. The worst part was that he was pretty sure Blair had never even addressed this concern with Odette and had instead knowingly written her off without another word.

Nate had put Blair through a lot over the course of their relationship and he would be the first to admit that he probably deserved a lot worse than what he got.

Odette, on the other hand, didn't deserve any of this. She had only ever been a good friend to him and Blair and yet she was the one being made to publically bear this cross for a sin she hadn't even committed.

_"Maybe it's just an oversight." _

Hearing Chuck speak up again Nate stares at him for a minute before shaking his head, "Yeah, maybe."

He didn't have it in him to admit the truth of the situation.

Chuck had been hearing Nate's many grievances with Blair and their relationship for years now. He had even knowingly helped him cheat, and cover it up, on more than one occasion. Yet for some reason, having to verbally say the words 'Blair thinks I slept with Odette' seemed ridiculous on a whole new level. Plus... "How are things with you two anyway?"

At the change of subject Chuck only shrugs, never one to really enjoy discussing women with Nate unless it was a play-by-play of some action either of them had scored. "You say _things_ like anything is happening."

This wasn't a complete lie. Odette hadn't texted him back in two days so technically nothing was happening at the moment.

"Well isn't it?"

Chuck didn't need to say much for Nate to know what was going on.

It was easy to piece together stories when there was a blog dedicated to their friend group in which people sent in all the gritty details about them that they normally wouldn't share with each other. There was something about forced over-exposure that really brought a friend group together. When it came to Gossip Girl, you had zero privacy and you had absolutely no say, but at least you had each other.

From what he had gathered, Chuck and Odette had been hanging out since her birthday a few weeks before.

And pretty frequently.

This was all very unlike Chuck.

The Chuck he knew would get bored within the hour if he didn't feel confident the girl would end up putting out that night and he definitely didn't continue to hang out with the same girls, over and over again. At least not on a one-on-one basis. But, Nate had also learned not to pry when it came to Chuck. He'd tell him what he wanted him to know and the other stuff he wouldn't.

"I should probably get going. I've got that dinner." Nate gets up slowly, quite literally dragging his feet to the door.

As fate would have it the two most domineering people in his life shared the same birthday. This evening he was expected at a dinner for his grandfather and tonight he would have to be all smiles at Blair's party. Today was going to blow, all the way around, and there wasn't a thing he could do to make it better. "I'll drop by Blair's and see what's going on with the whole birthday list snub though."

At Nate's last comment Chuck's brows knitted together slightly, "I mean, I just thought it was strange, but you do what you want."

"Mhm." Before Chuck can catch the hint of disbelief in his tone Nate daps him up, "I'll catch you later tonight at the party, man."

While his grandfather's dinner would no doubt be brutally boring, Blair's birthday was sure to be an unbearable hell if Chuck didn't stay long. Hence he really had to make sure Odette was still invited.

Whether Chuck chose to acknowledge it or not it was obvious he was at least a _little_ worried she wasn't going to be there.

* * *

_**To: Odette, Iz**_

_**From: Kati**_

_**Have you seen gg?**_

_**-K**_

_**To: Odette, Kati**_

_**From: Iz**_

_**Yeah, what's the deal with that?**_

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Hazel**_

_**wow, that's harsh... what'd you do?**_

_**To: Hazel, Kati, Iz, Coco, Odette**_

_**From: Penelope**_

_**Ok girls, everyone meet at my house at 7:30 and my driver will take us to B's party!**_

_**To: Penelope, Kati, Iz, Coco, Odette**_

_**From: Hazel**_

_**Wrong gm P...**_

_**To: Hazel, Kati, Iz, Coco, Odette**_

_**From: Penelope**_

_**Oh! Sorry Dette, force of habit :)**_

Looking down at the thread of messages that ran down her phone screen Odette fights the urge to throw her phone at the closest wall.

She hadn't seen gossip girls latest blast yet but apparently it had something to do with her and her lack of inclusion in tonight's festivities. Everyone else might be shocked, some of them smug even, but this revelation was by no means _breaking news_ to her. She had known since the previous night that this was coming.

_'All the girls had been pretty surprised when Blair never showed up for their usual morning meetup at the met steps on Friday._

_ Most of the girls had remained rather lost the rest of the day as Blair never ended up showing for the school day either. _

_Serena and Odette had both texted her and she gave some excuse about needing the day to perfect plans for her party the following day. Skipping out on school was not at all a Blair Waldorf move, but she also was a complete diva when it came to her birthday(especially) so maybe it made sense._

_Towards the end of her morning classes, just before lunch, Odette received a text from Blair asking her to come by after school. Odette was surprised she was the only one included in the message but didn't think much of it before shooting Blair a confirmation text back. _

_That afternoon, as soon as the elevator doors opened revealing the Waldorf's expansive foyer, Odette was greeted by the family's housekeeper. _

_"Hey, Dorota."_

_Odette always made a point to be friendly with the Waldorfs house staff. Especially Dorota, because she felt a little bad for her. Blair could be a lot to handle and yet Dorota had been doing just that for years. __She had the patience of a saint apparently. _

_Dorota could always be somewhat timid, she wasn't expected to really interact with houseguest that much, but today was different. She wouldn't even make eye contact with Odette as she gave a small, 'hi' back._

_ "Ms. Blair expecting you."_

_"Right... I'll just head up there then." Something felt off but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Instead of thinking too deeply into it Odette quickly hurried across the checkered marble floors and up the stairs towards Blair's room. _

_Once she pushed the bedroom door open she could see Blair sitting perfectly upright in her bed. She was in a pair of her monogrammed, silk, pajamas, and her waist was completely tucked under the covers, but she didn't look like she was fully committed to settling in for the night. _

_Because of her fair skin, Blair always seemed somewhat like a china doll to Odette but this was especially true in moments like this. When she posed herself in this way; so structured, so stiff. _

_"Hey B." _

_As she moved closer she could clearly see Blair was not wearing any sort of makeup, which was surprising since anytime she had company over she tended to want to present herself a 'certain way'. She had an image to uphold, after all. But today she looked very different than Odette had ever seen her. She had deep discoloration under her eyes, a tell-tale sign that she hadn't been sleeping. Maybe that's why she had skipped out on school and was in bed, in her sleepwear, at six o'clock on a Friday._

_Odette had both visited, and slept-over at, Blair's numerous times and by this point felt comfortable enough to kick off her shoes and climb into the bed with her. _

_"It was weird not seeing you today. I swear those girls don't know how to breathe unless you tell them to do so. Can't. Function. Without. Superior." Odette mimics a robot, moving her hands in gesture with each word before breaking out into a small laugh. _

_Blair doesn't laugh, or even acknowledge this, as she stares almost blankly ahead at her Nova Scotia 796 blue walls. After several beats of complete silence passes between the two Blair finally turns and makes direct eye contact with Odette. This was her first time even acknowledging that Odette had come into the room at all. _

_"So, Nate is cheating on me." _

_'This again?' _

_It was taking everything in Odette to not roll her eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of this situation. They had literally just had this same conversation earlier in the week. _

_She couldn't keep going on this rollercoaster with Blair, it was too much. _

_Talking her down, only for her to put herself immediately back up on the ledge was becoming their new normal. She wasn't Dorota and she didn't have the patience for this. Especially when there were people with real problems in the world. _

_Like her. And the fact her little sister had hooked up with Chuck._

_She wanted to say it, but Blair would probably not appreciate the change of topics and shift of center focus off of herself. Blair also didn't have a little sister so the sheer horror of the situation wouldn't resonate as deeply as it should. _

_And it should - it was completely fucked up and it had been messing with Odette's head since she had found out. It was literally never far from her mind, as much as she tried to push thoughts of it away she couldn't._

_But, this conversation wasn't about her or her issues._

_"We talked about this B. It's normal for you to be suspicious but,"_

_Blair doesn't even let her finish as she cuts her off, __"No, I know for a fact he is. I even found out who with." _

_'Seriously Nate?' _

_Odette visibly shook her head in disappointment. She had always prided herself on not being as caught up by the Nate Archibald charm as so many of her peers seemed to be, but she did like Nate. _

_As a friend at least. _

_She expected him to be better and if he couldn't be, then she expected him to be man enough to walk away from the relationship instead of sleeping around on Blair. Again. _

_"I'm so sorry Blair." _

_"For what? Sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back, or playing dumb about it to my face?"_

_It takes Odette a moment to register what's just been said. She had heard it of course, but the words coming out of Blair's mouth didn't make sense. She quickly sits up, shaking her head rapidly, "What? Are you joking?" It wasn't her most eloquent argument, but she was also feeling extremely put on the spot. _

_"Do I look like I'm joking?" _

_She did not. _

_Her eyes were colder than usual, and if looks could kill Odette would have been dead on arrival. _

_"I would never do that to you." __She meant that. "You have to believe me."_

_But Blair wasn't having any of it. She had already long made up her mind about Odette. In the court of Blair Waldorf it was guilty until proven innocent and nothing about Odette's reaction or pleas were persuading her. _

_"I thought Serena sleeping with Nate was the worst thing a friend could do to me. But you," Blair looks her former friend up and down, disgust dripping from her tone, "You comforted me through it," and the others before that, "and then turned around and did the exact same thing. What are you, some 'American Pyscho' worthy sociopath?" _

_This wasn't the time to lose her voice but Odette couldn't help it. She could barely hear Blair over the sound of blood pounding in her ears. Her chest was growing tighter as her heart rate picked up. __Her heart was beating so viciously that she was almost concerned it might at any moment spring forth out of her chest. _

_Like clockwork, her fingers fumble around the bed in search of her purse. If ever there was a moment when she needed her trusty pills, this was it. _

_She quickly curses herself as it dawns on her that she had in fact left them at home. She really shouldn't have gone cold turkey because now that she needed the pills, and didn't have them, she truly felt as though she might throw up from the increasing stress of the situation at hand. _

_Blair watched with contempt clear in her eyes as Odette started to crack under the pressure. It was beyond obvious by her reaction that she was guilty. "You are so pathetic. If it weren't for me, you'd be a nobody outside of your family name. I made you someone important! If it wasn't for me you'd still be doing hard drugs in Chuck's apartment, making a complete fool out of yourself. Remember those days?" _

_Of course she did. _

_"I saved you from social obscurity and made you someone to respect and this is how you repay me?" _

_As Blair continued to read her to filth Odette was left with the overwhelming sensation of being unable to catch her breath. She could barely breathe, let alone defend herself from this verbal attack. _

_Watching as tears pool in the corner of her wide eyes Blair cocks her head slightly, "You're not seriously going to cry are you?" If anyone deserved to cry it was her, but she would never show Odette how hurt she was. _

_All she ever wanted, craved even, was to be loved in the way her father had always assured her she deserved. He didn't show her by treating her mother as such, but he had built a sense of hopeless romanticism in Blair from a young age. She wanted nothing more than happily ever after with her perfect prince. From a young age she thought that her prince was Nate Archibald, but she was becoming further disillusioned by the day. _

_The entire fantasy with fairytales is that Prince Charming never fucked Cinderella's ugly stepsisters. He chose her and only her. Was it really so much for Blair to ask for that same kind of loyalty? Didn't she deserve it?_

_"Blair," As Odette started to talk she wasn't completely sure where she was going with the conversation but she knew she couldn't stay silent, "I would never do anything with Nate, I promise. Not only out of respect to you but also because I...I," she could feel bile start to rise in her throat, "I have real feelings for Chuck. Or, had. I don't know, that's all kind of a mess right now but-"_

_"Yeah, sleeping with his best friend can really complicate things."_

_She fully ignored this jab as she continued, "My point is that Chuck is the one I like, I don't have any interest in Nate in that way." _

_"You're really going to sit here and continue to lie to me?" Before she can respond to this, Blair holds up her hand to silence her, "I'm done with this conversation and beyond this, done with you. I think it goes without saying that you are obviously no longer welcomed at my party." '_

Odette didn't consider herself much of a crier but after Blair's verbal smackdown she had gone home and cried in the shower for over an hour.

The talk had been brutal.

She had never had anyone talk to her with so much venom and disgust, and she didn't really know how to move forward from it.

She hadn't slept with Nate yet for whatever reason Blair chose to believe that she had, and there was nothing she could say to convince her otherwise.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Chuck**_

_**are you okay?**_

Seeing Chuck's latest, out of a string of messages, made Odette's hand instantly recoil from grabbing her phone.

She had nothing to say to him and wished he would catch the hint already.

For someone that had surely blown off his fair share of girls, in his case post-coital, she couldn't believe how unaware he seemed to be that she was attempting to do the same to him.

He had _slept_ with her sister.

She knew he did because she had found the proof.

She had been avoiding him at all costs since. Every text, every call, and whenever she spotted him headed in her direction at school she quickly took off in the opposite direction. She knew she couldn't avoid him, or this issue, forever but for now she wanted to.

How had things gotten so screwed up?

She was sixteen, she should be enjoying all that her adolescence has to offer her but instead, she had her heart broken twice in one week. First by her sister, and now by her best friend.

She was hurt by Chuck of course, but that seemed insignificant in comparison to the way the two girls had shattered her heart into pieces. She was just barely starting to develop feelings for Chuck, but she loved Coco and Blair. The heartbreak from them was far worse.

Worst of all, she had no one to talk to about it. Her mother was too drunk and wrapped up in her own world. Her dad was too busy. She was pissed at her sister, and all her other friends were also friends with Blair and would take her side(if they knew what was good for them).

She had never felt so alone in the world.

As tears start to roll down her cheeks once again she feels her phone vibrate against the mattress. Grabbing for it she rolls her eyes, fully expecting it to be Chuck calling. _Again_. But reading the caller ID she's pleasantly surprised, wiping her eyes as she answers, "Hey, Pops?"

* * *

The Vanderbilt name carried a great amount of prestige amongst not only the Upper East Side but Manhattan as a whole. They were a political family with old money, long family lines, and big family houses.

The five-story recovered family brownstone on East 79th was not only an impressive piece of real estate but it was as immaculate as the family that resided in it.

Nate loved his family, but he didn't always love being around them.

Maybe he was just dreading the usual, and expected, ongoing competition with his older cousin Tripp for their grandfather's approval.

Tripp would win this one in a landslide. Mainly because Nate didn't have a whole lot going for him at the moment.

He was barely passing religion, which was a nearly impossible class to fail. His relationship was terrible, and his coach had ripped him a new one for gaining several minutes in his running time. His life was pretty much shit right now and he wished he could be off somewhere smoking a fat joint instead of sitting here, feigning interest in his aunt's conversation with his mother about an upcoming charity event they were all involved with.

Taking a quick glance around the room he sees that tonight's crowd is comprised of the usuals. His cousins, and great aunts and uncles, even his great grandmother had been brought home for the occasion.

She had been living in a highly sought after nursing care facility in Queens for the past six years. After her eightieth birthday, she had never really been the same.

She was a sweet woman, but she was constantly forgetting who she was, and in turn, who they all were.

The family had grown so accustomed to these _moments_ of hers that they stopped acknowledging it, or her when it happened. The whole thing was kind of sad, really.

Nate watches at the elderly woman sits in a lavish armchair in the corner staring blankly ahead. He should go say hello, but he also didn't see the point when she wouldn't even know who he was.

The one person Nate didn't spot around the room was his dad. This only seemed weird because usually, he couldn't resist trying to show up Nate's uncle William(the second).

Getting up from his spot on the sofa he moves across the room towards his grandmother. He didn't want to draw too much attention to Howard's absence and his grandmother tended to be the only one in this family to not act in her own self-interest, and try to embarrass them.

"Grandma?"

"Awe, Nate the great." Cherry speaks in almost a sing-song voice as she smiles enthusiastically to her grandson, "I'm so glad you could join us tonight, sweetheart. It means the world to your grandfather."

"Of course." Nate smiles softly, nodding his head slightly in a way to show to respect to her, "I was wondering if you've seen my dad, possibly?"

Cherry's eyes subtly shift around the room before settling back on Nate, "He said he needed to take an important call and stepped upstairs into the study." She lifts her wrist, studying the shifting hand of her diamond-encrusted Dior watch before continuing, "But that was at least twenty minutes ago."

Before Nate can respond to her the sound of the doorbell echos through the room, signaling all of them to another arrival.

"I should get that." Giving Nate's arms a small squeeze, Cherry moves around him and towards the front of the home.

As everyone's focus shifts to the entryway, to see who has just arrived, Nate makes a hasty escape out of the large room, into the hallway, and up the stairs in search of his dad.

Howard had grown up in an upper-middle-class family in Alexandria, Virginia. He had gotten into Dartmouth partly on scholarship where he had studied finance and after graduation he had moved to New York and met Anne, purely out of luck. Thanks to a lot of help from William, Howard had climbed up the ladder in his career field and in turn made lots of money to afford Anne and Nate the privileged life in which they lived. But it was all at a cost.

If it wasn't for William, Howard wouldn't be in the position he was and he never let him forget it either.

Howard was, by all accounts, the outsider of the family. Unlike the other spouses that had been married in, for whatever reason the Vanderbilts stuck their noses up at him. Maybe not directly to his face, but everyone knew they did nonetheless. No matter how hard he worked and how much he achieved, the Vanderbilts had never fully accepted Howard into their family and they likely never would.

Howard had been dreading tonight almost more than Nate had and even though his dad could ride his ass sometimes, he still had a lot of respect and admiration for him, and overall just wanted to make sure he was okay.

* * *

Blair's party was already in relatively full swing.

They had just started letting people in but space was already quickly filling up.

"This is incredible B! Kati really hooked it up." Serena looks around the upscale apartment in awe. Anytime she was in nice apartments, like this, she liked to imagine what her own swanky place might look like one day.

A girl could, and would, dream of days where she wasn't stuck in the same household as her mother.

"She did _alright_."

She did a wonderful job but Blair was never one to give compliments easily. Her eyes suddenly drop to her phone as she feels an alert come through, hoping it was Nate texting her to apologize for fighting with her on her birthday, and over Odette of all people.

It wasn't.

She had been elated to see him waltzing through her foyer earlier that day, but the feeling was fleeting. He quickly made it clear he was there to speak on Odette's part and laid it out for Blair how _'ridiculous'_ she was behaving; _"She's your friend." "Nothing happened." _

All things she had heard before.

Blair hadn't changed her mind about disinviting Odette, and now Nate was upset with her. Which, in turn, made her angrier with him and therefore resent Odette more. It was a vicious, toxic, cycle that had been building all day.

The disappointment was clear on Blair's face but Serena was having a difficult time understanding what the cause could be. "Hey," she searches her best friend's doe eyes for some sort of indication, offering a sheepish smile, "It's your birthday B, why the long face?"

"Technically my birthday isn't for a few more hours." Blair offers with a small sigh, "I guess I just have the birthday blues."

"Is that a thing?"

Serena had never known Blair to not be completely obsessed with her own birthday. A day where everyone was forced to celebrate her completely? It was kind of Blair's dream in life. But the solemn look on her best friend's face didn't match the excitement Serena had expected from her.

"Do you need to talk B?"

Blair's lips momentarily drop into a small pout before she quickly regains her composure. She should be able to discuss her issues with her best friend but considering Nate had cheated with Serena too, Blair didn't particularly feel like being comforted by her over this particular situation.

The betrayal she felt by those closest to her was taking a true toll on her soul.

Blair Waldorf was by no stretch of the imagination a perfect person. But, she tried to be. She tried to look perfect, be the perfect daughter, be the perfect partner and friend. In the end, it never mattered because no one seemed to actually care enough to value her and her wellbeing. Not her father when he ran off with another man abandoning her, not her boyfriend who cheated and made a fool of her constantly, and certainly not her best friends who she should be able to trust wholeheartedly but couldn't because they both betrayed her in one of the worst ways.

Yet she was the one expected to just _'move on'_ and_ 'get over it'_. That's what she always did, after all. Except not really. She never did get over any of it, all of it lingered in her mind and slowly ate away at her heart. Why was she always expected to be the bigger and better person when none of them ever were?

The audacity of Nate showing up at her place and picking a fight with her on her birthday because she chose to make a stand against Odette and her betrayal.

And now, he was so upset with her about Odette that he was ignoring her? On her birthday?

She was beginning to think Nate reveled in making an absolute fool out of her.

The more she's in her own head, the angrier she gets. But her party certainly wasn't the time or place to lose her cool. So, like all the times before she tucked all her feelings away and forced herself to smile through it.

"I'm fine, really! Let's get a drink or some sushi."

Serena bites down gently on her lower lip, a playful look flashing across her face, "Well, you know I can never turn down good nigiri. Come on, birthday girl!" Throwing an arm over her friend's petite frame, she pulls her in closer and guides her in the direction of the sushi bar.

* * *

It hadn't been terribly long that Dan, Jenny, and Rufus had become a Humphrey-party of three. But it had been long enough that having Alison and Mackenzie back felt..._weird_.

Jenny and Mack hadn't shared a room in what felt like a long time. And they hadn't shared a bed since they were really young. Sharing Jenny's bed was sort of fun the first night. But by the second, it was inconvenient to say the very least.

Jenny's bed was barely a step up from a twin size mattress so with the two girls sharing it really felt like a tight squeeze. Add to that how uncomfortable the feeling was of each of their body heats radiating off each other all night long. Both girls had woken up that morning drenched in sticky sweat, but neither chose to comment on it.

A small argument did ensue over who had first dibs on the shower though.

Considering Rufus and Alison were extremely estranged, it was inappropriate for them to share a bed and the loft only offered so many. Rufus was a gentleman, at least enough so to never consider making the mother of his children, adulterer or not, sleep on the couch. So, Alison got Rufus's bed and Rufus got the couch. This felt all too familiar to them both. This had been the exact sleeping arrangement for months before Alison had left.

Rufus had been wide awake that previous night and he thought back on how much effort they put into acting like everything was normal for their kids. He and Alison hadn't been intimate for close to a year before she left. But when the kids were around there were small kisses here and there. He slept on the couch every night but woke up early enough to hide all the evidence. As far as the children were concerned, things were completely normal. Which is probably why they felt so blindsided when Alison decided to move out.

Alison appreciated Rufus's gesture of letting her have the bed, but it felt pretty surreal for her to be back in her marital bed. She spent most of her nights thinking about the fights they had gotten into over their years in this very apartment. With such a small living space they had to make do with what they had. It was almost funny to think back on the times they would come into this tiny, cramped, room and whisper and hiss at each other their grievances in an attempt to keep the kids out of it. She missed being around Dan and Jenny every day, she even missed Rufus a little. But she didn't miss the life they were living here towards the end of it all.

A fake life. A charade for her children where she wore a smile but was truly miserable.

Things were quite the opposite in Hudson.

She was happy.

The happiest she had been in a long time.

But then Jenny showed up at her door, begging her to come home and fix their family. She had been off living in her fantasy world for too long, Jenny had quickly brought her back to reality. She was a mother to three children, not just one, and she owed it to them to try and fix things with their father. Even if she didn't know where to start, or if she even really wanted to.

Dan was the only Humphrey who didn't need to sacrifice his sleeping space but he still wasn't getting much rest either. He mainly stayed up most of the night thinking through the many, many, issues of his broken family.

Currently, no one in the Humphrey home felt very at ease. Nighttime was sleepless, and the days were filled with awkward small talk, and everyone tip-toeing on eggshells.

Rufus and Alison had a lot they needed to discuss, but with their three teenagers in a small loft there wasn't a ton of privacy.

However, the siblings didn't want to be present for this big talk they knew was coming any more than the adults wanted them there.

Needless to say, when the opportunity came to get away from the loft Dan, Jenny, and Mackenzie had all jumped at the opportunity.

_"I feel kinda weird just showing up to some girl's birthday party that I don't know? Won't she mind?"_

Dan and Jenny exchange a small look. They both knew that Blair probably wouldn't be thrilled to see that they brought a plus one to her _'ultra-exclusive' _party. But, considering what gossip girl had posted earlier today there seemed to be a new opening on the guest list at least.

"It's fine Mack. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay at the loft alone with mom and dad?"

Mackenzie quickly brings a finger up to Dan, shooting him a warning look, "Okay, the heavy passive-aggressiveness is not needed Daniel." As her hands drop back to her sides she instinctively begins to turn her ring around her finger.

She didn't want to admit it, but she was kind of nervous. Mainly because she had no clue what she was walking into.

Living in Hudson with their mom had created a real disconnect between her and her siblings. She knew relatively nothing about their lives here anymore except for the fact that they went to school with next level mean girls, date rapists, and trust fund babies. Nothing about the way either Dan or Jenny talked about their schoolmates made Mackenzie want to meet, or be around them. But, being stuck at home with her parents as they finally discussed their broken marriage was easily a worse scenario.

"They're not all bad, Kenzie." Jenny finally spoke up, nudging her older sister as they walked down the sidewalk in the direction of the party address.

Dan tried incredibly hard to not pull a face at Jenny's comment, but he did _strongly_ disagree.

Despite Dan's attempt to not show his feeling so clearly, Mackenzie knew her brother too well and could see that familiar look of judgment plain on his face.

"At least I'll be able to finally meet the illustrious Serena..." Mack offers, shifting her focus directly on Jenny, "She's literally all he talks to mom about when he calls."

"Well, then you aren't missing much. She's pretty much all he talks about in general."

Dan grimaces as his two sisters laugh at his expense, "I've missed this. You know, you guys talking about me like I'm not here."

He was getting annoyed.

Usually, Jenny would back down once she noticed Dan getting worked up but something about having Mackenzie here and the girls to Dan ratio being higher than normal made her feel much more empowered. Lately, it almost always felt like Rufus and Dan versus her. But having Mackenzie back restored balance to her universe.

Truthfully, Mackenzie _did_ miss this. She missed her sister and more importantly she missed her and her sister teasing their brother mercilessly.

_"Jen, do you hear something?" _

"Nope, not a thing."

Dan abruptly stops walking, almost tempted to turn the opposite way, and head back home. But before he can say anything both sisters wrap an arm around either shoulder and pull him further along with them.

_"Oh, you relax."_

_"Always so grumpy."_

In a time when things felt so different, it was comforting to know some things with them never really changed.

* * *

There were moments in one's life that completely changed their outlook on the life they once knew.

Death.

Divorce.

Heartbreak.

All of these could make one bitter to the world.

For Nate, this moment was watching his dad rail a line of cocaine off his grandfather's cherrywood desk.

While he preferred herbal drugs, the harder stuff had never phased Nate much. That was to be expected when you were best friends with Chuck Bass after all.

But, there was a distinct difference between doing lines with your friends and walking in on your father doing them.

Howard was by no means the perfect father. He was demanding and tended to live vicariously through his son, but Nate still looked up to him nonetheless. The crushing feeling of being so greatly disappointed by someone you admire was overwhelming.

The horrified look in The Captain's eyes once he realized he was caught would likely haunt Nate for a long time. Before anything could be said he quickly turned back around, closing the study door behind him. He could hear Howard call his name but it did nothing to stop him.

He would deal with this as he dealt with most things that made him uncomfortable; he'd avoid talking about it.

_"There you are Nathanial, come say hello." _

Nate was in a daze and walking across the room felt more like a glide.

Several more dinner guests had arrived in the short amount of time he was away and it was expected of all the grandkids to take the time to go around and acknowledge each one.

But as he greeted vaguely familiar faces, and was introduced to new ones, they all seemed to blend together. Within seconds of moving from one person to the next, he couldn't possibly remember who he had just been talking to prior. He went through the motions like clockwork, but in his mind, the scene he walked in on with his father played on repeat.

It was strange to see an adult behaving in a way that was so unbecoming of a parent and he really wasn't sure how they would move forward from this. Nate didn't want to talk about it with him, but he also didn't know how he was ever going to look his father in the eyes again.

_"Hey, Stranger."_

Looking in the direction of this sound of this voice, his eyes land on a _very_ familiar face and an instant feeling of relief washes over him, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

With a small shrug, Odette pushes herself up from the loveseat and moves closer to Nate, "Nonnie wasn't feeling well and Pops didn't want to come alone." Her eyes drift to the side, watching David interact with William and some of the other men, "I don't know why he was so worried though, he seems to be doing just fine."

Following her eyes, Nate stares at the men for a moment before cracking a smile, "I don't blame him. You never know what you're going to get when you stick the two of them in a room together."

Odette nods, a small, involuntarily laugh escaping her. The Vanderbilts and the Rockefellers were old, _old_, money, which in turn made William and David very old friends. But the term friends somewhat depended on the day. As much as they got along in some aspects, there were others in which they completely butted heads. Both were domineering, alpha males, and both were the heads of their respective families and therefore didn't like to back down to the other on anything. In many ways, their friendship was an ongoing game of chess, each one trying to outwit and therefore outplay the other.

"Classic frienemies. They're basically the old man version of Blair and Serena."

At this comparison, Nate briefly closes his eyes as he stifles a laugh, "Actually, yeah."

After a beat has passed, and their humored expressions fade, Nate notices a familiar look of melancholy behind Odette's eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah!" her features quickly become animated once more, "I'm just _so_ hungry."

He knew exactly where her sadness stemmed from but that was yet another uncomfortable conversation he wasn't prepared to have at the moment. Possibly ever.

"Dinner should be starting soon enough, wanna go find our seats?" He offers her his elbow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Well, well, I didn't realize you were _such_ gentlemen." With a small smirk, Odette takes hold of his arm and allows him to escort her into the massive formal dining room.

"I have my moments."

The room itself was huge, but the table size was even more impressive. It was custom made to seat forty people and was always decorated exceptionally well.

Cherry Vanderbilt had quite an eye for presentation. She didn't stage anything herself of course, but she knew exactly how to express her vision to the staff and coach them through the setup.

The two teens walk slowly around the massive table, reading each name card carefully.

"Balous Yutzy?" Odette's face scrunches up as she reads this name off to Nate, "_Bleh_. His parents must have hated him."

Nate watches as she mimics gagging herself.

"I'll raise you one Balous, for a Ms. Bronwyn Tilly." He adopts an over-the-top, west Sussex accent, despite the fact that no one in attendance tonight was in fact British.

Clearing her throat, Odette attempts to match his choice of dialect, "Presenting, Mr. Ludlow Grey."

Where Nate sounded properly posh, Odette's was quite the opposite. She spoke with a cockney accent à la Eliza Doolittle in _'My Fair Lady'_.

Her faux-accent was ridiculous, and she likely knew it, but that didn't deter her any. This was something Nate had always liked about Odette. She wasn't afraid to cut loose with him, regardless of how she may look. Most of the girls they knew, his own girlfriend included, felt they had an image to preserve and therefore never did anything that swayed from that and could be considered potentially embarrassing. But Odette, at least with him, never seemed to have these concerns. It felt nice to be able to laugh and be silly with someone, and it was serving as the perfect distraction from his previous encounter with his father.

"That's actually _Ms._ Ludlow Grey to you." Nate points his finger as if to reprimand her for this blunder.

"You're joking?" Covering her mouth with both hands Odette bursts into a fit of giggles, "Yuck! All these names are _so_ pretentious."

"Says the girl named after a Russian ballet character." As Odette's mouth drops at this read, Nate sticks his hands up in defense, "I'm just saying."

"That's actually an _iconic_ Russian ballet character to you." As Odette points her finger back at Nate in imitation he softly swats her hand away, shaking his head in bemusement.

As the laughter between the two dies down they're left in comfortable silence, smiling at each other.

After realizing he's been looking at her, and not saying anything, for far too long Nate quickly moves to the next place setting, "Ah, here we go. One, Odette Rockefeller." Nate lifts the name card up as if to toast her with it.

Biting down on the corner of her lower lip in concentration, Odette's eyes scan the length of the table in search of Nate's name. Finally, she spots it and raises it up with a grin, "I'll be damned, it's the one and only, _Nathaniel_ Archibald."

Still holding her name card in his hand Nate moves to where she is standing, "Not entirely true. There's also the basketball player." Nate feigns disappointment, "Easily more impressive than me. You know he-"

Odette quickly waves her hands in objection, "Wait, I don't want this athlete biography I know you're about to embark on." She knew him too well. She also knew he was joking, mostly, but that didn't stop her from going along with it, "Did your grandfather invite this _impressive_ namesake of yours? No? Well then, it looks like you _are_ the one and only Nathanial Archibald here, and more importantly, you're the one and only Nathaniel Archibald that I know, and I think you're pretty impressive." Their eyes settle on each other once again, "At least your posh accent is anyway. That has to count for something."

"It does." Nate doesn't break eye contact with her as he nods slowly to what she's saying. It was strange, but her words really lifted his mood. He was so used to being told everything he did wrong or could be doing better, and it felt good to be complimented. Even if it was just about some silly accent. Though, as they looked at one another he couldn't help but wonder if she maybe meant it in more than just that context

Odette notes that the moments of silence that passed between her and Nate felt very different from her and Chuck. Nate didn't make her at all nervous and there was a feeling of comfortability that washed over her anytime she was around him. Probably because she had known him forever. There was something to be said for those life-long relationships. They had grown up together and had so many memories over the years. Their families were close, most of the time. In a lot of ways, Nate kind of felt like home.

Looking away from him she reads yet another name card, "Looks like you'll be seated next to..." She paused for a moment, rereading the name carefully as she tries to maintain her breathing pattern, "Um.. Anderson Cooper. Cool, _cool_." Odette did her best to remain collected but her best wasn't nearly convincing at all.

As a fan of investigative journalism, Odette had always held Anderson Cooper in high regard. Not to mention his mother Gloria was a New York society icon.

She had always known they were related to Nate but she had never had the _privilege_ of meeting them. Mostly because of the fact that Gloria and William were constantly switching from loving one another to not being able to stand the other. Each time they got in a fight it lasted longer than the one before and truthfully, Gloria nor Anderson had attended a Vanderbilt family function since Nate was ten. But, the siblings had very recently made up and everyone was looking forward to having the famous mother and son duo at the dinner tonight.

"Well isn't that just great! You get Anderson Cooper and I get _Ms._ Ludlow Grey. What a cruel world this is."

"Anderson is cool, but..." Nate flicks Anderson's name card and sets Odette's in its place, "I'd really rather sit next to you." Most of the conversations of the evening would be terribly boring but at least if Odette was there they could make things more bearable by slyly making fun of everyone.

"Aren't you the sweetest." Odette looks between Nate and the name cards for a moment, "But don't you think I could switch seats with _you_ instead?"

Nate grips his heart, shaking his head in dismay, "Ouch, I thought you said I was impressive?"

"You are, but come on...he's Anderson freakin' Cooper!" Odette keeps a straight face before cracking a smile as she dips in towards Nate, nudging him with a shoulder, "I'm kidding. Mostly. I'd be honored to sit next to you Nate. Besides, I'm sure Lady Ludlow won't complain about having to sit next to Anderson instead."

"Whoa, _Lady_ Ludlow? You're getting a little _too_ crazy with it now."

"Sorry not sorry, I think Lady Ludlow sounds much posher." As she talks she breaks out into the cockney accent once again.

"You're _so_ anything but posh Odette," Nate chuckles to himself, rubbing his chin as he continues to speak, "But that's okay, I like that about you."

"Wanna know what I like about you?" Before he can answer Odette leans into Nate, wrapping her arms around him in the form of a side hug. She brings her lips as close to his ear as she can before whispering, "I like that you can introduce me to Anderson Cooper tonight."

"Hmm. I should've known, you're just a user, _Lady_ Rockefeller." As he finishes speaking his hands find their place on her waist where he jabs her lightly in an effort to tickle her.

"Hey!" Odette squirms under his touch. Once she breaks free she jabs a finger at him, "Hands to yourself Archibald."

Her tone is playful but firm.

As much fun as she was having joking around with Nate, a small feeling of guilt was creeping its way in. Blair already thought they were sleeping together so they really shouldn't be teasing each other this way. It could easily be construed as flirting.

_'Yeah, but that wasn't flirting. You're friends and you were just playing around.'_

Despite the voice in her head trying to justify it she couldn't help but feel that maybe they were being a little _too_ friendly.

After all, he was dating _her_ best friend, and she had her own _situation-ship_ with _his_ best friend. And none of those relationships needed to become further complicated by Odette and Nate unintentionally crossing some already very blurry lines.

* * *

To say Blair was drunk was an understatement.

She was never one to allow herself to get trashed in front of her peers, that was definitely more Serena's look. But, it was her birthday and she felt like her world was coming to an end. She wasn't exactly sure how to cope with such devastation but she figured she might find the answers at the bottom of several drinks.

Hearing the elevator ding in the distance, signaling a new arrival to the party, Blair eagerly watches the doors slide open. She hoped Nate would be on the other side of the large metal doors, but he wasn't. Not this time, just as he wasn't the time before that or the time before that.

She was slowly giving up hope he'd show at all.

Blair didn't understand much about Nate. She didn't understand his thought processes, she didn't understand his humor, and she certainly didn't understand why she loved him.

Sometimes she even wondered if she actually was _in_ love with him, or if she just loved the _idea_ of being in love with someone like Nate.

He came from a wonderful family.

He was sweet, mostly.

And, he was _gorgeous_.

Every girl in this room at one point or another had wanted Nate. Looking around the crowded loft, Blair smirks confidently. But, it's very short-lived as she begins to consider that a percentage of the girls in this room have also potentially _had_ Nate at one point or another. As sweet as he was, it was no secret that he wasn't a saint. She might not be aware of the specifics of every indiscretion, but she knew they happened nonetheless.

Nate had cheated so much that his infidelity began to feel like a third person in their relationship. Forgiving him after he was caught in some cases, or looking the other way, even though she knew what he was doing, in others became a perfectly normal part of what made them, _them_.

She had in some ways become numb to it. She had grown accustomed to the fact he would cheat, she expected it even. His betrayal wasn't even what upset her most anymore. It was the fact that he embarrassed her, constantly. She projected herself so above everyone else, her relationship included. If people found out that not only did Nate cheat on her, but that she ignored it... she would be ruined. No one could respect her if they didn't think she respected herself.

_"Look, there's Chuck. Maybe he knows if Nate's on his way?"_

Hearing Serena, Blair looks over her shoulder to see Chuck exit the elevator and immediately begin to greet people.

In her book, Chuck Bass was as vile as they come. She had only ever put up with him because he was Nate's best friend.

_'Nate's best friend that helps him cheat on you.'_

Chuck makes eye contact with her for only a second but it's enough to have Blair fuming as he gives her a subtle nod. She _truly_ loathed him.

In a way, it was easier for her to blame Chuck for Nate's wrong-doings instead of having to admit Nate did what he did because he wanted to.

Drugs, alcohol, and sex were Chuck's holy trinity and he had corrupted Nate over the years to the point of no return. But, while Chuck might encourage some true wrongdoings he didn't make Nate blow off her birthday party. Nate was making this blatant choice to slight her all on his own.

At the reminder, Blair makes a point to regain her composure and finally answer Serena, "Nate had to go to his grandfather's birthday dinner. I told him to swing by if he could, but no pressure. He always gets a bit worked up when he has to be around Tripp, I didn't want to stress him out more than necessary."

"You're such a good girlfriend, B."

As Serena reaches out to give her hand a gentle squeeze Blair instantly feels somewhat guilty for being so blatantly dishonest. She shouldn't have to lie to her best friend. Of anyone, she should be able to tell her all the truly fucked up details of her relationship. But she couldn't because at her core she still didn't trust Serena.

She also apparently couldn't trust Odette now.

And she had no trust left to give to Nate either.

This left her with no one, and that feeling was suffocating. Despite there being a room full of people, all there to celebrate her, she had truly never felt more completely alone.

"Speaking of being a good girlfriend," Blair quickly scrambles for a quick change of subject, "How was your date night in Brooklyn?"

"It wasn't a date, I was there to support his dad's show!"

"Right, and sneaking away to some dark, gallery, corner was just an added bonus?" Blair rolls her eyes, slightly humored at Serena's attempt to play coy and modest.

Serena doesn't say a word but her giggles are all the confirmation Blair needs, or wants for that matter. After so many years of friendship, she knew all Serena's moves too well.

"Speaking of date nights in Brooklyn, you'll never guess who showed up the other night?"

"Well, I'm not going to guess." Blair waves her hand for Serena to continue before signaling to the bartender for another drink. She was losing interest in this conversation quick and she needed the extra booze if she was expected to talk about Brooklyn some more.

"Get this. Chuck?" Serena had a strange look on her face, the faintest hint of a smile beginning to show. Despite witnessing it for herself, the entire thing still left her rather dumbfounded.

"Okay, why was Chuck at Dan's dad's art gallery?" Blair didn't like the look in Serena's eyes. It was very telling that Serena clearly knew something she didn't and if there's one thing Blair hated more than anything, it was being out of the loop on some good gossip.

"Apparently, Odette invited him." Serena covers her laugh, shaking her head in bewilderment, "And so he came. To Brooklyn. _For her_. Weird, right?" Serena emphasizes each point for full effect.

"Very." Blair keeps a very straight face as she speaks.

Without being too obvious she scans the crowd over in search of the stupid bass-tard in question.

"I think he likes her?" Serena pulls a face, knowing perfectly well how ridiculous she sounded. But, the way Chuck interacted with Odette the other night seemed very different than what she had ever really seen him.

"He does not _like_ her, Serena. He's Chuck, he's trying to nail her." Just as she finishes speaking Blair's eyes land on Chuck, cautiously watching him through narrowed eyes.

"I guess. Just seems out of character for him to be putting in so much effort is all."

"Hm."

Feeling someone's eyes on him Chuck looks up and is instantly met with a cold stare from Blair. Unsure what he's done now to piss her off he shoots her a look of confusion before they both quickly direct their attention back to their friends.

"You know what seems really out of character? _Me_, allowing you to drone on and on about people that bore me on _my_ birthday. Can we go back to focusing on me now?" Lifting her drink to Serena first, Blair then treats the cocktail as if it were a shot and quickly knocks it back.

Chills roll across her body as the liquor burns it's way down her throat, "Whoo! Let's do another!"

* * *

Honestly, Mackenzie wasn't sure what she was walking into.

She did attend a private school, with _rich_, stuck-up, kids too. But none of the stories of her peers seemed to even remotely measure up to the class-A entitled assholes her siblings went to school with. Jenny was still completely absorbed in the glitz and glam of all of it. She hadn't yet figured out that all that glittered was not in fact gold. But, Dan, on the other hand, hadn't stopped bitching about how much all these kids sucked since his first day at St. Judes. His disdain for his classmates ran deeper than what Mackenzie could even really understand, which made it all the more surprising to her that he had fallen so completely into all this proclaimed _'bullshit'_ via his new girlfriend.

She was in no way an expert on the human psyche. But, growing up so close in age to Dan allowed her to feel like somewhat of an expert when it came to understanding him.

He liked to pretend he was so disillusioned with these people and their gilded world, but in reality, he was as hungry for all that is had to offer as Jenny. Mackenzie didn't understand the appeal but she wondered if she lived here is she would be the same way. Would she be desperate to be in with the Upper East Side princesses? Would she lust after some asshole who had been handed everything his whole life and therefore had no appreciation for anything, least of all her? The thought was horrifying. But more so, was the scene that was currently playing out before her.

Dan had always described the Upper East Side as a world within a world, but this wasn't at all what she had been expecting. She felt like she had just been transplanted into a _cliche_ teen movie. And if she had to pick a specific one this moment would be the scene from Mean Girls, when Cady shows up to the Halloween party and is instantly the odd-man-out.

Mackenzie wasn't nearly as insecure as Jenny, but she was still amazed at how quickly she felt her confidence crumble upon exiting the elevator and walking into the party. All the girls in the room looked like they were off the cover of magazines; their hair, their makeup, their clothes, were all perfect. And they either looked at her with disgust or looked through her like she wasn't there. Neither was a great feeling.

_"Who's the cow with Dan?"_

Following Penelope's sharp gaze to the front of the room, Coco's eyes settle on the three Humphreys that had just walked in. They all stand, almost sheepishly, right by the elevator. They never fully looked like they belonged, but they looked especially out of place at this moment.

Coco didn't have the guts to speak up against the older girl, but she didn't agree with Penelope's harsh assessment. Sure, this girl was thicker than most of the girls they knew, but that wasn't saying much considering most were either on a strict diet of dick, cigarettes, and cocaine or they had a serious eating disorder. In some cases, both.

This girl also had a curvier frame than most of the other girls, which is mostly where their sneers of judgment came from. She was the _shiny new toy_, with huge tits and an ass to match and the girls in the room hated the way every boy in the room's attention drifted to her.

Most of the teens had known each other since at least middle school, if not primary. Rarely was anything, or anyone, new and exciting. But this girl, despite the fact she was apparently associated with the Humphreys, was very new and therefore _very_ exciting.

Mackenzie was completely unaware and unmoved by whatever male gazes she was receiving. As someone that had developed at a rather young age, she had grown accustomed to ignoring those types of looks. She couldn't as easily ignore the judgemental stares of most of the girls in the room though.

"Dan, I could have been home, eating Thai Kitchen right now."

Sensing his sister's discomfort Dan nods his head in understanding, "I know, but you're not. You're here and you're going to have a great time."

"Am I?"

"Yes. Now look, there's Serena."

Serena had her back to them, but she was easily recognizable with her messy blonde hair, and long legs only further accentuated by her _barely-there_ short dress.

Following Dan in the direction of the leggy blonde Mack can feel her nerves steadily growing. She didn't want to judge this girl based on looks alone but Serena really didn't look like someone that would be all that kind to someone that looked the way Mack did.

"Jen-" Turning her head to look at her sister she's met with an empty space where Jenny had just been walking, "Jen?"

Out of the corner of her eye she can see Jenny's petite figure retreat into the crowd, towards a group of _superbly_ bitchy-looking girls. Mackenzie shakes her head in dismay, both disappointed and in shock that Jenny had ditched her within not even a full five minutes of arriving.

_"Serena,"_

"Dan!" As the tall blonde twirls around to greet him, she pulls Dan's body close to hers in a tight, intimate, hug. "I was wondering when you'd show." Nudging him, Serena bites softly down on her lower lip before directing her attention to Mackenzie, "You're Mackenzie, right? It's so nice to meet you. Dan has told me so much about you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Mackenzie looked at her brother then at Serena, "Yeah, Dan has told me so much about you too. You're pretty much his favorite point of conversation. I swear, he could have an entire blog dedicated to you if someone was willing to give him the platform."

Serena looked confused and Dan was clearly mortified.

It was meant to be a playful tease at her brother's obsessive talking about Serena, but Mackenzie was obviously more nervous than she realized because the joke didn't land at all.

"That was my attempt at a _joke_..." Feeling her cheeks warming with embarrassment Mackenzie quickly looks down at the ground, twiddling with her ring once more, "I obviously won't be quitting my day job anytime soon though." She focuses on studying each person's shoes, hoping maybe this will calm her down enough that her face won't look like a giant tomato.

"No, it was funny." Serena lies, forcing a small laugh as she quickly grabs hold of the girl next to her, "This is my best friend, Blair. This is her party. Blair, this is Mackenzie. Dan's sister."

"Another Humphrey? Gee, just what I wanted for my birthday." Blair's tone cuts through the air like ice, but her cold demeanor is only made worse by the perfect smile she flashes at them. _So_ insincere. Mackenzie knew instantly that this was the leader of that mean girl posse Jenny was always going on about.

As nervous as she had been, all those feelings quickly disappeared as she was left with only a familiar feeling of protective-anger rising up within her. So, this was the girl that bossed her baby sister around all day long and had, on more than one occasion, made her feel like she was nothing, "_Blair_, was it? Yeah well, I guess we Humphreys are just the gift that keeps on giving."

* * *

Williams's birthday dinner went as well as could be expected.

The primary talking points revolved around politics and wall street, and surprisingly Gloria and William only got into a heated argument once when the discussion of gay marriage came up.

The Vanderbilts were considered blue-blooded democrats, but if anyone paid enough attention it was plain to see that not all of the ideals of the left were in line with William's own. He boasted about giving money to Clinton's campaign, but he also had voted for John McCain _and_ Mitt Romney.

It was safe to assume that William was in fact a semi-closeted republican and only pretended to support the democratic party because New York was a blue state.

This point was further proven by William's own admittance that while he believes _'everyone has the right to love who they love',_ he does not agree that gay marriage should be legal. _'Marriage is between a man and a woman.'_ His tone was so _absolute_. Like all things, he believed his opinion should be the law of the land. At least in regards to influencing his large family.

Overhearing this point of contention, Odette moves to watch her grandfather's reaction, carefully, from across the table. She half expected him to say something, his youngest daughter was a gay woman after all. But, she also wasn't terribly surprised that he said nothing at all. It was disappointing that David wouldn't defend this issue on behalf of her aunt, but Odette also knew to expect that. It was no secret amongst the Rockefeller family that some of Adrienne's lifestyle choices, more specifically who she chose to live her life _with_, were not exactly her grandfather's proudest talking points. It was strange to think that David could support gay rights in all public aspects but not in regards to his own family.

While David made no point to call out William, Gloria, whose son had faced his own struggles with his sexuality and now lived his life as an openly gay man, was understandably disgusted. _Especially_ considering said son was in attendance at this dinner and had to listen to every, ignorant, word. Anderson took it all in stride though and handled the situation with the utmost grace and class, for which he was so well known for, and quickly mediated the situation between the siblings.

Watching the argument settle between Gloria and William, Odette can't help but wonder if this is what she has to look forward to. Was she going to be a grandmother and _still_ fighting with Coco? The thought of it was exhausting.

Nate spent most of the dinner ignoring the mild arguments amongst his family members and avoiding any and all eye contact with his father. If it weren't for Odette he wasn't sure he would have made it through the evening. She had provided him with the perfect distraction from _everything_.

Throughout the five-course meal, Nate and Odette had taken it upon themselves to designate backstories to some of the dinner guests. The more ridiculous the story, the bigger the kick they got out of it.

Nate was never one to blatantly ignore everyone but getting caught up in the moment, making jokes with Odette, truly made it feel like everyone else in the room had disappeared.

Once dinner was over, and as everyone drifted off into the adjacent parlor for drinks, Nate knew it was time for him to do his round of goodbyes. He couldn't avoid his boyfriend duties forever and despite how annoyed he was with Blair, he knew he needed to be there for her birthday.

_"...and that's when I told him-"_ Seeing Nate approach William stands up, offering his hand to his grandson, "Leaving us so soon, Nathanial?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Blair's birthday party is tonight as well and I'm already very late." In truth, Nate had originally been planning to skip out between the second and third courses but he had gotten a bit too caught up in his conversations with Odette and had lost all track of time.

"Blair is his girlfriend." William looks over to the gentlemen surrounding him as he explains, "Very well, thank you for coming by Nate. Maybe we can have dinner soon? I'd really like to discuss your plans for University as well as talk to you about some potential summer internships I have lined up for you."

"Of course, grandfather." Despite feeling like his head might implode at the thought of either of those talking points, Nate offers a charming smile to William and the other men before walking away in the direction of the front of the house.

As he sifts through the different articles of clothing hanging in the expansive closet he can feel someone standing behind him. For a moment he feared it might be his dad cornering him to talk. But, as he takes a deep breath to settle his nerves he recognizes the familiar scent of honey and eucalyptus filling the air around him.

_"You're heading out to the party?"_

Odette's smile doesn't fully reach her eyes and Nate can see a look of hurt flash across her face.

"Yeah."

"I guess you've left me no choice but to go befriend Bronwyn then." She sighs, noticeably overdramatic, before offering a small shrug, "This is probably lame, but could you take my gift for me?"

Nate was completely taken aback by this request.

After everything Blair had done and said to her in the last twenty-four hours Odette still had a gift for her?

"Blair's been dying to get into The Blue Box Cafe at Tiffany's since it opened, but it's always booked so I had Pops pull a few strings and we arranged to have it rented it out for her. She just needs to set up the time." Odette reaches into her own coat pocket, as it remains hanging in the spacious closet, and pulls out an iconic looking Tiffany Blue Box. "Her reservation code is sewn into the box, and the jewelry is just a little bonus. I don't know, it's probably silly."

"No, that's like... a _really_ thoughtful gift, Odette." Nate stared down at the robin's egg blue-toned box for a moment before shaking his head, "She's gonna love it." Blair didn't love surprises because she hated being disappointed. Hence, she sent out a detailed birthday list to everyone months in advance. Nate couldn't even recall the last time he had picked out a gift, from the heart, for Blair. She always told him exactly what she wanted and he got it for her. He never put any additional thought into her gifts because she didn't make him.

All things considered, Odette didn't owe Blair anything. Least of all an extremely thoughtful, and expensive, gift. And yet, she still did it. That was a stark difference between Nate and Odette. Odette loved and still cared for Blair and therefore she wanted to do sweet things for her. Nate didn't and that showed with his own gift. Yes, the Erikson Beamon necklace he was giving her was stunning. But there was no thought or substance behind it. She picked it out, put it on hold, and set up the time for him to go and pick it up.

"Do you wanna walk with me maybe?"

Odette is slightly taken aback by his question, "You're walking to the party?"

"It's only a few blocks away." It wasn't. "With all the traffic we can probably get there faster than the car would."

Staring between Nate and the group of adults in the next room Odette reaches for her coat, "I suppose I could go for some fresh air. Just let me tell Pops."

Nate's grin grows tenfold as she agrees to accompany him, for the walk at least.

Despite looking like nothing more than a pretty face, Nate had his own ways of trying to pull strings and manipulate situations. Maybe he could convince Odette to give her gift to Blair herself and from there Blair would see how thoughtful Odette was and maybe then they could all move forward from this bullshit they had recently found themselves in.

_"Hey, we need to talk son." _

Howard had been trying to get Nate's attention all night, to no avail. He was unable to focus on any of the conversations happening around him, he couldn't even remember what had been for dinner. All he could think about was what Nate had seen, and more importantly, what he could do with that information.

"I don't have anything to say to you, dad." This wasn't Nate's way of being difficult. He really didn't have anything to say because he didn't know where to even begin or what to think of the situation with Howard at all.

As Odette walks back in Nate's direction she can see and feel the tension radiating between the two Archibald men. She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to interrupt them but when Nate sees her he looks grateful for the escape, "Ready?"

"Y-yeah." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear Odette turns to Howard, nodding her head in a sign of respect, "Have a great night, Mr. Archibald."

"Yeah, you kids have fun." Howard shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he gives Odette a tight grin, "Nate, reminder that we're going running in the morning. Don't forget."

Ignoring his father completely Nate moves to hold the front door open for Odette, like the _proper_ gentlemen he is, "After you, _Lady Rockefeller_."

Things might be awkward when they first arrive at the party but hopefully soon enough things between Odette and Blair would be fixed, and Nate could have a slightly less guilty conscious about it all.

It might not be the most well thought out plan, but he also couldn't see how anything could really go wrong.

* * *

Kati's brother's loft was spacious but his one stipulation for letting his little sister's friends use it was that the party was to be confined to the front of the home and the large, wrap-around balcony, only. This was easy enough to manage but the loft was growing increasingly hotter the more people drank and danced amongst each other. Chuck, in desperate need of fresh air and smoke, stepped out onto the balcony and was instantly grateful for how much quieter it was out there. Well, as quiet as having downtown Manhattan as your background noise can be.

But for kids that were born and raised in New York, the sound of bustling streets, taxi horns, and bus brakes were almost sort of comforting in a way. It's what they knew.

Pulling a fresh pack of Parliament Lights out of his jacket pocket, he packs the cigarettes before pulling one out and lighting it.

_"Ah, just the Bass I was looking for."_

Chuck takes a deep inhale, holding the smoke before finally exhaling just as Blair reaches him. He doesn't say anything to her, watching as she leans back against the stone wall of the balcony, clearing his smoke away with her hands.

"Can I bum one?"

"Since when do you smoke?" Chuck's eyes were full of doubt, always seeing through Blair's bullshit. She liked to pretend she was very complex but he never believed that. Blair Waldorf was as try hard as they came but he gives her the cigarette nonetheless. As he lights it he waits and watches to see how she does.

As if the way she held the cigarette between her thumb and index finger didn't immediately give her away, she also sucked her cheeks in and inhaled far too quickly. The coughs that immediately followed told Chuck everything he already knew. Blair Waldorf was _not_ a smoker.

"Surely you didn't come out here just to ask me for a smoke?"

"Guilty." Blair tosses her barely burned cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with her shoe, "I guess, I just wanted to check on you."

"Awe, I appreciate the concern." Chuck doesn't bother trying to hide his sarcasm, "But in what regard, exactly?"

"In regards to Odette." Blair says her name like nothing.

As if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

His boys and even Nate had made the point to always sort of dance around the subject of directly bringing her up, mainly because they knew Chuck didn't like to talk about girls outside of what he did with them in bed. But, leave it to Blair to overlook this completely. She was never one to not go directly for the kill.

Normally he would deny, deny, _deny_. But her tone of voice made it obvious that she knew, at least somewhat, that something had been going on.

"Look, Blair, I know you well enough to know that you don't give a shit about me and would never check in on me out of the _kindness_ of your heart. That's assuming you do in fact have one, of course." Chuck takes another long drag from his cigarette before continuing, "But, what the hell? It's you're birthday, so I'll play along."

Blair stares at Chuck for a moment, the wheels in her head spinning as she contemplates how to go about this. "I admire that you've managed to retain your humor through all this."

"Through all of what?" He was assuming she knew why Odette was upset and avoiding him and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't somewhat desperate for some insight, but he was getting annoyed that Blair wouldn't get to the point.

"Nate and Odette."

Blair's dark eyes settle on Chuck's, watching as her words cause a shift in his demeanor, "You do know they've started hooking up, right?"

"Are you high?" Chuck scoffs, turning away from her and looking over the balcony once more.

"It's true. I just found out a couple of days ago. They've been hooking up, probably still are." Blair lets out a mellow-dramatic sigh as she moves closer to Chuck, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Just thought you should know before you make any more trips to _Brooklyn_ for her."

He didn't understand why Blair was saying this, but he also didn't believe it. "Nate couldn't, wouldn't -"

"Do that?" She cuts him off, finishing his sentence, "Sure he would. Nate knows nothing about loyalty, Chuck. I'm a pretty perfect example of that."

He could feel Blair's seeds of doubt beginning to sprout in his head as his brain raced with questions. "No. _No_." The first 'no' was for her, but the second was an attempt to command his brain to stop _going there, _"Nate might not have any loyalty to you, but I know for a fact he wouldn't do that to me. I know misery loves company Blair, but I'm not buying what you're selling here. You'll have to find someone else to join your pathetic pity party."

Blair remains completely unphased by his words, regardless of how cruel they may be, "Fine, believe what you want. But don't come to me when their true colors are revealed."

"As if I would ever seek comfort in _you,_ Blair." Looking the petite brunette over in disgust Chuck flicks his cigarette off in her direction before moving to head back into the party.

But just as he reaches the door a series of familiar _'ping'_ rings through the party. It starts with just one phone until suddenly fifty are simultaneously signaling everyone of a crucial notification. Turning to look back at Blair he waits to see her pull out her phone, watching as she reads and processes the newest blast. Her previous smugness is completely removed as she stares blankly at the screen.

"What is it? A throwback to your top seventeen most infamous blasts in honor of your big day?" Chuck tilts his head to the side, "No, that can't be it. You're too dull to of had seventeen scandals. So, what is it?"

Blair stomps in his direction with a purpose, shoving her phone against his chest once she reaches him.

"You are such a..." Despite muttering this to himself, he doesn't bother finishing the thought. They both know it was true, but in this instance, there was a much higher, bitchier, power at play than even Blair Waldorf.

Chuck's eyes scan over the blast quickly once, and then slowly again, _and again_ before finally looking up at Blair.

Studying the range of emotions flashing across Chuck's face she can recognize they're very similar to her own feelings. Equal parts devastated and pissed. But, as upset as she was, she also never passed up on the chance to say, "Told you so."

* * *

**ʜᴇʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, **

ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɪs ᴛᴏᴏ ʜᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ sɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴏsᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ.

**sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ:** ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ʀᴏʏᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ

ᴏɴᴇ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ʙᴏʏ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ɪɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ's ᴇᴍʙʀᴀᴄᴇ. ᴏɴʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ? ᴛʜɪs ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ-ɢɪʀʟ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙʟᴀɪʀ ᴡᴀʟᴅᴏʀғ.

**[+ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ]**

ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴇ ᴡʜʏ **ᴏ** ᴡᴀs ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴀʙʟʏ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғғ **ʙ**'s ɢᴜᴇsᴛ ʟɪsᴛ?

**ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ʀᴏʏᴀʟ ᴀғғᴀɪʀ... **

ʟᴏᴏᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴇxɪʟᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ, ᴇxᴇᴄᴜᴛᴇᴅ. ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴏᴜʀ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ ᴏғ (ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ) ʜᴇᴀʀᴛs sᴇᴇs ᴛʜɪs ɪᴛ's sᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ 'ᴏғғ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ sɪᴅᴇ ᴄʜɪᴄᴋ ʜᴇᴀᴅ!'

sᴏʀʀʏ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ʙʟᴀɪʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ᴄʀʏ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ.

**xᴏxᴏ ɢᴏssɪᴘ ɢɪʀʟ**

* * *

_I told you guys that drama was coming, and there's no end in sight._

_Last we saw Nate and Odette they were going for a walk so just how did they end up in such a compromising position? Let's just say with social media things aren't always what they seem but I think we know enough to realize that intentions don't always matter. Especially when other people react on impulse._

_The next chapter will be our first holiday-themed chapter and I'm really excited to introduce you all to more of the Rockefeller clan. They're messy, let me tell ya! Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful but it's also the holiday in GG-universe that drama is always sure to go down. With so many secrets, at least one is bound to be revealed. Gobble Gobble ;)_

_I'll be posting some new content on the stories insta page ( **gilded . ff** ) so please go check it out!_

_Thank you all, once again, for your support._


	10. chapter nine

GUYS,_ this chapter was 20,000+ words without either of the author's notes. ***20,000+ words*.**_

_I have been very excited for this chapter because it's the Thanksgiving chapter (side note: brownie points to whoever can count the number of times the word 'Thanksgiving' appears this chapter. Hint: It's a lot.) and from the beginning of planning this story, I always intended to introduce the full Rockefeller family during the first 'holiday' chapter. This is the ninth chapter of this story (technically tenth since FF doesn't recognize prologues) and so I figured that was enough time for the people reading to be invested enough to care about this character and be okay with learning more about her family. _

_I'll forwarn now and say that this is the first chapter I don't really cover much of the canon characters in. They are included in a few scenes but a huge percentage of this story consists of only the Rockefeller family. **Please don't let that scare you off!**_

_For me, I really enjoyed getting to see the family dynamics on the show in the first(and second, kinda) season and that was always something I felt they could have done more with and so I really wanted to focus on that some. I think so much of who we all are as people stems from our upbringing and our families and the people we are around and what better way to give you all a deeper look into Odette then through her family?_

_This chapter introduces so many new characters and the material was fun and very challenging for me and I hope that everything I wanted this chapter to be does deliver and you all walk away from this update understanding certain characters much better. _

_Thank you to everyone that has followed this story this far, I appreciate it more than you can possibly know. I love this character so much and I'm excited to continue to tell her story. I feel very fortunate that I have each of you that are reading this along for the ride and I hope you all are continuing to stay safe during all this craziness. _

_**And thank you to my wonderful friend (you should all know this was coming) greyspaces**, I truly don't believe I would still be here writing if it wasn't for your kind words and motivation pushing me along. I feel so incredibly lucky to not only have a friend on here that I can overanalyze *everything* with but to also have a friend outside of this FF world that has really been such a positive light for me on dark days. Love ya, S. And this chapter is totally dedicated to you. (I'm sorry if it sucks and you hate it since I just dedicated it to you lol)_

* * *

**WARNING:**

**VULGAR LANGUAGE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, TEENAGE ALCOHOL USE, DRUG USE**

**_WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS._**

* * *

All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any and all mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true family.

* * *

_"On the Upper East Side a last name means everything."_

* * *

For as long as Cortney could remember, the world revolved around her sister.

Everything she was or anything she did, Odette had probably done it first.

Even her name had been all but taken from her because _stupid_ Odette wasn't able to say _'Cortney'_ as a toddler and instead coined her _'Coco',_ then and forevermore altering this very key element of her entire identity.

In retrospect, it was really no wonder she had so much trouble establishing her own identity. This is a plight for all teenagers really, but she felt the struggle on an extra level.

Odette and Cortney had been born almost exactly ten and a half months apart and therefore her entire life had been a series of achievements and experiences that her sister had already made or been through.

It had never bothered Cort much until they were both at Constance. Sharing the same group of friends and interacting with the same peers had really put all of her insecurities on full display. Despite trying desperately to be her own person almost everyone grouped her automatically in with Odette from day one.

There wasn't a person on the Upper East Side that wouldn't be able to tell the two girls were related. Cortney's hair was more brunette than blonde, but she had the same exact shade of blue eyes, and the same nose and the same naturally pouted lips. But, Odette had been born _first_ and had all those characteristics _first_ and therefore they belonged to her and further perpetuated the idea that Cortney was merely an extension of her sister.

It was always, _'You look just like your sister'_ and never, _'your sister looks just like you'_.

The curse of looking so similar was that Cortney was always comparing herself to Odette. This wasn't as big of an issue when the two girls had the same body type; thin, athletic, flat in every way imaginable, really. But, over the previous year, Odette had started to fill out and had gone up three full cup sizes practically overnight. Coco was not nearly as fortunate and was still stuck with the body of, _in her own mind_, a twelve-year-old boy. So now she was not only seen as a doppelganger to Odette but she was also the _less hot_ version.

Considering she was so desperate to establish an identity so separate from her sister it would seem odd that she would be so drawn to Kati and Iz, who shared the same closet and some might even say a brain as well, but Kati and Iz recognized Cortney as her own person, completely separate from her sister. Which she greatly appreciated.

When she first started coming around the group, Blair and the other girls had taken to calling her _'mini-dette'_, which she loathed, _obviously_. Kati, however, had made it a point to always call her by her actual name, which in turn made Iz and the other girls follow, and from there the stupid nickname disappeared and a tight bond was formed.

It was difficult to explain why, but Coco really admired Kati.

And Iz, sometimes.

She really wanted them to like her but she didn't know exactly who the real _her_ was. So, she would lie and present herself as who she thought they wanted her to be. They liked to party so she liked to party. They liked to flirt and mess around with guys so she liked to do that too.

Except... she didn't.

Or, well, hadn't.

But, they thought she did because she told them so and they had no reason not to believe her because she wasn't a liar.

Except... she was.

She did _not_ hook up with Chuck Bass.

She _had_ tried but she had also been rejected. But, of course, that wasn't a story Kati and Iz could relate too. They both had their own experiences with Chuck that they had said, on more than one occasion, had bonded them _'for life'_. Coco wanted in on something like that so she lied.

She thought it would bring them closer to her, and it had, but it was a shitty foundation on which to build their friendship, and anytime it was brought up she felt guilty. At the time it felt like a _'two birds, one stone'_ situation. She could strengthen her friendship with Kati and Iz _and_ gain an upper hand on Odette, for once. All of it would be disingenuine, but it would still do the trick. However, as more time had passed she felt worse about the lie of it all.

Not to mention how mortified she felt every time she had to see Chuck after he had completely shut her down.

Not that she really wanted to sleep with him anyway. His only appeal to her was that, based on his track record, he seemed like a sure thing.

Chuck Bass was plain and simply put, a fuckboy.

Scratch that. He was _the_ fuckboy.

The number of girls he had slept with just from Constance alone was disturbing enough without trying to factor in all the many other _conquests_ there were across Manhattan and so forth.

For whatever reason, despite his infamous fuckboy reputation, some girls still really seemed drawn to him. Iz was one example, Odette was another. Kati, for all intents and purposes, claims she never had feelings for him, but she did still sleep with him.

Chuck had a sexual prowess about him that attracted all types of girls. And guys.

But, Coco was not one of those people. _Not really_.

She knew how to turn it on though and so she did.

She had tried so hard to get Chuck to take a liking to her that she had almost somewhat started to convince herself that she liked him in return. Of course, once she felt his body under hers and she started to kiss him, she felt nothing and was instantly reminded of how she had felt in the beginning of all this. She most _definitely_ did not understand the appeal.

However, regardless of the fact that she had realized she didn't want him, she still didn't like being rejected. It was embarrassing, now, to think about how far she had put herself out there only for him to completely shoot her down.

He was Chuck Bass, he was notorious for having no standards and would fuck just about anyone. Yet, he wanted nothing to do with her?

_What the fuck was up with that anyway?_

_"Chuck! Hey, Chuck, come over here."_

Coco was caught up in a deep conversation with Kati, discussing their plans for the rest of the night. Iz had been talking to St. Judes senior Bobby Hewit and he had invited her, Kati, and Coco to an after-party at his parent's townhouse once Blair's party started to lose steam. Coco was always excited at the prospect of more time with the girls so she was excited for this. But once she heard Penelope calling Chuck over to where their group was congregating her attention was quickly pulled away from Kati as she watched Chuck walking towards them.

She hadn't seen him, this up-close, since the other night in his suite. After he had shoved her off of him Coco had gotten redressed in a hurry and was out the door before he could say much of anything. The entire thing was completely embarrassing and now that she had lied about it to Kati and Iz she hoped they wouldn't say anything in front of him that would make things worse.

Once Chuck reached their group Penelope draped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in a little closer, "Chuck, you're so bad!"

Chuck didn't particularly like this group of girls but since the Gossip Girl blast about Nate and Odette had come out he had been looking for any distraction he could to avoid drunk, or high, rage texting them both, "Well, we already knew that. But what are we referring to?"

"_We_ are referring to you popping Coco's cherry!" Bursting into a fit of giggles Penelope pulls away from Chuck, hitting his chest gently.

Coco can almost feel her heart stop as the words leave Penelope's mouth. The word _'cherry'_ was replaying in her head over and _over_ again, and Penelope's laughter felt like it was vibrating off her brain.

_'We won't tell.'_

Her eyes dart between Kati and Iz, completely blindsided and confused by this betrayal. They had assured her they wouldn't tell anyone.

Chuck scoffs at Penelope's statement, figuring she was poking fun at Coco for her behavior from the other night, but as he tries to make eye contact with the youngest Rockefeller sister he can clearly see she's avoiding meeting his gaze. "Oh yeah... How was it for you, Cort?"

The color was draining from Cortney's already fair-skinned face as she felt all eyes on her. They were all waiting for an answer that she didn't have. They didn't hook up but the lie had already gone this far and she couldn't deny it now. Kati and Iz would never forgive her for lying to them about something as sacred as losing her virginity. Girlfriends didn't lie about that. Taking a deep breath to steady her growing nerves Coco finally looks up and makes full eye contact with Chuck, "It was okay."

"Ooh, burn." Hazel half giggles into her glass as she finishes off the remainder of her drink.

"Well, I'm glad it was okay for you. I don't remember it at all." Chuck rubs his chin for a moment as if he was seriously trying to recall this imaginary encounter, "Are you the one that cried immediately after?"

Feeling Coco's hand begin to involuntarily shake against her own leg, Kati reaches over and holds it comfortingly, "Don't be a dick, Chuck."

"I'm not."

He was. But he also didn't care at this moment. Blair had really gotten into his head about the whole Nate and Odette thing and now to find out Coco was going around lying about their encounter, saying it was sexual, it all suddenly made so much sense why Odette had been avoiding him like the plague. She thought he had hooked up with her sister... and she was so mad at him that she wanted to hurt him back by getting with his best friend. He didn't know this for certain but it seemed like a high possibility. In a world where it was always _'an eye for an eye'_, this scenario didn't seem far fetched. And even if it did, according to that saying they all went blind anyway so it's not like he could really tell.

At the end of it all, this all stemmed from a lie told by Coco.

He didn't care that she was younger than them all, and he didn't care that she was Odette's little sister and therefore he should show her some compassion. At this moment he hated her and worse, he didn't respect her at all. If she wanted to parade herself around like she was one of his whores than he would treat her like one, "Ah, I remember now. The sex with you was _so_ mediocre that I had to spit on your back so you would think I had finished and we could stop. Then, once you left, I had to invite someone else over to finish me off."

He was being an asshole, and vulgar, but he didn't care anymore.

Cortney's eyes drop to the floor as she processes the sting of Chuck's words. Hearing as some of the girls tried to muffle their snickers of bemusement she knows she needs to get out of this situation before she's humiliated further, "I need to pee."

As Coco stands up she abruptly pulls her hand out of Kati's hold and hurries off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

Watching her petite figure retreat down the hallway Kati stands up to follow Cort but before she does she turns to stare down Chuck, "Every time I start to think you aren't the asshole I think you are, you prove me wrong." Pushing past him and the girls, Kati moves through the party and down the hallway to the bathroom. She stands in front of the door for a moment, debating what she should even say, before she knocks softly and identifies herself, "Coco, open up. It's Kati."

A few beats of silence pass before Cort cracks the door just enough for Kati to get in.

Once she squeezes her way through, Kati's eyes settle on the sight of Cortney, mascara running down her cheeks as she sits on the toilet seat, sobbing.

"Hey... Cort, don't cry. He's an asshole, I've been saying that." Kati wraps her arms around Coco, pulling her up into a tight hug before rubbing gentle circles on her back in an effort to calm her down, "I'm sorry. I know you thought he would be different with you. It's not you, it's him."

While all of her sentiments were sweet, none of them applied because they were all centered around Coco's lie. She wasn't crying because Chuck screwed her and hurt her feelings, she was crying because he didn't screw her when she tried and then proceeded to embarrass her in front of all her friends too. He made her sound like the worst lay of his life and Penelope and the other girls would probably never let her live it down. It had also dawned on her that if Kati and Iz told Penelope and Hazel about her hook up with Chuck it was likely they told more people and now there was no telling how many thought she was Chuck's most recent conquest, and if she didn't want that to be her moniker she would have to tell them the truth, which was really worse than the lie.

"You promised you wouldn't tell." Sniffling as she pulls away, Cortney looks at Kati with pure devastation in her eyes.

"Iz has such a big effing mouth, I'm sorry." Kati's face drops into a deeper frown, "Hey," cupping Coco's face in her hands she starts to rub the running mascara away with her fingers, "Please don't cry. It was your first time, everyone sucks their first time. If Penelope or Hazel starts to give you a hard time I'll remind them of their own epic fails, okay? You have nothing to be embarrassed about Cort. Chuck _so_ didn't deserve that from you. You're so pretty and funny, and smart. He's gross, and gross, and grosser."

Watching her through her tears, Coco can see Kati start to go cross-eyed every now and then as she speaks. This was her tell-tale sign that her drunk alter ego, _'Kate' _was coming out to play. Kate, like most drunk alter-egos, was very different from Kati. Kate didn't take herself too seriously, she was typically much more carefree, and always much more loving towards her friends.

"You're drunk." Coco laughs, sniffling once more as she tries to stop tearing up. "I am too, drunk and crying in the bathroom." She wasn't that drunk though. But hopefully, if Kati thought she was that would keep her from having to further explain why she was so upset right now.

"Don't cry over Chuck Bass, he's not worth it. Trust me." Kati rolls her eyes at her own memories of crying in this very same bathroom over the same stupid Bass, "At least no one filmed you." She offers, poking some fun at her own expense as she moves around the small bathroom in search of something that she could use to help Cort clean her face.

Cortney watches, a small smile replacing the pout she previously had, as Kati digs through a bathroom cabinet with an extremely determined look in her eye. It was almost as if she was willing whatever it was she was looking for to manifest itself before her.

"You didn't have to come after me."

"Of course I did."

She was a good friend.

Coco wasn't a good friend and she didn't deserve her.

She wondered what Kati would think of her if she knew she lied about all this?

She'd hate her probably and the thought of that terrified Cortney. Kati had only been in her life for a relatively short amount of time but she couldn't imagine life without her anymore.

She was her best friend and she loved and cared about her so much.

"Of course my brother doesn't have makeup wipes but we can run warm water and-"

Turning away from the bathroom cabinet, Kati's sentence is cut off as Cortney's lips press against her own.

She's frozen still for a moment, completely caught off guard by this sudden gesture. But before her brain can fully process what's happening her lips start performing on their own accord. Instead of focusing on why this was happening, all she could think about was how soft Cortney's lips were as they worked alongside her own, feverishly.

Coco wasn't sure what had made her decide to kiss Kati, but she was glad she did. In this moment, feeling their bodies melt against one another as they each pulled the other close, nothing had ever felt so _right. _

She felt a tingle from deep within her body once Kati's fingers became tangled in her hair and as she pulled back to breathlessly announce, "I'm so drunk right now..." Kati didn't let go of her intimate hold on Coco.

"Me too..." Cort nods gently in agreement before they both lean into one another again, this time with open mouths. Despite her agreement, Coco knows she's not _that_ drunk.

Not drunk like Kati at least.

But at this point what was another lie on top of the others?

She didn't want to be deceitful but as she feels Kati's tongue begin to fight her own for dominance she loses all sense of right and wrong or even of time, place, and motive.

All she can think about as she gives complete control over to Kati is how she never wants this kiss to end.

* * *

_"Looks like another group just left."_

Looking over her shoulder Odette watched as a group of clearly drunk teenagers exited the building across the street from them. "How many is that now?"

"Two..no, three groups of at least ten each time." Nate tilts his head from one side to the other as he thinks, "Now is probably as good a time as any."

"I don't know. Maybe we should wait just a little longer?" Odette chewed lightly on her thumbnail.

She was incredibly nervous. She had already been a bit apprehensive about showing up, uninvited and unannounced to Blair's party but she felt even more unsure since Gossip Girl blasted her and Nate's picture out to everyone.

It wasn't what it looked like.

That's how it usually goes.

But, in this case, it was true.

Typically, a hug between friends would seem like nothing but, considering all the recent drama and accusations thrown both Odette and Nate's way, this particular embrace looked extra suspicious. At least in Blair's eyes it did and at the end of the day, her opinion was all that really mattered.

"Let's just go." '_Get this over with.'_

This was far from Nate's first time being in hot water with Blair so he was used to this tired game. He'd screw up, she'd throw a fit, he'd apologize, she'd begrudgingly forgive him and they'd quickly move on to the next issue.

Due to his general lack of faithfulness, it was to be assumed that Nate didn't care for Blair or her feeling. But, in reality, he didn't actually like to hurt or upset Blair. He didn't like to hurt or upset anyone, really. But, considering the two of them had been faced with this similar situation _several times_ before he had also become somewhat desensitized to the entire process.

Nothing he did was ever bad enough to make her leave him, or in some cases let him leave her _apparently_, so what was the point in worrying? At the end of the day, a fight was a fight and their fights were so common that it almost seemed to be the main way they communicated; fighting was _their_ love language.

It would suck, but then it would be over.

"I just can't believe this whole thing has gone this far. I mean, you and me? That would never happen!" As she talks Odette begins to get noticeably more worked up and agitated as she begins to frantically talk with her hands.

"Ouch..." Nate laughs to himself, "I mean, never seems..." '_So definite?'_

Nate doesn't finish this thought, as unaware as he seemed at times even he knew they had bigger issues at hand. "Look, the longer we take to go talk to her the more time she has to sit and stew, and trust me, no one wants to try and handle a stewed Blair Waldorf." Nate turns to walk across the street but quickly notes that Odette isn't following him, "Odette," he lets out a long sigh, getting slightly annoyed now, "We didn't do anything wrong. The longer we stay away the more guilty we make ourselves look. So, I need you to take a deep breath, hold your head up, and let's go handle this once and for all."

Odette is easily taken aback by Nate's choice to suddenly take charge of the situation at hand. He usually came across so passive and seemed to always be in the position of sitting shotgun to his life and letting everyone else make the decisions, so seeing him take the wheel now was surprising and also made her kind of proud. "Well, when you're right, you're very right." Odette throws her hands up in slight surrender as she follows him across the street.

The two of them walked through the lobby and rode up the elevator in complete silence. Both bracing themselves for whatever scene they'd be walking into.

Blair was going to no doubt be livid, but hopefully, they could convince her to hear them out.

Or, she would refuse to and maybe she'd throw a drink in their face.

At this thought, Odette subconsciously smoothes down her bodycon dress. As she imagined expensive champagne rolling down and soaking into the silk of her dress she started to seriously regret wearing her new Dolce tonight. Once the subtle chime of the elevator fills the confined space around them she's pulled from her thoughts. As the doors begin to slide open she forces a small, but confident, smile across her face. Her stomach was doing flips but to anyone watching she looked like the epitome of cool and collected.

Everywhere she looked she was met with judging stares and hushed whispers. Everything she had expected to be walking into was playing out before her eyes, but instead of paying them any mind she quickly begins to scan the crowd for Blair.

Despite them watching several people leave before they decided to come up, the apartment was still packed and the party clearly wasn't dying down anytime soon.

_"There's Serena."_

Nate taps Odette on the shoulder to get her attention before gesturing across the room.

Go figure that in a dark room filled with so many people Serena was the first person Nate laid eyes on.

This could work in their favor though, Serena would not only know where Blair was but she also could warn them as to what Blair's current temperament was.

As the pair moved in closer however it was clear that Serena's mind was elsewhere. The blonde was leaning against the archway of the hall, brows furrowed as she chewed feverishly on her lower lip.

"Serena?" Nothing. "Uh, Serena." Odette tries to get her attention again, this time waving her hands slightly in front of her face. As silly as it might have looked it did the trick because Serena was instantly completely focused on Odette and Nate, "Oh my god! Sorry, I..." She didn't finish the thought as she moved in to hug them both, "We weren't expecting you."

"Where's Blair?" Nate looks away from Serena back to the packed crowd in the main room.

"Well," she runs her fingers through her long blonde hair, "After the blast she _sort of_ locked herself in Kati's brother's room."

Watching as Serena's eyes subconsciously drift down the hall Nate's gaze follows hers before looking at Odette, "Sort of?"

This entire interaction felt..._weird_. Odette couldn't quite put her finger on it but something was very off with Serena, "Are you okay, S?"

"I..." Serena looks between the both of them before taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry guys, my mind is all over the place. I met Dan's sister and I don't think she liked me very much and then they all bailed on the party pretty quickly so I'm just worried about it. Dan cares about his family so much and what if he dumps me over her not being a fan?"

Odette wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Not that she would ever want to downplay a friend's personal problems but she had thought Serena's weird behavior was because of her current issue with Blair and realizing it wasn't put her much more at ease. "Sorry to hear that S, but I'm sure you're just being hard on yourself." Reaching out she rubs the statuesque blonde's shoulder before attempting to move around her and down the hall, "I'm going to try to get Blair to let us in so we can talk."

Nate nods, moving to follow Odette but is quickly stopped in his tracks.

Serena stretches her arm out so that she is leaning against the opposite wall, her upper body now blocking their path. At this sudden move, Odette takes a small step backward, in turn making Nate move back as well. From there, the three of them are left standing in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Nate clears his throat, "Uh, can we not talk to Blair?"

"I don't think right now is a good time. Like I said, she's _really_ upset."

Odette stares at Serena through narrowed eyes, "_Right_, that's why we want to talk to her. You know, clear all this nonsense up?"

"I get it. I just think it's probably best to wait for another time. Let her calm down, sober up a bit, you know?" Serena was clearly unwavering on this, "You're not going to get anywhere with her if you try this tonight, trust me."

Odette looked Serena up and down, briefly considering charging through her. But, the reality of the situation was that Serena was almost six feet tall, and in her highest heels Odette was still several inches shorter than that. Plain and simply put, there was no way Odette was getting through her.

"Alright." She knew when to accept defeat and concede, and this was clearly one of those moments. Besides, Serena knew Blair best and if she didn't want them to see her tonight that was obviously for a good reason. "Can you at least tell her that we stopped by and want to talk?"

The sadness behind Odette's wide blue eyes tugged at Serena's heartstrings, "Of course I will. We'll figure this is all out." _Just not tonight..._

Nate shook his head in dismay. This wasn't how he had expected this interaction to turn out and he was feeling slightly annoyed that things had to carry on unresolved. Briefly looking over the party once again he looks for his group of friends, "Did Chuck come?" If he was still going to have to deal with an angry Blair at a later date he should at least be able to enjoy the rest of the night getting drunk with his boys.

Serena shrugs, "Yeah, but I think he left after the gossip bomb."

"So he's pissed too?"

"Who cares what he thinks." Odette couldn't fight the scowl that worked it's way across her usually gentle features, "He has no room to judge anyone. Especially when _our_ thing isn't even real."

"I don't know, I don't really think Chuck would believe that. He knows me too well." Nate might not have seemed like the most loyal person due to his track record with Blair but his friendship with Chuck was a completely separate thing. They were more than just best friends, they were brothers. "Let's not worry about Chuck or Blair tonight, all that can be fixed. Let's enjoy the party, let me get you both a drink."

Hearing his offer, Serena noticeably relaxes and moves she away from where she's standing to follow Nate to the bar, "The bartender makes breakfast shots Natey, your favorite."

"Perfect, we'll start with that!" Now sporting a wide grin Nate turns back to his companion for the night, "Dette?"

As much fun as getting drunk with her friends sounded she knew she wouldn't be able to fully enjoy herself knowing she had made Blair so upset. It was her birthday and she wasn't even out here enjoying it because she was so hurt. Regardless if her feelings were based on a valid truth or not, Odette still couldn't help feeling like an extremely shitty friend. "You go ahead. I'm pretty full from dinner and kind of tired. I'm gonna head home."

"You sure?" Nate's smile dropped. He hadn't been expecting her to bail on him, after the night they had they both deserved a little fun.

"Yeah, you have fun though. I'll call you tomorrow and we can work out a new plan of action." Odette offers a small final smile before turning her back on him and moving back across the party to the elevator.

* * *

It was well past three in the morning and Odette still hadn't fallen asleep.

She had tried everything from meditation to popping melatonin and yet nothing seemed to be doing the trick. So instead she scrolled through her various social media accounts looking at all the pictures and videos her friends had posted from Blair's party.

It seemed everyone had a good night.

Even Nate had posted a picture of himself, all smiles as he posed on the balcony with some of his friends. Odette quickly double-tapped the image before continuing her scroll.

In this distance, the sound of heels coming up the stairs pulls her attention away from her feed. Looking down at the time displayed on her phone she scoffs in disbelief at how late Coco was getting home. Some had a better time than others _apparently_...

The sound of Coco's heels grew louder and louder the further down the hall she moved but once she reached Odette's door the hallway fell completely silent again.

Dottie, who had just been sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed, perched her head up, watching the bedroom door intently. Suddenly, as a faint knock is heard, Dottie springs from the bed and prances to the door, wagging her tail eagerly.

Not waiting for a response to be granted entry, Coco twists the doorknob and walks into the familiar room of her older sister. She's immediately greeted by Dottie, who licks at her exposed legs. Kneeling down slightly, Coco pets the top of the pups spotted head.

"Um, excuse you? We were sleeping!" Odette rubs at her eyes, acting as if she had just woken up. "Ugh, Cortney, you reek of alcohol and weed."

Despite Odette's obvious displeasure at seeing her Coco continues across the room, Dottie right at her side. Once she reaches her sister's circular bed she kicks off her heels and pulls the pink duvet back before climbing in next to her.

"Jesus, how drunk are you?!" Odette promptly sits up, crossing her arms firmly across her chest. "Get out of my bed before I hit you." It wasn't a threat, it was an absolute promise. Minor physical altercations here and there were fairly normal, and more so expected, between the two sisters.

Coco sniffles as she turns on her side to look up at Odette, "I know you hate me but I really need my big sister right now." Her lips tremble as she fights back tears to get the words out, but once she does they fall freely.

Watching as tears roll down her sister's face Odette's features immediately soften, "What's wrong?" She immediately reaches out and begins to smooth Cortney's dark hair out of her face, "Cort, what happened?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now, but I also don't want to be alone. Can I please sleep in here tonight?"

Watching Cortney laying in her bed, on the verge of sobbing, Odette is instantly transported back to various times throughout their childhood when they found themselves in almost this exact situation.

Since they were little Odette had been acting as a protector to Coco. She had felt that was her role as the older sister.

She had also always been the one to comfort Coco from anything that caused her distress. This ranged from a scratched knee, to hurt feelings, to even dispelling any fears she had when she got her period for the first time. She felt it was her responsibility since their parents, always caught up in their own turmoils, clearly weren't going to be a source of comfort for either daughter in any situation.

Through all the highs and lows of their lives, the only thing they could ever truly count on was each other. This loyalty and comfort amongst each other had started to fade over the last year and it had been a long time since Odette had seen Cortney look like the little sister she once knew. But suddenly, just like that, she was reminded.

At this moment, none of the drama with Chuck mattered. If Cort had slept with him, or hadn't, it was irrelevant. At the end of it all, she was her sister... her _little_ sister and she was hurting. Odette didn't know why and so she didn't know how to help her fully but they were sisters and she had been looking after and comforting Coco her whole life, so that is one thing she knew how to do better than almost anything else.

Wrapping her arms around Cortney's petite frame she pulls her in for a tight hug before kissing the side of her head, "It's going to be okay." She didn't know what happened so she didn't know if that was necessarily true but she knew one thing for certain, "I'm here for you and no matter what, I love you always, Cort."

* * *

_Thanksgiving_

* * *

_"Happy Thanksgiving!" _

As Odette strolls into the Waldorf's large kitchen she notices Blair and Serena deep in their own conversation but once they notice her arrival they both turn to greet her with bright smiles, "Happy Thanksgiving!" They both cheer in almost perfect unison.

"I'm heading over to my grandfathers but I wanted to bring you guys a little something." Odette holds out a porcelain dish to Blair, "It's my signature cherry pie."

"I'm more of a pumpkin pie girl myself but thank you." Taking the dish from Odette she sits it on the counter along with the many other deserts for the day, "You make it from scratch?"

"Like I would bring a frozen pie from Citarella market to the house of Waldorf? That's blasphemous!" Odette pulls Blair in for a quick hug, "Has your dad landed yet, I'm dying to meet him!"

As close at the two girls had become over the past couple of years there were moments like this that reminded them both of what a short amount of time they had actually known each other. Odette and Blair had only become close after Serena went away to boarding school, around the same time that Harold Waldorf had up and left his family for another man. Blair had still always spoken incredibly highly of her father but Odette had not had the chance to meet him up until this point.

"Last we talked he said his flight wouldn't be getting in till later this afternoon." Blair pouted briefly. Of course, she wished her father was here already but at the end of the day she didn't care what time he arrived, she was just excited to be reunited with him again, "You sure you have to go to your grandfathers? Serena and Nate and their families will all be here and you know you and Coco are welcome to join, Anika too!" Thanksgiving was Blair's favorite holiday, and it was the one day out of the year that she was her most thoughtful and sweet-self. Typically, she wouldn't want Odette's drunk Russian mother anywhere near one of her Eleanor's dinner parties, but this holiday brought out the best in her. After all, this holiday was all about family.

The thought of Anika and Anne Archibald passing cranberry sauce to each other at a dinner table made Odette want to cringe. A Waldorf holiday dinner was no place for her mother. But, the offer was just another reminder that she was leaving her mother completely alone on a holiday that should be spent with family. "That's sweet of you to offer Blair but I definitely have to go to Pops. It's pretty much the only holiday he can get all my siblings together."

"I always forget you have more siblings," Serena comments offhandedly as she skims through a Bobby Flay cookbook.

"I think you like to forget." Blair looks at Serena and laughs, "We do remember that S totally boinged your brother, right?"

"Ugh!" Odette covers her ears as she simulates gagging, "Blair, that's so gross. And who says _'boinged'_?"

Serena buries her head in her hands in shame, "Can we not?" Peering up at Odette, Serena attempts to justify it, "In my defense, it was before you and I were friends... if that counts for anything?"

"Yeah, and to be fair Serena has slept with a lot of guys so statistically speaking at least one of your brothers was bound to be on that list."

Serena reached across the kitchen island to grad a yeast roll. After tearing off a small piece she tossed it at Blair and giggled as it bounced off her chestnut curls.

"Can we stop talking about my brothers?" Odette shakes her head in disgust but can't help laughing at the pure absurdity of it all, "On that note, I should get going."

Picking up a poppyseed roll, Blair tears off a much bigger piece and throws it back at Serena in retaliation, "I'll walk with you!" Turning on the heel of her Mary Janes, Blair follows Odette through the foyer to the elevator. "Thank you for bringing the pie."

"Of course," after pressing the down button she turns to face Blair, "I'm really glad we worked things out, B."

_'Odette had shown up, still unannounced, the afternoon following Blair's party. Despite originally planning to come with Nate she had talked with him and they decided it was best for them to each approach Blair alone. __Their issues were completely separate from Nate and Blair's and they didn't need to be grouped together. _

_She understood her lack of trust in Nate but she didn't understand how Blair could assume the worst in her so easily. _

_Once she reached the Waldorfs floor in their building she walked through the expansive penthouse trying her hardest to remain confident. If she showed even a small bit of uncertainty Blair was going to eat her alive. As she rounds the corner into the living room she sees Blair unwrapping her many gifts from the night before and holding them up for Dorota to then jot down in a notebook. "Kimberly Newman, Coach sunglasses... wow, way to be a big spender Kimmy!" The sarcasm in Blair's tone was obvious. "Next is..." _

_"I think mine is next?" _

_This was as good a time to speak up as any. _

_Dorota watches with wide eyes as Odette moves towards them. Blair, on the other hand, remains completely unmoved; she stares her down as she moves to sit next to Dorota. _

_"I'll take over from here, Dorota." Odette offers a small smile before taking the notebook and pen from her. Dorota remains a tight grip on the pen, but only for a moment before she relinquishes the job off to the teenager. But not without warning, "Careful Ms. Odette, Ms. Blair like big bull today." She scans her up and down, "And you've got the red bottoms on." _

_Heeding her warning Odette uncrosses her legs and firmly plants her Louboutin heels on the ground, effectively hiding the red sole of the shoe before giving Dorota a small wink. Catching this, Dorota attempts to wink back - but doesn't quite get it and then slowly backs out of the room to find a place to eavesdrop on their conversation. _

_Odette begins, "Blair, let me start by saying your feelings are valid. I might not agree with you jumping to conclusions, but I understand why you did. You've been put through a lot with Nate and I know that makes it hard for you to trust him. And, Serena really burned you so I can sympathize with your lack of trust in people you consider your friends. But you have to believe me, I would never do that to you." As hard as it was to remain eye contact with someone throwing daggers at you, Odette was determined to look her in the eyes as she spoke. Blair needed to see the sincerity behind her words. "I meant what I said the night you confronted me, I liked Chuck. That's all really messed up right now but my point then and my point now is that I've never been interested in Nate, in that way. He's my friend, that's it. And while my situation with Chuck is nothing in comparison to your relationship with Nate I can relate to your feeling of awful betrayal." She briefly closes her eyes in an attempt to regain her composure as she feels tears start to swell, "It's a really awful feeling and I would never want to make someone feel that way. Especially my best friend. I care about our friendship so much Blair, and I need you to forgive me." _

_"What was the deal with the picture? You looked a bit too friendly to me." Blair is, surprisingly, the first to break eye contact as she looks down at the section of carpet beneath her feet. _

_"You of all people should understand that those pictures aren't always what they look like." _

_"Okay, then explain it to me." _

_Odette hesitates for a moment, trying to find the best way to explain it. But at this point, honesty was the only thing that might save her, "I've been really upset about something that happened with Chuck," and my sister, "And I confided in Nate and when I got emotional he was just trying to comfort me." _

_"And do you think it's appropriate to find comfort in someone else's boyfriend?" _

_She shrinks back at the harshness of Blair's tone. When she put it like that, it sounded so 'dirty'. "He's been a friend of mine for years so I didn't think much of it." Blair rolls her eyes and opens her mouth, probably in an attempt to dismiss her but before she can speak Odette continues, "But, that's my bad for not considering the implications. Nate's my friend, but he's your boyfriend and you're my best friend so if you didn't like that, which clearly you didn't, I promise I won't do it again." _

_Impressed by her answer Blair studies Odette for a moment before sighing, "Alright." _

_"Alright?"_

_"Yeah." She had already talked and made up with Nate and had been planning to forgive Odette too. But, she thoroughly relished in hearing her work for it a bit, "Consider all forgiven." Blair shrugs before smirking to the blonde. _

_"Thank you!" Odette all but jumped out of her seat to hug Blair but after a moment she pulled back, "Wait, so can I ask why you assumed I hooked up with Nate in the first place?"_

_"Right, so here's what happened-"'_

Reaching out to give Odette's arm a small squeeze Blair nods in agreement, "Me too." As the elevator doors open the two girls hug, both lingering for a moment, "Have a great time with your family."

"You too, enjoy the time with your dad!" Odette pulls back, giving Blair one last squeeze before entering the elevator.

The two girls wave to one another before the doors close but once they do and the elevator begins to descend Odette can't help but feel like something is still slightly off with them. Maybe that was just part of the process. After all, things could be forgiven but not always forgotten.

Once the doors close Blair's smile completely disappears. Feeling the presence of someone standing behind her Blair looks over her shoulder and stares blankly at Serena.

"Okay B, we need to finish our talk now."

* * *

The drive from the Upper East Side to the family home in Pocantico Hills was only half an hour on a good day. But Thanksgiving was not a good day, at least not in regards to traveling. Traffic was proving to be more of a bitch than usual, unfortunately, and Coco and Odette had been stuck in the back of their families Towncar for what legitimately felt like forever.

Coco was rambling on about a new series she had recently become invested in but Odette was only half listening. Things between the sisters were sort of strange. They were kind of just moving along as if nothing had happened. Neither acknowledging the major elephant in the room and now there were two because Cort still hadn't confided in Odette what had upset her so much the other night. It had been eleven days since Blair's party and Coco still was refusing to sleep in her own bed, alone. She also wasn't acting much like herself. Or at least not the _her_ she had been acting like recently.

She wasn't at Kati and Iz's every day, or really ever.

She wasn't going out with the girls every night like before.

They were on holiday and she had stayed home with Odette the entirety of the break so far.

At night, once Cort fell asleep, Odette usually stayed up a little longer and wracked her brain for reasons as to why Cortney was acting this way. She didn't want to pry her sister for information but at the same time, she was concerned. On more than one occasion she had overheard her crying in the shower. It made her feel rather useless to know her sister was clearly hurting badly and she had no idea why.

"Did mom tell you what her plans were for today?"

Coco thinks this over for a moment before answering, "I think she said Elyse invited her over for dinner."

Elyse was one of Anika's only friends but the girls had a theory that the woman was only friends with their mother because it earned her a 'friend' spot on the show. Apparently mean girls with ulterior motives existed even post-menopause.

"I think I saw the filming crew van getting there as we were leaving."

"Thank god we missed them." Coco rolled her eyes before leaning forward to rest her head on the side of the drivers headrest, "Peter, are we almost there yet?"

Not listening for the drivers confirmation Odette thinks about what a sad holiday her mother was going to have. Just her and Elyse and the bravo film crew. It sounded hopelessly depressing.

"I asked Pops if mom could come."

At this admission, Cortney abandons waiting for an answer from the driver and sits back in her seat to give her sister her full attention, "_Why_?"

"I don't know. I feel bad that she's always alone on this day and the other exes get to come, I don't think it's fair she's left out."

Cort had to somewhat agree with her. Both of their dad's ex-wives had been coming to the Rockefeller Thanksgivings since the girls were at least ten and it had always seemed a bit intentional that Anika was the only one exed from the list after her and J.D split.

"What'd Pops say?"

"He said that he understood but that Mary and Lorraine both weren't invited this year and it would be unfair if he didn't include them but included mom."

"Right.. but he always includes them and never mom, so would it really be unfair?"

Odette's mouth twisted slightly, "My thoughts exactly."

As they continue their _exploration_ into upstate New York both girls remain silent. Cortney had resided to listening to music through her headphones and Odette found herself once again aimlessly scrolling through her social media platforms.

As the gentle tone of Stevie Nicks's voice rang through her ears Cortney tried desperately to focus on the lyrics she knew so well but like any other time she was left to her thoughts, her mind instantly went back to the other night.

_'After fifteen or so minutes of making out in the bathroom, Kati and Cortney had returned to the party. Thankfully, Kati wasn't acting weird in the slightest. She continued to hug on Coco any opportunity she got and as weird as it felt to know they had kissed, Cort also found it kind of thrilling. She had never experienced a kiss like that. Not just because of the fact that Kati was a girl, but in general Cort had never felt the things she did kissing anyone else before._

_Before long Iz came up to the pair and told them to get their things so they could leave with the guys to the after-party._

_Bobby Hewit was captain of the St. Judes basketball team and ridiculously attractive. He was also a senior which made him all the more appealing to the underclassmen. Iz had been trying to score a date with him for months now, and while hanging out at his house with their friends wasn't exactly a date she seemed thrilled nonetheless._

_Iz had brought Kati and Coco along to keep Bobby's friends, and fellow seniors, Lucas Haus and Benjamin Kyler, company so she could hopefully get some alone time with Bobby and sure enough, pretty much as soon as they arrived he took Iz off to his room._

_"Are we okay to be here?" Coco looked around the townhouse nervously._

_"Yeah, Bobby's parents are in California visiting his brother till next Tuesday." Lucas offers as he plops down on the sofa next to Kati, draping his arm over her shoulder in the process._

_"Okay." His attempt to reassure her did nothing. She still felt extremely weird being here. Usually, she wouldn't, but she didn't know either of these guys very well and really just wanted to leave and go back to Kati's for their sleepover like they originally had planned._

_"Relax Co." Kati can sense her friend's uneasiness from across the room but she wasn't planning on leaving, at least not without Iz._

_"Yeah Co, relax." The corner of Benji's eyes crinkled as he patted the spot next to him on one of the loveseats. _

_Cort stands still for a moment but as Kati's eyes flicker to the empty spot she moves quickly to sit next to Benji. _

_"Does anyone want to smoke?" _

_Ignoring Cort's offer Lucas licks his lips before going in for a kiss with Kati. She freezes completely as his lips meet her own but she doesn't push him away._

_"Um..." Cort looks between the two of them and then to Benji. _

_Lucas pulls away abruptly, "You can't kiss back? What are you some prude?" _

_"No, I'm not." _

_"I told you what they say about her bro, I guess it is true." _

_Cort's head snaps to Benji, her eyes flashing with anger, "Who says what about her?" _

_"I don't know, I just heard somewhere that the reason you do everything but actually fuck is that you're not into dudes. But you do the other stuff so people think you are." _

_Kati's mouth fell agape at this admission. Their friend group was easily considered as the most popular girls at Constance, even over the senior girls. They usually knew all the gossip there was to know about anyone in the school, but she had never heard this rumor about herself. "What, are you implying that I'm 'gay'?" _

_Benji shrugs, laughing to himself at hearing a girl say 'gay'. _

_"I'm not a lesbian." Kati winces, her mouth puckering slightly as if it made her physically ill to even have to say it._

_"Oh yeah? Then prove it." Lucas licks his lips again, his fingers fumbling to unbutton and remove his pants. In one fluid motion, he had his pants and boxer shorts down around his ankles, exposing his fully erect penis. He grabs it and yanks it in Kati's direction, "Prove it or you're totally a lesbo." _

_"Stop it!" Cort stands up quickly, "Kati, you don't have to do this. You have nothing to prove." _

_Kati doesn't look at her as she speaks. She can't. After what had happened between them earlier she felt she had more to prove now than ever, not just to Lucas but to Coco as well. Without saying another word Kati gets down on her knees in front of Lucas and begins to take him into her mouth. _

_Horrified, Cort tightly shuts her eyes but as slurping and sucking sounds fill the air around them she knows she needs to walk away. She couldn't sit here and listen to Iz go down on him after they had only just been kissing mere hours before. It made her feel gross. _

_She searches the entire bottom half of the townhome for a safe place to wait for her friends and finally decides on the small library to the left of the staircase. _

_Once inside she sits on the couch and pushes her hair back as she attempts to calm her racing heart. _

_She was incredibly shaken up by what she had just witnessed and it was all too obvious to her that Kati felt the need to do that because she regretted kissing her. Which of course, made her feel really bad because she had actually enjoyed the kiss. Which perhaps made her 'gay' and Kati had obviously felt very bothered by that word and what it said about her. Did that mean she'd be equally disgusted with Cort if she knew she was gay? _

_Her thoughts are interrupted as Benji walks into the room, snickering to himself, "Your girl is wild. I've never seen anything like that." _

_"Uh-huh." her tone is incredibly passive but she didn't care. Didn't he realize she was having an identity crisis and he was being rude interrupting it? _

_"I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing, that clearly freaked you out." Benji moves to sit next to her but leaves space between them which Cortney appreciates. "How old are you anyway?" _

_"Fifteen." _

_"Jesus Christ." He snickers once again, "You're just a baby!" _

_Cort stares at him blankly, "How old are you?" _

_"Eighteen. So, I can buy you cigarettes if you want." He wasn't exactly offering, it was more of a statement to attest to his ''mature' age. "Your Odette's little sister right?" _

_"Mhm." _

_"Yeah you look like her." He studies her for a moment, his eyes drifting down to her chest, "Kinda." _

_Rolling her eyes Cort crosses her arms in an attempt to cover herself up and turns her focus to one of the paintings on the adjacent wall. Maybe if she stopped responding he would leave her alone. _

_"Look, the way I see it, our friends are probably going to be awhile so we might as well make the best of a bad situation right?" She says nothing, "Wanna make out a little?"_

_"Oh my god, if it makes you stop talking to me then whatever!" _

_She most definitely did not want to make out with him, but she wasn't left with any other options considering he was clearly not going to leave her alone. Besides, he was annoying when he opened his mouth, but when he was quiet he was conventionally attractive at least. There were certainly worse people she could feel obligated to make out with. _

_With a satisfied grin, Benji wraps an arm around Coco's slim waist and picks her up before bringing her down on his lap. All with one arm. _

_"Those muscles..." Cortney would be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little impressed by his toned physique. _

_Wrapping her arms around his neck she leans in and begins to kiss him. He wasn't the best kisser, but he wasn't the worst either. She didn't exactly enjoy it, but it would suffice to help kill time. _

_After only a few moments, one of Benji's hands begins groping her chest as the other begins to feel up her dress. _

_"Whoa," She pulls away from his touch, holding a hand up to his chest, "We're just kissing. I'm a virgin so that's as far as it goes with me." _

_"Virgin." Benji's eyes lit up, obviously humored, "Look, Iz told us you fucked Chuck, that was the whole reason you were invited?" He begins to kiss her neck and forces his hand back up her dress. _

_"Hey, I'm serious!" She starts to try to push him off her, but to avail. As she feels his fingers begin to graze the thin material of her underwear she reacts on impulse and slaps the side of his face she has access to. _

_He pulls back, stunned by this impact, but the surprised look on his face quickly disappears and is replaced with anger, "Don't act like you're too good for me, any girl that has hooked up with Chuck Bass doesn't exactly have standards." _

_Without another word, Benji wraps an arm around Coco's slim waist and picks her up before flipping her over onto her stomach. He hikes her dress all the way up to her chest before yanking her underwear down, tearing them in the process. All with one arm. _

_The other arm was used to apply pressure to her shoulders and neck as he held her face against the side of the couch. Cortney did attempt to fight him but 'those muscles...' He overpowered her easily and began to forcefully penetrate her from behind. _

_He didn't try to start soft or go slow, he went in rough and dry and his hip bones bounced against her bare body rapidly as he tried to establish his rhythm. _

_It wasn't anything like she had learned. There was no 'virginal barrier' for him to break through, he had slipped into her easily. Too easily. Her body did nothing to help her fight him off and she hated that. _

_He had noticed this too, and in-between guttural grunts of pleasure he managed to say, "Yeah, virgin my ass."'_

Benji, the big-strong macho-man that he is, lasted all of eight minutes. But it was enough time to do damage, obviously. That night was never far from her mind and anytime she got into her own head her subconscious took her back there. Replaying every awful moment.

She had told no one. Partly because she was ashamed but also because she didn't want their sympathy. Her life felt pathetic enough without adding the implications of being a rape victim.

_Rape._

For just being a four-letter word it sure did feel huge and massively weighted.

What would people think of her? Would they be as disgusted by her as she was herself? Probably, which is why she remained silent about it. She had resigned to not telling a soul about what happened that night. None of it. Not her moment with Benji and certainly not her moment with Kati in the bathroom.

Glancing over to her sister she watches as she scrolls through her Instagram feed.

Part of her really wanted to tell Odette though; tell her all of it. But it was hard to find the right moment. When was the right time to drop bombs like that on your family?

_'Hey, Dee, I was assaulted the other night. Also, I think I'm gay.' _

Feeling Cort's eyes on her Odette looks up from her phone and is met by an almost puppy-dog like stare from her sister, "Are you okay?"

She most definitely wasn't.

_Tell her. _

_Tell her now._

Closing her eyes briefly, Coco takes in a deep breath in an attempt to prepare herself to get this out.

_You'll feel so much better. _

_Or, you won't._

_Just tell her._

_"We've arrived." _

Both sisters look away from each other and to the front of the car, meeting the reflection of the drivers' face in the rearview mirror.

Coco is the first to move, looking out the window as the past through the entrance to the grandest of all the Rockefeller estates.

_"Welcome back to Kykuit."_

* * *

Kykuit was the original house in which the early generations of Rockefeller's had lived and raised their families. It was a sprawling three-thousand plus acre property that sat at the highest point of Pocantico Hills, overlooking the Hudson River. But the waterfront view isn't the only thing that drew them to this property. It was also located at just the right spot to be able to see the New York City Skyline in the distance. This was everything to them.

The forty-bedroom mansion had retained it's old-world charm through all the years and had hosted all sorts of diplomats including four-sitting U.S Presidents and Nelson Mandela. Kykuit was a source of great pride for the Rockefeller family because it embodied everything they wanted the world to think of them. Boasting a full golf-course, two tennis courts, a grand stable, and polo field, as well as various flower and sculpture gardens, Kykuit told the world, '_we are obnoxiously wealthy and better than you_.'

But they had earned the right to be so flamboyant about their wealth. It was _that_ extreme and almost everyone was fascinated by the trappings of said wealth.

The Rockefeller's were synonymous with New York and had basically built the entire skyline, and what they didn't build they probably helped fund in one way or another. So, why _shouldn't_ they be able to see that glorious skyline from the family home? They essentially owned it and owned Manhattan and they knew it too.

Despite the lavish amount of space, no one lived in Kykuit full time. David and Vivianne had raised their children here until J.D started secondary school at which point they relocated permanently to the Upper East Side. They always talked about returning when David finally retired but deep down they knew that would never happen. David wasn't going to relinquish his holding over the powerhouses that were the many Rockefeller businesses until he was dead. And even then, no one would be surprised if he figured out a way to remain his control even in death.

So, for now, the family estate had remained as the hosting grounds for family holidays.

Despite all living in various districts of Manhattan, every member of the immediate Rockefeller family drove upstate to stay the weekend in Kykuit during Thanksgiving break.

As Peter holds the door open for both girls they take mental note of all the familiar cars already parked accordingly, "Damn, I think we're the very last ones to get here."

"I don't see Chris's truck." Odette comments, searching for the beat-up old chevy.

"Thank god for that, hopefully, he sold it for something less shitty." Coco shook her head in dismay. She didn't understand her brother's need to stray so far from their family that he felt the need to slum it so terribly, but then again all her siblings were questionable in their own right.

Before they can reach the top of the front steps both french doors swing open, the various stewards already expecting them and ready to take their coats and luggage.

Handing her vintage Louis Vuitton luggage bag off to one of the servicemen Odette makes her way towards the grand living room, Coco right on her heels. As they get closer she can hear the sound of familiar voices, talking over each other and laughing as someone plays a melodious tune on the grand piano. "Remember to not let them get to you, try to bite your tongue and we can always bitch about them later," Odette mutters under her breath, waiting for a nod from Coco before fully entering the room.

_"There they are!" _

_"...I mean, finally?" _

_"You've grown at least three inches since the last time I saw you." _

Trying her best to _'take it all in' _Odette smiles kindly as she looks from one family member to the next, "Sorry, traffic was a killer."

"We're all coming from the same place,_ sis_."

Flipping her long, mahogany brown hair, from one shoulder the next, Rebecca casts a condescending smirk at her younger sister, "But I suppose all of our time is far less important than your own."

_Here we go..._

Rebecca was the oldest of J.D's daughters and therefore had felt superior to the others since birth. She claimed to be wise in the ways of the world because of her life experiences and fully expected her younger siblings to look up to and admire her. But in reality, her only 'life experiences' consisted of her dating much older, always married, men and going on yoga retreats in Bali where she would smoke weed and claim to know all of the truths of the world.

She was full of shit, always and her and Odette never saw eye to eye on anything.

"That's not true, Becca." Refraining from rolling her eyes, Odette walks towards her Aunt Adrienne and gives her a peck on the cheek in greeting.

Studying Odette as she moves across the room greeting their various family members, Rebecca continues, "Yes, well that's the message you send by being so late, dear. It's very inconsiderate, honestly. My mother has low-blood sugar and waiting for you two has quite literally made her ill."

"Auntie Char," Odette leans in to greet her aunt Charlotte, "Hey, Dean." She opts to only give her uncle a side hug. Despite knowing him her entire life she didn't feel any sort of closeness to her Uncle, mainly because he was never very nice to her Aunt. At the last point Rebecca makes Odette quickly directs her attention back to her, "Your mother?"

Without saying a word Rebecca gestures across the room to where her mother, Lorraine sat with ex-wife number two, Mary.

_What the hell?_

She was confused and very annoyed that her grandfather had outright lied to her but she was also nothing if not cordial, "Hello Ms. Timmonds, Ms. Hammond. Happy Thanksgiving, I'm sorry for keeping everyone waiting."

"Oh, you're fine dear!" Lorraine flashes her best beauty queen smile, "Becks, be nice to your sister."

To say their family dynamic was weird was an understatement.

Still hearing the faint tune of the piano Odette looks over and watches as her brother's fingers fly across the keys. He moves so quickly that one would think to expect a horrid string of random notes being played, but instead, soothing sounds come pouring out. He was masterful when it came to playing the piano, but that was about all he could do and not fuck up.

Standing next to him is Iris and once she makes eye contact with Odette she moves in towards her, "Hey, sister, sisters." Throwing her arms around both Odette and Coco, she pulls them in for a tight hug. This was the usual with her. She would pretend she felt comfortable hugging them and they would pretend they couldn't feel her ribs and spine almost breaking through her paper-thin skin.

Iris had always been considered the _'fat sister'. _Until she wasn't. Much like Blair, bulimia had become her best friend in the last few years. She really was never that big but compared to her much thinner sisters she had always felt like a cow. But now, she was the thinnest of all of them. In their eyes, she looked sickly, but in her own mind she had never looked better.

Besides, sharing her weight-loss journey online had garnered her a massive following and loads of brand deals. Sure, she wasn't being honest about how she had achieved what she did but really, what influencers ever are?

After engaging in small talk with Iris about school and her newest podcast for a few minutes Odette finds an out and goes to greet her brother.

Of all her half-siblings Odette was closest in age to Theo.

He was twenty-one and had been a senior when all her friends were freshmen; hence his past hookup with Serena. He had also been best friends with Carter Baizen growing up which is how Odette had initially met his younger brother Isaac.

As she approached the grand piano, Theo's eyes looked glued shut. He took the piano very seriously and would get completely lost in the moment as he put all his energy and focus into the music he was playing.

Unfortunately, the only thing Theo put as much of his energy into other then the piano was hard drugs.

"Sounds great, Theo."

Suddenly, both his hands slam against the black and white keys causing everyone to wince at the awful noise it produced. "Way to go Odette, you ruined it!"

He was an asshole when he was high.

He had been to rehab more times than Lohan, Spears, Barrymore, and Robert Downey Jr. combined. _Times two._ His antics never managed to land him in jail, his family name and money always serving as his saving grace. Once cleared, Theo and his mother, Mary, would then cry to David about how he 'needs help' and David would foot the bill for some boujee and bogus rehab stint. _Again_. Only for Theo to stay sober for a minute before falling back into the cycle all over again.

Last she had heard, he was clean.

Theo looks up from where he's sitting on the piano bench and glares at his younger sister, "How does it feel to constantly squash someone's greatness you little bitch?"

He was an asshole sober too.

_"Theo, no, no. Deep breaths hon. Remember what your healer said. Put out bad energy and what will you receive?" _

Odette looks between Theo and his mother as they both start doing breathing exercises to help calm him down.

After a moment of doing this, he rolls his shoulders back before looking back at Odette with a smile, "I'm sorry about that Dee-Dee. I'm working on my temper." Standing up from the bench seat he kisses Odette on the forehead before walking towards his mother. She instantly wrapped him in a bear hug, praising him for how _wonderfully_ he had handled himself.

This entire family was _so_ weird.

_"Nonnie, Happy Thanksgiving!"_

Hearing Cort greet their grandmother Odette turns to the main entrance of the room and sees her walking in with her arms wrapped around a busty, bronze-haired, woman. They were followed shortly behind by David and Jordan.

Odette's smile completely vanishes once she sees Jordan. Her mother couldn't come to their family holiday but Jordan and his jersey trash wife could?

Pulling back from hugging Coco, Vivianne's eyes land on Odette, "Lovey-dovey, come here!"

Odette was trying her best to remain pleasant and cordial but with each new person she greeted it was getting more difficult.

"Dove, this is Aly, Jordan's wife." Vivianne gestures between the two, "I think you met her at our Christmas party last year."

"Right, Alyssa. I didn't recognize you without the brown hair."

Alyssa was pretty, if you were into the whole fake-boobs, fake-tan, stereotypical jersey girl, look. Since Odette had last seen her, which was almost a year ago, she had gone from Jordan's girlfriend to his wife and she had also gone from brunette to boxed bronze, apparently.

"Yeah, well I figured I'd see if blondes really do have more fun." Nudging Odette, Aly starts to laugh.

Her dialect was Snookie but her laugh was all Janice from 'Friends'. She was trash and despite Odette not knowing her, she couldn't stand her.

"Did you like the flowers Jo and I got you?"

At this question, Vivianne is noticeably taken back, "Odette, didn't you send a thank you card?"

"I did."

Alyssa's green eyes flicker between the two Rockefeller women, "I don't want to cause an issue here, but Odette, I never received a thank you card." She winced as she spoke as if to convey that she felt _so_ awkward having to bring it up that it physically hurt her. But if it bothered her so much she would have kept her big mouth shut.

Vivianne was huge on social graces and was obviously mortified at the thought of her granddaughter not sending a thank you card to the couple after she had promised she would.

Odette stares, her eyes full of contempt, as she scrambles for an explanation. She wasn't going through an entire holiday weekend with her grandmother upset with her because of this white-trash woman.

Jordan, only half-listening to David, overhears the conversation amongst the women and quickly interjects, "That's my bad Al, Odette sent the thank you card to my office and I forgot to bring it home. I think it got buried under piles of paperwork and ended up in the trash, no offense." He looks to Odette at the last part but knows no offense will be taken because there was never a card to begin with. He knew her all too well.

"Yeah, I didn't know your address so I just sent it to the Edelman office." Odette nods in agreement and apparently this suffices both Vivianne and Alyssa because both women shrug it off and carry forward into the living room.

David greets his granddaughter with a small side hug before walking off to the bar for a refill. Usually, he'd be way more excited to see Odette but he knew once she arrived that she'd catch him in his lie and be upset and he wasn't nearly drunk enough to deal with her dramatic.

Watching Aly converse with some of the other family members, Jordan finally speaks to Odette, "I guess you owe me one now?"

"Last I checked part of your job is to get us out of tricky situations. You saving my ass is just part of the job description, _Jo_." She had never heard anyone call him that until Alyssa so of course she had to throw it in his face. Rolling her eyes Odette moves away from Jordan and towards where her father is seated.

"Happy Thanksgiving daddy." She sighs as she relaxes into the seat next to him, her head against his broad shoulder.

"Happy Thanksgiving sweetheart." Setting his phone down J.D rubs at his eyes, tired already even though the festivities were barely starting.

"Mom told me to tell you Happy Thanksgiving from her." As she speaks, she watches him carefully out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, yeah?" In past years he probably would have groaned or made some snide remark but for whatever reason, this year, this seemed endearing, "Well when you call her later, you can tell her I wish her a Happy Thanksgiving as well."

It was an incredibly small thing, but it was nice to hear. It had been a long time since Odette had heard J.D say anything remotely kind to Anika. Sure, he wasn't saying it directly to her but this is one interaction Odette didn't mind playing messenger for.

She couldn't be surprised though, her father was notorious for this hot and cold behavior. That's why he had been recycling the same three women over the past three decades. Sure, there were many other flings sprinkled in during and in between, but his three main _loves_ had always remained the same.

Lorraine Timmons was J.D's high school sweetheart. They had been together for years when he got her pregnant during their freshman year of college. They were both from well respected, high-society, families who refused to deal with the scandal of them not only having a baby while they were still so young, but also being unmarried and living in sin. So of course, they got married. Their wedding was the talk of the Upper East Side and was rumored to have shared the same price tag as Princess Diana's royal wedding. Odette was pretty positive her grandparents had spun that story themselves, but it said something about the Rockefellers wealth that no one really questioned or doubted it. J.D and Lorraine were the brunette Barbie and Ken of the Upper East Side and their lives were perfect. Until they weren't.

Christopher was about five when J.D started to grow bored with his wife and his life as a father. It was around this time that he met New York's newest District Attorney, Mary Hammond. Mary wasn't the most attractive woman in the world. She wasn't ugly per se, but she wasn't anywhere near being the knock out Lorraine was. J.D didn't care though, their connection wasn't superficial. He liked that Mary was independent. She worked and held a high profile position, she was also eight years older than him, and in her early thirties while he was fresh out of university and still wet behind the ears. She knew what she wanted and what she wanted was him. She didn't care about the ring on his finger or the baby he had waiting for him back home. Which said a lot about her character, but J.D didn't care about that either. She was an experienced woman and she brought excitement and pleasure back into his life.

She also brought him another child, a daughter.

Mary had expected that once J.D found out she was pregnant he would leave Lorraine and marry her instead but that was never in J.D's plans. He lusted after Mary, but Lorraine was who his heart belonged to. At least, that was his logic for it all. Besides, just as Lorraine had no idea he was sleeping with Mary, Mary had no clue that he was still taking Lorraine to bed. This all came to light when Lorraine wound up pregnant as well and gave birth to her daughter, Rebecca, only a few weeks before Mary delivered Iris.

Struggling to raise her child as a single mother for months, with J.D giving her the run-around on when he was 'leaving', Mary took matters into her own hands and showed up at the Rockefellers front steps and confessed everything to Lorraine. After several arguments and a DNA test everything Mary said was confirmed true and Lorraine filed for divorce. Left without his first choice, J.D decided to settle with his second option and married Mary. Five years later they had Theo and J.D made peace with the fact that this would be his life now.

Once Theo turned two Mary was eager to get back to work and so they embarked on the search for the perfect nanny for their young children. A beautiful, young, blonde showed up for the interview and though she was qualified Mary had her reservations. She knew how she got her husband and knew how she could lose him too. J.D swore to her that nothing would happen with the nanny and convinced her that they would be fools to let her go off to some other family, and so she hired her. She had no idea that would be the kiss of death for her marriage.

Despite his reassurance on the matter J.D fell head over heels for the young, foreign, nanny, shortly after 'falling' into her. So he divorced Mary and financially supported Anika's modeling career for some time before marrying her the year she turned twenty-one. She gave him his final two children, Odette and Cortney. Much to everyones surprise, his marriage to Anika lasted longer than any of the others. But even that could only last so long.

J.D had too much of a wondering eye to stay committed and in one place for long. But, despite finding issues with every woman, and justifying cheating on them and leaving them because of these issues, he still had returned to each one of them at one point in time. For some of them, multiple times. But those stories were kept much more secret.

To Odette, her expansive family filled with multiple half-siblings was odd but normal because it was all she knew. To David, the patriarch of the Rockefeller family, it was an utter disgrace.

But really, all his children were disappointments in his eye for one reason or another.

J.D was a serial adulterer with multiple children from different women.

Charlotte, his middle child, was unable to have children. This wasn't her fault of course but it still made her a disappointment because she wasn't all that smart, she didn't work, and she didn't have children. Essentially, she did nothing to further the Rockefeller legacy.

And Adrienne, the youngest of his children, was a homosexual and had a partner who David could not stand. Like Charlotte's infertility, being gay wasn't Adrienne's fault, but the Rockefellers were devout Catholics and therefore did not agree with the lifestyle. They loved her but they never fully accepted it.

From the outside, the Rockefellers looked like the picture-perfect family but it was really all an illusion. Much like the world they resided in, the Rockefeller family was gilded. They glittered like gold but if someone tried to chip away at the surface they'd realize it was really only ever cheap gold paint and they'd see all the ugliness, corruption, and chaos that resided within that they tried so desperately to keep hidden.

But, no one ever really tried to come for, or challenge, them because there were too many others that had tried and been crushed and ruined in the process.

Every move someone made against them, somehow the family was always several steps ahead and that's why after all this time, after all these generations of gilded fuck-ups, the Rockefeller family remained a New York dynasty that other prominent families envied.

"Pardon me," David taps a metal stirring stick against his cocktail glass in an attempt to gain the rooms attention, "I think it's about time for us to head into the dining room. Who's hungry?"

_"I am."_

At the sound of this particular voice everyone's eyes drift to the front of the room.

"Ah, the prodigal son returns."

_Christopher._

* * *

In every family, especially one so large and successful, there was always one person that was considered to be the outcast. A _wayward soul_ that had lost their way and deviated from the family's set of rules and expectations.

Considering that Theo was an addict, _currently sober_, it would be expected that he would have been viewed at this proverbial black sheep. However, David had managed for years now to keep this knowledge from being publically known, and what the public didn't know couldn't hurt their image. Therefore, as long as Theo played the part and kept his habits private, he remained a _respected_ memory of the family. He even held a high profile job at Chase Manhattan directly under J.D. All for appearance's sake, of course, it's not like they would actually trust a drug addict with anything of real worth.

It was part of the process and part of the image. It was expected that everyone, once they graduated from University, would start working at one of the family businesses. Everyone needed to do their part to keep the Rockefeller wealth churning like a well-oiled machine.

Christopher was the oldest of all the grandchildren, he was exceptionally smart, charismatic, and everyone had extremely high hopes for him in regards to one day possibly taking over the reins of ROCK COR. However, he also had a child with a woman David adamantly disapproved of, and from there, things had taken a terrible turn. David had made it clear he would cut Chris off if he stayed with the woman and had fully expected the threat of losing the financial security he was so accustomed to would make it an easy decision.

And it was, but it wasn't the choice anyone expected him to make. Certainly, no one else in the family could understand it because there was nothing that could make them walk away from the lifestyle.

But Chris did and he had never looked back.

He stopped talking to J.D and David for a few years but he had started to come around during some holidays over the last couple of years, mainly through the meddling of Vivianne. However, regardless of how eager most of the family was to see him, there was always a thick air of tension between Chris and David. Everyone would pretend they didn't notice though and no one was better at pretending than David.

Once everyone found their place at the table David interrupted the small talk to make a point.

"Christopher, why didn't you bring Malia?"

At the mention of Chris's five-year-old everyone at the table goes silent.

Chris stays quiet for a moment, carefully considering his words, "She's with Imani, and her family today."

"You weren't invited to Imani's family's Thanksgiving?" The creases in David's forehead became much more pronounced as his eyebrows furrowed together.

"I was, but I haven't seen everyone in a while so I decided to come here this year. For the record though, because I know you're keeping one, her family doesn't exclude me from anything. _You're_ the only one that does that."

"How about I start the prayer?" Vivianne claps her hands together in an attempt to pull the attention away from the situation at hand.

David, never one to back down, chuckles to himself as he takes a sip of his drink before responding, "I'm sorry to have so greatly offended you, but I don't think a table that has dined Presidents should be shared with exotic dancers."

Several members at the family audibly groan in protest of this comment, knowing exactly where this would lead.

"Goddamnit!" The veins in Chris's neck were far more pronounced, pulsating faster the more his anger grew, "She was a cocktail waitress! And she hasn't even worked there in- You know what? Doesn't matter. Your issue with her has never been her occupation."

"Darling," Vivianne calls to her husband, sitting on the opposite end of the massive dining-table, "Everyone is starving, let's do the prayer." Without waiting for confirmation from David she continues. Clearing her throat, she brings her hands together and glances around the table to make sure everyone does the same.

They all do, except Chris and David who were both stuck in a death stare.

"Bless us, O Lord-"

"So, what exactly _is_ my issue with her, Christopher?" Planting both elbows on the table in front of him David leans forward as if to challenge him.

Odette was seated directly across from her older brother and, much like every other family member at the table, as the conversation between Pops and Chris grew more hostile, she grew more fidgety. Shifting and stirring in her seat she could feel her heartrate pick up with each passing moment. She knew what was coming, they all did.

"_David_..." Vivianne's tone was losing its cheer as she casts him a warning glare.

Chris can feel the eyes of every person at the table staring directly at him. All of them were probably hoping that he would just let it go and act like everything is fine. But, it wasn't and unlike the rest of the family _sheep_, he had stopped being scared of his grandfather a long time ago. He had nothing to lose anymore, "She's black. That's your issue, that's always been your issue."

"Okay, guys." Charlotte laughs, nervously, "Both of you calm down."

Dean, who was actually quite enjoying the spectacle, leaned over to his wife, "Stop talking."

And _of course_, she did.

"You're now accusing me of being racist?" David slams his hand down on the polished walnut surface, causing some at the table to lurch forward in their seats out of surprise. "I have provided for every person at this table-"

"Yes, and you expect us all to _kiss your ring_."

"Shut your mouth!" David jams his index finger in Christopher's direction before starting again, "I have provided for every person at this table and you have the _gull_ to sit there judging me and accuse me of being some sort of ignoramus? I have people of color sitting on my board of directors, I have colored business partners and friends. I gave money to Obama's campaign! So, who is racist?"

Shaking his head in dismay Chris has to laugh at what a ridiculous response this was, "That's great that you support them professionally and politically, but that doesn't change the fact you don't want people of color in your family and you have never forgiven me for _tarnishing_ the bloodline by having a kid with a, your words, _'low-income black girl'_." He makes sure to emphasize this point with air-quotes, "I mean, that's why you were willing to pay me off to get her to have an abortion, right? That's why you chose to stop supporting me financially when she didn't? Which, honestly, I should thank you for. At the time getting cut off felt like the worst thing that could happen to me, but now I can see that _your_ money and _your_ possessions are just elaborate strings tethering us like your little mindless puppets, and that's exactly why you do what you do. And you resent for cutting those strings and discovering that I can make it on my own and be way happier than I ever was in this family. And I scare you because I'm an example to these others," Chris gestures to all his siblings, his eyes settling on Coco and Odette last, "that there is way more to life than what you're willing to offer us. Because everything you do offer comes with a catch. To accept your jobs and your money is to essentially sign our lives away to the Devil, and you hate me for knowing that."

David pushes himself out of his chair, shaking as he yells across the table, "No, I hate you because you're an ungrateful little shit!"

Odette had never seen her grandfather this upset. Members of her family argued, all the time, but never like this. As upset as every person at this table had made David before, none of them had made him react in the way he was right now. His anger seemed to stem from defensiveness which showed them all that there was at least some truth to what Chris was saying.

"Damn you both!" This time Vivianne is the one to slam her hands against the table, causing the china to rumble from the impact and everyone's head to instantly snap in her direction, "This is a day to be thankful for what we have, and we have _a lot_. We are not doing this right now! Christopher, this is a conversation we can have at a later time. David, sit down before you give yourself another heart attack. Everyone else, put your goddamn hands together, we are going to pray!"

Instantly every person does as their told.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive..."

As Odette follows the prayer she looks between Pops and Chris and sees that neither of them is praying, instead they were still staring one another down. This was far from the end of this issue.

"...through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

"_Amen_."

* * *

The remainder of the dinner had gone as well as it could, but holiday cheer was pretty much killed once the family patriarch was accused of being a racist.

After dinner, everyone had returned to the living room for coffee and desert and had broken off into separate groups to converse.

Odette had been sitting with her aunts through most of desert; answering their many questions about school, friends, and...

"Enough about the boring stuff, give us the good details." Charlotte bites on the tip of her acrylic nail, "Do you have a special fella in your life?"

"Or, person." Adrienne corrects, giving her sister subtle side-eye before looking to Odette, eagerly waiting for an answer.

Of course, her mind instantly went to Chuck. But, really thoughts of him were never very far from her mind anyways. She tried her best not to think of him, to distract herself from it all, but that was harder to do when she was directly asked about her love life. All she could do was be honest, "I don't."

Charlotte does her best to not show her disappointment but her best isn't nearly good enough. She didn't do much work-wise, and her money had bought her way through her schooling. She had gotten married young and was in a loveless, sex-less, marriage. As pathetic as it was, she enjoyed being able to live vicariously through the younger girls in her family. Even if, only for a brief moment. But, Odette had zero steamy gossip to give, "What about Coco?"

Looking over at her younger sister as she laughs at something Alex says Odette can't help but feel conflicted. On one hand, she loved her sister and was worried about what was going on with her, but on the other, she was still deeply hurt by her and angry, "I don't know."

At this bland response, Charlotte doesn't bother trying to hide her disappointment. With a long sigh, she stands up and walks over to another group to talk without saying another word.

Adrienne rolls her eyes, humored by her sisters' dramatics, "Don't take that personally. She's just bored."

"Oh, I know. I get it. If I had to go home to Dean every night, I would be too." This was probably an inappropriate comment to make to anyone else in this family but she knew Adrienne wouldn't judge her. In fact...

Leaning into her niece she whispers, "You couldn't pay me enough money." After a small laugh, Adrienne pulls back again, refocusing her gaze across the room on Alex and Coco. "I've been wanting to talk to you about something Deets." She waits for Odette to look at her before continuing, "I know little sisters can be annoying, take it from a little sister." She gestures to herself with a small grin, "But, Cort is very sensitive and naive... and there's just something I see in her that reminds me of myself at her age. It was a hard time for me, for obvious reasons, and I'm not saying the same is true for Cort but I do know that feeling more understood by my family would have made everything much more simple for me. I think today was a perfect example of how volatile this family can be and you need to look out for her."

_'But who looks out for me?'_

Odette listens to every word coming out of her aunts' mouth, taking it all in and processing it as best she can, "I hear you and trust me, I'm trying. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to call and check in with my mother."

She makes her way around her various family members and walks down the hall to the powder room, figuring it would be the only place far enough away from everyone to give her some much-needed privacy. But once she pushes the door open she's instantly taken aback by the sight before her.

Theo was hunched over the sink, with the water running, injecting a needle in his arm.

He had made a makeshift tourniquet out of two condoms and had all his other _equipment _spread out on the small counter. Once he saw Odette he quickly yanked the syringe out, as if that would change the fact that she had clearly already seen it. "

Fuck you don't knock?"

"You don't lock the door before doing that?" Odette spoke in a monotone, stunned by what she was seeing.

It was one thing to know your brother was an addict but it was another thing entirely to see him actively shooting up. Blood had begun to pool around the entry sight due to him suddenly yanking the needle out. "I'm..I'm sorry." She quickly turns to leave the room but is stopped as Theo grabs her by one shoulder and throws her up against the door.

His face was so close to hers that as he spoke she could feel the warmth of his breath hit her cheeks, "You better keep your mouth shut. You didn't see shit, got it?"

Odette's lips tremble as Theo continues to press his weight against her for good measure, "I didn't see anything."

Satisfied with her answer, or perhaps by the fear behind her eyes, Theo lets her go and moves to discard the evidence.

Before leaving the room Odette looks him over, "You need to clean that area with soap and water, put some antibiotics and bandage it."

"Obviously. I've been doing this a long time."

Once Odette walks out of the room she leans against the door frame, taking the moment to settle her nerves. Why couldn't her family be even just a little less fucked up? They had all the money in the world that helped fix so many of their problems, yet there were others that their wealth helped feed. Like Theo's addiction.

Pulling out her phone, Odette's fingernails tap against the screen as she writes up a message,

_**To: Nate**_

_**From: Odette**_

_**I'll raise you one dad snorting coke in the study for one brother shooting up in the powder room ha**_

She debated sending it.

Nate had been really upset when he confided in her about his dad and she didn't want him to think that she didn't take it seriously.

_"Hey," _

Deciding to not overthink it too much she hits send and looks down the hall to see who's calling her.

"Awe, are you leaving already?"

"Aren't you surprised I even made it this long?" Chris meets her halfway down the hall, bringing her in for a big hug.

Odette makes sure to squeeze him a little tighter than usual. There was no telling when she would see him again, especially since the drama of today probably set him and David back even further on the road to mending their relationship.

"I didn't even get to talk to you very much."

"I know, I've got to get better at checking in more. My issue is with him and Dad, not you." Chris rubs at the back of his neck, almost nervously, as he speaks. "I wanted to tell you though, Imani and I are having another baby."

Odette's eyes lit up, "Oh my goodness, Chris!" She throws her arms around him once more, "Congratulations!"

"Thank you. She's still early into the pregnancy and I've only told my mom and Becks and well, now you. But, I'd kind of like it to stay that way?" Their first pregnancy had brought so much unwanted drama and had shown him such a cruel and ugly side to the man he was once admired. He had no desire to relive it again. Especially when he already knew how it would go.

"Goes without saying," Odette reassures him with an overly animated nod. She was beyond excited though, "Send my love and good wishes to Imani and please bring Malia by sometime?"

"Will do." Despite him saying it, and at that moment truly meaning it, they both knew he wouldn't. "Happy Thanksgiving, Dee-Dee."

"You too, Chris."

Her smile slowly crumbles as she watches her brother walk away from her and out the main entrance.

She had loved this Holiday as a kid. She loved being around all her family and getting to see her siblings, but the older she got the more disappointed she became with them all. How many let-downs could one handle?

_"Did Christopher just leave?" _

She doesn't need to look over her shoulder to know who was there, "Yeah."

"He couldn't even say goodbye to your grandmother?" David scoffs, anger still very clear in his eyes, "Why don't you come play something for us on the piano? Show us what all those years of lessons got us?" He drapes an arm around his granddaughter to walk alongside her, but she doesn't budge.

"Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you."

David looks surprised but says nothing as he waits for her to continue.

"Why did you lie about Mary and Lorraine coming today?"

"What? I must have misunderstood. I didn't think they were coming."

His tone is extremely dismissive and usually, Odette would let it go but this had been bothering her all day, "No, Pops. You knew they were coming, you just didn't want my mother here. Tell me the truth."

"First your brother, now you! What is this? Harass the old man day?" David throws his arms up in exasperation, "No, no I did not want your mother here. She's a drunk, kiddo. She would have embarrassed you in front of everyone."

Odette could feel her eyes begin to water, "No more than what all of you did today." She begins to walk away but before she does she turns back to face him, "My mother may be a drunk but no one is perfect. I know you want us to be, but we're not. And you aren't either Pops." As one of the stewards passes them by Odette calls for his attention, "Please gather mine and my little sister's bags, we're going home."

"You're leaving already? You're supposed to stay the whole weekend." David follows Odette as she carries on through the hall, "You don't have to leave."

"I know, I want too." She nods curtly to the older man before peering into the living room, "Cort, come on we're leaving!"

Cortney looks caught off guard by this announcement but gets up nonetheless.

"Hey, wait up." J.D walks towards Odette with a perplexed expression, "I thought you were staying the weekend?"

"Plans change. I want to go home and see our mother." Standing on her tip-toes, Odette peers over fathers shoulder, "Happy Thanksgiving everyone!"

They all respond the same, offering her their farewells.

As both girls are brought their luggage Odette focuses back on her father and grandfather, "I guess we'll see you when you get back to the city?"

"Your driver left hours ago how do you expect to get back?"

It was intimidation posed as a question and Odette was having none of it, "Right, but you have drivers here that are ready to go and can take us, right Pops?"

David says nothing, his previous smugness completely wiped away as he gestures to one of the stewards.

"Pops?" Odette reaches out, taking his hand, "You know I love you very much. I just want to go home."

It takes him a moment to respond and his tone is that of defeat, "I love you too, kid. Let me know when you've made it back to the city."

All she can do is nod.

There was nothing left to say at this point.

Giving her dad one last side hug she leaves out the door and never looks back, even when she can feel her grandfather's eyes on her every move.

As she climbs into the back of her grandparents Cadillac her phone buzzes, alerting her of a new notification.

_**To: Odette**_

_**From: Nate**_

_**I'd say you win but with families as screwed up as ours no one wins. At least we can be losers together tho lol. Happy Thanksgiving**_

There was nothing outright special about his response but for whatever reason it did bring her a sense of comfort that she was in serious need of.

But, before she got too settled she had another problem she needed to handle, "Alright Cort, it's time for you and me to have the talk we've both been avoiding."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes."

* * *

The drive into Manhattan wasn't nearly as brutal as the drive out of it that morning, but the drive had been long enough to give the two sisters time to talk about the Chuck situation.

Cortney confessed to her big set up and apologized for perpetuating the rumor about her sleeping with Chuck. She seemed incredibly sincere and remorseful, which made it difficult for Odette to stay mad at her. It was a really awful thing to do but Cort had assured her that she paid the price. Odette wasn't entirely sure what that meant but something about her eyes, the way they were pleading with her, made her accept what she was saying was true.

On one hand, it felt like a huge weight off her shoulder but on the other, she couldn't help but mentally curse the fact she had blown things with Chuck so terribly.

_"You're the one that assumed something happened, I never said it did. To you." _

Odette follows behind Cortney as they walk through their foyer, "Um, I assumed that because you planted underwear there for me to find!"

Cort stops in her tracks, a light bulb going off in her head, "Intention is not the point. You found an article of clothing and assumed the worst. Kind of like how you said Blair did when she found Nate's hoodie under your bed?"

"Wow..." Odette is stunned by this correlation, mainly by the fact Coco was able to connect those dots and draw the comparison before she could herself. "I'm an asshole."

"We both are." Cort loops her arm with Odette's, "But look at the stock we come from. The cards have been stacked against us from day one. However, I will say that I feel bad that Chuck was left as collateral damage in all this."

Odette's face falls as she realized Cort has made another excellent point. This entire fight with Blair she had felt so victimized. She had felt like she was being punished for something she hadn't done and the entire time she was giving Chuck the cold shoulder and essentially doing the same to him.

Before she can respond their mother comes out of the kitchen, clad in a skimpy silk nightgown. She was holding two bottles of wine in one hand and whip cream in another. She was humming to herself but once she caught sight of her daughters she let out a loud scream.

"что ты здесь делаешь!?" Anika attempts to cover herself up but her efforts were useless.

"What are we doing here?" Cort repeats her mother's question, "We live here, remember?"

"I know that but I wasn't expecting you back till Sunday. I'm sorry, I brought home a friend..."

All three of them look up at the Juliet balcony as if expecting Anika's _friend _to appear out of thin air.

"Didn't we tell you to stop bringing home strays?"

A shudder runs down Cort's spine as the prospect of having to hear her mother have sex the rest of the night dawns on her. It wouldn't be a first but that was one of those things that never got less horrifying.

"Where did you meet a friend?"

"At Bart's." Anika plays coy, tucking a single strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Bart's? As in Bart Bass?" Odette tilts her head in confusion, "What were you doing there?"

"Elyse was invited and she brought me along. We had a great time! I just got home."

_"And lucky for you, the great time continues."_

All three women look up at the Juliet balcony to see a man, possibly in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, sporting only a towel around his waist.

With a small nod and a smirk that was all too familiar to Odette he introduces himself, "I'm Jack Bass."

_'Bass. Of course.'_

Both girls were completely stunned but offered waves to him nonetheless.

"Jack, I'll be right up." Anika calls up to him before showing him all the goodies she was bringing back with her.

"Well, don't take too long. Count Alexei doesn't like to be left waiting. сперма, сперма!"

Just as quickly as he appeared, Jack was gone again.

"So..._so_ gross." Cort shuts her eyes hoping to erase the image of her mother and that man, but the mental picture only got worse behind closed eyelids.

"He does realize he just said.._sperm... twice_?" Odette shakes her head, feeling a mix of astonishment and disgust.

"Well, I think he meant to say come but wrong context. That's the only use he's heard for it so far, we're still early in our Russian lesson."

Odette's eyes go wide, "Okay, I'm super done with this conversation. Happy Thanksgiving, Mother."

"Wait, Dee?" Anika hurries after her eldest daughter before she can take off up the stairs, "Chuck asked about you at dinner. He seemed disappointed you weren't with me."

"He did?" At this mention of Chuck Odette can feel her heart twinge. She had been angry with him for far too long and over something that wasn't even real. She missed him, she had _been_ missing him.

"You know, I didn't get the chance to eat the pie you left for me but maybe Chuck would enjoy it?"

"I don't know, I don't think it's that simple."

"Your life isn't a show on the CW, it doesn't have to be so dramatic." Cort rolls her eyes, lovingly nudging her sister as she passes her on the stairs, "Take him the freakin' pie and make up!"

"Are you going to be fine here by yourself?"

Cort had practically been joined at the hip with her for the past week and a half and she didn't want to leave her during a vulnerable time.

"Odette, seriously, go. I'll be fine. Dottie and I are going to finish that series I was telling you about. But first, I'm burning my copy of Anna Karenina because I'll never be able to look at Count Alexei the same."

"Yeah, you can throw mine in with yours."

Anika waves both of her daughters off, completely disregarding their valid disgust, and heads back to her room where her nighttime play-thing was waiting for her.

"Best of luck to you dealing with that." Odette nods her head in the direction of their mother's room.

Cort follows her stare but then looks back at her, "Yeah well, good luck to you too."

"Thanks."

She was going to need it.

* * *

No one liked to have to admit they were wrong. It required you to swallow your pride and this was difficult for a lot of people, Odette included.

But she did it. She rode up the elevator to the Bass's penthouse, tail between her legs and a freshly warmed up pie in hand. With each step she took down the long hallway to their front door her nerves grew by ten.

She was at two-hundred by the time she knocked at the door. Someone answered quickly, holding the door open but not allowing her entry.

"The dinner is long over, mam." The housekeeper didn't recognize her, of course. Why would she? Chuck didn't live here anymore so therefore Odette had never stepped foot in this home or been around the people that worked here.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm here to see Chuck, actually."

The older woman didn't seem at all impressed or pleased by this. But nonetheless, she turned and walked off to find him.

Odette stayed in the hallway but since the door had been left open she could hear the woman say, _'Mr. Chuck, a girl is asking for you.' _

Shortly after that Chuck comes around the corner and stands in the doorway looking very confused, "What are you doing here?"

"Happy Thanksgiving." Odette chews on her inner lip, waiting to see if he responds.

He doesn't.

"I brought you a pie," Odette tilts the porcelain dish forward so that he can see the contents, "You know, cherry pie since you popped my sisters cherry and all..."

At the mention of that ridiculous rumor Chuck rolls his eyes, "I didn't-"

"I know." Odette quickly clarifies, stepping closer to him, "That's why I'm here. I owe you an apology. I've been in turmoil over being accused of something I didn't do and all along I was treating you just the same. I'm really sorry, and I understand if things can't go back but I wanted you to know how I feel."

Chuck stood in place, staring down at his feet and not saying anything for what felt like a long time to Odette. But once he looked back up at her, the corner of his lips were turned up into a barely-there smile, "Well, I'm not going to turn down the chance to taste _your_ cherry pie." The innuendo was obvious and while usually she'd be annoyed with such lewd comments from him at this moment she knew that was his way of telling her, _'we're good.'_

"We can eat the pie back at my place," Chuck offers, "I have to tell you about my uncle and your mother."

"No, I have to tell _you_ about your uncle and my mother." Odette covers her mouth as she begins to laugh at the image of Jack Bass standing there in a towel all over again.

Chuck goes to wrap his arm around her shoulder and guide her out of the apartment, but before he can they're interrupted.

_"Charles, you're leaving?" _

Both teenagers turn back around and are met with a critical gaze from Bart Bass.

Bart was seen as an extremely intimidating man to just about all their peers. He was a ruthless and cunning businessman that many admired and also hated. Odette had grown up with a family filled with men just like Bart though and therefore wasn't nearly as spooked by him as the others.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Bass. I'm sorry for dropping in so late, I just got back from upstate and wanted to bring Chuck some pie."

"I see," Bart squints his eyes as if to study them, "Happy Thanksgiving to you as well, Odette."

Bart didn't know a whole lot about Odette but he had overheard J.D bragging about the fact she was taking advanced classes with plans to graduate early. That was exactly the kind of girl Bart wouldn't expect his son to go for and that's because that's exactly the kind of girl he'd want him with.

He had only ever seen Chuck with promiscuous, drug-ridden, girls, but if a girl from such a respectable family was giving him the time of day it was possible Chuck wasn't as much of a lost cause as he had thought. "What kind of pie is that?"

"Cherry." Both Chuck and Odette answer him in perfect unison.

Hearing this, Bart's facial features soften, "That was Chuck's mother's favorite. I don't think I've had it since before she passed."

Chuck hadn't either, but that felt like something too personal to be admitting. His mother would always be an incredibly sensitive subject for him. Usually, she was for his father too which made it even more surprising that he was openly acknowledging her in front of Odette.

"I don't want to force anything on either of you, but if you'd like to, we could cut into the pie now?" Odette looks between the two Bass men, slightly holding up the dish and waving it in front of them as if it would help them consider.

"No, my father has had to entertain people all day. I'm sure he's tired." Chuck stares at Odettly briefly, softly shaking his head. He hoped she wouldn't push it further because he was certain his father had already hit the quota in regards to how much time he would spend with him in a single day.

"I'm fine. If you two have plans I don't want to keep you but if not I wouldn't be opposed to trying it out."

Once she's received this confirmation from Bart, Odette's entire face lights up as she walks towards him, "Great! I really think you'll love it, Mr. Bass. I make the whole thing from scratch."

Watching his father walk alongside Odette towards their dining room table, Chuck felt extremely skeptical. It was rare he saw this softer-side of Bart and he wasn't sure what had brought it out of him. He followed behind them, but at a slower rate, and stayed silent as he listened to them go back and forth.

Odette had been detailing the way she prepared the dough for her crust which had launched Bart into a story about the time Evelyn had tried to make her own pie from scratch and almost burned their home down. As he told the story Bart began to laugh, and not a forced chuckle, but a deep laugh that emits from the pit of your stomach; fully genuine.

Chuck's eyebrows shot up in surprise. It had been way too long since he last heard his dad laugh and Odette had managed to do it without even trying.

Bart never liked to talk about Evelyn, not even on her birthday or the anniversary of her death, and yet here was talking about her in front of a relative stranger. It was the oddest thing to Chuck, but he also couldn't complain because it made him feel good to hear Bart acknowledge her and the life they once had.

In an effort to protect his son from the extreme grief that followed her suicide, Bart had packed all memories of Evelyn up, literally and metaphorically. He had locked it all away and thrown out the key. He did this to try to help Chuck cope but it in turn had done the opposite. Chuck still felt that he never properly grieved his mother and the older he got the more her memory faded. In a lot of ways, it felt like Bart wanted to make it like she never existed at all. At least, that's how Chuck was made to feel all these years. So, in a way, hearing his mother's name leave his father's lips after all this time made him feel like he actually had something to be thankful for this year.

"This pie is really best with vanilla ice cream. I didn't even think about bringing any with me." Odette sulked at this obvious lapse in her planning.

"I have some in the freezer, Charles can you get it?" Bart's eyes flickered to his son momentarily before settling back on Odette as she cuts him a thick slice, plating it before serving him, "Thank you. So, you attend Constance, right?. Are you involved in any clubs or sports there?"

"Yes sir, I play varsity soccer. I also write for St. Judes and Constance's shared newspaper and I was involved in Model UN last year but I'm not so sure I want to do it again this year. I think that'll be a lot what with everything else in my schedule."

Bart was liking her more and more by the minute, "Impressive. Chuck used to play soccer, did you know that?"

"I didn't actually." She wouldn't say it in front of his father, _obviously_, but the only physical activity she knew Chuck got was in the bedroom.

"Yeah, he started when he was young but he quit last year." Bart's tone is slightly bitter, "I suppose it was never much of a passion for him. We're both much more interested in hockey."

"Oh, you play?" Odette jokes, serving herself and Chuck a piece as well.

"No," Bart cracks a very faint smile at the thought, "But we love to watch. We haven't been to a game in a long time though."

"You should go." She says it as if it's the most obvious and simple answer in the world. It should be, but it never felt that way. It never felt that simple. "In fact, I know my grandfather is a club ticketholder for pretty much everything at Madison Square Garden. Not that you can't afford your own tickets, but he does have great seats up in the skybox if you ever wanted to go?"

"I think I might just have to take you up on that offer."

"I think you should." Odette nods in agreement before taking a bite of the pie. "Mm, I may be biased but this pie is _so_ good."

Bart follows her lead and takes a bite as well. As soon as the cherry bursts in his mouth he feels almost transported back to another time, "Our first date was at this twenty-four-hour diner in Brooklyn. They had the most incredible pies. Evie loved them, craved them almost every day when she was pregnant with Chuck." As he realizes what he's said Bart straightens up his posture and clears his throat in an attempt to regain himself, "Charles, having trouble?" How hard was it to find ice cream in an almost entirely empty freezer?

From the other room, Chuck calls back, "Just a second!"

In the kitchen, the vanilla ice cream pint is sitting on top of the marble counter. The ice on the lid is starting to drip as it adjusts to room temperature and begins to defrost. Although this was the only thing Chuck had come into the kitchen for it was now the furthest thing from his mind.

He could hear his father and Odette laughing and socializing in the adjacent room but all he could focus on was the text that had just popped up on his phone. He had read it over six times.

_**To: Chuck **_

_**From: Blair**_

_**FYI, Serena knows we slept together. She heard us at my party apparently. I swore her to secrecy but **_

_**just thought you should be aware. No one else needs to know though, agreed? **_

"Fuck."

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_Alright, there we have it! I don't know if this chapter will feel massive from a reader's point, but writing and editing it has taken a serious toll on me. Nonetheless, I truly hope you were all able to enjoy this chapter even though there wasn't necessarily a whole lot going on. This chapter was very essential to developing Odette and Coco further as well as close some plotlines that have been ongoing, just to turn around and open up a few more lol. _

_I'm sure some of you are very surprised by the Chuck/Blair reveal at the end. From the beginning, I knew this was one canon plotline I didn't want to skip over. The start to 'Chair' in 1x08 was such a big moment for the series and there were so many plotlines in the later half of season one that stemmed from that first initial hook-up. I think it's a shame when OC writers completely ignore major plotlines for the sake of pushing their own character/ship so instead of ignoring it I wanted to approach it like, 'well, how differently would it have played out if Odette was canon'. And we shall see..._

_There was obviously some heavy content featured in this chapter and I really hope I didn't offend anyone with Coco's sexual assault scene. Rape culture is a real thing, unfortunately, and as a victim myself I always feel drawn to explore that some in my writing. The show did such a disservice having so many instances of assault but never really following through with the after-effects or repercussions and healing processes and I think that's irresponsible storytelling. The show always relied on over the top storylines and got super campy the longer it was on, and I enjoy that to a degree but I also think there are plenty of real-life situations that can be covered as well and be just as dramatic and thrilling. From the start, that's what this story was always meant to be; a more realistic dive into this unrealistic world. I wanted to focus less on outrageous schemes and takedowns and shine more of a light on the wonderful(and terrible) things that every day people go through and experience. _

_On a lighter note, I've massively updated this story's insta page and have the whole Rockefeller family profiles up, as well as Jordan and Alyssa. And last, but certainly not least, Ms. Mackenzie Humphrey (she's not *my* character but she's gorgeous and you need to see for yourselves!) I'm someone that really loves to have a face to match with a character I'm reading about so if you're curious what this dysfunctional Brady-Bunch looks like head over to **gilded . ff** (no spaces). I also would appreciate you going to check it out because I'm a psycho about 'casting' and spent a lot of time finding actors that had similar enough features to truly look like they could be related. I'm talking down to face shape, eye size, nose structure, etc. Truly, truly, psychotic lol. _

_Thank you, once again, to everyone out there that gives this story a chance. Please don't give up on me, I have so much in store for this story and can't wait to see what you think of it all xo_


	11. chapter ten

_Wow, the feedback I received from this last update was absolutely everything. I was so nervous for the last chapter and I worried readers wouldn't like it or might be bored(since there wasn't a ton of canon-character content) but so far that has been my highest-reviewed chapter yet! So, thank you to everyone who took the time to leave me their thoughts. If I could send every single one of you a handwritten card to show my appreciation, I would. I love this character and write this story because I want to but other people enjoying it (and letting me know they do) makes the entire process so much more rewarding. Reviews might not seem like much but they really do mean a lot to writers. I value anyone that gives this story a chance and reads/keeps up with it, but for those that go that extra mile and take the time to leave me a review - thank you so much. It sounds silly, but hearing your thoughts and opinions on these characters and the plots really does help keep me inspired._

_I'm honestly in awe of the number of reviews, follows, and favorites you have all blessed me with over the course of this story so far. This is update is the tenth *official* chapter, and eleventh overall (technically the first chapter was just a prologue) and I really didn't anticipate much traction to the story since 1) GG is a sort of dead fandom and 2) this is an OC-centric story, but you have all left me pleasantly surprised. So, thank you! _

_Now, having said that, I owe every reader the most genuine of apologies. I haven't updated since July 8th... how did I let that much time pass? I am so sorry everyone and I sincerely hope you guys haven't given up on me or this story in my absence because I truly have such big plans and I really want you all around to watch it play out. There might be times that my updates aren't super consistent or regular but I promise to try my best to not go this long without updating again. _

_I'm almost ready to wrap this up - bear with me! I have uploaded some **new content** to the gilded insta page (**gilded . ff**) and would really love and appreciate it if you guys went to check it out. Mainly, I have a promo video for the next chapter that I'm *super* excited about. I definitely was inspired and tried to pay homage to the classic season one GG episode promos and I'm super proud of how it turned out, so please...please go look! I also posted a snippet of a Nate/Blair video that I hope will help to kind of, humanize Blair some more. I empathize with her character and never would want people to think I'm over-vilifying her to lift my own character up... if that makes sense? _

_Lastly, a dedication to **S** ('greyspaces', duh) I never would have gotten the courage to post this story if it weren't for you, let alone made it this far. You are a constant inspiration to me and I have so much love and respect for you and your talent. Thank you for always being my sounding board and biggest hype girl lol. This chapter is dedicated to you (yes, again) and you'll see why. _

* * *

**WARNING:**

**SEXUAL SITUATIONS, SEMI-GRAPHIC SEX SCENES, ****VULGAR LANGUAGE, TEENAGE ALCOHOL ****USE**

**WARNINGS WILL BE AT THE START OF ALL CHAPTERS.**

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All rights to _'Gossip Girl'_; plots and characters belong to the author Cecily Von Ziegesar as well as TV Producers Josh Schwartz & Stephanie Savage. I only claim ownership of my original characters. And while they are part of the Rockefeller family, and mentions to the families infamy and status will be made, any mentions of them are purely fictional and none of the characters that comprise the family are based on the true-life family.

* * *

_"Blair liked to think of herself as a hopeless romantic in the style of old movie actresses like Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. She was always coming up with plot devices for the movie she was starring in at the moment, the movie that was her life."_

* * *

_November 14th (10:30 p.m.)_

* * *

Blair Waldorf had been obsessed with classic Hollywood cinema since she was a child.

Harold Waldorf had shown her _'Breakfast at Tiffany's'_ for the first time when she was just five years old and despite not understanding most of the mature themes she was immediately fascinated by Audrey Hepburn's on-screen presence and became swept away by the glamour and romance that was at the forefront of all the great movies of this time.

The content of these movies was, in most cases, far beyond her maturity-level but that never stopped Blair from trying her best to emulate them.

Some of her earliest memories were of her stomping around in Eleanor's oversized heels, long pearls hanging from her neck as she would reenact some of the iconic scenes from Tiffanys, Casablanca, It Happened One Night, and of course, Roman Holiday. Her imagination ran wild and she had a ball escaping to her make-believe worlds. She could play her own leading lady and imagine her handsome leading man so easily and playing pretend became her absolute favorite thing to do.

Once she played out a specific movie too much and found herself growing bored, she'd find yet another new movie to introduce herself too and would be swept away all over again, but as she got older she grew tired of playing pretend. She wanted an actual leading man to take center stage in her life, _a la_ George Peppard or Carey Grant.

And it just so happened that Nate Archibald fit the bill.

Nate had always been a cute kid, but as puberty hit and he grew into a young man he became devastatingly handsome in the exact way that old Hollywood actors were. Blair knew this would be the case and had snagged onto Nate at a fairly young age. He was everything her younger-self had hoped and wished for and she thought for sure her days of playing out movies in her head were far beyond her. She didn't need to pretend, her life _was_ a movie now. She was popular, pretty, rich, and had the most _beautiful_ boy on the Upper East Side to call hers.

Her life had all the trappings to be completely perfect...

But it wasn't.

She was _'popular'_, but also massively hated by almost every one of her peers. No one would admit to it but she wasn't dumb and she knew they all secretly relished in the thought of taking her down.

By all accounts, Blair was a pretty girl, but growing up slightly chubbier than other girls and with a mother that expected perfection definitely gave her a complex. She was pretty, but she never felt the _prettiest_.

She had money but so did everyone else around her, and in most regards, they had far more. Howard had a successful law firm in Manhattan, but he shut it all down to move to Paris and open a vineyard with his gay lover. Eleanor made great money with her fashion line and she was growing more success and notoriety every year, but that didn't change the fact that she was new money and their annual income was nothing compared to the decades of old money wealth that surrounded them.

And her charming boyfriend, with near-perfect looks, cheated on her. _Constantly_.

Blair wasn't completely unaware though, she knew her life wasn't perfect but she refused to let anyone else be privy to that information. She refused to believe she was lesser than anyone else and in doing so had given herself this false-sense of being superior to many. It was a defense mechanism that had become as much a part of who she was as being a lover of classic films.

Most of her friends and family found it completely boring that she only ever watched the same movies on a loop but Blair loved it because they gave her a sense of security that she was otherwise lacking. In movies there was always a clear beginning, middle, and end; if she knew all these points she could never be stressed, or upset or disappointed by how they played out. Unlike her life where she felt incredibly disappointed, if not devastated, by most things currently playing out.

As her life went up in flames around her she craved that amount of predictability more and more.

Before long she was back to behaving like that five-year-old girl, modeling her life after movies and playing them out in her head. Except now there was no separation of her real-life from her make-believe one. Her everyday life was a movie where she controlled the narrative and that made her feel much more at ease because in her movie she _was_ the most beautiful starring-lady, Nate was a loyal leading-man, and everyone loved and worshiped her like Hepburn and Monroe.

But trying to live your real life as an old Hollywood film could really only go so far and in what felt like a blink of an eye _her_ _movie_ had gone from golden age cinema to an XXX film...

The stench of whiskey surrounds her as Chuck mutters expletives under his breath. His head was buried into the nape of her neck and each of his arms were resting firmly on either side of her head. In the_ passion_ of it all, some strands of her chestnut hair had come loose from her, formerly, elaborate updo and were now trapped under his elbow. With every thrust into her, his elbow slides, yanking at small pieces of her hair.

Normally this would be a major annoyance to Blair but at this moment she didn't care. The irritation of her scalp was the furthest thing from her mind.

Nate was cheating on her again _and_ had blown off her birthday party. Everyone was gossiping about the state of their relationship and it felt like her life was over as she knew it, but instead of being sad, like all the times before, she was angry and she wanted to get even.

She had been hurt by Nate far too many times and never did anything about it. He hooked up with, not one but, two of her best friends and he had pushed her too far this time. Here's to hoping he'd feel even an inkling of the hurt he brought on her when he found out she did the same with Chuck.

As for Odette... as far as Blair was concerned, she could rot.

But before that, Blair would assure that she understood _true_ heartbreak.

She wasn't sure if Odette loved Chuck, she certainly couldn't in the way that Blair loved Nate, but she definitely had feelings for him. She had admitted as much.

_' "I have real feelings for Chuck." ' _

And that was Odette's mistake because she should know better than to show her weakness and for whatever bizarre reason, Chuck Bass seemed to be hers.

Blair was almost giddy at the thought of seeing her face fall once she heard the news. In fact, she almost wished Nate and Odette could be here right now to witness the tryst for themselves.

To want to see people in pain was obviously terrible but they had made _her_ feel terrible _first_ and now she was out for vengeance and blood and, at the moment, this was the only way she knew how.

As twisted as it was, imagining the hurt behind both of their eyes only turned her on more.

That and Chuck really _did_ know what he was doing.

His reputation typically disgusted Blair but it was clear all that experience had made him incredibly gifted in bed. Minus the hair pulling, everything else felt so..._right_.

She didn't have much of anything to base it off of, of course, but she knew she had never felt this good.

She and Nate didn't mess around often, mostly due to her own discomfort, but in the times they had she never fully enjoyed it. The way his long fingers fumbled around inside her, hurt, and that alone had made the prospect of having sex intimidating. However, despite being obviously bigger than two fingers, Chuck didn't hurt. In fact, it felt like he filled her up _perfectly_.

From the getgo, their bodies just seemed to work together in wonderful, sexual, harmony.

Their sexual chemistry was through the roof; a mixture of mutual hate for each other, hate for Nate and Odette, and unadulterated lust.

Despite this being her first sexual encounter, of this caliber, Chuck brought something out of Blair she had never expected.

Confidence.

Being with him, as disturbing as it was, made her feel good. Suddenly she could understand how Chuck got so many women into his bed. His intentions may not always, if ever, be genuine but he had a way of making someone feel..._worshiped_.

Even after the bulimia had brought her weight down Blair had still never felt fully confident with her body. Now here she was completely naked underneath him, with the lights on, and she really felt she could get drunk - well, _drunker, _off the feeling of his eyes probing her figure so appreciatively.

She knew he looked at her the same way he had looked at the many before and that nothing about this was loving or sincere on his part but for a little bit she could pretend.

Chuck had no romantic feelings for her but the way he was bedding her felt romantic, at least in her own mind. She was easily mistaking lust for love, but she didn't care.

She had never expected herself to be a sexual being but he definitely made her want to be one. Despite previously finding the concept of oral disgusting she had absolutely no qualms about going down on Chuck and had done exactly that to get all this started in the first place. She didn't necessarily _love_ giving head but she did feel a certain sort of high off knowing she was getting him off.

As she went down on him she did notice he wasn't as well endowed as Nate and that had made her initially nervous, but as they had carried on he had more than proven that with his skill level he didn't need to be.

In the movie that was her life, Blair had always imagined Nate as her leading man but maybe that part could be just as easily filled by Chuck...

It was a bit ridiculous to think but stranger things _had_ happened.

And she would be lying if she didn't say that the prospect of getting bedded this good all the time wasn't tempting.

...in reality, she knew Chuck and her would never happen but being caught up by the extreme feelings of desire had her imagining all types of possibilities for them.

_Chuck and Blair holding hands._

_Chuck and Blair going to the movies. _

_Chuck and Blair having sex all the time._

Laying a gentle hand against his bare, slightly sweaty chest, Blair pushes him up. Caught off guard by this sudden movement, he looks at her with confusion in his eyes but before he can say anything she forces him on his back and begins to straddle him. Biting down on her lower lip she lowers herself onto him, knocking her head back as she feels their bodies connect once more.

_"Fuck, you feel amazing."_

Hearing that only brought her closer to the edge.

All she had been hearing lately was what a prude she was and how _vanilla_ she seemed and despite her best efforts Nate never seemed to want to actually sleep with her, probably because he thought she would be bad at it or _boring_. Yet here she was, screwing Chuck Bass, making him groan and curse as she rides him to completion and all she wanted to do was yell a huge _'fuck you'_ to those that had brought her to this point.

The more she thinks about it the more she can feel something within her start to build. The devastation and boiling anger that had been residing in her for so long was being overrun by the excitement of knowing that now she was _finally_ getting back at them all.

Karma was a bitch but Blair Waldorf was a bigger one and they needed to not forget that.

Chuck grips her waist, controlling their movements and allowing their bodies to meet at a more rapid pace. Her lips tremble as her hips begin to buck against him as if to say, _'more, more, more'_.

Suddenly, and completely involuntarily, the sensation of a deep vibration rumbles from deep in her core and shoots out across her body; spreading down to every toe and up through every finger. In that moment all of her senses are heightened and a tumultuous moan pours out of her once her body begins to pulsate with him still inside her.

The intensity of it all momentarily takes her breath away.

"What the hell was that?" She pants, unable to make eye contact as she instead looks down in horror to where they're still currently connected. Had she...peed on him? She obviously knew she couldn't have but this particular feeling felt so foreign to her that she wasn't sure what else to assume.

Chuck looks up at her with a devilish smirk, "Well, well, Waldorf... didn't think you had it in you."

_She had lost her virginity to Chuck Bass._

Despite previously feeling so empowered Blair could instantly feel her stomach sinking as the shame quickly took over.

_What was she thinking?_

Chuck was no Peppard or Grant and she deserved better for her first time. Regardless of how good he made her feel he was still a man-whore and she could feel the bile in her throat beginning to rise as she realizes what she's done. Or rather, _whom_.

Climbing off of him, Blair fumbles to get her bra back in place hoping to get out of this room as quickly as possible before she bursts into giant _oscar-worthy_ tears.

As she works to re-hook the metal latches Chuck waves a hand in front of her face to get her attention, "Look, I'm a gentleman so I always let the women finish first but typically they return the favor?"

"Oh, right." Blair was never one to be so..._obliging_, but this entire encounter now had her feeling incredibly embarrassed and she really just wanted to get all this over with, "What do you want me to do?"

* * *

_December _

* * *

Christmas time in New York was possibly the greatest time to live in the city. Twinkling lights, white-_ish_ snow, and people were genuinely nicer than normal due to the Christmas spirit.

There was only one major event in the city that officially kicked off the Christmas season - the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center.

The tree lighting was an annual tradition that had been going on since the early nineteen-thirties and had stayed a prevalent part of the city _culture_ over the years. The event was so huge and so decadent that once the night passed, planning for the following year started the very next day. The Rockefeller family spent months debating and deciding on the perfect, most robust, tree.

The only specifications were that it had to be a Norway spruce and it had to be huge; sixty-nine to one-hundred feet tall to be exact.

Though it was only a tree, it meant a lot to people - _apparently_.

Thousands showed up in person and millions watched from home as it was ceremoniously lit year after year. Upwards of one-hundred million came from all over to view the illustrious Christmas tree in the short amount of time it stood proud on display at the plaza between West 48th and 51st Streets and Fifth and Sixth Avenue. For most people, the big event started at 7 and consisted of a holiday-themed concert with various performers and a countdown to the big _todo. _For those that couldn't make it, the entire festivities were of course broadcasted across every major station. But, those who mattered in New York society secured themselves a golden ticket to David Rockefeller's private banquet on the sixty-fifth floor.

The historic, and the glamorous, rainbow room _reeked_ of wealth and prestige which David loved for the fact he felt it symbolized himself and his family perfectly. Or, at least the image they wanted everyone to perceive of them.

The event space was famous amongst the New York elite and boasted fine dining, exceptional mood lighting, and a rotating dance floor. Only one-hundred and twenty of David's closest friends and colleagues were given invites to the annual party. But he also allotted a fair amount of extra spots for his various family members and their friends and dates.

This was precisely why all of Odette and Coco's friends had scored their own personal invites to the most exclusive event of the holiday season.

Blair looked around the party in discreet awe. She was impressed but was also never one to outright show it.

"Here," Leaning over Blair's left shoulder, Nate sits a plate of food in front of her, "Eat something." his whisper is gentle as he pulls out the chair next to her and takes his place at the round dining table with their friends.

Nate wasn't always very aware of the happenings around him but he had started to notice that lately Blair was looking a bit thinner in the cheeks than usual and would basically only pick at her food from time to time. He had been with her through enough to recognize these signs and it was abundantly clear to him that her disordered eating had returned. He wasn't sure what had brought it back on but he knew from previous experiences that he needed to help her get a hold on the situation sooner, rather than later.

Blair offers Nate a sweet smile but as she looks down at her plate of food she can feel a lump in her throat. She wasn't hungry. Not because she felt she shouldn't be but because she truly wasn't. She was a ball of stress and having to stomach the guilt of her hook up with Chuck had killed her appetite, permanently it seemed. She can feel Nate's eyes on her though, watching her and waiting for her to take a bite. Picking up her fork she stabs an already cut piece of roasted carrot and brings it to her mouth. With every small chew, she can feel the bile in her throat begin to rise.

"Where's Odette? Or Chuck, even?" Serena shifts from searching one side of the room to the other, and back again, as she frantically scans the room.

Bearing the sole weight of knowing what happened between Chuck and Blair had turned Serena into a bundle of nerves. Her loyalty was with Blair, always, but she did feel guilty having to be around Nate and Odette and act like everything was okay. Nate was somewhat more bearable, he hadn't exactly been _'boyfriend of the year'_ to Blair and so she had a harder time feeling bad for him, but being around Odette was... _brutal_.

Serena's way of dealing with her problems was to run away and avoid them but she was a different version of herself now and Serena 2.0 didn't do that.

That didn't make any of this any easier though.

In preparation for tonight, she had spent most of the evening going over different conversation scenarios in her head. She wasn't usually one to feel the need to prepare for social interactions but she knew she was extremely facially expressive and she was worried that at any moment Odette might sense that look of pity in her eyes and know something was wrong. So, to avoid that entirely she had scripts, _plural_, planned out to keep the conversation as far away from the situation as possible. When she talked to Odette tonight, because she would have to at some point, they wouldn't talk about relationships, Blair, Chuck, sex, none of it, and once she got through the small conversation she would thank her for the invite and excuse herself to go meet Dan and his family downstairs at the tree lighting.

_'You've got this, Serena.'_

A mild shudder runs down her spine as she realizes she is now referring to herself in the third-person.

This whole thing was making her crazy and she couldn't help but curse the fact that she had been the one to catch them.

_'Blair had been a complete wreck once Gossip Girl dropped the Nate/Odette bomb. The entire party was buzzing with talks of 'did they or didn't they' and Blair had retreated into the bedroom at the farthest end of the hall to hide from the shame of it all. _

_Serena didn't immediately take off after her. _

_She knew Blair too well by this point and knew to give her the space to cool down and collect herself before she even tried to begin comforting her. _

**_To: Dan _**

**_From: Serena_**

**_Anyway, you can turn back and get me lol?_**

_As she waits for his response she takes a long drag from the cigarette she had bummed off of one of Nate's friends from Regis. Smoking was gross and so not her thing anymore but she desperately needed an excuse to stay outside, relatively alone, so that she wouldn't have to talk to anyone__._

_ All the girls wanted to dissect this most recent scandal and all it did was remind her of her own. _

_Nate had, supposedly, cheated on Blair once again with one of her best friends and now she needed some support, but how was Serena supposed to comfort Blair when she was guilty of the same betrayal? _

_There was still so much of her own indiscretion with Nate that she hadn't worked through. _

_It was strange because since she had returned her and Nate's thing felt so much like ancient history and yet situations like the one tonight quickly reminded her that all that history and those feelings were really just tucked away into a box and shoved into the depths of her subconscious in an attempt to not have to deal with it properly. _

_This wasn't about her, this was about Blair, but she still couldn't help feeling some type of way about it all. _

_When she had run away from Manhattan, and all the problems she created within it, she had closed off her heart to all the people she cared about that she was leaving behind. Especially Nate. In all cases, it was in an effort to protect herself but mainly to protect them from further pain caused by her. _

_'Hurricane Serena' wasn't just some nickname given to her by Gossip Girl once upon a time. She had earned that title due to her distinct ability to blow full force into the path of someone's life and mess everything up completely before moving onward, never caring about the destruction she left in her path. It was never intentional but at the end of the day, it didn't really matter what her intentions were when there were real people getting hurt. _

_Once Blair officially forgave her for her serious lapse in judgment they hadn't talked about the Nate situation again. _

_There had been so much Serena wanted to confide in her about, mainly so that she could finally feel freed of the extreme weight that steadily remained on her shoulders and heart. But to share her full truth was only to make herself feel better, it would do nothing for Blair. Besides, Blair never wanted to no the gritty details. It was easier for her to push thoughts of Nate's wrong-doings to the side if she didn't know everything. _

_Serena often wondered if maybe Blair felt like it wasn't real if she didn't know enough about it, like maybe if she didn't have to see it with her own eyes it was easier to pretend it never happened. _

_Her imagination could run wild but she could also typically shut those bad thoughts away. The physical proof was harder to block and forget... like a picture, for example. _

_Serena releases a deep breath that she had subconsciously been holding before tossing her cigarette off the side of the building. She watches as it tumbles down several levels, becoming a faint white spec before completely disappearing against the typical nighttime darkness. _

_The picture was innocent enough. It wasn't like the gossip girl tipster caught them screwing in an alleyway or anything, they were only hugging, but Gossip Girl also had a special way of adding insult to injury with her venomous words and constantly mocking tone. _

_Plus, Nate was pretty breathtaking and he alone brought a certain level of sex appeal to almost anything._

_ Basically, loving Nate Archibald was hardly for the faint of heart._

_ He was one of the most sought after guys in the entire Upper East Side and it was easy for even the most confident of girls to feel threatened when it came to him, and more importantly, how other girls would look at him - eye-fucking__ him was probably a better description of that. __Point was, girls loved Nate, girls wanted Nate and it would take a lot for anyone to feel completely secure in a relationship with him. This was especially true for Blair who was already so insecure as is. _

_So as innocent as the hug might have been in nature all that mattered was how it came across to everyone. _

_Currently, there were several girls at this very party secretly cursing Odette out for seemingly flying under the radar and snatching Nate for herself. _

_Serena, in all honesty, included. _

_She had been having a difficult time believing that anything was actually happening between the two of them. Sure, she had heard about Blair's previous suspicions but she had quickly blown it off. Once the Gossip Girl alert came through she was forced to face the possibility more directly. _

_Pulling her phone out once more Serena scrolls back to the most recent blast and studies the picture. Again. _

_Nate's arms rested against Odette's lower waist, clearly bringing her in closer to his own body..._

_His eyes were closed but she could tell he was smiling, at least faintly, by the familiar creasing around his eyes. _

_Odette's face was hidden against his chest, mainly because she was too short to be able to lay her head on his shoulder. _

_Their height difference actually looked a bit ridiculous._

_Serena quickly noted that, aesthetically, Nate and her fit together much better. She was tall, even without heels, and she knew that she could most definitely rest her head on his broad shoulders because she had done so in the past. _

_Narrowing her eyes as she continues to stare down at her phone, Serena's brows begin to furrow together in confusion. _

_Odette was so not his type? _

_Nate loved long, tan, legs. Hers mainly. He had told her as much, several times over the years._

_ Mostly when he was drunk._

_ But what was that old saying of drunk words being sober thoughts? _

_And she knew first-hand her drunk actions with him were definitely both of their sober desires. _

_Serena lets her screen fall asleep - waiting for it to go completely dark before tucking it away, even though she felt like she could stand here and study and pick apart that picture for hours. But this wasn't about her. She needed to go take care of Blair even if she had no idea how to make her feel better when she was also feeling pretty shitty about the entire situation. _

_As she walks across the crowded apartment towards the bedrooms she can hardly focus on what she's going to say when she joins Blair. She can hardly focus on anything in general as her stomach sinks further, and further, the more she realizes her hearts currently aching. Nate was Blair's boyfriend, why was she feeling so distraught? Well, she knew exactly why but she also realized she had no right to feel this way, but it didn't really change the fact she did. _

_She hardly had enough time to process the range of emotions she was currently experiencing before she reaches the bedroom at the farthest end of the hallway. Curling her first, she moves to knock on the door but before her fist fully commits to connecting with the white-wood surface she hears a muffled, masculine, voice. _

_Thoroughly confused Serena gently twists the doorknob and cracks the door open just enough to squeeze in. However, once her eyes settle on the scene playing out before her she feels her mouth drop in utter shock. _

_Chuck, with his back slightly to Serena, was taking Blair from behind. _

_His fingers were twisted tightly into Blair's chocolate curls, holding her head firmly against the mattress as he drilled himself into her, angrily and repeatedly. His roughness alarmed Serena and her first assumption was that she had obviously walked in on Chuck assaulting her best friend but before she could get too worked up over it she heard Blair's whimpers of pleasure. _

_Completely horrified, Serena instinctively brings both hands up to cover her eyes. This move saved her from the graphic sight of it all but did nothing to protect her from hearing Blair beg him to go harder._

_ So much for being vanilla... _

_Serena rushed out of the room as fast as she could, once again thankful for her long, tan, legs, and, in this instance, their ability to get her out of such a traumatizing situation that much quicker. Despite leaving in such a panic she still made a point of closing the door softly as if to not disturb them. Even though everything about what she had just seen deeply disturbed her. Possibly to the point of needing to seek professional help... _

_It was highly unlikely that she would ever be able to get the image of Chuck's bare ass out of her head._

_Moving to the opposite end of the hallway, Serena, completely frazzled, leans against the wall as if to catch her breath. _

_Her heart was pounding rapidly against her chest and despite wanting to think of anything but, she couldn't think of anything other than Chuck and Blair. _

_It didn't make sense. _

_They hated each other and mostly only tolerated one another because of Nate. How could this have happened? _

_How could her innocent Blair, that didn't even like to give Nate blow jobs, let Chuck Bass do those disgusting things to her? _

_Swallowing the gigantic lump that had built up in her throat Serena debates whether or not she needs to go throw up or drink more. Before she can fully commit to either option she sees the flash of someone's hands fly by in front of her face. _

_Pulled out of her horrified-trance Serena focuses in on the two familiar faces before her, "Oh my god! Sorry, I..." She couldn't finish the thought. How could she possibly explain this? Instead of trying to, she moves in to hug both Odette and Nate, "We weren't expecting you."'_

Despite her best efforts to present a cool front, Odette could definitely tell something was up with Serena that night and in an effort to explain her behavior Serena had made up a lame story about not hitting it off with Dan's sister. This wasn't a _complete_ lie but it also definitely wasn't why Serena was so on edge.

Odette had crystal-like eyes that pierced the soul and that night they seemed to see straight through Serena's facade. She might have not realized what Serena was covering up but she definitely knew there was more to the story than Humphrey family drama. That had been a huge reason why Serena had been doing just about all she could to avoid talking to Odette directly. She was worried, constantly, that she would give her a certain look or stare at Blair and Chuck too long and somehow Odette would catch it and find everything out.

_Chuck and Blair._

It was an ugly secret to have to keep but she definitely at least owed Blair that much. She had been such a shitty best friend on so many other fronts that it seemed the very least she could do now was help cover up Blair's dirty hookup. Even if it was slowly costing her her sanity.

"You're not hungry either, Serena?" Nate shifts his stare from the blonde down to her still filled plate, "The Beef Wellington is really good." He offers, knowing it's one of her favorite dishes.

"I'm getting dessert with Dan's family after the tree lighting so..." her voice trailed off as she saw Chuck and Odette enter the room from the opposite end of where they were all seated, "Uh, what was I saying?"

Following Serena's stare, Blair looks over her shoulder, "Something about dessert..."

"Yeah, love dessert. Excuse me." promptly standing up, Serena pushes her chair in before heading in the direction of Odette.

_'Stay cool, stay calm. Stay cool, stay calm.'_

Nate watches Serena walk away before turning back to Blair with an exhausted expression. His eyes were a slightly darker shade of green than usual due to his frustration at being so confused by everyone's behavior, "Is she alright?"

Blair was typically extremely animated, especially in social settings such as this, but today she truly didn't feel up to the task. Struggling with how to rationally explain Serena's odd behavior Blair instead only offers him a small shrug before stabbing another small piece of carrot.

"Are _you_ alright?"

Most people liked to peg Nate as a handsome face with no brains but it was obvious that even he was catching on to everyone's strange behavior. She would have to figure out how to turn her A-game back on moving forward. Sighing deeply Blair asks him, almost breathlessly like, "Will you dance with me?"

Nate's eyes flicker from Blair's dark doe-eyes to the slow-spinning dance floor. Only a few party-goers were currently dancing, mainly old couples, but one of the live performers this year was Michael Bublé and he was a personal favorite of Blair's.

She had even bought Nate one of his albums on vinyl the previous year. Nate wasn't that interested in the music but Blair and him had listened to it in entirety that same night, with the lights of his bedroom dimmed as the swayed together in place to the slower ballads.

This was a rare occasion and had been one of the few _truly_ intimate moments between them.

No talking, no arguing, no thinking even.

They moved so effortlessly in sync and Nate could remember wondering why it couldn't always be this _simple_ with them. How much easier things would be if they could...

Blair, as poised as she was at almost all times, had the curse of two left feet. She was by no means the most beautiful dancer and was usually very self-conscious when it came to having to dance in front of crowds without ample practice time being allotted. For her to be suggesting they dance now, in front of their friends and all these strangers, definitely struck Nate as odd but the sad look in her eyes made it hard for him to tell her no.

"Yeah, let's dance." Getting up from his seat next to her, he offers his hand to her with a small smile.

_He was so beautiful. _

Blair's stare drops from his own as she takes his hand. It was ridiculous but sometimes she felt almost unworthy of looking at him. Usually, because she felt so subpar in compassion but lately, and at this moment, it was due to the shame of what she had done.

She had royally fucked things and didn't have the slightest clue of how they were going to move forward.

As they reached the dance floor the previous song faded as the next one began. Recognizing the familiar intro Blair rests her head against Nate's shoulder, something she could only do in heels like the ones she was wearing tonight, "This one is my favorite."

"I know."

_'Home'_ had been a favorite of Blair's from the first moment she listened to it. Mainly because anytime she heard it all thoughts went to Nate. She felt the melancholy tone spoke to her constant desire of wanting to be close to her boyfriend but always feeling like there was something between them creating distance. Their lack of emotional intimacy, his cheating, her insecurity, Serena, and now, Chuck too.

**_"My words were cold and flat. And you deserve more than that"_**

Feeling tears begin to swell Blair shuts her eyes firmly to keep them from rolling down her cheeks. The last thing she needed was to make some big, emotional, scene.

Nate wasn't sure what exactly was going on with Blair but her sadness was all too familiar and he was fairly certain he was the cause. He wasn't sure what he had done this time but evidently, it was bad.

Squeezing her petite frame, he pulls her body closer to his own. For this moment he hoped everything could just disappear and things could be like that one night they danced in his room. No talking, no arguing, no thinking even.

"You're my home, Nate." Blair utters this in no more than a whisper. Her tone of voice is so soft and gentle that Nate decides to pretend he hasn't heard her.

Mainly because he didn't know what to say back.

_'I'm really not.'_

* * *

Chuck was one to always have something going on.

Him, Nate, and their core group of guy friends were usually hitting some of the city bars with their fake ID's, having drug and alcohol-fueled ragers at Chuck's suite, or even calmer nights in which they just played videogames and got ridiculously baked. Point was, they were always doing something. And Chuck preferred that because all of it was a great distraction and made it virtually impossible to be left alone, which he hated.

But lately, Chuck had been spending less and less time with the guys and instead choosing to occupy almost all of his free time with Odette.

The fact that he enjoyed their one-on-one time so much surprised even him. Especially considering in the past his interest in an individual girl didn't last long, especially with ones that didn't put out.

In truth he wasn't used to hanging out with girls that he wasn't A, partying with or B, preparing to sleep with.

Typically any alone time he spent with someone was only a lead up to sex but it had become clear to Chuck early on that with Odette sex was not even an option, yet.

After their Thanksgiving makeup, they had started to fool around a bit more, but it still never went further than that. With anyone else, this would have been an immediate deterrent and he would quickly, and easily, go find his next _play-thing, _but despite her not putting out for him, Chuck still enjoyed their time together.

There was something really effortless about their interactions that he had never really experienced with a girl before.

There were no games, no one was trying to gain something from the other, they both were just enjoying the time spent together.

Of course, despite how easy it was to get caught up in Odette, what had gone down with Blair at her party lived permanently at the forefront of his mind. It was easy to temporarily distract himself from thoughts of it all but they didn't stay away for long.

Flashbacks to that night and the lingering guilt he felt would creep its way back in.

This was new for him. He was Chuck Bass and shame was most definitely his game, but this was different.

Nate had been his best friend since they were little kids and there was no one that Chuck was really closer to. Despite knowing that Nate didn't really _love_ Blair Waldorf she was still his girlfriend, his _long-term_ girlfriend, and he felt really bad about betraying his friend. Regardless of circumstance, there was still a '_bro-code'_.

To be fair though, the only reason Chuck hooked up with Blair in the first place was that he assumed Nate broke the 'bro-code' _first_. At least that's how he tried to justify it all to himself but in retrospect, he knew he really jumped the gun on that.

He also knew that manning up and being honest with Nate was the right thing to do and that he owed his friend that much, but he was also a complete _coward_.

Losing Nate was a risk and it wasn't one he particularly wanted to take.

Nate wasn't the only person potentially getting hurt from this situation though. There was also Odette.

Chuck didn't like to admit to or really discuss it, but he obviously wasn't outright hiding the fact he had a serious interest in her that went beyond just sex.

The chances of Nate forgiving him felt somewhat 50/50 considering how bad his relationship with Blair had been lately. The chances of Odette forgiving him however were approximately_ zero_.

They had _just_ gotten past the Coco situation and she had completely iced him out for that when it wasn't even true. If she found out about him and Blair... he had no doubt that she would never speak to him again and that was another risk he wasn't willing to take.

So instead, he would just stomach the guilt and try to justify his choice to be cowardly by telling himself he's doing it for their own good; as a way to protect Nate and Odette, but deep down he knew he was doing it to protect himself.

He wasn't prepared to lose two people he cared about in one fell swoop.

Chuck didn't let a lot of people in.

Having learned at a young age that people come and people go he had really made a point of trying to not get emotionally attached to people. This is why he treated the partners he hooked up with as if they were nothing important to him and he never slept with the same person twice. This is why, despite having other friends, Nate was the only one he considered himself close to.

The person he was closest to in the world had killed herself, effectively vanishing from his life forever and this had broken him, in a lot of ways, at a fairly young age.

From then, the first girl he had ever _'loved'_, or thought he loved at least, was essentially using him the entire time and left his life like it was nothing. Like he _was_ nothing. This had broken him further.

He had too much proof of the people he cared about leaving him so to combat that fear he typically refused to let himself get close enough to anyone to care if they never talked to him again or not.

Nate _had_ been the only exception because they were friends long before all the stuff that made Chuck become this way.

Odette, on the other hand, came way after the fact and yet somehow had still fallen through the cracks of the giant wall he had put up to protect himself.

And now, here they were, and there was really no turning back for him.

Pressing the upward arrow on the elevator, Chuck waits for the button to light up signaling its descent to the lobby where they were waiting before shifting his gaze to Odette. He couldn't help admiring the way the matching belt to her emerald jumpsuit cinched her waist just right.

He was used to girls wearing dresses and had secretly been hoping to see Odette in some slinky crimson-colored number, but the minute he saw her all those thoughts disappeared and he realized he had never appreciated the color emerald enough because he had never seen it look as beautiful as it did on her. The richness of it really stood out against her fair skin and the color brought out small specs of green in her cerulean eyes that he had never noticed up until this point. The jumpsuit not only accented her figure but showcased her shoulders and pronounced collarbone. He could also see a trail of freckles scattered from her left shoulder, down her back. The tiny dots seemed to taper off where the green fabric of her top met her skin, but as Chuck stood there, admiring her, he imagined how they would look underneath her clothes.

_"What are you staring at?"_

Shaking his head for a moment, a small smirk works it's way across his face before he states matter-of-factly, "Your freckles."

Odette can feel her cheeks begin to warm with embarrassment. Like most people that had them, she _hated_ her freckles and would typically coordinate her outfits to cover them up but the jumpsuit she was wearing tonight had come as a gift from Karl Lagerfeld himself. Dyed emerald green for the festive occasion and designed specifically for her measurements, and one does not just simply turn down a gift bestowed to them by _the_ Karl Lagerfeld. Freckles be damned, she was determined to wear this ensemble with confidence.

But of course, Chuck pointing them out had her instantly second-guessing her previous confidence.

Sensing her embarrassment Chuck moves closer, "They make me curious..." He places his index finger on the top of her shoulder, "If I traced them all the way down..." His voice is soft, like velvet to the ears, and as he speaks to her he gently and slowly traces his finger across the path of freckles that stream down her shoulder and back, but he stops once he reaches the fabric of her top, "how far down would they go?"

Odette's lower lip quivers ever so slightly and she's certain that her eyes are a dead giveaway to the fact she's melting on the inside, but she does her best to remain an air of indifference, "The world may never know. And by the world, I mean you, obviously."

Before Chuck can reply something smart the elevator bell chimes before the doors roll open for them, "After you."

"Such gentlemen." Batting her eyes at him in an overexaggerated way, Odette enters the spacious lift and instantly begins to mentally prepare herself for what she was walking into.

She was showing up fairly late. Later than what was expected of her at least.

This intentional lapse in her planning time was partly in an effort to avoid her grandfather.

They hadn't spoken much at all since their Thanksgiving standoff in Kycuit and she knew the later she showed the more likely he was to be busy entertaining his many guests.

Avoiding the old man was only part of her untimely arrival though. Mainly she was late because it had taken just about all of her willpower to pull herself out of Chuck's bed that evening.

Since their Thanksgiving make-up, things had quickly gotten back on track for them and were moving full-force ahead.

They still hadn't quite put a label on things or had the dreaded _'what are we?' _talk but at the same time, it didn't feel like they needed to. Not forcing him to have those talks kept Chuck at ease and in turn he was steadily becoming more and more available to her. It was a slow process, sure, but one that she really felt was worth putting the effort in for.

She could feel herself falling for him though and she knew she probably needed to take some steps back and keep her guard up to protect herself, but it was easier said than done. Especially when giving in to her feelings for him was so much more fun.

She hadn't felt this way about anyone in..._awhile_.

However, considering how her last experience turned out and Chuck's well-known reputation she of course still had her reservations.

She was trying her hardest to be smart about things even though everything about him lately was making her brain feel fuzzy. However, regardless of how good things felt with him at the moment, she knew she still had a responsibility to herself to be smart... in _all_ aspects.

Her lack of self-control and good-sense is what had gotten her into problematic situations in the past and she wasn't looking to repeat them but, regardless of the many concerns and worries that were involved, she couldn't help leaving them in the back burner of her mind as she got more and more caught up in Chuck.

She watches him as he fiddles with his cufflinks, waiting for the elevator doors to close.

Out of the corner of his eye, Chuck can see Odette looking at him, furthermore, he can feel her eyes on him. Meeting her gaze, he raises an eyebrow at her but before he can say something witty or suggestive their small moment is interrupted as someone sticks their foot between the elevator doors just as they start to close.

With a small sigh of relief, Jordan rolls his shoulders back as the elevator doors open for him once again. "Sorry about..." His voice trails off once his eyes land on Odette and he briefly shifts his weight from one foot to the other but doesn't move any further to get into the lift.

Seeing Jordan, Odette's eyes grew wide in surprise, briefly, before narrowing into a scowl, "You gonna get in? Or just keep wasting our time?"

Catching the way venom drips from her words Chuck cautiously side-eyes Odette before stepping to the side so Jordan can get in.

Clearing his throat Jordan moves to stand next to Chuck and stares at the various buttons, trying his hardest to concentrate on that instead of the obvious thick air of tension currently filling the small elevator.

Biting down on his lower lip, Chuck rubs his chin as he racks his brain for something to talk about. Anything was better than this deafening silence.

"You work for David, right?"

Hearing Chuck's question, Jordan shifts his focus to him, but before he can answer Odette speaks up.

"He works for our family." She quickly clarifies, her eyes squinting as she forces a tight smile, "He's like our _bitch_, really. Isn't that right Jordy?"

There wasn't much that made Chuck uncomfortable, but this interaction definitely was. Odette's animosity towards Jordan was palpable and he was having a difficult time understanding what had brought this on. Odette didn't seem to have much of a mean streak but this guy brought out a really different side of her.

Jordan bites his tongue, knowing that he can't be as bold in his response to her, not with the Bass kid here as a witness at least. "You shouldn't speak such obscenities _Dee-Dee_," a smug grin briefly flashes across his face as he uses her family's pet name to mock her, "It's very unbecoming of a young lady."

Odette can feel her blood boil but before she can bite back anything to him the elevator comes to a halt and the doors open up to the lavish Christmas party.

"You two have a great night and uh...best of luck to you, you're going to need it." Jordan winces as he claps Chuck on the back before stepping out of the lift.

Watching his retreating figure, Odette wonders if she stares hard enough if she can make him combust until there's nothing but a pile of ash left where he stands.

"So, what's the deal with that?" Shoving his hands in his pant pockets, Chuck stares up at the ceiling before looking at Odette.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," A small, awkward, chuckle emits him, "why do you hate him so much?"

"Because he's the worst person on Earth?" Odette is serious for a moment before forcing a laugh, "He's just_ annoying_ and always in my business and trying to tell me what to do. He's...snakey and I honestly don't want to waste any more time talking about him, okay?"

Chuck wasn't sure he believed that was all there was to it, but he also had no reason to doubt her. "Understood. How about we see if we can find some mistletoe?" With a small wink, he offers his elbow to her so he can escort her into the party.

* * *

Cortney sat quietly at her table, directly next to Kati and Iz, but despite their rapid-fire conversations she just didn't have the energy to jump in on any of the talking points.

Christmas time was easily her favorite part of the year but she wasn't really feeling very in the holiday spirit this year. Her grandfather's annual parties were something she always looked forward to and she had been so excited to be able to invite Kati and Iz this time, but that was before.

Despite only happening a short time ago, Cortney could easily categorize her life as B.B and A.B. Before Benji and After Benji. The Cortney she was _B.B_ was a far cry from the girl she felt like today.

Thanksgiving break had served as a nice escape for her. She never really left her home, she was only around her family, and just for a little bit she didn't have to fake like everything okay. But now that they had been back at school, and she was forced to attend a social event such as this, she knew she needed to turn it on and act like she was fine. It just wasn't that easy.

She was going through the motions but felt extremely disconnected from herself and her life. It was as if she was having an out-of-body experience and was watching herself go through her daily tasks but not feeling any sort of connection to any of it or anyone.

She didn't want to feel this way.

Every night before bed she would tell herself affirmations and that _'tomorrow is a new day'_, _'tomorrow will be the day you snap out of this'_ but every morning she'd wake up just the same as the day before, if not worse.

Her body would fight her on _everything_.

It was a struggle to get out of bed, it was a hassle to put on makeup and try to look presentable, even putting one foot in front of the other to walk felt exhausting.

She was tired, _all the time_.

And every day she could physically feel herself sink deeper and deeper into the darkness of her own mind.

She hated giving Benji this extra power over her. As if he hadn't taken enough from her physically, what he had done was now effectively killing her soul.

It was as if he had drained her entire life force, but not all at once - little bit, by little bit, he was breaking her and she knew eventually there would be nothing left of her standing.

The strangest part of it all was that despite feeling like every new day was a struggle and feeling further and further from herself as time passed, no one around her really seemed to catch on. They all went about their days just like before.

Couldn't they see her dying right before their eyes?

Spouts of anger came in flashes but were quickly diminished by the realization that just as much as she wanted someone to notice her pain and help her she more so wanted no one to find out.

Her rape was her secret shame and it was her cross to bear, completely alone.

_"Co?"_

Taking a sip of her water, Cortney looks between both Kati and Iz as she tries to figure out who had just been trying to get her attention, "Hm?"

Iz rolls her eyes before repeating herself, this time her tone far less enthused, "Benji's been asking about you. I was thinking you two could double with Bobby and me."

Cortney can feel an instant chill run through her body at the mention of Benji.

Go on a date with him? She would sooner cut off her own arm and eat it.

"How would that even work?"

Not understanding the question Iz cocks her head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and Bobby don't really go on dates...you have hookups. So, would we be going on this _'double date'_ in his bedroom?"

She had meant it as somewhat of a joke but it was quickly apparent that Iz found zero humor in her comment, "Wow." Iz abruptly pushes herself out of her chair, "You don't have to be a bitch. I was trying to do you a favor."

"A favor?" Cortney laughs at her choice of words knowing a _'date'_ with Benji is the furthest thing from what she would consider a _favor_.

"Yeah, Benji told all his buddies that you let him smash. First Chuck, now Benji, you're getting a reputation, Cortney." Iz not using her nickname was a clear sign that she was trying to cut her down a notch, "Excuse me for trying to make something deeper happen between you and Benji so that maybe people won't lose complete respect for you."

"Great, thanks so much for your consideration, _Isabel_. But I don't need you to do me any favors, I don't want anything _deeper_ with Benji, and I don't care if people lose respect for me! But I know that must come as a shock to someone who relies and thrives on receiving validation from other people."

Both Kati and Iz's faces fall as Cortney's dig fully processes, "I'm so out of here." Iz gathers her belongings quickly before looking back at Coco with puppy-dog like eyes, "This new personality of yours is seriously unlikeable. Let me know when my friend is back."

Cortney watches her figure retreat into the crowd of partygoers and though she does feel a little guilty she mostly feels nothing.

"That was pretty harsh, Co." Kati tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before exchanging a small glance with Cortney, "You've been kind of different since the other night. Is it because you feel weird about what happened?"

Taken aback by this turn of the conversation, Cortney directs her full attention to Kati. Since that night the two girls hadn't talked about what happened between them at all. If anything it was as if it never happened and hearing Kati mention it now was surprising, to say the least.

"No." Cortney didn't feel weird about their kiss, in fact, she felt weird for not feeling weird about it. For her, their kiss felt like the most natural thing in the world and while she had a lot of heavier stuff weighing on her mind and heart she also couldn't deny thinking back to that kiss from time to time and finding comfort in the memory.

"Because it was just a one-time, drunk, kiss. It didn't mean anything and nothing has to be weird between us, okay? So if you're being a bitch to... I don't know, cover up any discomfort you might be feeling? Please stop. It was dumb but it doesn't need to ruin our friendship."

Every word out of Kati's mouth felt like a direct punch to her stomach and Cortney could almost swear it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Kati's words were unintentionally brutal and truly the last thing she needed to be hearing right now.

"Great, thanks for clearing that up."

Kati watches Cortney, trying desperately to read her but she was having a difficult time doing so, "Did you really hook up with Benji?"

"Yeah, something like that." Cortney stares down intently at the Christmas themed linen that was draping their table.

A long silence passes between them before Kati speaks up, "I should probably go find Iz."

"Right..."

"I'm glad we talked though Co, I really don't want things to be weird between us." Reaching out, she gives Cortney's hand a gentle squeeze.

Her touch sends volts of low-wave shocks throughout Cortney's body and she can feel her heart begin to flutter ever so slightly, but once Kati pulls away those feelings are instantly gone. As they should be. Those _feelings_, whatever they were, needed to be killed and buried because Kati had made it abundantly clear nothing would ever happen between them.

"I'll talk to Iz and everything will be good, okay? Why don't you come with us to our dress fitting on Saturday?"

The look in Kati's eyes was a mixture of hopefulness and pleading, which made it difficult to say no even though Cortney didn't feel like committing herself to anything these days, "Sure."

"Great, I'll text you!"

"Sure."

Cortney watches as Kati's figure retreats into the same crowd Iz had moments before. However, unlike with Iz, watching Kati leave made her feel a twinge in her heart. It's not like she had been expecting Kati to profess her love to her and declare their kiss as _'life-changing', _but in a way that's how it had felt for her.

_Life-changing_...

As if she didn't have enough to worry about with the Benji situation she now had to find a way to come to terms with her obvious feelings for her best friend as well as figure out a way to squash those as to not ruin said best friendship.

Everything in her life right now totally and completely sucked.

* * *

"I still don't understand why she has to come _everywhere_ with us." Walking with her arm looped with her mothers, Mackenzie Humphrey pouts as they walk several feet behind the rest of the Humphrey clan.

...and Vanessa.

For the most part, she was pretty well adjusted to Vanessa and her rather large personality. The girl had been friends with Dan since primary school, after all, and lived in the same building as them for a portion of time too. However, despite only being a year apart and growing up together, Mackenzie had never developed the friendship with Vanessa that Dan had.

Or, any sort of friendship at all really, and apparently in her absence, Vanessa had become even closer to the remaining Humphreys and had essentially wormed herself into their family.

Really Mack's dislike for the wild-haired brunette wasn't entirely her fault.

Mackenzie had a complicated relationship with her father for as long as she could remember and she had never felt that he tried to connect with her in the way he did with Dan and Jenny. This made her decision to move out with her mom all the easier but now that they were back, even if only visiting, all those feelings of insecurity came flooding back.

This was heightened by Vanessa's close relationship with her family.

Growing up, Dan and Vanessa had somewhat blown Jenny off a lot, writing her off as an annoying little sister-type, but now they appeared to be close friends, chatting away and laughing at their own inside jokes. Mackenzie would be lying if she said it didn't bother her. While she was happy Jenny had a '_big-sister'_ figure around when she couldn't be, it didn't feel good to physically be here and be shown up by Vanessa. She knew so much more about the ins and outs of Dan and Jenny's life, in a lot of ways it felt like she was the new third sibling - the _new and improved_ Mackenzie.

The most painful part, however, was seeing the healthy relationship between Vanessa and Rufus. They both conversed like old friends and yet still had this sense of a real father and daughter like bond. Mackenzie was his own flesh and blood and yet he seemed closer to Vanessa. She had the relationship with Rufus that Mack had been craving for years and she didn't even have to try.

"Vanessa is having a hard time right now, Kenzie. Her parents split and she has a complicated relationship with her dad. She needs to be around family right now." Alison sighed as she spoke, giving her daughter a small smile.

"Oh wow, mom. Not like I would know anything about that, right? Also, we aren't her family. That's what she has Ruby and Rosa for." At the mention of Vanessa's older sister, and her live-in girlfriend, Mackenzie scowls. Vanessa was _their_ responsibility, why couldn't they bring her to the stupid tree lighting? Probably because this event showed support for _'the man'_ or something to that effect, but still.

Mackenzie was sweet, as all Humphrey's were at their core, but there was also that signature Humphrey snark that was always ready to strike when necessary.

"Okay, calm down." Fighting a laugh, Alison gives her some serious side-eye as if to warn her to behave as she did back in times when her children were actual _children_.

But they were all far from that now.

Each of them was growing and constantly changing and evolving to better fit the young adults they are becoming.

How had that happened?

How had it all happened so quickly?

She had always been told to enjoy them while they were little because they grow so fast. And she had treasured every little memory and yet it still didn't feel like enough time.

One day she's a young mother, madly in love with her partner, doting on her three beautiful children, and then...

Her younger self could never have imagined that this is how her life would turn out. Estranged from Rufus and living a completely separate life from two of her children. Despite how at peace she felt in Hudson she couldn't deny that a piece of her always felt empty, always longing for her family.

Being back, and everyone living under the same roof wasn't an easy adjustment. It was awkward, definitely, but she could also envision that in time things would work themselves back to normalcy.

Some degree of it, maybe.

All of it was easier said than done, however. As much as she did care for Rufus she wasn't sure they could fix things between them, but she did feel that she owed it to her children to try at least. They didn't deserve to be punished because she wasn't happy.

What was _'happy'_ anyways?

Sure, it was the joy and passion she felt with Alex.

It was the euphoria that engulfed her when she finished a new project.

But it was also the pride she felt watching her children achieve great things.

It was the laughter they brought her. That deep from the belly, genuine, laughter that only her kids got out of her.

And once upon a time, happiness was Rufus too.

It was possible they could get back to that point. She at least owed it to Dan, Mackenzie, and Jenny to try.

And that's what she was doing, she was _trying_.

Traveling across the bridge to come watch the tree lighting at Rockefeller Center was an annual Humphrey tradition. Mostly because one year, when all the kids were much younger, Mackenzie had become transfixed with the tv screen as she watched the lighting from the comfort of the loft. Rufus, silently, took note of this, and starting the next year he took his entire family to witness the festivities in person.

However, as the kids had gotten older they had become less and less interested in this old tradition, and with the splitting of the family the year prior, everyone had lucked out on missing it for the first time since they started attending.

Unbeknownst to anyone though, Rufus had still attended. He went alone, which had been pretty depressing, but the sadness from his shattered life mixed with the happy memories of bringing Mackenzie and the other kids year after year was almost cathartic.

This year Rufus was determined to establish some sense of normalcy, so he dragged his entire family...and Vanessa...out into the blistering cold to watch.

A sense of normalcy was the excuse he had given everyone as they protested his _insistence_ that they the attend this year, but really his desire to go was more so because he knew Alison wasn't going to stay with him. He knew that after the holidays she would pack up and take Mackenzie back to Hudson with her and he'd see his daughter less and less. He knew this was the very last time they'd attend this event as a family and therefore it was probably the last time he could watch Mackenzie's eyes light up, just like they did the very first time she saw the Christmas tree lights that day on tv. She liked to pretend she was as bored with this all as her siblings were, but every time they came that hint of child-like wonder was still present behind her wide blue eyes.

Rufus was not forthcoming with his motives, of course, so no one else really understood why he was so determined to attend this year, but, come rain, shine, or frost-bite, _apparently_, the Humphrey's were going to be there with the other hundreds of thousands of people.

_"Watch it, buddy!"_

_"Oh, up yours!" _

_"Fuck you, both." _

Hearing the start to a low-grade brawl begin to break out in the crowd surrounding them, Mackenzie grimaces, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas." She sings in a harmonic voice before shaking her head in dismay.

Regardless of how early they got here there were always tons of people already waiting and the Humphrey's never even got remotely close to the actual stupid tree.

_'That's not the point'_, Rufus would argue time and time again.

Despite not being super pleased with the fact this was how she was spending her evening, Mackenzie tried to consider the positives. Slim as they might be. For one, at least with the number of people here, invading her personal space as they stood so close to her she could hear their breathing, an extra layer of warmth was provided to protect her from the painfully chill night air.

Before she can think of another positive Dan, walking in the opposite direction of them, passes both Alison and Mackenzie without saying a word. Both mother and daughter exchange a look before turning and calling after him, "Dan!"

As their voices ring through the air, Dan turns and walks back to them with an annoyed expression, "Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"I told Dad already." Dan bit his lip as he processed what he had just said. He wasn't intentionally trying to hide anything from his mother but he was also long out of the practice of asking her permission for anything. As he sees a look of hurt flash across her face he instantly feels terrible, "Didn't mean it like that... I uh, I told Dad that I'm going to meet Serena. I don't want her wandering aimlessly through this crowd trying to find us."

Despite knowing exactly what Dan had meant Alison decides to let it go, "Such a gentleman we raised, huh? That's a good idea. Take your sister with you." As she finishes, Alison swings Mackenzie forward before unlinking their arms.

"What?"

"Why?"

Neither sibling seemed thrilled by the prospect.

"Mom, Serena is at an invite-only party up there," Dan gestures to the towering building across the street from them, "I don't even know if I'll be allowed in, let alone Mack."

"Another one?" Mack's lip curls in mild disgust, "Is that all these people do is throw lavish parties?"

"Pretty much." Nodding his head briefly Dan points back in the direction of the expansive skyscraper, "I gotta go."

"Mackenzie, go with him." Alison snaps as she flicks her finger towards Dan, "You know the rules, no one goes anywhere without a buddy."

"Mom, that's from when we were like, five?" With a small grimace, Mack shakes her head before reluctantly moving to follow Dan. Their mother was clearly not taking no for an answer and they were wasting time standing here.

"It still applies. Now go, and stick together." Waving both teenagers off Alison moves to quickly catch up with the rest of the Humphrey clan. ..._and Vanessa_.

"Where's Mackenzie?" Rufus searches the area, briefly panicked that they've left her behind or that someone grabbed her when no one was looking.

"She went with Dan to find Serena," Alison responds, smiling to Jenny and Vanessa as she wraps her arms around either of them.

"Oh..." his face falters, but it's barely noticeable, "She's going to miss the show."

"Come on Rufus, she's seen it so many times. I think she'll survive missing one more."

* * *

Several beats of silence pass as Dan stares directly at Mackenzie, his face devoid of any clear emotion.

"Lead the way?" She offers with a gesture, "You know where we're going, I don't."

Clenching his jaw, Dan turns abruptly away from his sister and begins to push his way through the crowd. Despite his annoyance at her chaperoning him, he still made a point to turn back and check that she was still behind him every few seconds.

As they move through the crowded plaza Mackenzie makes small faces at the back of Dan's head. He had been annoyed with her since before Thanksgiving and she truly didn't know what had gotten into him. Rolling her eyes, her gaze naturally drifts elsewhere and she stops in her tracks once she sees it, "Dan!"

Halting as he hears his name called, _again_, Dan looks down at his watch before turning back to his sister, "What?"

His tone is flat but even Dan's sour-puss mood can't kill the excitement that was filling her at the moment, "Look!" She points to a sign advertising an upcoming taping of Saturday Night Live.

The late-night sketch comedy show was one of Mackenzie's favorites and she had been trying to score tickets to a taping for years now, but considering how popular the show was the tickets weren't cheap and were not at all easy to come by.

"I can't believe I'm going to walk through the same lobby that some of the greats have..." Mackenzie moves through the massive front entrance as if she's walking on air. This was such a small thing, but she felt completely elated to even be in the same building that hosted the iconic show.

"_'Greats'_ seems like a stretch." Dan tilts his head side to side as he weighs this thought.

"Daniel," Mackenzie narrows her eyes at him slightly, "I don't say shit about your love for Emerson or Hemingway, let me have this."

Throwing his hands up in surrender Dan moves around Mackenzie to walk towards the security guard closest to the elevator, "Maybe don't say my name quite so loud?" He offers, bringing his index finger to his lips, before turning back around. Despite feeling his stomach start to roll with nerves, Dan tries his best to remain completely collected as he strolls towards the elevator with a purpose. He makes a point not to stop, hoping that despite his casual attire the security guy will believe he belongs. _Fake it till you make it..._

"Can I help you, folks?" Moving to block the elevator doors, the security guard scans Dan up and down before crossing his arms firmly across his chest.

"Just trying to get back up to the party." Dan pointed up at the ceiling as if he needed to explain.

The security's lip quivers before he busts out in boisterous laughter, "You're attending the party, right, totally."

"Uh, yeah." Despite trying desperately to remain calm, Dan knew he obviously wasn't fooling this guy and there was no way he was getting through. As always he was the outsider looking in. He would just have to text Serena to meet him downstairs.

Getting ready to turn back around Dan only stops as Mackenzie moves in front of him, "Do you have any idea who I am? Clearly not, since you're standing here laughing instead of moving out of the way so we can get back to the party."

Dan's eyes momentarily go wide, completely caught off guard by this faux persona of Mackenzie's. Mack was typically pretty quiet, especially around strangers, and he was surprised she had it in her to act this way.

Now staring Mackenzie up and down the guard asks pointedly, "And who are you?"

"I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen. This is Blair Waldorf," at this, she looks to Dan before focusing back on the guard who now looks doubly confused, "What? Blair is totally a unisex name."

"Right..." Giving the pair an incredulous look, he glances down at his clipboard of names. Both Serena and Blair were clearly listed, but it didn't take a genius to know something was up, "You got some form of identification?"

Mackenzie panicked, but only briefly, "No, we don't. We left our belongings upstairs at coat check."

"I didn't see you come down the first time and I've been working all night."

"That's because we went through the fourth-floor exit. And what is this? The ground floor, oh so _darn_, you wouldn't have seen us if we were on a completely separate floor?"

"Well, I can't let you in without some proof that you are who you say you are."

"Jesus, what is with the interrogation! You know, I'm very close friends with the Rockefeller family and they will be so disappointed to hear that security harasses their party guest."

"You're bluffing." He stares Mackenzie down, not wanting to back down to her despite her threat striking a degree of fear into him.

"Are you willing to risk your job on that bet?" Cocking her head to the side, Mackenzie purses her lips as she waits for his response.

After a few moments of debating his course of action, the security guard moves to the side, "Enjoy the party."

"I will, thanks!"

As the two siblings climb into the elevator, hearts beating rapidly from the thrill of their lies, Dan looks at Mack before laughing.

"How did you even know there was another exit?"

"I may or may not have studied a map of this building in an attempt to sneak into a taping." Cringing in embarrassment over what a fan-girl she sounded like, Mack starts to laugh as well, "I can't believe that worked."

"Me either."

It absolutely shouldn't have.

Despite Mack capturing the bratty and entitled behavior of the girls that attended parties such as this pretty well, it was still all too apparent that she was faking it. Mackenzie couldn't be more different from the character she had tried to present herself as, but Dan definitely appreciated her going for it. Especially considering how silly she must have felt, "Amy would be so proud."

"Amy? ...Poehler?" Fully registering Dan's attempt at complimenting her, Mackenzie begins to laugh harder, "She better be!"

A small chime sounds through the compact space of the elevator before the doors slide open revealing a scene that looked straight out of _'The Great Gatsby'_. This party was clearly just arranged so that the Rockefeller's could flash their wealth to everyone and boy, did they...

Dan had thought the few birthday parties he was invited to seemed over the top but this Holiday party was an entirely different ballgame. The decor, while simple in appearance, still managed to drip of wealth. Judging by everyone's attire this was clearly a black-tie affair and looking at how dapper everyone appeared only made Dan feel more and more out of place.

Much like her brother, Mackenzie looks around the large ballroom in complete shock. She wasn't entirely sure what she had been expecting, but this wasn't it. She attended a private school in Hudson and she had wealthy friends and peers herself, but even their most luxurious event paled in comparison to the party happening on this floor. It was as if the elevator had transported them back in time, she had never seen so many classically good-looking and well-dressed people in one room.

"Do you see Serena?"

Hearing her brother's question, Mack begins to scan the crowd more carefully in search of the tall blonde. Despite knowing that finding Serena is the whole reason they came here, she could easily find herself becoming more and more distracted by the various party-goers.

On one side of the room, there was a woman who's entire dress looked like it was made out of diamonds. _Like, actual diamonds. _

On the opposite end, she could clearly see Jimmy Fallon talking with... "Is that Obama?" She could only catch small glimpses of his side profile but she felt fairly certain that she was in fact staring at the President.

"No." Dan is quick to shut this down but after a moment his face twists, "Well, actually..." Before he can decide if that person is in fact the President, he catches sight of Serena. She was completely animated as she chatted with Odette and even from across the room Dan could swear he could hear her angelic giggle.

"There she is."

Hearing her brother Mack tears her eyes away from _maybe_-Obama and follows his stare, but before her eyes can fully settle on Serena she does a double-take of a couple swaying slowly in place as the rotating dance floor moves them around the room.

There was something deeply sad about them both, they projected this cloud of gloom that was so apparent that Mack wondered why no one else was watching them as quizzically as she was. She couldn't quite place it but there was a sadness about one of them that felt almost familiar. As the dance floor continues to slowly spin, the guys face comes more clearly into view and Mackenzie feels her breath hitch as she focuses in on him specifically.

She was never one to gawk, but this boy was ridiculously attractive.

Chiseled jaw, perfect hair, and eyes as green as the sea.

She wasn't usually attracted to the type of guys that were _so_ obviously good-looking. Mainly because she knew that they knew they were attractive and also because she wasn't completely confident enough in herself to believe guys like _that_ would ever like someone that looked like her.

She knew her league and she knew that _dancing-boy_ was way out of it, but still, she could admire him from afar of course.

_"Serena looks..."_

"Gorgeous." Her reply comes out as no more than a whisper. Caught off guard by her own response, Mack quickly directs her gaze back to Serena, "Gorgeous. She always looks gorgeous."

Rubbing his forehead for a moment Dan turns to Mack, almost pleading, "Please be nice."

"I'm nice!"

Her tone didn't sound too nice right now but that was mainly because she was exhausted with this conversation. They had been having this same argument since the night of that Blair girl's birthday party. Mackenzie and Serena didn't have a lot in common right off the bat and therefore didn't have a lot to talk about that night. In Dan's eyes, this was, of course, Mackenzie's fault and her way of icing Serena out for whatever reason.

"As I've said, Dan, just because you fall at her feet and worship the ground she walks on doesn't mean the rest of us do."

Dan had long ago put Serena on this untouchable pedestal. He viewed her as being completely perfect in all ways and because he was so obsessed with her he couldn't possibly fathom why anyone else wouldn't be. Despite his hopes and wishes, Mackenzie and Serena hadn't become fast friends from the start but this didn't mean that they wouldn't. He just needed to give it time. Mack wasn't like Jenny, or even Dan, she wasn't so easily caught up in this world and therefore wasn't instantly entranced by Serena. But this didn't mean she didn't like her and it certainly didn't mean she wasn't nice.

Sparing one last glance to his sister Dan moves in towards Serena, Mackenzie only a short step behind him.

* * *

Chuck looked between Serena and Odette as they laughed over some anecdote that he had missed completely. He couldn't focus on anything they were talking about with his nerves growing as rapidly as they were.

Serena was the only person, outside of him or Blair, that knew what happened the other night and despite knowing Serena would likely not snitch on Blair he was still incredibly concerned she might give him up at any moment.

Every now and then, the blonde would glance over at Chuck, always looking at him with a mix of shock and disgust. He already felt conflicted enough without Serena adding to it. He knew what she thought of him, that he was vile, a pig, an ass, etc. He knew all this to be true too, but he didn't want Odette to see him that way too and he knew she would if she found out.

So, she couldn't... and Serena really needed to stop staring at him like that.

Clenching his jaw as her eyes shift to him once again, Chuck excuses himself from the conversation and heads in the direction of Blair and Nate, "Sorry to interrupt the dance," though truthfully, Nate looked somewhat relieved, "Can I borrow you for a moment, Blair?" He looks back at Nate, "I need clarification on this Secret Santa bullshit."

Nate nods in understanding but after a moment furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"Nate," Calling for his attention, Blair runs her fingers through his hair briefly, "If you hear who Chuck got that kind of ruins the surprise, no?"

Their friend group had been doing Secret Santa since the eighth grade. Every year the group changed slightly with people getting removed or added, but each year Blair took great pleasure in planning the whole thing meticulously. Considering recent events, she hadn't been in the mood for it this year but everyone else, _mostly_, had no clue about the major drama of her life and therefore expected for the game to carry on like it always had. The show must always go on...

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, Nate looks between Blair and Chuck repeatedly before cracking a smile, "You got me this year, didn't you?" Reaching out, Nate squeezes Chuck's shoulder, "You think you're slick man, but I've got you figured out." Nate wags his finger at his friend, laughing as he walks away, "Alright I'm going. Don't want to _'ruin the surprise'_."

Chuck and Blair both sport tight smiles as they wait for Nate to be out of earshot before turning to each other with equally unimpressed scowls.

"Well?" Blair can hardly make eye contact with Chuck these days, feeling her cheeks grow flushed with embarrassment whenever she had to look at him directly. Any time she saw him all she could think about was the other night and the entire ordeal made her feel physically ill. "You interrupted a moment between Nate and I, what do you want?"

"Oh yeah, looked real intimate. I'm pretty sure some of his drool is still right there." Chuck flicks his finger at the top of her head before continuing, "I think I'm going to come clean with Odette."

All the color is instantly drained from Blair's face as she feels her heart drop into her stomach, "What? No, you can't." Her tone is gentle like it had been earlier in the evening, her stress and fear reducing her to some sort of timid creature, "Please, don't."

"It's not like I _want_ to." He licks his lips, his mind racing in search of any sort of alternative, "But, I feel like I owe that to her."

Despite not eating anything all day, Blair suddenly felt so heavy, as if she was weighted down in her place. The nerves in the pit of her stomach were building and she felt that at any moment they would start to push themselves up through her body until they poured out of her mouth like vomit.

"Don't, please."

Different variations of these same two words were all she could think, let alone say.

As she feels him begin to walk away she instinctively reaches out and takes hold of his wrist, "Chuck, I'm begging you. Please don't do this. It was a stupid mistake. I love Nate and Odette likes you. Our mistake isn't worth losing them over." When she had started speaking she wasn't entirely sure where she was going with this, but she surrendered to speaking from the heart, "A small lie isn't the most awful thing if it protects someone."

He was watching her skeptically, fully doubting the words coming out of her mouth, but she carried on, "I would have rather not known about any of Nate's betrayals so that I could continue living my life in peace, believing my relationship is fine."

"Blair, that's..." _'delusional.'_ "Oblivion."

"It's bliss." Blair shrugs meekly, her doe eyes filling with tears. She was so desperate to keep Chuck from blabbing she was willing to expose her vulnerable side to him if it meant he'd stay quiet. "You tell her, you lose her. And you will lose Nate too." Blair shakes her head slowly, "I know that's not what you want and it's not what either of us deserves for _one_ mistake. Nate's made many..."

Chuck raises an eyebrow at her, teetering between listening to her or his subconscious, "And yet you chose to forgive him every time."

"Yes. And look at the toll it has taken on me." Blair lets out a small breath, almost as if she was about to laugh but couldn't muster the energy to commit to it, "I don't know all the times Nate stepped out on me, so what's the big issue with hiding this one time from him? Sum it up to karma."

Chuck closes his eyes in frustration for a moment, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek as he tries to gather himself, "I know this must be shocking to someone as self-involved as you, but you and Nate aren't actually the only people at risk of getting hurt here."

"...you?"

"No, not me. Odette." Chuck quickly clarifies. Not that he hadn't considered his own feelings and what he was risking in all this, but in this moment he wasn't thinking of anyone else but her. Subconsciously his eyes drift back to where he had left her with Serena and he watches as she talks back and forth with Dan and another girl. He couldn't even be annoyed by Humphrey's presence right now, he barely noticed him at all as he focused in on her. Staring intently he responds, "She hasn't done bad things to any of us. Why does she deserve the bad karma of you and me?"

Blair rolls her eyes in frustration, gripping at her stomach as it begins to cramp from the stress of this conversation, "I don't know, I guess she's collateral damage?"

This was ridiculous. If this had happened a few months prior, before Chuck had gotten more involved with Odette, there was no way he'd be arguing with her over this. They would be on the exact same page. He'd take their fling to his grave and only ever mention it to torture and toy with her. But, he had obviously caught feelings for Odette and they had made him soft because Chuck Bass was clearly breaking before her eyes.

"Oh, fuck you." The words spill from his lips. It was an impulsive reaction as he felt anger inside him start to boil at how obvious it was that Blair completely disregarded her friend's feelings in favor of her own. Here he was feeling so guilty about hurting her, even hurting Nate possibly, but as usual, all Blair could care or worry about was herself.

"You already did that. Kind of what put us in this predicament." Blair bites back at him, giving him an icy stare. "I feel bad for Odette-"

"No, you don't." He shakes his head, his tone completely dismissive.

Blair could feel her patience running thinner and thinner as this conversation prolonged, "Look." She finally snaps at him, "If you really felt so bad you would have told her already. You didn't because you don't want to because you know that I'm right about her hating you. So, why don't you pull yourself together and move on? Or has Chuck Bass really lost his edge."

Replaying her words on repeat in his head as he attempts to fully process it all Chuck finally offers a small nod, "I haven't. I was... forget it. We're on the same page." Meeting her gaze one last time, Chuck abruptly turns away from Blair and walks back towards Odette and the others.

Despite his assurance that they were on the same page, her nerves were not subduing. She knew this conversation and this issue was far from over. As she watches him walk away, Blair internally curses herself for allowing this entire mess to happen in the first place.

_'All of this because you just had to screw Chuck, huh?'_

He had been good, but not good enough to be worth all this stress after the fact.

Why..._why_, couldn't she have just believed Nate and Odette when they initially said nothing was happening?

This was far from the first time her insecurity and stubbornness had gotten her into a difficult situation, but this certainly felt the most complex. There was no easy way to maneuver out of this and she had a feeling she would need to start checking in with Chuck much more frequently to keep him off the metaphorical ledge.

* * *

_"Serena,"_

Odette looks over the taller blonde's shoulder to see Dan approaching them, "Dan? How'd you get in here?" Unlike some of the others, she didn't mind Dan all that much, however, she was still surprised to see him crashing her family's Christmas party.

"Oh shoot," Serena groans looking at the time on her phone screen before reaching out to hug Dan, "I'm so late, aren't I?"

"No, no." Dan noticeably breathes a sigh of relief as he feels Serena's body against his own, "I wanted to come meet you. It's pretty chaotic down there and I was concerned you wouldn't be able to find us."

"Your family is down at the tree lighting?"

Shifting his attention to Odette, Dan nods, "It's kind of a _Humphrey tradition_ if you will."

Odette cracks a small smile as she responds, "Cute..." She probably sounded condescending, like she had that time at his father's gallery show, but she meant it. The idea that the entire Humphrey family traveled all the way across the bridge, year after year, to see the same show was cute. She had grown up attending this event, _year after year_, and had quickly grown bored of it all. To her, it was a stupid tree that looked the exact same as the previous years. It didn't mean anything to her, really. But to other people, such as the Humphrey family, it meant so much. It was fond memories, it was the kick-off to Christmas, it was family time.

"How does it look down there?"

She had only ever seen the tree lighting from the upper viewing deck off of the Rainbow Room. From all the way up on the sixty-fifth floor, the massive tree looked less impressive and as a kid, she had always been curious what it was like to watch it light up from the ground level.

"Uh, crowded. Very crowded. Much more spacious in here." As Dan talks he looks around the room nervously as some of the guests stare at him disapprovingly.

Tilting her head to see who was standing behind Dan, Odette asks, "Who's your friend?"

"This is my sister. My _other_ sister." He quickly clarifies as he gestures to Mackenzie.

Mack does her best to refrain from frowning, but she didn't _love_ that introduction. 'The _other_ sister'. It felt like yet another barrier between her and her siblings. She knew Dan didn't mean it that way, but it made her feel so separate from them. Like a different breed altogether... maybe she was, she could hope, that would at least explain a lot.

"You could have just left it at sister." Odette shoots Dan a look, "I obviously would be able to see that she's not Jenny."

Hearing the way this girl talked to her brother, Mackenzie's entire demeanor perked up, "Thank you!" She laughs, "I'm Mackenzie."

"You mean your name is not...the _other_ sister? Weird." With one last roll of her eyes at Dan, Odette offers Mackenzie a handshake, "Odette Rockefeller. It's nice to meet you."

"Ha, Ha." Dan drags each _'ha'_ out in a monotone before narrowing his eyes at Odette, "Mack, ignore this person."

"_Relax_ Dan, you know I'm just giving you a hard time."

"I don't think Dan has ever had a relaxed moment in his life." Mack smirks at her older brother before looking back to Odette, "Sorry for crashing your family's holiday party."

"Oh, it doesn't bother me. I'm mostly just impressed you managed to get through security."

Mackenzie and Dan both stay silent for a moment, neither particularly wanting to disclose how they pulled off such a feat, "It's easier than you would probably think..."

Before anyone else can respond Cortney interrupts. Walking up to the group she tugs on the satin belt around Odette's waist to gather her attention, "I'm heading out."

"Oh..." Odette quickly begins to search the crowded room for Chuck, "Let me just find Chuck so I can say bye and I can leave with you."

"Nope, no need." Cortney is very short with her response, already turning to walk away from Odette before waiting to hear what she has to say.

Odette is immediately taken aback by her sister's brusqueness, "Cort, wait! I seriously don't mind?" As she reaches out to grab her arm in an effort to slow her down, Cortney abruptly yanks it away before shooting daggers back at her.

"Odette stop, seriously. I'm fine. I do not want, nor do I need, you to come with me. Stay, have fun, I don't care." With a final look that could kill Cortney walks off hastily, leaving Odette stunned in her place.

She was experiencing serious whiplash from her sister's bipolar behavior. As of recent, Cortney had been acting very strangely and Odette knew something was going on with her but Cort refused to talk about it. However, regardless of how '_fine'_ she claimed to be, she knew Cortney was out of sorts.

Her little sister had always had _bitchy_ tendencies, but her hostility this week had been worse than Odette had ever experienced.

This cold behavior of hers was even more frustrating because she and Cort _had_ been getting along so well. Ever since the night of Blair's party, the two sisters spent almost all their time together. They had even been sharing the same bed at night, but after Thanksgiving, Cortney had stopped sleeping in Odette's bed and things quickly started to revert back to how they were before with Cortney wanting nothing to do with her.

Since her Thanksgiving makeup with Chuck, Odette had been spending a lot more time with him so it was possible that Cortney was lashing out because of that, but Cortney had also been the one to encourage Odette to work things out with him so could that really be a factor?

Regardless of the reason, she was back to being truly unbearable and Odette really needed to figure out what was going on with her.

"Little sister drama," Mackenzie comments off-handedly before instantly cursing the fact she was inserting herself, but she also felt awkward being a witness and _not_ saying anything, "It's the best."

Odette stares back at the Humphrey girl for a moment before nodding, "Tell me about it. And you don't only have a little sister but also an older brother...and it's _Dan_."

"Okay, really?" Dan pulls himself completely out of Serena's embrace this time as he stares at Odette with an exasperated expression. "You should be so lucky to have me as an older brother."

Despite feeling bad for betraying her loyalty to her Dan, Mackenzie has to laugh at this comment and her brother's annoyed response. Odette had only meant it as a joke but it was true. Being the middle child came with more complications than this stranger could possibly know, but it was still _appreciated_ to hear her struggle of being stuck between Dan and Jenny acknowledged. At Dan's last comment, Mack sways her head from one side to the other as if she was debating it. "Well, someone is very full of themself."

"Five seconds in this place and you've already turned my sister against me." Dan rolls his eyes before nudging Mackenzie, "Even Jenny lasted longer than you."

Rolling her eyes in bemusement Odette looks around the room once again and her eyes finally land on Chuck. He was standing across the room talking with Blair and by the look of both of their rigid postures, the conversations didn't appear to be a pleasant one. She wasn't sure what the two of them even had to talk about she also figured if it was anything noteworthy one of them would mention it to her at some point.

_"I need to talk to you." _

She doesn't need to look to know who is talking to her but instead of causing a scene with her typical hostility, she shrugs before giving Serena a hug, "You guys have fun tonight and Mackenzie," she nods in her direction, "it was so nice to meet you and hopefully Dan doesn't keep you so hidden from all of us in the future. I really think you and I will get along great."

"Especially if we just get to poke fun at and torture Dan the whole time." Mack offers a small wink at her brother before smiling back at Odette, "Thanks again for being so cool about us crashing."

"It's the very least I could do for the _illusive_ _other_ sister." Looking back at Serena, Odette sighs, "Serena, before you leave, _please_ tell Chuck to come find me if I'm not back in five minutes. Starting..." Pulling out her phone she makes a mental note of the time displayed across the screen, "Now." Glancing over her shoulder at Jordan she gestures for him to lead the way.

Jordan walks several steps ahead of Odette, cautiously checking every few seconds that she's actually following him.

Begrudgingly, she is, but she also takes her sweet time doing so. Just as Jordan checks over his shoulder for her every few seconds, Odette stops to exchange pleasantries with any passerby she might even vaguely recognize. Her intentions were all too obvious, she was running out the clock. Once they finally make their way across the expansive room and tuck themselves into a mostly desolate corner, Odette eyes a nearby clock and fights the urge to grin.

_'Three minutes left.'_

"Your times ticking away Jordy, so if I was you I would make it snappy." She snaps her fingers together inches from his face for full effect.

Knowing her well enough by now to know she's not joking about keeping their interaction timed, he immediately begins, "I want to apologize for my behavior earlier." As she looks at him in bewilderment he continues, "My comments were... unnecessary."

"This is what you pulled me away for? Seriously?" She almost has to laugh at how ridiculous it is, "Yeah, you're a dick. It's fine and I'm used to it." She makes a point to pat him on his shoulder condescendingly as she attempts to move around him and back to her friends but before she can completely round the corner he grabs her by the wrist, "I'm not done yet."

There was probably a million and two snarky things she could respond to him, but instead, she stays quiet and waits for him to continue.

"Are you dating the Bass kid?"

"What?" Completely caught off guard, Odette takes a small step back from him and watches as he feverishly clenches and unclenches his jaw.

"It's not exactly an ideal matchup. Your grandfather has worked incredibly hard to establish a well-respected reputation for all of you and," Jordan pauses for a moment shrugging repeatedly as he practices what he's going to say next in his head before continuing out loud, "Chuck's, you know, no good."

Hearing Jordan attempt to tear down Chuck's character puts Odette immediately on the defense. With a scoff, she glares at Jordan before biting back at him, "And you're qualified to make that assumption based on what exactly?"

He had been prepared for some fightback, when it came to Odette there always was some, but despite his experience in dealing with her hostilities it never got any easier. Jordan liked to think of himself as a fairly intelligent and confident guy, but Odette always had this innate ability to regress him back to the awkward, dorky, teenager he had once been long before he ever knew her or her family. When she looked at him with so much disdain, so much coldness, it felt like a kick to the stomach, and her tone cut like a knife to his ego.

"I'm just confused Jordan." She taps one singular, perfectly manicured, finger against her chin, "Does your _vast_ knowledge on public relations suddenly make you an expert on someone's character?" As he attempts to respond she presses a finger against his lips, firmly, "Nope, I'm not done. Is Edleman offering this _expertise_ in those quarterly seminars? Or is judging this something you mastered during your attendance in Bayside public schools?"

Lightly swatting her finger off his face Jordan takes a deep breath, "You done?"

"Are you?"

"All I'm saying is that I think it would be in your best interest to be...smart." Odette shows no reaction to this and Jordan struggles for a moment how to phrase this without having to be too direct, "He has a pretty big reputation." He was being too kind. It was certainly no secret that Chuck lived a promiscuous lifestyle and Odette being linked to him recently concerned Jordan, just as it likely concerned a lot of others. "I- your grandfather, wouldn't want you getting a reputation for being _that_ kind of girl."

It was taking all of her self control to not grab every glass from the nearest table and hurl them at his head, "You have to be joking. My reputation, really Jordan?"

"You're not that kind of girl and I don't think anyone wants you to be painted as such."

"And what kind of girl is that, exactly?" Crossing her arms firmly against her chest, Odette tilts her head, challenging him with her eyes.

"By being seen out with that kid everyone is going to think you're.. that you're sleeping with him." As the dreaded words finally spill out, he starts to rub circles against his temples as he feels the onslaught of a migraine begin.

A brittle laugh escapes Odette's lips but is immediately stifled as she brings her hands up to cover her mouth. She stays very still for a prolonged pause as she feels his words spinning inside her head. "You're unbelievable, truly." Shaking her head in disgust, she swallows the lump growing in the base of her throat, "You said my grandfather is the one concerned, right? Strange he hasn't mentioned it to me? Perhaps I should go talk to him? In fact, I think I will go and do that. I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear that you're acting like a jealous ex-boyfriend."

Jordan noticeably recoils at her last line, shaking his head adamantly, "That's inappropriate."

"Yeah! It is..." Their eyes meet and she stares at him in complete bewilderment, "Whether I'm sleeping with Chuck or not is no one's goddamn business, least of all yours, got it?"

"You _are_ my business, actually." Jordan is quick to remind her, just as he has many times before, "It's my job to know the happenings of your life."

"Strange. I get your persistence in being up the asses of all the adults in my family. They have public images to uphold and serious professions, and whatnot. But, I don't see you this concerned over '_the happenings'_ of Coco's life, which makes your singular obsession with me very strange. And I'm sure Pops would think so too." Nodding to herself for a moment, Odette steps closer to him so that he's forced to look at her directly, "Jordan, know your place and stay out of my personal life unless you are directly instructed otherwise. Which I'm willing to venture was not the case in this instance, was it?" his lack of response told her everything she needed to know, "Right." Glancing up over Jordan's shoulder she can see Chuck moving their way, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go screw my dates brains out. Or, maybe I won't. Either way, still none of your business."

As she walks away from Jordan she can feel his eyes boring into her descending frame but she quickly pushes thoughts of their unpleasant interaction away as she meets up with Chuck.

"Hey."

Watching the way his lips curl into a small smirk Odette is transfixed on his mouth for a moment but she tears her eyes away to look up at him through her lashes, "You wanna get out of here, or what?"

Chuck's eyes flicker up Odette's body, _twice_, before settling back on her face, "Definitely."

* * *

Having sex with someone for the first time was such a strange occurrence. Rarely had one, or both, parties been expecting it but one thing leads to another and that's where they end up and unless you're specifically planning the big event out, chances are it happens completely unexpectedly.

Odette fully didn't intend on having sex with Chuck. Rationally, she knew she couldn't. As Jordan had put it, Chuck had a _big_ reputation. He had slept with half of her friend group, and a large number of other girls, and boys, all across Manhattan.

As much as she liked him, in all honesty, she was also completely terrified to sleep with him.

Her biggest fear being that once he got that from her, he'd discard her like he did everyone else. He wasn't the dating type, she knew this, but what they had going was working and she really didn't want to ruin it.

But as he kissed his way down her neck everything in her was yearning for him.

Their clothes were strewn across the floor surrounding Chuck's bed, having been discarded hastily as their initial kiss intensified.

Her hands knowingly found their way to him as she momentarily pulls back to catch her breath. Cupping his face in her hands, her eyes briefly stare into his own as her thumb caresses his cheek gently before they both dip in towards each other once again.

She can feel his hands trace down her frame, hesitating on the dip of her bare waistline before venturing further down. Her breathing becomes much more laborious as his fingers graze across the lace of her underwear before settling on her inner thigh. Inching closer and closer to the warmth radiating from inside her, his lips move from her neck to her collarbone and from there continue to move downward. He leaves small, _appreciative_, kisses all across her breast, even where her nipples are still covered by the matching lace fabric of her bra.

As his fingers begin to stroke her more vigorously, the lace fabric rubs against her, sending shots of pleasure coursing through her body. Arching her back, a soft moan escapes her lips and she can feel him smirk against her skin - he was clearly pleased with himself.

As one set of fingers works at teasing her, the other fumbles with the clasp of her bra. Once he gets the hooks undone the supportive material falls loose, allowing her breast to spring forward and pull his attention.

Despite wanting nothing more than to bury his head between her full bust, he pulls back from her and takes a moment to study her. His finger drags across her skin torturingly slow as he traces the slopes of her chest.

Having hooked up with as many girls as he had, naked bodies all started to blend and look the same. Big breast, small breast, no breast at all. Voluptuous or board thin. Big nipples, small nipples, dark ones, pink ones. They were different but not enough for him to bother paying much attention. He was usually so focused on getting to the actual sex that he didn't take the time to actually appreciate the body he was bedding, but with Odette, he had to.

He had seen her in intimate forms before, but never like this. He watched, completely entranced, as her chest rose and fell with her breathing.

She was beautiful.

He could tell her that... he wouldn't, but he could.

Closing her eyes, mostly due to nerves, Odette sighs, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

"Don't tempt me."

She wasn't a virgin and she had definitely been in this exact position on more than one occasion, but something about the way Chuck was looking her over made her feel more exposed than ever. It was almost like her body wasn't the only thing laying bare before him, it was as if the very essence of her soul was there too, on full display for him. All her vulnerabilities and insecurities saying, _'hey, here I am. Take me or leave me...but please choose me. Take me.'_ It was unnerving and simultaneously thrilling.

She had no doubt he had looked at many before her this same way, but that was the thing about Chuck. Despite knowing his reputation and knowing there were others, in these moments he had the ability to make someone feel like they were the only person that ever existed in his world. He had a way of making you feel completely safe and that's what made him so dangerous.

"Chuck?" She can barely hear her own voice over the sound of her rapidly beating heart, "Can..." It almost felt like her heart was attempting to burst out of her chest cavity.

His eyes settle back on her own as she calls for his attention, "Can...?"

Odette shakes her head in an attempt to clear her own nerves, "I want to have sex with you." She rephrases, waiting for his response before carrying on.

"I want to have sex with you, too." His brows pull together in concentration as he licks his bottom lip, "Weren't we getting there?"

"Yeah, but that's the thing..." she bites at her lower lip for a moment as her nerves threaten to spill out completely, "I want to have sex with you but I think we should wait." She can't even keep eye contact with him at her last point, her gaze dropping to his bare chest. She starts to trace small patterns against his skin, "Please don't be offended, but I would really like you to get tested before we go any further."

"You think I have something? I know it would be expected that someone with a track record like mine would, but I'm clean. I take care of myself."

"I don't think you're some _disease-ridden_ miscreant but I just want to be safe." Sitting up some more, she rests her head against his headboard and closes her eyes briefly, "It's a me issue, it's not just because of you and your '_track record'_."

Chuck moves once she does, sitting on the edge of the bed so he can still look at her. His eyes search hers for some type of understanding, "It's not you, it's me. Really?" As Odette buries her head in her own hands, Chuck instinctively reaches out to stroke her head comfortingly, but he hesitates before retracting his hand altogether, "What's up, Swan?"

"Last year, I was seeing someone..."

"Isaac."

"Someone else," she clarifies, "and he gave me chlamydia." Her voice cracks as her body physically fights to repress that word from coming out. She had never said it out loud before, "It's curable and I don't have it anymore. I have test to prove it," she clarifies further, "but still, it was a really demeaning experience and made me feel really bad about myself. I took him at his word and paid the price and I really don't want to go through that again."

A long beat of silence passes between them as Chuck takes her words in fully. He can tell she's doing all she can to avoid eye contact so instead of trying to get her to look at him, he leans in and kisses her shoulder. He appreciated her honesty, respected it even, but he could also see that she didn't need him to acknowledge that specifically. She just needed him to see why this was so important and he did.

"I understand. I'll get tested and we can go from there."

He lays another kiss against her shoulder and his lips linger as he stares down her body. Just like before, he begins to trace her freckles, but this time her clothes aren't there for them to disappear behind and as he moves his finger further down there's nothing to stop him.

He studies the way they group together in some areas and taper off in others, but mostly he's in awe of how many she truly had. There were so many that were hidden every day by her clothes but having her almost all the way naked in his bed gave him the perfect opportunity to take them all in. Her body was a galaxy and her freckles were stars that he wanted to explore, _badly_.

"We don't have to have sex, but can you lay here like this for just a little longer." His eyes drift from her myriad of freckles back to her face, "I think it's high time the world knows just how far down these go. And by the world, I mean me, _obviously_."

Odette is surprised by how quickly Chuck moves on from her STI admission. She had half expected him to probe her for more answers or to kick her out of his bed in disgust, but he did neither.

Obliging his request, Odette relaxes back into the bed, "I hate my freckles."

"Oh, I love them."

_'Love.'_

That was probably the closest she'd ever get to hearing Chuck use the L-word in relation to anything concerning her, but she'd take it. For now.

Just as Chuck begins to stroke his finger across her unblemished skin once more, the ring of someone's cell pierces the air.

Odette groans faintly as she recognizes the familiar sound as the ring of her own phone, "Short pause." She smiles innocently to Chuck before reaching across him to the bedside table in search of her cell. Glancing at the caller ID she rolls her eyes before picking up, "Blair, I'm kind of busy right now. Can this wait till the morning?"

Chuck's entire body goes stiff as he hears Blair's name. Why would she be calling Odette this late at night? Had what he said gotten to her? Had she decided to do the right thing after _explicitly_ coercing him not to?

_"Oh my god!"_

Hearing the shock in Odettes tone, he rolls over onto his back and stares directly up at his ceiling, expressionless, as he anticipates what's coming.

_"Okay. Okay."_

Chuck can hear Odette hang up and she immediately gets up off the bed. Propping himself up on his elbows he watches her move around the room in a daze, redressing herself.

So Blair had caved.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

"Odette, I'm so-"

"Get dressed, hurry." Odette looks over her shoulder at him as she works on pulling her jumpsuit back on, "We need to get to the hospital."

"Hospital?" At this revelation, Chuck walks across the room and spins her around by the small of her waist to look at him and instantly notices the tears threatening to fall, "Whoa, talk to me. What's going on?"

"Nate's dad overdosed and...it doesn't look good. Nate's freaking out, so we really should hurry."

Chuck stops listening to her after the first three words.

_'Nate's dad overdosed'_

The words replayed again and again in his head but still didn't make any more sense, even with each replay. Chuck moves around the room collecting his articles of clothing and redressing swiftly. As much as he had been all in with Odette mere moments before, at her revelation it felt like he was the only person left in the room. All thoughts of her completely disappeared from his mind as his full focus was turned to Nate.

His dad had overdosed and it didn't look good. No one in their friend group could understand the range of feelings Nate was probably experiencing, no one besides him. He needed to be there to support Nate.

"Let's go."

* * *

The waiting room in Lenox Hill smelled like a mixture of rubber, burned coffee, and sterilizing products.

The seats were covered in red pleather that had little to no cushion and were getting more uncomfortable by the minute. The wall farthest from the group had a large, broken, clock hanging on it and with every five ticks it moved forward, it then promptly moved seven back. This had given Serena something to focus on as they all sat in complete silence but it had also thrown off her perception of time and she was starting to feel like they had been sitting here for days.

Serena, Blair, Chuck, and Odette had been sitting here with Nate and Anne Archibald for over an hour and a half and still hadn't received any sort of update on The Captain's well being. They didn't know if he was alive or dead and the anticipation was visibly eating away at Nate as he sat forward in his seat, his elbows propped up on his knees and supporting his chin as his foot tapped furiously against the vinyl flooring.

Blair hadn't left Nate's side the entire night and though she didn't say anything to him she showed her support silently and through touch. Her right arm was draped across him, rubbing different shaped circles into his back and she would only stop this when she took hold of Nate's hand to say prayers for Howard.

Blair Waldorf was not religious by any means, the only thing holy in her book was Chanel, but they all attended Catholic school and she had learned enough prayers during their weekly masses to know what to do.

"Okay, here we go." Dan walks up to the group, juggling two drink carriers of coffee, "It's hot, so be careful." No one besides Anne and Serena takes the coffee but it was the gesture that counted.

After sitting the remaining drinks on a small table closest to where they were all seated, Dan moves to take his seat next to Serena. Wrapping an arm around her he relaxes against her body as she curls up against him.

Turning her head, she brings her lips directly to his ear and whispers, "Thank you for being here."

He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to, but he does lean in to plant a comforting kiss on her forehead.

Dan was a good guy, better than she deserved. The way he dropped everything to be here for her and her friends, half of whom were downright nasty towards him, said a lot about his character.

And knowing what a good guy he was and still having the _audacity_ to feel some type of way about Nate said a lot about hers.

It was more complicated than just that, of course, but she wished it wasn't. She cared about Dan a lot but recent events had definitely sparked up some of her residual feelings for Nate. He was with Blair though and she refused to go down _that_ road again, so she'd just have to do what she could to ignore it.

But, as she leaned against Dan's body she watched Nate, so clearly in distress, and wanted nothing more than to be the one to comfort him through this.

It was hard to explain but her love for Nate ran so deep. They had been through so much together, more than what even he or anyone else might realize. Maybe she didn't want to _really_ be with him, but she felt a strong connection to him that she doubted would ever fully go away. As much as she liked and cared for Dan, part of her did question if she could ever feel as strongly for him as she did... _had_, with Nate

Odette was seated directly across from Nate and Blair, and like Serena, she had been watching their subtle interactions all night. It was blatant to anyone with eyes that worked that Blair was completely in love with Nate. Her concern for him was clear in her eyes and her tenderness was obvious by the way she caressed him, constantly. Whether she was comforting him or praying with him, Blair's hands never left Nate's body. It was a constant reminder that he wasn't alone and served as a sense of protection from everything they didn't currently know.

It was easy to not take Nate and Blair's relationship very seriously when they clearly had so many issues, but in moments like this, it was also easy to remember what had brought them together in the beginning - love.

Looking around the room, Odette notices that Chuck isn't where she had last seen him by the magazine rack. Standing up, she stretches a little and feels the muscles in her back tighten in pain from sitting for too long. As she twists her body in an effort to pop her back she spots Chuck down the hall, staring blankly out of a large glass window.

He had been in his own head since she told him the news and aside from the minimal conversations he had with both Nate and Anne, he had remained completely silent and withdrawn from everyone.

"Hey..." She reaches out and runs her hand across his arm, "You okay?"

"I don't really like hospitals." He explains, looking at her for a moment before turning his focus back to the window.

It was true. Hospitals had always made him uncomfortable. They smelled like death and regardless of how much they tried to cover it up, he could always catch the scent of it all over.

Anytime he was reminded of death his mind went right back to that day and as those thoughts swallowed him all he could see was the image of Evelyn's dangling body. He immediately rubs at his eyes as if to try to erase the image, he had been trying to for years now, but to no prevail.

This wasn't about him, or his dead mother though. This was about Nate. He knew that and wanted to be here to support his friend but he was having a harder time than he had anticipated he would.

Chuck was clearly struggling and despite wanting to say something, she didn't know what the right thing to say to him was. So, instead of trying to find the right words she follows Blair's lead and says nothing, but she does take his hand in hers. Once she notices Chuck staring at their intertwined fingers she shrugs, "Were not at school or in public, really," she gestures to the mostly dead hallway, "I think it's okay for us to hold hands."

"I wasn't objecting." He shakes his head at her before staring back out the window, "Thanks, Swan."

"For what?"

He's quiet for some time before responding, but when he does, he says it as if it's the most simple explanation in the world. The most obvious one too, "For everything."

* * *

_And there we have it!_

_This was yet another colossal of an update but considering the positive feedback I received from the last chapter, in regards to the length, I figured most of you wouldn't mind. Interestingly enough this entire chapter wasn't in my original story plans but the next chapter is a big one (plot-wise) and I really felt like I needed to develop certain relationships and plot points further before diving into *all* that. A small, shameless, reminder that you can get a sneak peek of what's coming with the next update by heading over to **gilded . ff** and watching the promo video!_

_I want to quickly note that there are similarities between the writing of Blair and Odette's bedroom moments with Chuck. This was completely intentional and I actually hope you guys did notice some of those similarities. Mainly in how they both talk about how Chuck makes them feel in those moments, this is important... Though, I also was trying to show key differences to help highlight the different levels of intimacy. For example, during Blair's excerpt, almost the entire scene is solely from her perspective, her inner-dialogue, etc. With Chuck and Odette, I really tried to focus on both of them so we can see that it's not one-sided and it really wasn't meant to read as strictly sexual, but rather intimate? I sure hope that translated the way I wanted it to at least lol. _

_I always am so nervous my updates won't be strong or well-done/entertaining, so hopefully, you all enjoyed this. Especially after I made you wait so long... I promise I won't leave you all hanging with this next update. _

_Thank you for reading this far and thank you for supporting me and this story. I can't stress enough how passionate I am about this character and her story and I can not wait for you guys to see what's going to happen next. _


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